Fandom High School

"Priorities." They were back in the Danger Shop, because that always ended well. The simulation itself resembled a the edge of large, yet not particularly dense, New Zealand forest with a broad path leading into it. "Heroes cannot deal with them. The world might be about to end, and still they'll stop to rescue farm animals, or mend fences, or pick flowers." Richard.

"So today you have a simple task. Follow this trail through the woods. Not hard."

Cara's class were still in a normal classroom this week, and there were stacks of flashcards on the front desk.

"So I realised I may gotten ahead of myself when talking about sex, when I'm not sure all of you understand flirting." Why yes, she was looking at some of you in particular when she said that. "So I'm going to help you out there by giving you options to choose from. Take a stack, wander the room and try to pick the best option from each card to flirt with each other. Have fun."

Cara's class were once again meeting in the Danger Shop, which was set to the home ec kitchen sim.

"Never drink the purple rum," Cara said, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Also if you believe the stories, heroes only ever eat at victory feasts, which is a good way to keel over the first time you try to pick up a weapon. Which means you get to learn to cook today."

She gestured around the room. "So figure it out."

Cara's class were in the Danger Shop again, which resembled a dorm room, albeit an extremely large one.

"Most of you are showing tolerable progress," she said. "Which means it's time to talk about how complacency will get you just as dead as stupid. It sneaks up on you, you get into a routine, you stop paying attention, you ignore the warnings about recent land shark attacks, and before you know it-"

A knock sounded at the dorm room door. "Can someone get that?"

Class was being held in an ordinary classroom today, with Cara up the front of the room, and unlike last week she did not look particularly happy. Most likely entirely because of last week.

"So, by now you should have figured out that the class could very well be called don't be a suicidal moron," she began with all her usual tact. "Which you'd think would be easy enough, but that doesn't account for the ingenuity of fools. They will always, always have a reason why they have to do the thing regardless of how blindingly obvious a bad idea that is." Richard.

"So today you're going to find a partner, one of you will think up the most stupid thing a person could do, something so clearly clearly and utterly wrong-headed that there is no way anyone could ever decide to do it, and the other will find a way to explain why they, in particular, need to do it, and try to argue each other around. Then swap over."

Cara was actually holding class in Caritas itself today. Though Tino was not on fire. Yet.

"You've told me how you'd think you'd react to one situation, and I've seen how you reacted to another," she said, and she was judging some of you accordingly. "That's because while it's not always the case your initial reaction to something can mean the difference to between life and death, and one of the best ways to tip the balance towards having the right reaction is situational awareness.

"This doesn't just mean being surprised, though ambushes are generally bad for your health." Just ask her how she''d died that one time, or don't because you didn't want to know. "But also knowing your environment. For example, someone familiar with this bar might have responded to Tino's accident like this."

With that Cara took a firm hold of Tino's shirt and took a swing at him, causing them both to vanish. A few minutes later, they both walked back in dripping wet, Tino's teeth chattering as he looked distinctly annoyed.

"Of course, just standing around slack-jawed is also a good way for things to go completely to shit, so if any of you have bright ideas about how to balance that versus going off half-cocked now's the time to speak up."

Cara had her class meet her in a normal classroom because she didn't need to use the Danger Shop yet, and she wasn't quite cruel enough to make tham meet outside in this weather. At least, not for the first class.

"So, heroism, it's a really good way to end up dead." Well, Cara, that wasn't at all a blunt way to start things off. "If you're lucky, you'll be the only dead one, if you're unlucky you'll take a lot of people down with you, and they'll probably be people you like. So let's be clear, the name of the class isn't ironic or sarcastic." You were however, very likely to become familiar with Cara's sense of irony and sarcasm.

"However, since we don't live in a world where sensible people trying to avoid trouble actually suceed at that, you are going to have to learn coping skills for when the island decides to be the island, which is where I come in. But that can wait, since one of the many quirks of the island is the first week is always for introductions. So name, class, your first instinct in a fight. Three questions, no wrong answers."

Only stupid ones.

Given the warm, sunny weather, Cara had her class met her out by the preserve this week.

"One thing about heroic types," she said. "Is their need to make speeches, usually of the inspiring sort, even more so when they want you to do something for them." Not to name names, Richard.

"So today you're all going to practice that. Each of you is going to have a turn at giving a motivating speech, with the aim of getting your fellow classmates to care about something as much as you do. You can pick what that something is, because the whole earnest speech thing seems to work better if you actually believe in what you're saying." Not that she'd heard a lot of these to be able to tell, Richard.

"However, I advise you to keep it snappy, because there's another type of person who loves to listen to themselves talk, especially to a captive audience." She wasn't going to elaborate on how literally she meant captive. "Before anyone gets smart, I don't mean teachers." Odd how that last didn't seem to be directed towards the students.

"Basically, if you manage to attract teal deer with your speech, it's now a monologue and I'm going to start considering venison for dinner."

Cara had told her students to meet her outside the preserve today, so the email that they were instead having class in the salle probably came as relief given teh weather. Especially since there weren't any racks of dresses waiting for them when they arrived.

"So we're going to have class we're we discuss what choices you might make and why. ( Time for another completely hypothetical game of 'What If?' )

Cara had her students meet her at the Danger Shop today, which should've been a warning sign for those who'd taken her last class.

Inside the Danger Shop, there was a large room with four pairs of large boxes against each of the four walls.

"Find a partner," Cara said, without any preamble. "Preferably someone you like. Quickly." After giving them a minute or two to find their partners, she continued. "Everyone pick a pair of boxes, get in, and close the doors."

Once they'd closed the doors, however, each pair would find themselves inside a small, sealed, mostly featureless stone room, with a small stone plinth in one corner holding an hourglass and a note which read 'When the sand runs out so does your air.' on one said and 'Help is coming.' on the other.

Well, clearly, this was going to be a fun class.

Cara had told her students to met her at the Onsen today, where she was already relaxing in the water as she waited for them. When the last student had arrived and gotten changed into more appropriate gear (which the attendants providing swimsuits for anyone who hadn't realised that class being held there meant they should bring theirs), she stood to address them.

Luckily for them, she was wearing slightly more than she usually did when she visited outside of class hours.

( Bath time is the most heroic time. )

Cara had informed her students to meet her in the preserve, where she waited for them in a small clearing. Within the clearing, a basic campsite was set up, with bedrolls placed around a banked fire. Given the cosy set up, it was entirely possible she was going to teach them about making camp in the wilderness.

( Spoiler, she's not. )

Cara had not set the Danger Shop up to resemble the preserve again today, huzzah!

Upon entering students might have noticed the large room, with its walls of sandstone and comfortable looking sofas scattered around, they might have noticed the bar with its wooden kegs and metal flasks, they might have noticed the tasteful silk hangings bordering doors and... artistic murals. But what they probably noticed was the number of highly attractive women (and men) wearing clothes that ranged from low-cut to scandalous to barely existent to requiring impressive feats of engineering not to fall off in a stiff breeze.

"Now it may happen that in the course of your heroing you'll need to conduct a manhunt," Cara said, looking suspiciously like the cat that'd gotten the canary in cream. "When your quarry is male, almost invariably your first and last stop on this chase will be the nearest brothel." Just in case there were any doubts about where exactly class was taking place today.

"Even on the exceedingly off chance you don't find your man," Cara's tone made it clear how likely she thought that wasn't. "Places like these are invaluable sources of local gossip and information because an astounding number of people loose all sense of discretion the moment sex is on the table."

"Today you have to charm the whereabouts of a miscreant you're chasing out of one of these lovely persons of negotiable virtue." Cara told them. "And I mean charm, anyone making trouble is liable to be tossed out on their ear. If they're lucky."

Cara had her class meet her out by the preserve, because she saw no reason to use the Danger Shop when she didn't need any of its more interesting features. Yet.

"My name is Cara," she said, after waiting what she considered a reasonable amount of time for any stragglers. "This class is 'Want to be a Hero?' and I hope you all actually read the description instead of just the name because otherwise you may be disappointed, which would be a terrible shame." She thought about asking for a show of hands on the matter, but she suspected that would just disappoint her.

"Let me be clear," Cara drawled. "This is not a class about learning to throw your life away in some useless, idiotic romantic fashion which accomplishes nothing, because even if there is such a thing as heroes in any world, the vast majority of people aren't, and even the ones that aren't actively malicious are often unable or unwilling to help more than a few others in any meaningful fashion. This class is about drumming enough skills and sense into that if you do happen too find yourself in some kind of situation where the fate of the world rests in your hands, you'll actually manage to do something effective about that, and that even if you do die you'll accomplish something in the process."

"Now, you're probably all sick of introductions at this point, but apparently I'm not allowed to call students 'hey, you' until I learn their names you have one more round of them before forgetting about them for the next few months," Cara said. "I want your names, why you signed up for this, and what exactly you think being a hero means. That'll give me an idea of what exactly I'm dealing with here."

"One final thing to keep in mind, Surreal over there is my lovely and charming assistant." Tellingly, any sarcasm there was on the word 'assistant'. "I trust her to have more common sense than any of you, so listen to anything she has to say."