Fandom High School

This week, there wasn't a gothic castle in sight. Instead, the Danger Shop had been set up as a muggy tropical island. The students stood in the middle of a clearing, surrounded by jungle brush on all sides. A dirt path led out of the clearing down through the trees.

And a big pile of weapons lay stacked in front of the class.

Prof Tomoe stood near it, still managing to keep his face cloaked in shadows despite the bright Caribbean sun. "This is our last regular class of the semester, and I thought it would be good to give you some exercise after spending so much of this term cooped up in labs. So today, you're going for a hike."

He waved a hand at the area around them. "We're currently on Isla Nublar, a small private island near Costa Rica. It's owned by InGen, a genetics company run by John Hammond and staffed with the best bio-engineers money can buy. InGen's specialty is in looking at unusual genetics work, especially with recreating animals that have disappeared from our current environment. There was an ... incident with an investors' tour a few months ago, but it's nothing you need to concern yourselves with."

He pointed towards the path. "We're currently two and a half miles from the coast. There is a yacht docked at the end of this path, with delicious celebration cake or something waiting on it for all of you. So have a nice walk, pair up if you like, enjoy the local fauna."

An evil grin spread across his face.

"Try not to die," he said, before breaking out in a long maniacal laugh

This week, the Danger Shop was set up to look like an immense hall in a military base. Large, imposing, vaguely demon-like giant robots stood against the walls.

Prof Tomoe's usual coffee cup had a logo reading NERV on it this week. "We've talked a lot about male mad scientists so far in this course," he said, "and the field has been largely male dominated for most of its existence. But that does not mean that women cannot also be pioneers in pushing the boundaries of science in areas better left unexplored. Today, we're going to examine the work of Dr Yui Ikari.

"In this universe, a major cataclysm happened 15 years ago, destroying Antarctica, causing general global annihilation, and unleashing a wave of vengeful non-humanoid angels bent on destroying the human race. Tokyo was decimated in the flooding, so Japan's base of operation was moved here to Tokyo-3. Dr Ikari was tasked with creating something to fight off the angels, and she and the NERV Organization came up with the Evengelion units."

He pointed up to one of the giant robots. "You may be wondering what makes these Evangelions different from your typical giant robot. Firstly, they're cyborgs built from a mix of cloned angel DNA and robotic parts, powered by the souls of dead mothers. Secondly, in order to control them, the pilot must dress in a skintight plug suit, be completely immersed in amniotic fluid, and try to sync completely with the Eva unit, or be ripped to shreds by the Lovecraftian angels rampaging across the world."

He grinned brightly. "So, who'd like to try one?"

This week, the Danger Shop had been set up to look like Tokyo. Again. But unlike the cheerful, sunshiney 70s version from a couple classes ago, this one looked like it had survived the apocalypse, with blocks full of rubble and half-destroyed buildings.

"Welcome to Neo Tokyo!" Prof Tomoe said. "As you can see, it's a bit of a mess. Massive explosions and global wars tend to do that."

He leaned against one of the dozen or so futuristic motorcycles set up in around the area the class was in. "It's also the home reality of Dr Onishi, a scientist working with the Metropolitan government on the Akira Project. His main interest is in ESP and the potential of enhancing psychic powers in potential test subjects." He grinned. "No matter how you go about doing that."

There was an ominous rumble somewhere nearby. Prof Tomoe ignored it and kept on talking.

"Unfortunately, most of the societal dregs they kidnap to experiment on simply die. And their successful case is even worse."

A building across the street blew apart, and a hideous, misshapen blob of a man emerged from it. He must have been normal looking once, with spikey black hair and a red cape tied around his neck, but now he was a mess of pulsing, rippling flesh and metal.

"And there would be be Mr Tetsuo now. You're going to want to do something before he tries to kill you."

This week, the Danger Shop was set up to look like a mid-sized Japanese city. Judging by the fashions of the simulated people passing by on the streets, it seemed to be set sometime in the 70s.

Prof Tomoe waited in front of an open park for everyone to arrive. The students might have noticed that their teacher was somewhat less energetic than usual. And that his coffee cup was twice the size of most weeks.

"I was detained elsewhere last week," he said, "so I hope you had a decent class in my absence. Since I was in Japan, I thought we'd take a look at another notable Japanese mad scientist this week."

( Remember that time when Spider-Man was a dirt bike racer who got psychic powers via a dying alien warrior from Planet Spider, and used them to summon both a rocket spider-car and a giant robot named Leopardon to battle rubber suit monsters? Japan does. )

This week, the Danger Shop had been set up to look like a lush tropical island covered with thick rain forests. It must have been somewhere near the equator, since the air was hot and muggy. Strange noises kept coming from deeper inside the forest.

"I hope you had a nice time with your parents this weekend," said Prof Tomoe. "I'm sure you're all eager to shoot something after being forced to spend time with unwelcome relatives, so we'll hopefully give you the chance to do so today.

"This," he said, motioning around them, "is the island of Dr Moreau, one of the pioneers in the field of animal/human genetic manipulation. Intentional genetic manipulation, that is; not like Dr Delambre. Dr Moreau accomplished much of his earliest work through vivisection, the act of cutting animals apart while still alive, and then stitching creatures together. However, since it's highly unlikely that any of you are skilled surgeons of that calibre, we're going to be tackling this subject through other means."

He lead the class down to the beach, where a trio of strange animals were tied up next to a crate of science-fiction-y looking laser guns.

"For today's lesson, we'll be using these. They should be simple enough, even for you. Point at one animal. Fire. Point at a second animal. Fire. Watch the two be fused together into one creature. Any questions?" He paused for a minute, before carrying on.

"I've provided a few sample animals, to give you some ideas for your own projects. I have here a half-pony/half-moneky creature. Next to it is a mixed shark/octopus, or skartopus . And this one combines the DNA of both a man and a mosquito. A Mansquito, if you would."

He passed the crate of laser guns to the nearest student. "So, take a gun, and go explore the forests of the island. Bring me back at least one compound creature by the end of class." He grinned wickedly. "Try not to hit your fellow students, although I won't punish you if you do."

He pulled a doll-sized version of the same gun out of one the pockets in his lab coat and reached down. "And this is for you, Miss Clock."

This week, the Danger Shop had been set up to look like the partially finished basement of a suburban 50s house. The entire floor had been retrofitted into a lab, with heavy grey machines and connecting wires set into the walls. A human-sized metal box with glass panelling and a hinged door stood in the middle of the space. Piles of broken furniture and household goods surrounded the otherwise perfect metal boxes.

Sliding doors were at both ends of the room. One, leading to an antechamber, was open; the other, leading up to the rest of the house, was closed. An odd, constant buzzing noise came from behind the sliding door blocking the stairway up.

Prof Tomoe started into his lecture as soon as all the students had arrived. "We've spent the last couple of classes looking at different types of reanimation. It's time to expand our scope a little. So, today, we're going to look at a completely different topic. Teleportation!"

He placed a hand on the metal box. "The first successful teleporter was invented by Dr Andre Delambre in 1958. The device is extremely simple. You place an item or individual in telepod A." He rapped his knuckles against the glass panel. "The computer scans it, disassembles it down to atoms, beams it across to telepod B at the speed of light, and reassembles it there." He pointed to the far side of the basement, where an identical box sat in the antechamber. "A fairly remarkable feat for something built and controlled using 50s technology.

"For today's class, we're going to test out his teleporter. If you would like to be teleported, step into telepod A one at a time. As much as I'd like to force you to go through with this, the school would like me to clarify that this is a voluntary activity and there is a 95% chance that you will be successfully reassembled at the other end."

He reached for the control panel, and then stopped. He looked back over at the class. "Oh, one thing. Be very careful not to get any foreign material in the telepod with you. We don't want any ... complications." A wide grin broke over his face. "Now, who wants to try it out?"


After all the students who were willing to go had been teleported, there was a noise from the far end of the room, and the other door slowly slid open. Prof Tomoe looked up at it. "Oh look," he said, "( there's Dr Delambre now.' )

This week, the classroom had more of a mad science-y atmosphere to it. The Danger Shop had been set up to look like the inside of a massive gothic castle at night. A noisy thunderstorm raged outside, with lightening casting great flashes of white light across the rain seeping in through cracks in the stonework. A heavy curtain with a pull string blocked off half the room from the students' view, but the parts they could see were filled with many strange late 18th century/early 19th century electrical machines, connected to lightening rods which stretched through small gaps in the high ceiling.

Prof Tomoe waited in front of the class to assemble, before launching into his lecture.

"Welcome to our first real class!" he said energetically. "To really get the history of mad science, it's important to understand its origins. And this--" He waved a hand at the room. "--is the time and place where it was born. In the late 1700s, a young scientist named Victor Frankenstein became convinced that it was possible to give new life to the dead through galvanism, the effect of stimulating dead muscle tissue with electricity to produce physical responses. His colleagues considered the idea an affront against both scientific ethics and God. They were right, of course, but that didn't stop Frankenstein's experiment from being an unbridled success."

He grabbed the curtain cord with a free hand, and played with it a little. "And then he abandoned his Creature, it murdered everyone he loved in an effort to be recognized by its 'father', and the two of them engaged in a death match on the frozen arctic tundra that ended both of their lives, but let's focus on the positive: his successful reanimation of the dead is considered the first recognized act of mad science. Although not the most popular of subjects, there has been some continued exploration in the field of reanimation, most notably through the 1920s work of Herbert West."

Prof Tomoe grinned brightly at the class. "And today, we're going to recreate Frankenstein's original experiment."

He pulled on the cord, and the heavy curtain came crashing to the floor. The other side of the room held several antique-looking gurneys, each with a clean, sewn-together corpse laid out on top.

"Your task for today is to bring one of these corpses back to life, using the principals of galvanism and any of the equipment in this room." A beat. "These bodies are Danger Room simulations, if you're the kind of person who cares about that sort of thing. You're welcome to work alone or with a partner, however you prefer. I'll be on hand if you need help."

He then broke into a long, loud maniacal laugh, because that's what you do when surrounded by dead bodies in a creepy gothic castle.

Today, the Danger Room didn't look like either a lab or a classroom. Or any kind of building, for that matter. Instead, the students would find themselves on a sunny street full of shops in the Juuban District of Tokyo.

Oddly enough, Professor Tomoe's face was still covered in shadows.

He leaned against a rail as he waited for his students to show up. He grinned widely once they were assembled. "Good afternoon, class!" he said. "You may be wondering what we're doing in a nice part of Tokyo and how it relates to your final exam. Well, over the past few months, we've been talking about many of the tools that that mad scientists use. For your final, we're going to see how well you've learned how to use them. There is only one activity involved in your final."

He threw his arms open wide. "DESTROY TOKYO!"

He then let out a long maniacal laugh that went on for so long that it ended in a coughing fit. He regained his composure, and lowered his arms. "Yes, I want you to destroy Tokyo. You may use any tool that we've talked about this semester. I have a copy of the syllabus taped up to one of the poles if you wish to refresh yourself on the topics we covered. You will receive higher grades if you manage to destroy the Tokyo Tower as a part of your rampage."

He held up a warning finger to the group. "However, you should know that Tokyo has the highest concentration of so-called 'heroes' on the planet, even more than New York. It is highly likely that some costumed fool will try and stop you from destroying the city. Should they appear, you must either defeat them, or destroy as much of the city as possible despite their interference."

He gave them another glowing grin. "Good luck."

Today, the Danger Shop was set up to look suspiciously like an underground bunker. A pair of flicking neon lights buzzed overhead, and revealed a large Plexiglas window leading to another darkened room. Prof Tomoe waited for the class to fill in before doing more than sipping his coffee.

"Good afternoon, class!" he said. "Today's topic is about something I enjoy very much: Doomsday Machines. Some mad scientists will build machines capable of taking out a few dozen or a few hundred people at once, but a typical doomsday machine will wipe out everyone, whether that definition include a single country, or the entire world."

He hit a switch on the wall, revealing that there was another room behind the Plexiglas filled with an enormous and complicated machine. A small console was set against the nearest wall. The only thing on top of the console was a large red button with the words DO NOT PUSH written in raised letters.

"For this activity, you are a member of an undercover criminal organization called the Death Busters. Interpol has discovered your secret hideout here under the Pacific Ocean, and is on it's way to stop you. You have two choices: let them capture you and lock you up in solitary confinement for the rest of your life, or activate the doomsday machine by hitting the red button. Once activated, the machine will wake a large winged-squid-man-like creature, who will rampage across the Earth eating many people, and driving millions of others mad, but you will be safe."

He grinned at the class. "So those of who you want to push the button, make a break for it. Those of you who don't, try to stop them. Let's see who comes out victorious in the end."

Today, the Danger Shop looked like the usual creepy lab, but without any desks. A very jetlagged Prof Tomoe leaned against the lone table at the front of the class with an enormous cup of coffee in his hand. A pile of silly looking hats sat at either end of the table next to few water guns and flag football belts. He watched the class through bleary eyes until everyone had filtered in.

"Welcome to today's class," he said in a less exuberant tone of voice than usual. "I hope you enjoyed Vice Principle Hades' very informative lesson while I was gone. Today we're talking about alien invasions. A lot of people have the idea that aliens don't exist, or that if they do they're evil creatures that want to conquer the Earth, destroy all life, and set up a new colony for themselves in this branch of the milky way. This, of course, is utterly foolish. Aliens do in fact exist, but they're very nice and only want to help out humanity."

This last part was a total lie, but his evil alien overlords from the Tau Nebula wouldn't want him to spoil their conquest plans too soon.

He took a chug of coffee before continuing. "However, today we're going to test how you would deal with an alien invasion." He paused. "Another alien invasion. For this, I've divided the class into both Humans and Aliens." He pointed at the list on the blackboard at the front of the class:

( The list! )

He motioned to the piles on the desk. "You'll have hats to show which side you're on. The aliens will wear these heavy flight helmets. You won't be able to see out of them, but you will be given a water gun full of koolaid to make up for it. The humans will wear these bowler hats, for no other reason than I think you'll look silly in them. The goal is for the humans to remove the two flags on the aliens' belts without being shot with koolaid. If a human is shot three times, you are considered dead and out of the game. If an alien has both of their flags removed, they are considered dead and out of the game."

He looked around. "If there are no questions, you may all suit up and get to it."

Prof Tomoe's lab looked about the same as usual this week. Well, except for the chickens penned up next to the lab tables. And the giant, oversized lasers pointed at said chickens.

"Good afternoon, students!" he said cheerfully. "Today we're going to be talking about my speciality: genetic engineering. Back when I was a regular, respectable scientist with a loving family and millions of dollars in research grants, I earned my PhD in genetic engineering. I could bore you with talk about formulae and long chemical diagrams and the nitty gritty about how to combine and mutate genetic material, but I'd rather have you get to the fun part quicker: manipulating DNA."

He pointed to one of the oversized lasers. " This is called a Transmogrifier Ray, and can be used to manipulate genetic code from one thing to another. I've preloaded all the ones in this lab with DNA from common animals, and I want you to try them out."

He picked up one of the chickens and positioned it under the ray. "If you hit the Full Power button--" He hit a large red button, and the chicken turned into a pig with a loud ZAP. "--you'll change the animal's complete DNA. If you hit the Half Power button--" He pressed a blue button. There was a loud BOINK sound, and the pig sproued a pair of feathery chicken wings. "--you'll only change part of the animal's DNA."

He grabbed the winged pig as it tried to fly off, and locked it in a pen with a roof. "Your goal for this class is to end up with a half-pony half-monkey hybrid, but if you can come up with something more creative, so be it."

For some reason, today's Mad Science class was set up to look like a bright shopping mall. The stores were closed, and the setting sun was visible through the glass skylight and doors. Professor Tomoe sipped on an expensive looking cappuccino while he waited for the students to arrive.

"Good afternoon students!" he said. "Today is our seventh class together, and since it falls in the middle of the semester, today is also your midterm. You are permitted to use anything that we have talked about in the first half of of your lessons to deal with today's assignments."

He grinned at them. "And what is today's assignment? As luck would have it, we've arrived in this mall just before it's invaded by zombies. Try to defeat one of them before it eats you. Good luck." He let out a cackle. "You'll need it."

The Danger Shop didn't look like an Eastern European graveyard this week, but the desks had been moved to the sides in favour of a few odd looking things in the centre of the room. A phonebooth, a Victorian looking chair, and an eighties sportscar took up most of the space in the room, and all three of them seemed to have very odd wires and attachments and levers added to them.

The Professor leaned against the hood of the car while he waited for the class to arrive. "Good afternoon, students!" he said, as soon they had filled into the room. "Today's class subject is time travel. Time travel involves using a special device -- as such the ones behind me -- to puncture through the folds in the space time continuum to take yourself to a different time and occasionally a different place. There are many different methods of achieving this, many of which involve the use of a machine to take you from time to time."

He grinned malevolently at the class. "But the best way to learn about time travel is to throw you right into the deep end." A passed out a number of sealed cards. "Each of you have been given a different objective. You will pick one of these three time machines, and try to fix it. Luckily, this is entirely a holographic simulation, so you can't permanently damage the timeline. Try not to mess up the space-time continuum too much."

Up and ready!

The desks were back in the lab this week. The only really big change to the usual setup was the addition of a very large plastic bin at the front of the room. Prof Tomoe waited until all the students had taken their seats before launching into his lecture.

"Good afternoon, students! Now that we've had an introduction to how lasers work, we're going to move on to the most important room you will ever set foot in: your laboratory.

"What makes a good lab? Well, that depends what type of made science you decide to specialize in. Since my PHD is in Genetic Engineering, I have mine set up with enough space for my test tubes and chemical mixtures. Some scientists prefer to have large galvanic machines and lightening rods in their laboratories. Still other prefer automated machines and enough space to convert sports cars into machines capable of time travel. Regardless of what you prefer, there are three thing you must include in your lab."

He grabbed a piece of chalk, and turned to write on the blackboard.

1) POWER SOURCE
2) SECURITY DEVICES
3) COFFEE MAKER

He turned back to face the class. "And why should you have these three things? Well, since Mad Science often requires large, blinking machines with no clear purposes, you'll need your own large power source to make sure they keep running properly. And since much of Mad Science is about pushing the boundaries of human knowledge further than those 'conventional' scientists would ever dream of going, you'll want to make sure that you have proper security measures in place from those who would dare to meddle with your experiments. And a coffee machine, because it's rather inadvisable to operate machines that can tear apart the very fabric of the universe while you're half asleep and drowsy." He looked at the students to make sure that they had all heard that warning.

"For today's class, I want you to pair up with someone else." He pulled the lid off the plastic bin, and held up a handful of small, coloured, plastic Danish stacking blocks. "The two of you are going to build me your dream lab out of Lego. Try to come to a compromise about what to put in it, and be prepared to justify to me what you picked. If you put a Demon Shark in there, I'll be curious to know why."

He beckoned the students up to the front to grab handfuls of Lego bricks. "Happy building."

The students had been handwavily sent notes that the Mad Science class would be taking place in the Danger Shop beforehand. Once they arrived, they'd notice that the place had been set up to look like a dark and foreboding laboratory in the basement of a large building. There were desks, but they'd been pushed to the side of the smoke filled room, leaving a foggy space in the middle. A man busied himself with a table full of test tubes at the front of the room.

Curiously, the teacher's head and shoulders were completely covered in shadows, despite the many fluorescent lights in the room. His glasses glowed white, and when he smiled, his mouth glowed a weird red.

"Ah, good afternoon students," he said. "My name is Professor Souichi Tomoe, and I'll be your Mad Science instructor this term. This course will be a bit broader than the one I offered over the summer, so those of you who are repeating students should be able to acquire some new knowledge this time."

( Evil twister. Eeeeeeeeeeevil. )

Once again, the danger shop had been set up to look like a weird lab in the bottom of some large building. A coffee pot had been left to percolate over top of one of the bunsen burners for the students, while the professor busied himself with something at the front of the room. Once all the students had taken their seats, he hoisted something up on to the main lab counter with a loud thud.

"Good afternoon, students!" he said. "I hope that all of you brought an item this week as I told you to. In the last real class most of you successfully made daimon eggs, after several explosive failures. This week, we're making actual daimon monsters!"

He moved to the back of the room, and showed the students previous monsters he had made from a doorknob, a colt handgun, a book manuscript, and a microphone, before heading back to the front of the class.

He patted his machine, which was certainly looked like a large green EZ-Bake oven with a black star painted on the side. "This machine combines the egg with a common household item. But, Professor, how on Earth does that work? you ask. Never you mind, and get back to making me some lunch! I reply."

There was another thunk as the professor picked up a karaoke machine and put it on the table next to the oven. "You may remember this evil Karaoke machine and its evil database of Céline Dion and Fergie songs from an earlier class." He opened the door to the EZ-bake oven and shoved the karaoke machine inside. "This machine will combine any item inside with a daimon egg, and turn it into a full-grown daimon monster capable of stealing pure heart crystals, and fighting meddling do-gooders.

He flipped a switch on the side of the oven. There was a loud flare of dramatic music, as large amounts of energy passed through the oven and cast out a brilliant light. Finally, there was a large explosion and a smoke cloud that looked suspiciously like a cormorant and the door burst open.

A blue skinned woman wearing a dress that looked like it belonged on an American idol reject pulled herself out of the box. For some reason, she also had a tape deck in her stomach and a microphone growing out of her bellybutton. "Kara-Okay!" she declared loudly to the class.

The professor hustled her over to the side of the room and rubbed his hands together. "And thus, you have a portable and ready-to-go daimon! So, bring your eggs and your items up, and let's see what sort of daimon you've made! And remember, you will be using these for the final next week, so you'd better hope that you get a good one."

Please wait for OOC threads. Up.

Once again, the danger shop had been turned into a dark lab, but this time each desk had a safety burner and a of couple flasks on top of them. Professor Tomoe stood at the front of the class with a large bottle full of some purple liquid and rows and rows of test tubes. Once all the student had taken their seats, the Professor launched into his speech.

"Good afternoon, students! Today we're going to start on the first practical step of the course and actually make daimon eggs."

He patted the jar of purple liquid. "The process itself is fairly simple. You are to take exactly 9.7 mL of this organic compound liquid and carefully add it to an acidic solution. For your benefit, I already mixed up the organic compound last night. If you mix the two improperly, or use the incorrect amount, both the entire mass and beaker will explode in a comedic fashion. If you do it properly, the glass beaker will explode, leaving a daimon egg floating over your heater. The beakers are made out of safety glass, so you should have no worries about cutting yourself on the broken glass shards.

"Since the process is simple enough that even a pop idol obsessed moron can pull it off--" he might have been referring to someone in particular here "--I expect that you will make at least one complete daimon egg for me before the end of class. If you team up with someone, I still expect that each of you will make a daimon egg of your own.

He started filling beakers with acidic solution and passing them out. "And for next week, I want you to start thinking about what sort of attack plan you're going to use."

Please wait for OCD threads. Have at it.

The students had been handwavily sent notes that the Mad Science class would be taking place in the Danger Shop beforehand. Once they arrived, they'd notice that the place had been set up to look like a dark and foreboding laboratory in the basement of a large building. There were desks, but they'd been pushed to the side of the smoke filled room, leaving a foggy space in the middle. A man busied himself with a table full of test tubes at the front of the room.

( Prof Tomoe enjoys making people play Evil Twister. )