Fandom High School

Students entering class today expecting a final exam might be surprised to find their teacher lurking behind her desk in a tri-cornered hat and a jaunty long coat, sporting an eyepatch and pointing her cannon right at them.

On the other hand, having spent a semester with this teacher already, perhaps they wouldn't be surprised at all.

"ARR YE MATEYS!" Pinkie yowled. "IT BE OUR LAST CLASS OF THE SEMESTER, WHICH MAKES ME WANT TER CRY! SO INSTEAD O' CRYIN', I BE DECIDIN' THAT TODAY WE BE HAVIN' A PIRATE PARTY!"

As you do.

"DON YER PIRATEY HATS AND EYEPATCHES, AND HELP ME AIM THIS HERE PARTY CANNON AT THE NEAREST BOUNTY TO BE RAIDED, ARRR!" And Pinkie leaped onto the cannon, riding it like a skateboard out into the hall, improbably steering it around corners and possibly stairs, down onto the school lawn. "ARRRRRRRRRR!"

Yep, that's right, the last day of Model United Nations class involved raiding other sovereign territories. Or classes. Or offices. Or businesses. Or dorm rooms. Or at least the lawn.

HAVE AT YE.

[ooc: please to be only raiding outside of the school lawn with OOC permission, first, yis.]

Pinkie screeched into the classroom slightly late, today, her bad-dye-jobbed mane flying.

"Hi!" she squeaked, waving one hoof at the we assume room full of strange hairless bear like creatures and occasional cats. "Sorry I'm late, I had noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo idea I was a teacher. That doesn't even seem like me at all! I mean, I guess maybe teaching rock farming or parties or something -- have you guys ever had a party? They're amazing -- but the little reminder thingy on this little box thingy --" her phone "-- says this is 'Model United Nations'. And you know, I couldn't find any models anywhere!"

She flung the door back open and dragged in a whole table covered in newspaper strips and papermache and cardboard and paint and glitter.

"So we better get making one! I'm looking forward to making my model of Equestria. I can make Ponyville and Cloudsdale and Fillydelphia and Las Pegasus and Manehattan and Baltimare and . . ."

This list might go on for awhile. You all should just get started on your nation models.

"So we spend a lot of time in the United Nations talking about the sad, dark, gloomy stuff. Which is important! That stuff needs to be solved, and the United Nations is all about problem solving! But isn't the happy, sunshiny, fun stuff important, too?

"Today, instead of arguing about the gloomy, I want to celebrate the fun! Let's talk about some nice stuff that's happening around the worlds. Right now back home in Equestria, for instance, ponies all over are preparing for their annual Hearth's Warming Eve pageants, celebrating how ponies discovered the true power of friendship and kindness even in the middle of dark, cold, angry times. And right here in Fandom, friends will be getting together tonight to have a drink and talk and share their weeks with each other! Isn't that nice?

"I want each of you to tell us one nice thing that's happening in your world, or this world, or some other world, or even your own personal world. You can tell more than one nice thing if you like, too, but let's all be happy today! Yay!"

Pinkie was antsy, today. She had a party to help throw tonight, for one of her favoritest holidays, and she was anxious to get started.

Which might explain how it had bled into her class, this morning.

"Hi everypony! In Equestria, we have a super fun holiday this time of year called 'Nightmare Night', and it turns out, here on Earth, many cultures also have a similar holiday called 'Hollerweenie'!" She was never going to get that name right. It wasn't even a real word! "So I thought today it'd be super fun to celebrate! We have bobbing for apples and fling the spider on the spider web and lots of candy and masks you can decorate with feathers and sparkles and things! So everyone relax and have fun!"

"Hiya, everypony!" Pinkie greeted as the students filed in, today seated behind a very large, very official looking desk with a microphone on it. She wore a pair of glasses with thick-black rims low on her nose, peering at everyone like an irritated librarian from a children's novel. On either side of the desk were two podiums, both also with microphones. "I thought we'd try something a little bit different, today. There've been these neat things on the television lately called 'debates', in which three people get in a big room behind desks and podiums and one of them asks questions and the other two YELL AT EACH OTHER! Doesn't that sound like fun?" Pinkie slammed her hoof on the desk for emphasis. It reverberated in a way wood probably shouldn't. "So I've partnered you all up! I'm going to ask pair a very important question, and then we can all get yelling!"

Students today would enter into an empty classroom -- well, empty of the pink pony who was usually there to greet them, anyway. Right around the time that they might start discussing the validity of the 15 minute rule*, the door opened and admitted Pinkie, moving at a full gallop and making panicky noises.

"No time to discuss fun nation facts today, everypony!" she cried. "We have a crisis!" She stopped in place, her hooves still wildly moving. "GLOBAL FOOD CRISIS! If we don't solve it today, everypony will starve! And that's not all! Denmark has declared war on Peru, Finland traded away its entire infrastructure in return for lions, and South Africa has claimed dominion over the moon! Or possibly the other way around!

"What do we do, class?" Pinkie sobbed. "What do we do-oo-oo-oo-oo?"

* The theory being that if the teacher hasn't arrived within 15 minutes of the start of class, then it's cancelled and you can all leave

[OCD is up!]

"Welcome back, everypony!" Pinkie greeted as usual when it was time for class to begin. "I hope you all had loads of fun this week! I hear some of you even got to visit the United States of Girls over the weekend!

"But let's get right to it, today! First off, let's all take a moment to talk about some of our nations' enemies. In Equestria, we don't have too many of these. Mostly, we just have to worry about random monsters, like Cerberus, guardian of the Underworld. But sometimes, we have to deal with ponies who get themselves into trouble, like when Princess Luna let herself get too jealous of her big sister Celestia and turned into Nightmare Moon, who wanted to make it nighttime forever. Now you!"

When that was all done with, Pinkie settled into her Serious Grand Pooh-Bah pose. "Now on to business! It seems the nation of New York has been talking about banning soda pop. Clearly, this is a violation of their citizens' rights! Should we invade them?"

The classroom didn't look like anything really special yet. The chairs were all arranged around in a wide circle, so that everypony could face everypony else, and each desk had a nice little blank name-plate and empty flag holder, all ready for the students to come and fill with their hopes, dreams, names, and knowledge of whatever country they've chosen to represent. Pinkie's desk already had "Pinkie Pie: Equestria" written on the name plate, and a tiny little Equestrian flag flying proudly. She waited patiently -- well, as patient as a manic pink party pony can be anyway, which isn't very -- while the students shuffled in and took their seats.

"Welcome, everypony to Model United Nations, the class all about working together to support each other and to solve the problems of the multiverse! We're going to get started with an easy problem for you, today: we can't start solving the multiverse's problems through teamwork and friendship until we know who everypony is! As the representative of Equestria and the official Grand Poo-Bah of this Model United Nations --" Shut up, the facilitator was TOTALLY the Grand Poo-Bah, "-- I would like to propose that we solve this problem by introducing ourselves and picking which country, nation, or otherwise independently governed geographical or metaphysical region we're representing! All those in favor, say 'yippeee!'"

You'd best yippeee, or this Grand Poo-Bah was going to make an executive order and make you all follow her suggestion, anyway. In the spirit of teamwork and friendship, of course.

"Oooo, and then we can all make flags. I brought crayons and glitter!"

Hopes, dreams, names, knowledge of whatever country they'd chosen to represent, and glitter. These were the foundations of multiverse peace.