Fandom High School

There was absolutely nothing special about the classroom today. Despite, or perhaps because, the fact that this should be their final exam.

"I have no intention of giving you a test today," Sherlock informed them kindly as he typed something into his phone. "If you hadn't realized I have no patience for traditional academia, you have already failed this class. The few of you who have learned something would do best to find a case of their own. The rest... I trust will find solace in whatever celebration for the end of the semester you have planned."

Looking up from his phone finally, Sherlock gave them all a critical once over. "If you must do something, read your classmates. Miss Frost, of course, is at an advantage, but don't let that deter you."

There was a note outside the classroom today, letting the students know to meet in the Danger Shop for class. Someone enjoyed that room a little too much for setting up examples.

"Today we'll be looking into the observation of an unaware subject," Sherlock informed them upon arrival. He possibly definitely gave William a sharp look. Because, really now. Really. "First lesson is that we do not accept drinks from the targets. Especially not ones who have picked up on your presence."

And that would be another look aimed at poor William.

"And if they do give you a drink, you leave because they've seen you," he added with a smile that was nowhere near genuine. "So, today you're all to spread out and attempt to observe one of your classmates without being noticed. I understand this may be a difficult task, but try to blend in."

A beat.

"Even with the hats."

Goddamn Fandom.

Despite the truly horrifying issues with today, Sherlock was in the classroom when it was time for students to filter in. Whether or not this actually meant there would be teaching was up for debate.

He scratched at the truly impressive bite mark on his neck with the sort of frantic energy of one about to explode spectacularly.

"One of you has a pack of cigarettes on them," he ground out, rolling up an already unbuttoned sleeve was practiced ease. The fact that he was so twitchy and out of sorts could possibly be explained by the fact that there were already two nicotine patches affixed to his arm. And now a third was added! Sherlock Holmes lived on the edge of stupidity it would seem. "I will fail you all if I don't get one now."

Why yes, yes he was serious. Aren't you glad you came to class for this?

"Now."

Sherlock was not alone in class today. There was the possibly familiar, much shorter man there with him. John if you really had to get technical.

"We were supposed to discuss the importance of practical knowledge of the human form, but there's apparently laws about allowing minors access to legally obtained body parts," Sherlock said, maybe acting like someone told him there was no Christmas. And not because Santa was murdered.

"So we thought we'd... bring you some slides." John was politely not letting on that perhaps being woken up at five by someone raging about 'ridiculous child protection laws' was not exactly his idea of a good time. Very politely. "Diagrams. That sort of thing. It's always helpful to have a background in this, ah, material. If you're going to be examining bodies."

He didn't rant! It was just a loud, angry soliloquy.

"I don't see how I can be expected to teach anyone properly if they're not broken of their ingrained squeamishness," Sherlock snapped.

"They're children," John shot back, frazzled as he was over having this argument for hours running now. "I'm sure they'll get to that bit in due time, but not now. Can we please move on?"

"Fine," Sherlock smoothed the lapels of his suit, taking a moment to look terribly uppercrust about this. "Enjoy your videos."

John smiled. Kindly. "And it's... nearly the holiday," he said, smoothly, "So we thought we'd bring you some sweets up front." He put down a jar of candies shaped like eyeballs.

... Why yes, he'd selected those as a replacement for the very real eyeballs Sherlock had been trying to smuggle into class earlier. John had eagle eyes.