Fandom High School

As they walked into the class, Rimmer actually looked rather... rather emotional.

"This is, as you should all know, my very last class with you. I am sure that you will all miss me, that you will lament those moments when you doubted me, or drew on me with a permanent marker, or laughed behind my back and thought I couldn't see because yes, I did see that and you know who you are."

He breathed in after that.

"But today, we face the worst enemy you will ever possibly come up against, the most repugnant, the most terrible:"

He leaped over to one side of the room and revealed video monitors, each one with a face that should look familiar: it was his students. Well, it was a version of his students. Each of them in the monitor had some sort of terrible new feature, most of them were either overweight or their clothing was hideous, and at least one was sporting a rather pointless toupee.

"Yourselves! In the future!"

[ocd coming up!]

"Good news, class," he announced as soon as they were all in. If anyone was wondering how there could be good news, it would be revealed in just a few moments. Yes, from Rimmer.

Careful and watch your heart monitors, folks.

"Today's scheduled class, a meeting with a thankfully holographic Inquisitor, will, due to last weeks horrifying nightmare of an experience, be postponed indefinitely. In fact, pretend I never mentioned it... unless, say, you happen to wake up one night to see a skull-like face looming over you insisting you justify your existence."

...

"Something like that. Anyway, today we'll be covering pleasure GELFs and I've even been so good as to provide you your own room for a touch of privacy."

Behind him, in fact, there were a number of doors, the exact number as there were students.

"This is to prepare you for dealing with such a creature should you meet them in the future, so that you're prepared. Attempt to sleep with the one you find here, however, and it will turn into a rather confused marsupial. Which one has been entirely left to choice, so good luck with that."

[ocd up!]

Rimmer looked unpleasantly cheerful this morning as the students came in to sit at their desks.

"Well, class, today it seems we'll be doing a theoretical lesson concerning a creature called a 'polymorph'. Other forms, such as the 'emohawk' used by the Kinitawowi, can be quite troublesome as well, but there's really nothing like a wild polymorph.

"They can appear to be anything, from a rubber ball to a screaming hellbeast from the sewers, but most importantly, they act to bring about an especially strong emotional response which they then feed off of and subsequently remove from the victim until the polymorph is destroyed.

"So today, we will be cataloging our strongest, most vulnerable emotions and how we might be able to cope without them."

...worry, he's still smirking.

[ocd up!] [for info on a polymorph, check out here]

A fresh new semester, a fresh new batch of cadets students victims students for him to teach...

Rimmer's holographic heart almost swelled out of his holographic chest as he waited in the Danger Shop for his class to arrive. Their syllabuse--syllaba--the many copies of their syllabus that he'd made were laid out on the desks, carefully checked to make sure that there would be no mentions of fish or him being one for at least an entire class.

As soon as his students arrived, he turned on the little display at the back to simulate being on the 'Dwarf.

"Good day, children," he began, nostrils flaring with glee, "and welcome to Surviving Deep Space."

...first person to mention that it was being taught by a dead guy would probably be screamed at.

[Class Roster and Syllabus]