fandomhigh | Entries tagged with fighting

Well, class, it seemed like it was time for practical applications of what had been taught so far as the danger shop was done up to look like a bar.

Possibly a tavern even.

"So, today were going to try out what you've learned," Jane said over the ambient bar noise.

Which would explain why NPCakin behind the bar looked so nervous. "For some unknown reason, one of the likeliest places for a spontaneous fight to break out is a tavern just like this."

"We are not condoning bar fights on vacation next week," Jane added firmly. Well. She wasn't.

"Not starting them, at least." If one happened to start up while you were there on the other hand... A very important distinction!

"So, let's get you started in a nice, safe environment for it," Jane said, pushing a bar stool over to somehow just set the whole place off.

Oh, look, someone had already flung NPCakin across the room. A new record!

wrongkindofsith

The first class of the semester was in the Danger Shop as it was the best place for subjects like this. Also because it allowed the teachers to more easily set up a little punch bag area for each student.

"Hi!" Jane said with a smile as the class filed on in. "Welcome to Ass-Kicking 101. I'm Dr. Jane Foster."

"I'm Cara," Cara said, with the air of a woman who'd been woken by squirrels in the small hours. "We hit things, we're very good at it."

"And we'd like to hear about you guys too," Jane said. "Your names, your experience in the subject, what you want to learn here..."

"Then you can punch the bags so we can see if you're lying." Tact, Cara, it was a thing you were capable of.

Jane winced, but really couldn't fault it too much. "I brought donuts since it's our first day," she added.

wrongkindofsith

The glasses were all put up in the tavern in honor of the last class of the semester. Or because they couldn't help but program the bartender to act like a real bartender in the face of all that punching.

"Today is our last class together," Jaskier said with theatrical solemnity. "Unless you take our class in the summer, of course."

Oh, Cara could never escape him.

She could try, but alas, it seemed the one thing she was destined to fail at. "Which means it's time to see just how much you've learnt."

"And we have so very much enjoyed our time with you and would like to celebrate the occasion with--oh no, why is he putting up the alcohol now?" Someone didn't tell Jaskier what the plan really was.

He mightn't have turned up if she'd done that. "We're going to have a good, old-fashioned free for all, and I do mean all," Cara said with a grin

"Oh. Oh, you're just mean." Why was he so into that?

Cara did not know why, and she didn't need to know. "Be gentle," she said, as she went to shove Jaskier into the fray. "He's delicate."

wrongkindofsith

The class was back in the trusty, reliable inn simulation. "It's possible that some of you are processing some feelings after last weekend." Like relief you hadn't had a child with your co-teacher. "Punching can help with that."

Punching and repression, two great tastes...

Jaskier just sneezed because someone shoved him into a pond. And he was such a delicate flower. "So much needs to be repressed from it," he agreed. "I usually suggest alcohol, personally."

Jaskier, no.

"Luckily, you can even combine the two."

CARA, NO.

"You can!" Jaskier agreed. But hopefully it was because he was on cold medicines.

Spoilers: it wasn't.

These were the teachers, folks. These two right here.

Cara would have you know she was a paragon of educational excellence compared to some of the teachers when she was a student here. "In case you haven't figured it out already, it's time for a barfight."

With that, Jaskier shamelessly slunk behind the bat to hide as an NPC tavern goer hurled a chair.

wrongkindofsith

The tavern today was set up as usual with Jaskier hiding a bit behind the bar. Just in case.

"Welcome, welcome! So glad to have you back!" He proclaimed.

"Today we'll be moving onto a more advanced kind of punching," Cara said. "Punching with your feet." Or kicking as she liked to call it when she wasn't winding people up.

"Kicking," Jaskier added quickly. "She means kicking. Which is why I am over here."

Had he been kicked in planning this class? Possibly.

He said that like she'd kicked him hard, or in any especially sensitive areas. "Now, there are almost as many ways of kicking as there are of punching, but the one with most reliable results involves your knee and the other person's crotch."

See, Jaskier, it could always be worse! So much worse!

Jaskier winced and immediately went to cover himself. "We have dummies to try it out on?"

"And remember, despite what you may think, it can work just as well on women as men."

Jaskier nodded sagely at that. "So! Let's begin, shall we?"

He was still hiding behind the bar.

wrongkindofsith

The first thing the class would have noticed when they entered the tavern was that it was very, very loud. Even more so than usual. This was because, Cara, relieved that the island had not pulled any of tricks over the weekend, and in a decision she'd soon come to regret had agreed to let Jaskier have a little music, as a treat.

Which, of course, meant a concert! A very loud, very raucous concert. He gave Cara a thumbs up, keeping the NPC crowd singing along. Programming your perfect audience was such fun, you know.

"The thing about fighting in the real world as opposed to training and sparring is that other people tend not to respect your need for focus and lack of distractions," Cara said, not as dryly as she'd hoped given she had to raise her voice to be heard.

At the back of that crowd of concert goers, two of the programmed people bumped into each other and started pushing one another in a clear beginning of a fight. But oh, the concert went on.

Cara didn't bat an eyelid as the pushing turned into shoving. "Consider it a test of your situational awareness," she said, as the test started drifting towards them. "And how well you accomplish tasks with a distraction."

Which meant that little tussle was spilling over into more of the crowd and toward the students now. So. Have fun, kiiiiids.

ohvalleyofpenis

Class was not meeting in the Danger Shop today, class was meeting out the front of the school, where Cara looked genuinely cheerful.

"We're actually using a loose definition of punching for this class, more of a with the right attitude anything can be a punch philosophy." Which was really the only kind worth engaging with, really.

"A snowball fight," Jaskier explained with an expressive little hand gesture on the subject. "Which can be quite ruthless depending on your cohorts."

Did he side eye Cara at that? Yes. Definitely.

Cara did not care that she was being side-eyed. Cara was patting a snowball into shape with evident glee. "Think of it as like punching with snow. From a distance. Though it doesn't have to be a great distance." On a completely related note, how far away was Jaskeir standing from her?

Because it wasn't far. So, you know. As an example...

On the bright side, that meant Cara wouldn't have to throw it very hard? "You have five minutes to figure out any strategies, alliances or defensive plans, then it's a free for all. Starting now."

Then she threw the snowball at Jaskier.

wrongkindofsith

When the class filed into the Danger Shop one of your teachers was wearing a grump expression and a pretty blue dress, the latter had a lot to do with the former. "Unfortunately, some problems, especially on this island, cannot be solved by hitting things. Believe me, I've tried."

And, for a moment there, Jaskier was a bird who was in complete agreement with that statement. Welcome to One Of Those Days here, folks. Wasn't it just fun?

"Luckily today's nonsense seems to only pose a danger to your dignity." Cara was tired, so very, very tired of this island sometimes. "But since even that may prove a barrier to effective learning, today we're going to focus on the value of violence as stress relief."

That explained the giant inflatble gremlin then.

"Oh, Melitele's tits," Jaskier gasped once he was back to being human again. "I'll even take a swing today."

Cara, whose pretty blue dress had turned into a frothy pink monstrosity, patted him on the shoulder in vague sympathy. "Hitting things makes you feel better."

wrongkindofsith

Was Cara looking especially smug as the class filed into the Dangershop, set up with their trusty bar sim, albeit with the furniture moved to the sides and a punching bag set up? Yes. She totally was.

"Not even just a bit of singing?" Jaskier wheedled. Because it was his life blood! Also, he was the damsel in distress, not the fighter in this story and everyone knew it.

No doubt even people who weren't even in this class knew it. "Fine. If we need a soundtrack for anything," Cara replied under her breath, already regretting it as she raised her voice. "Welcome to 'ALL PUNCH', which because this place always needs clarifying is about learning to punch."

"And not breaking something important in your hand," Jaskier added as it was one of the only things he could contribute to a fight. That and hiding under a table.

"Which is something we'll be covering today," Cara said. "Because in addition to the normal introductions you should've realised by now that you'll be making, we'll also be introducing you to making a proper fist."

Which left Jaskier pointing directly at Cara for that part. You know. In case anyone was confused about the punchy gal here.

Cara sighed, audibly, and held her hands up, curling them into fists. "As you can see, my thumb is outside my fingers and my wrist is straight, both of these reduce the chances of hurting yourself more than whatever you're trying to hit."

"Now!" Jaskier said, clapping his hands together. "Let's all give it a go, shall we?"

"Yes," Cara said, grinning at Jaskier. "In turn you're going into come up, introduce yourself, for example, I'm Cara, show me you can make a proper fist, then give the bag your best punch. Starting with Jaskier."

"Oh gods, no." This would end poorly, class.

seveninchmotto

The last session was being held in a normal classroom. No weapons in sight - but, there were a bunch of feather boas, again, on the teacher's desk at the front of the class. Yes.

And Isabelle perched on the edge of the desk. "So, we meet for the last time," she said. "And we're ending this on a discussion. I want to hear what your thoughts are on fighting and fabulousity? Do you think there's any reason for the two to mix at all? Is it necessary or even smart to aim at being fabulous when mortal peril might be involved?"

She shrugged. "For my part, looking good is very important to me just in general. And because of that, it's very natural for me to mix the two, because knowing I look great adds a sliver of confidence. I'm not saying I need it. But I enjoy it, all the same."

It made hunting demons in the sewers a little more bearable, for one.

"Oh, and once we're done, you can all grab yourselves a feather boa. The administration told me I couldn't give you weapons. Apparently it's frowned upon." A beat. "So if anyone's interested in getting a nice blade, talk to me after class."

seveninchmotto

Isabelle clasped her hands together once everyone had filed in. They were in the Danger Shop, although it was set up to look more like a home ec classroom. There were sinks and stovetops – and a rack with feather boas on it. There were twice the number of students of them, and half of them were clean, half of them dirty.

"Today, we'll continue on from last week," Isabelle began. "Sometimes, you have to fight in a feather boa." If you were Isabelle, anyway. YMMV, otherwise. "And sometimes, that may mean you might get all sorts of disgusting gunk on it. Slime, ichor, whatever. And that's when you need to learn how to clean the damn thing, because you can't let a good accessory go to waste just because a monster decided to spill its guts on it."

She lived an interesting life.

"So, we'll do this in two parts. First, you'll each pick a dirty feather boa and wash it. Once you hang that one up to dry, you can grab a clean, dry one, and practice re-fluffing its feathers with steam. I'll talk you through it more throughly as we get started, but now, grab your boas."

Not dirty.

seveninchmotto

"First off, apologies about last week," Isabelle began as everyone had come in. "My other job back in New York kept me away for an emergency. I have no idea what the guidance counselor showed to you ––" Sarah's note had not been very helpful. "–– but I hope it was at least fun, if nothing else."

Well, she knew how this school worked with 'sudden lack of teacher' situations.

"Anyway, now that we're all here, time to get back to business." They were in the Danger Shop once more, this time standing in a hallway in front of a giant wooden door. Next to the door, there was a table with their famliar chosen weapons from the first lesson laid out on it.

(And next to it was another table, with something else. But they'd get to that.)

Isabelle was smirking. "This time, it's time for you to kick some ass." She gestured at the door. "Through here, you'll enter a simulation where you'll face a monster. You'll be armed with only what you chose in the first class ––" Sorry, Eric! "–– but, the monster will be in proportion to whatever weapon you chose. No one's going in on a fully impossible mission." As much as that was a good lesson for some, sometimes. "However, if you still want to change your weapon, you can talk to me about it. I'll decide on a case-by-case basis."

She gestured at the table. "Now, pick up your weapons." Then she gestured at the other table. "And your feather boas."

... Yes, she said that with a straight face. And yes, there was a tableful of ~~moddable!~~ feather boas. And yes, she absolutely was going to make them wear them for this assignment.

"Now, who wants to go first?"

electrocynic

No Isabelle this week. Instead, Electroclash was standing at the front of the classroom when the students came in.

"Your regular teacher can't be here today ––" Something about 'urgent demon matters', which she wasn't going to repeat here. "–– and I can't be arsed to actually teach you anything, so, you get a movie day."

What, like she was going to sugarcoat it.

She just pressed play.

seveninchmotto

The Danger Shop was a mall today: a mall that was all clothing stores in a vast array of styles. And class was meeting by an escalator, where Isabelle was standing next to a table. On the table were items that the students were going to find familiar.

"Everyone, pick up the weapons from our first class together," Isabelle said, gesturing at the weapons in question. "Today, we're going shopping."

Spoken like someone who loved shopping, and expected them to feel the same.

"Specifically, you're all going go around the mall and assemble outfits that are both stylis and also convenient for concealing whatever weapon you picked. And ––" She held up a finger. "–– before anyone complains about this putting some of you at a disadvantage because your weapons may be harder to conceal... Tough. That's part of the lesson." And she wasn't saying that unkindly. It genuinely was part of the lesson. "Sometimes you have to work around disadvantages, because life is not fair, and it's even less so when it comes to any meaningful form of fighting. So, best learn to live with it."

She'd been serious for a second there.

So, time for a smirk: "Now, off you go. Shop!"

seveninchmotto

This week, they were meeting in a regular class room, where Isabelle was perched on the edge of the teacher's desk. She would've felt weird behind it, like she was the Consul or he Inquisitor or something.

She gave them a little wave. "Hi, and welcome back. Next week, we'll be getting to some of the meatier parts of this workshop, but today, I want to continue on from last week. Last week, you picked some weapons. This week, we'll talk about what it means to be fabulous."

Which was a philosophical conversation Isabelle had been born to have.

"I have my own view on that, but I want to hear what you think," she continued. "Also, if you came to this class for the 'fighting' part in the name and don't actually know what fabulous means, this is a great time to find out. Don't hesitate to comment on each other, too. If this goes in too orderly a fashion, I'll feel like I failed something."

She was probably joking about that. She gave them a smile, then pointed to a student at random.

"You go first. What does 'fabulous' mean to you?"

seveninchmotto

The class was meeting in the Danger Shop, which had been programmed to look like something reminiscent of the inside of a Gothic stone cathedral - with the exception that everywhere there were sturdy shelves with rows upon rows of different kinds of weapons on them.

And in the middle of it all, Isabelle Lightwood in a fabulous dress, with something silver coiled around her waist. Possibly a fashionable belt. Those that had something supernatural in them could also probably see that there were several black rune tattoos on her arms and the back of her right hand, and other spots on her arms were criss-crossed with faint silvery scars. "Hello, and congratulations on your good taste in classes," she told the students once everyone seemed to have shown up. Or she got bored of waiting. "This is Fighting and Fabulousity, and I'm Isabelle Lightwood, your guide throughout this workshop. I'm from New York, but graduated from Fandom High two years ago, so, expect me to be very aware of how this island functions."

Especially when it came to fighting.

"Now, because this is our first session and I don't feel like breaking tradition, so we'll be doing introductions. You'll each pick a weapon, any weapon that draws your interest, from anywhere on these shelves ––" She gestured around. So many weapons. "–– and then you'll tell us who you are, why you chose what you chose." She held up a finger. "I'll demonstrate."

She lowered her hand, and with seemingly just a little flick of her wrist, the silver coil from around her waist was in her hand: a long, silvery, metallic whip. "As I said before, I'm Isabelle Lightwood – feel free to just call me Isabelle – and this is my electrum whip. It's my favorite weapon, because it's very versatile. And also because it takes skill and practice to master." She paused for a beat, then smirked impishly. "It also looks cool."

She nodded, then gestured once more towards the shelves.

"Now, pick your weapons, and let's get started."

[ooc: OCD up, have at!]

atreideslioness

Given what had happened in the Danger Shop yesterday, Ghanima had requested the students meet in one of the regular classrooms. Desks and chairs had been removed in favor of oversized pillows and beanbags, blankets, and a small table by the door had been set up with a tea service, coffee, and hot chocolate.

Ghanima had already claimed a seat on the floor, sipping at a tea that wasn't available to the students, as she was still carefully balancing and replentishing the Spice levels in her body after last week.

"The last week has been trying for many people, in many different ways," she said simply, once the majority of students had arrived and gotten comfortable. "And, perhaps, educational."

"I'd like for you to share something you've learned this semester. If you are not feeling up for discussion, then please listen attentively to your classmates, and weigh what they have to say against your own experiences."

atreideslioness

Very, very rarely did Ghanima wish she had the innate, powerful, prescient talents of her brother or father. She had seen growing up what that sort of wishing had done to Alia, and that was not a path she wished to take. Her own, modest abilities were more than she wished or needed, most days. She was Sayyadina, and that was more important to her than all the visions the Golden Path could offer.

Today, however, she had the beginnings of a prescient migraine, some of her Tau voices were screeching at her, and her Dune Tarot had been infuriatingly chaotic and unreadable. She would not risk the Spice trance again, not yet, but it was more than enough to make her change her lesson plans.

"You've seen a lot of things that are terrible ideas over the last few weeks," she said, once everyone had gathered. "But today we are going to learn how to do things properly. We're going to learn some basic self-defense moves."

atreideslioness

"Let's try this again," Ghanima said crisply once the students had arrived in the Danger Shop. She was steadfastly ignoring the chickens that kept popping in-and-out of existence around the edges of the room. "Last week, you saw how charging blindly into a situation and swinging wildly was a terrible idea. A plethora of mistakes were made, to say the least, but there's a number of reasons a plan could fall apart, and you should never panic. Panic is what will loose you the battle and the war."

"Sometimes, your plan comes apart because of people like Mr. Jenkins. Maybe you tried to keep your simple plan a secret to guarantee success, but someone didn't react as you thought they would, or their motives changed, rendering your plan inept. Maybe your leaders overlooked something, or thought they could adapt faster than the plan deteriorated. Or perhaps you never had a plan to start with."

"Today, you will learn how to plan on the fly." Ghanima gestured to the chess boards and decks of cards set up around the room. "There's directions at each table, if you've never played, and I am happy to assist if you need further explanation. But no matter how your 'fight' goes, do not panic."

atreideslioness

"Today," Ghanima said, once everyone had arrived in the Danger Shop, which today was set up to resemble some sort of castle. "We're going to talk about swords and other sharp melee items."

She started to pick up a sword from the table and the Danger Shop-- wavered. Ghanima paused, more than slightly concerned. This was why she didn't like thinking machines. When all that happened was a few chickens popping in to existence to run around, she sighed and picked the sword back up. "Now, the main thing to keep in mind is that the pointy end--"

"LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEROY JEEEEEEEEENKINS!" a voice yelled, and straight past everyone ran a man in armor, quickly followed by a group in matching tabards. They all ran through the room the class was in and in to the next...which was apparently filled with monsters.

The chickens, being sensible creatures, ran in the opposite direction.

"Or that," Ghanima said dryly after a moment. "That's our lesson today. Don't do that."

atreideslioness

"I apologize for not being here last week," Ghanima said once the class had assembled in the Danger Shop. "I had...family things which I had to attend to."

"Today, we are going to discuss the pros and cons of trying to include dancing into your fighting style."

"Being naturally graceful does not always translate to graceful fighting," Ghanima said, sitting down on the floor to begin stretching and warming up. "Hand-to-hand combat is often brutal, short, and wonderfully violent."

"There are styles that incorporate dance, such as Capoeira, or there's the drunken boxing. Some fights may even look like ballet, tango, syncronized like the DDR game at the arcade, or other dance.

"So everyone stretch out, today I'm going to teach you some basic tango steps."

atreideslioness

"Not all fighting is done with external weapons," Ghanima said, once everyone showed up to the Danger Shop. It was once again set-up for movie day. Lucky students. "In many universes, and especially here in Fandom, many people have powers beyond that of the average human. And sometimes, you have to use those powers to fight."

Fandom did like its invasions, after all.

"You should never, however, only relay on your powers -- if you have them -- to get you out of a situation. Or sometimes, they can fail you completely. Today, we're going to watch Y-Men: Catastrophe."

"Grab some popcorn, and feel free to throw it at the screen any time someone does something that we've covered as being a Bad Idea."

atreideslioness

Today the Danger Shop was set-up for racing. Sort of.

"Welcome back, and hopefully you all had a good weekend," Ghanima said. "Today, we look at driving a vechile while in combat."

"This is yet another popular theme in many forms of entertainment, and yet again, almost utterly impossible unless you can abuse physics or probability. Now, there's a number of phrases for this sort of combat," Ghanima continued. "Car Fu, which uses the car as a weapon. There's mounted combat, on a horse or similar animal, and that creature is NOT going to stand still calmly like in the movies. Not to mention the improbable aiming you'd need to be doing since you're in motion."

"But for even those of you who consider yourselves to be badass drivers, burning rubber isn't going to get you out of the fight alive. The car will not escape without a scratch on it, and shooting the fuel tank does not work."

"We have a few options for you today: we have bumper cars and little Nerf weapons. You can try and drive and shoot, or have -- or be -- a getaway driver. Safety protocols are engaged, so you won't be able to flip the cars, no matter how hard you try. Which is not an invitation to try."

atreideslioness

"Since we're in the week before Homecoming, we're going to refrain from any serious attempts at combat because some of you may already be distracted," Ghanima said once everyone had arrived. "Instead, we're going to talk about banter."

"For some reason, fiction has popularized the idea that when two or more people are fighting, they're also engaged in witty banter or volleying insults or, perhaps, having a discussion on fighting technique, the meaning of life, what they had for lunch, or some other quip. The purpose is, theoretically, to distract or upset your adversary and allow you to gain the upper hand. I will confess that I personally do not understand the urge to banter during combat," Ghanima stated. "In my opinion, silence will do more to unnerve your opponent than any blithe quips."

Banter with Leto, of course, and sometimes even during sparring, but not during a real fight with someone other than her brother. She was more the type to stab someone in the back or with poison them with a blow-dart. Details.

"To show you how difficult it is to think up witty banter and fight at the same time, you all get ~~soft foam~~ Nerf swords, and I want you all to find a partner and try talking and fighting at the same time. If you aren't comfortable trying to hit someone, try knocking something off their head or out of their hand while moving and talking," Ghanima suggested. "Some of you seem to prefer non-lethal blows, and the coordination required to pull your hits accordingly is difficult in a best-case situation. When dividing your focus between combat and unnecessary verbosity? It can become downright impossible."

"Feel free to run, dodge, use your classmates as shields...whatever you need to do while trying to banter and fight at the same time."

atreideslioness

When the students arrived today, they'd find the Danger Shop filled with couches, large pillows, blankets, and a popcorn machine.

"Movie day!" Ghanima said cheerfully, once she was sure most of the students had arrived. "I am rather sure that with Family Weekend looming, half of you wouldn't be paying attention to a lecture anyway, and so for safety's sake, we shall instead partake of an example of combat so ridiculous, that this program should have been marketed as a comedy."

"Enjoy Superpurple."

atreideslioness

Once again, the Danger Shop was a gym, this time with mats covering the floor.

"Some fights have rules, such as jousting or a official duel," Ghanima said once everyone had arrived. "Real fights don't. But a lot of people will still fight as though there are rules and that combat can somehow be civilized." Ghanima smiled sweetly. "We call those people 'suckers.'"

"You and an opponent could say no hair-pulling, or no knives, or no back-up. That the fight is to the first touch or first blood and no farther. But the second that your opponent decides winning is more important than the rules, it's no longer a spar or a duel, but a fight. If you want to win -- if you want to survive a fight -- you must always assume that can happen, and sometimes, it must be you that breaks the 'rules' of combat."

"Even those of you prone to non-violence whenever possible can utilize this," she continued. "Throw sand in someone's eyes. Yell 'look over there,' and pull down their pants or throw a coat over their head and run away. Being practical and breaking the unwritten rules of 'honorable' combat is sometimes the best way to get out of a fight before the violence really begins."

atreideslioness

After ~~handwavily~~ informing class to dress in clothing they didn’t mind getting dirty and to meet up in the danger shop, they were greeted by the most awesome of all things:

Paintball. Enough paintball guns of different sizes and shapes for everyone to have two, even.

"Now, we have a couple things to cover, since most people seem to learn how to use firearms from television and not actual instruction," Ghanima said. "Such as there is no such thing as a bottomless magazine - you always need to reload - and it's nearly impossible to walk, let alone run and fire a weapon with any accuracy. Learn poison instead," Ghanima suggested. "...Which is not this class."

Yet. Sadly.

"Holding your gun sideways does nothing but throw off your aim unless you’ve spent all your time practicing it just like that. If you have been practicing that, there are better things you should be spending your time on." Not that Ghanima was biased or anything, except that she was. "And unless you’re not firing real guns or have the right amount of upper body strength to deal with the Mexican stand off that will come from it, don’t use two guns at once. It merely doubles your chances of missing entirely or causing collateral damage."

"Not to mention the sheer number of movies that teach you people how to use firearms fails gun safety forever," she continued. "And you cannot just 'aim to wound' or blast a gun out of someone's hand without injuring them. There's also no such thing as a flesh wound in real life. There's no 'safe' place to shoot a person, not even in a seemingly non-vital extremity like a leg or arm. So don't try it, you'll just feel guilty when you fail."

"So today, you get to have fun and not worry about any of that, or you can try and practice proper firing techniques." With one smooth motion, Ghanima pulled a small paintgun from the sleeve of her tunic and fired a pink, glittery round at a student. "All guns are already loaded, because you should always assume a weapon is loaded. Begin."

atreideslioness

Today class met in the Danger Shop, which was set up like a church with high vaulted ceilings and crossbeams, shadows in the eves.

"Greetings, class," Ghanima said. "Today, we're going to discuss how over-reliance on a particular type of weapon can be hazardous to your health. Familiarity breeds contempt, as they say, and if you become too biased towards a particular form of combat, you open yourself for for more weaknesses than is sensible."

"For instance..." Ghanima moved in a blur of motion, appearing to teleport to the other side of the room, a curved knife in her hand. "In a fight, my natural tendency is to use my knives and the Weirding Way. If my opponent knows this, they can prepare accordingly. Better body armor, perhaps, or some method of warping probability to throw off my ability to use the Way. I also do not use firearms, as they are useless in my universe, and so they know not to be concerned about that method of long-range attack."

That didn't mean they could rest easy, but it was one less thing to be worried about.

"So should I be sparring with, for instance, my brother, it would be prudent to change up my tactics. Spears, perhaps, instead of knives. Swords. Poison darts." Ghanima dimpled in amusement. "Leto does so enjoy surprises, you see, and so I try to indulge him."

"Now, I'd like us to talk about your strengths and weaknesses in this regard. What is your default weapon, if you have one. What could you stand to work on?"

[OOC: OCD ready.]

atreideslioness

It felt like the last time Ghanima had taught this class was a lifetime ago: one where she'd taught with a different Deadpool than the one currently running around, Ben Skywalker was a student and not a parent, and Shunsui was still teaching.

Who knew that five years was both nothing, and everything in the context of time?

Class was meeting - for today - in a standard classroom, instead of the Danger Shop or gym as one might expect. Ghanima was waiting at the front of the classroom, sitting on the teacher's desk and clad in a light tunic and slacks with her hair tied back in a ponytail. A very different look, from what students who had taken her classes before had come to expect.

"Welcome to 'What NOT to do in a Fight,'" she said, once everyone had shown up. "I am Lady Ghanima Atreides. You may refer to me as Lady Ghanima, Miss Ghanima, Miss Atreides, or whatever makes you feel most comfortable."

"This class is both academic and practical; deconstructing commonly-held perceptions and tropes perpetuated by the media, as well as learning basic self-defense and fighting techniques, how to take down an opponent as quickly as possible, and what your own limits are. Therefore, today we start with the basics: how to hit something 101, when it's ineffective, and knowing your own strength."

"Which is why I brought clowns for you to start with." Yes, yes she had, and Ghanima hopped off the desk to start taking them out of the supply closet where she'd hidden them. "It's mid-week the fall term of school, and you're probably either confused, pissed off, and/or sick of introductions already. You might as well take it out on something." Ghanima continued, a smile tugging at her lips. "Hence, the clowns. They're going to pop right back up after you slap them, as a demonstration of how ineffective such a technique is."

"So let's move the desks out of the way and get started."

solo_sword

The students were back in the gym today, with a couple punching bags set up and mats put out across the room.

"This is our last class," Jaina said, "and I'm taking a break next session. So it's been great teaching you, thank you for not making me give out detention and please don't take that as a challenge for this class. Since summer isn't really a finals kind of time, I'm going to let you guys take it easy today. You can work with the punching bags, or you can pair up to do some sparring. Just go ahead and hit things. If anybody needs me, I'll be keeping an eye on you here."

solo_sword

Today was a Danger Shop day, where the students would find themselves in front of a boxing ring when they showed up. Sometimes you just really didn't need explanation for what you were gonna be doing.

But Jaina was going to give it anyway. "You've going to be boxing today, kids. That means you put on the goofy-looking gear that yes, you have to wear, you get in the ring with one other person, and you hit each other for a round. Easy enough, right?" She went into a concise explanation of the rules, and said, "You only have one round. That's three minutes, no hitting below the belt. If there aren't any questions, who wants to go first?"

solo_sword

The class was back in the gym, and it was totally another one of those weeks when everyone stared at Jaina. Sorry. Sort of.

"So, you just spent a week in bouncy castles with a bunch of other people, and now you get to spend another week there," she began, and pulled a foam bat out from behind her back. "That means today you get to let out your frustrations with one of these. It's foam, so you can't really hurt anybody or anything. But you can hit things to your heart's content, so grab one and have at it. Just leave the foam on the bat."

She'd dealt with teenagers long enough to make sure that was clearly stated.

solo_sword

The class was in the gym today, with mats set down on the floor. Regular mats, no sign of sumo anything.

"So after last week, I figure I'll give you something no one will find silly, or roll their eyes at," Jaina began. Though last week had been great for her. It was just too bad she didn't tape it. "This week you're going to be hitting each other. I want you guys to pair up and do some sparring. If it makes you more comfortable, there's padding in the lockers back there, and if anyone needs help, just let me know."

See, Jaina could be nice to you sometimes.

solo_sword

The students were in a Danger Shop gym today, which aside from the circular mats set down and a weird lumpy mass of something, didn't give away what they might be doing today.

Good thing they had a teacher for that!

This week in Hitting Things, we're going to be... well, not exactly hitting each other. More like you'll be smacking into each other and probably hitting the ground," Jaina said, picking up the lumpy mass. "This is a sumo suit. Sumo wrestling originated in Japan, is an Olympic sport, and is a very real thing, but we're going to simplify it a lot for the sake of this class. You put the suit on. You pair off with someone else. You wrestle each other in these suits, and whoever is forced out of the ring or puts anything besides their feet on the mat loses. Now, if there aren't any questions, who wants to go first?"

solo_sword

When the students got to the Danger Shop today, they'd find something that looked a lot like something out of an amusement park. Classes at Fandom High were tough, yes.

"Well, I said you'd get to hit a variety of different things," Jaina began. "This week, you're going to hit each other with cars. In case you're not from somewhere that has these, these are bumper cars. They're simplified versions of real cars, where you can go forward and reverse, and the bumper means you can slam into each other without causing any actual damage. Okay, your neck might hurt a little after." Obviously she thought you just had to deal with that. "That's what you're doing today. Get in a car, and hit all the other cars you want. And, uh, don't do this in real cars, okay? I refuse to get blamed for something that dumb."

solo_sword

Jaina's first class met in the Danger Shop, where she was standing in front of a line of training dummies. Gee, wonder what you were doing today.

"This is Hitting Things 101," Jaina began, and truth be told, she just liked saying that. "If you're wondering what you're going to be doing in here, you didn't read the class title too well. This is a class where you're going to have different opportunities to beat things up in a safe environment. Some of you will probably be using this for some sort of training, and that's totally fine. Some of you will just be wanting catharsis. That's fine, too. You'll be able to do things more or less at your own pace here, so no one has to worry about what level of fighting they're at.

"Now since this is our first class, I just want you all to tell me who you are and where you're from, and then you can pick a dummy and hit it. And if you don't know how to throw a proper punch, please ask me or someone else for help because I'm not sending anyone to the clinic with a broken hand on day one."

solo_sword

The students were in the Danger Shop today, hanging out in a simulated alleyway. "This is our last class, and I wanted to thank you for not being difficult, and I hope you've learned something," Jaina began. "This is your final. You're going to take turns, either alone or in teams, and head out onto the street. All you have to do is make it to the other side of the street. You'll be allowed to use weapons if you ~~handwavily~~ requested to. And while your classmates are doing that, the rest of you will stay in here, because it spoils a lot of you look to see what you're going to be doing."

Like the simulation wouldn't be different every time. Details.

"If there aren't any questions, let's get started."

solo_sword

The students were back in the gym today, where Jaina still wasn't in the happiest of moods but was going to get through class anyway.

"First off, sorry about last week. I had a slight case of being sixteen. I'm over it now," she began. "And with that over with... One of the most important things you need in combat is information. Whether it's someone you're facing off against randomly, you wonder who they are and how good they are and what kind of moves they might use next. If you're in a battle situation, you probably go in with some kind of information about what you're heading into and what you're facing, and then you have to expand on that when you get there. If you're in an open area you'll realize you might have to find cover, or if there's a lot of things around you there might be something to use as a weapon. And if you know who you're facing, you always stand a chance of doing better, or even getting the jump on them.

"So I'm going to tell you a little bit about your final. It's going to be in the Danger Shop, and you will be facing multiple attackers in a city. You'll be allowed to work alone or together, and you'll be able to use your weapon of choice, or none at all. If it's something we haven't covered, just let me know ~~handwavily is fine~~ so I can make sure it's programmed in. Whatever you choose, that's who you're dealing with will be using. And that's all I'm giving you." Hey, it was more than she got going in a lot of the time.

"Remember how we've paired up by skill level? For the rest of class I want you to pick someone outside of your skill level and see if you can adjust for it. Please no one give each other black eyes."

solo_sword

At thirty-two, Jaina had participated in four wars, had ended a fifteen-year military career as a colonel leading the same squadron she'd first started out in, had led multiple squadrons that she'd had to break down and build up again, led weeks-long ground campaigns, had killed a Sith lord and was basically a Master level fighter. Teaching a class on combat was pretty far beneath her if we're being honest.

At sixteen, Jaina had only just, had battle experience that mostly consisted of "Uh oh, we're in trouble again, I hope this plan I just came up with right this second works," and only knew she was supposed to be here because it was on the calendar in her phone. Because of course the first thing Jaina did after she woke up in a strange apartment was to find the nearest gadget and find out what she could from it.

But being Jaina, she wasn't going to show that she had no idea what she was doing, especially when she thought this was all probably a Fandom thing, and tried to look cool about this. "Hi," she said, when everyone'd gotten to the Danger Shop. Because you better believe she'd figured that out already, too, and had jumped at the chance to use it. "Apparently I'm supposed to be here teaching Combat. I don't have any details on what I'm supposed to teach you-" And from now on adult Jaina would be giving herself more detailed notes just in case. "-so how about you find the thing you think you're best at and show me what you've got."

Look, you wake up and find out you had to deal with a class, okay?

solo_sword

The class met in a regular classroom today, which tended to feel really weird to Jaina this far in. Mostly because she kept forgetting there was an actual classroom for this.

"I had a Danger Shop simulation ready to go for you guys," she said, "and then this morning it was completely gone and while I can recreate it, I'm not that fast." Which just made this morning more annoying. "So we're going to say this is a lesson in improvisation and actually watch a movie for once. And um, I feel I shouldn't have to say this but I'm going to anyway: don't actually do anything you see in it? You're all smarter than that."

solo_sword

One day Jaina was going confuse the students with the multiple Danger Shop/gym/other locations, but hopefully it wasn't today when they were at the shooting range.

"A few weeks ago we covered blasters," she began. "Today we're going to be working with guns from this planet. Now there's a few big differences between this and a blaster. You have to reload bullets more often, guns jam easier, and there's no helpful stun setting. If you point this at someone, it should only be because you intend to shoot or wound that person. There's also a little problem of kickback. It's not like in the holos; when you shoot one of these, you feel it. Don't be scared of it, because that'll make your shot jerkier, just don't be surprised."

With that, she gave a short demonstration on how to actually use one, mostly so the students could see what she meant with the kickback. "That's what you're going to be doing. You have targets to shoot at, and I expect you to have all the protective gear on this class period. Aim anything at each other, and you will be in detention for the rest of your natural lives."

solo_sword

The students were in the Danger Shop today, which was set up with the gun range from a few weeks ago on one side, and some sparring mats on the other. "I figure after the weekend, some of us-" Her. "-might want to get a little frustration out still, so it's going to be kind of a sparring day today. Go ahead and pick a partner, hit each other, and if you'd rather go solo today, you can go ahead and practice at the range.

"Also," she added, as she saw a little blue donkey go running towards a red elephant out of the corner of her eye, "please don't step on the animals."

solo_sword

And straight from Ethics class, Jaina went straight to meet her actual class at the Danger Shop.

"Hello again to some of you," she greeted them. "So, even if you're a loner type and don't like to work with others, there's going to come a point where you have to. You'll have to team up with someone else to get out alive, you'll find an ally where you didn't count on one, you know how it goes. Things happen. In those cases, you're going to have to deal with working with another person and watching out for them while also watching out for yourself.

"That's what we're going to do today. You'll pair up, and the Danger Shop will give you two attackers that you have to face in hand to hand. You and your partner will have to fight them off, help each other out when you need to, and get used to that whole teamwork thing."

solo_sword

Today the students were meeting in the gym, a table was set up with various boxes of... well, you could call it equipment. "Today we're going to be talking about fighting with a handicap," Jaina began. "If you do a lot of fighting, this can happen a lot. Injury's the most common, but there are a lot of outside influences going on, too, whether it's weather, relative darkness, the battle around you... I've fought while hurt, blind, deafened, powerless, and glued to the floor- not all at the same time- and there's never any real preparation for it actually happening. If you can get out of the fight, do so. If you're not on your game, you can get yourself hurt worse, or you can hurt others."

Hey, guess what, Jaina was a huge hypocrite here.

"If you can't leave the fight, then all you can do is try to adjust what you're doing around your new circumstances. Today you're going to practice on that. You're going to go to the boxes over there, put on one of the pieces- or more than one, if that's your thing- and take a turn on the punching bag to see how it affects what you do."

solo_sword

Class was back in the Danger Shop this week, with the room set up with areas for everything they'd already covered. "Welcome back, guys," Jaina greeted them. "Being halfway through the semester, I wanted to check in and see how you guys think you're doing, or if there's anything specific you'd still like to cover, be it weaponry or combat techniques you want to learn, which we will be getting more into.

"Once that's done, you get a little bit of a free period, where you can pick something we've already covered and get some more practice in. If you need any help or want more tips, just ask."

solo_sword

Today the Danger Shop was set up like a larger version of the gym, where Jaina was standing with a sword in hand, pointed down since she wasn't going to be using it. Guess what you were doing today, kids!

"Glad to see you all survived the weekend, and it was good to see some of your relatives, even if some of it might have hurt my head a little," Jaina began with a lopsided smile. And with that part over, she lifted the sword and said, "Here's one I think probably none of you have used. This is a beskad, which is a sword made from a really durable metal that even withstands lightsabers. It's Mandalorian, which is a people whose entire was once based on battle, so they're serious about it. It handles a little differently than your lighter swords, so it might take a bit for some of you to get used to using it.

"Today you're going to get to pair together and swordfight," she went on. "That's why we're in the Danger Shop, where getting hit with these things won't actually lead to a clinic visit. So find a partner, get things going, and I'm right over here if you need any help."

solo_sword

The class was back in the dorms gym again, without any of the Danger Shop fun. "I figured this week we'd return to hand-to-hand sparring," Jaina began. "It's probably the most versatile thing you're going to learn, and I don't want you to get bored doing weapons every week. Pick someone in your group to spar against, and if you feel like you need to adjust where you put yourself, go ahead and do it.

"Also, it's Parents Weekend this week," she said. "Which means if you want to try and warn me against telling people things, now's the time to try it."

solo_sword

The class was back in the Danger Shop today, in what most people would recognize as a firing range. "So, you can probably figure out what we're doing today," Jaina greeted them. "We're going to be shooting. And before you say this isn't really fighting, I'll tell you right now that I've been in far fewer fights where at least one party wasn't carrying one of these, so let's make sure you know about this. We're going back to something from my galaxy, because I'm the teacher and I can."

She picked up a gun from where it lay on a table full of them and continued, "This is a blaster. It's the same basic principle as the guns you might know from this world, but instead of bullets it shoots a plasma beam, which we call blaster bolts. It also runs on a power pack, meaning we worry about running out of ammo less. And the big plus," she said, making sure she had their attention before aiming at one of the targets and shooting a bolt into it, "is that there's no kickback. So for those of you who've never shot before, it's probably easier to learn on this before I show you the other kind. And for those who might be more experienced with guns here, congratulations, you get to fire a laser gun for a class period.

Jaina quickly went over the basic safety rules (basically amounting to "shoot the dummies, not yourself or others") because someone had to be responsible, and said, "Go ahead and pick up a weapon and see what you can do while you're in here. And if anyone's not comfortable with this, just let me know."

solo_sword

The class was in the Danger Shop today, even if it looked just like the gym, and Jaina was standing with two similar objects in her hands. "We're going to get back to hand to hand," she promised, "but today we're going to do something a little different.

"This is a lightsaber," she said, igniting the violet blade of the real weapon in her right hand and holding it up as she spoke. "For those of you who don't know, it's a weapon used by the Jedi... and others." The Sith didn't deserve mentioning, and she didn't know about the Imperial Knights, so there. "For those of you who know how to use swords, even light ones, you're going to be in for a surprise here. They're a lot lighter than what you're used to, which is going to change how you fight with it. The beam is plasma, and it's capable of doing this." With that, Jaina plunged her lightsaber downward, cutting easily through the Danger Shop floor before she switched it off. "If it can do that to a floor, it'll do a lot more damage to a person. Which is why you'll be skipping the real thing and using these."

And on went the practice lightsaber in her left hand, which looked and sounded just a little different. The snap-hiss wasn't quite the same. "These are practice sabers. You'll each get one for class. They're good substitutes for the real thing, but if you hit someone, instead of chopping off an arm, you'll shock them." And because she never expected people she bossed around to do anything she wouldn't, she tapped her other arm with the practice blade, and if it looked like it hurt, it's because it did. "Go ahead and pair up, try these out, and don't aim for any sensitive areas on purpose, okay? Seriously."

solo_sword

There'd been a ~~handwavy~~ email to let the students know to meet in the gym this week. It didn't make any sense to work up a Danger Shop simulation for what they'd be doing today, and there was a fun side effect of making Jaina feel all nostalgic being back in here after like ten years.

"This week we're going to start with some actual combat, but we're still going to start a little slow," Jaina began. "Bear with me. While we're actually doing some fighting, there are a couple rules I want to get out of the way. First, if there's anything you're really not comfortable doing, let me know and you get a pass. Only do that if you genuinely aren't okay doing something; I don't want to see you using that excuse because you just don't feel like it that day. Second, use of powers is allowed only if the other person you're working with is okay with it. Third, if I ever see anyone here hurting someone intentionally in this class, not only will you be in detention for the rest of the semester, but I won't hesitate in making you cry in front of the rest of the class. Got it?" Everyone should probably just nod at this. She was sort of used to breaking rookies down when needed.

"Today we're going to be doing some basic sparring. A lot of combat is thinking, and trying to think while you've got a lot going on around you or someone trying to hit you at the same time. So I'm going to make you do that, too. I'm small," she said, like there was anyone who hadn't noticed, "and I regularly go up against people twice my size and strength. That means I have to compensate by being faster, and sharp, and there are particular skills I need to keep up. And by doing that, taking out four guys at once in hand-to-hand isn't an issue for me. So I want you all to split yourself up in groups of beginner, intermediate and advanced, and find someone else in your group to spar against. You can mix up a little if the groups are uneven. And make sure to try and figure out that this person's strengths and witnesses might be, and see if you can't use that."

Have fun, everyone who was up with a fire drill last night!

Fandom High RPG

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