fandomhigh | Entries tagged with self-defense class

For once, the meditation space looked as it was supposed to: light and airy with soundproof windows looking out over a city-planet of billions. Welcome to the interior of the Jedi Temple, as best as Anakin's memories could recreate it.

Just, not like the last time he'd been in it. Because reasons.

"While, ideally, you should be able to meditate anytime and anywhere," a wistful looking Ahsoka said. "It does help to have a dedicated space for it. Or spaces." This Temple could fit so many mediation rooms in it.

"Find a spot on a mat, sit down, get comfortable, and close your eyes," Anakin said

"And, as always, remember your breathing."

sith_happened

Anakin, back to himself, was at the front of the Danger Shop. The Danger Shop was set up to look like an upscale yoga studio, complete with the soothing sound of water coming through the speakers and some slightly unplaceable scent in the air.

"Hello," he said.

"As you can see, today's class is considerably less cat focused," Ahsoka said, as if this was a deep and terrible tragedy.

"There's also no sand," Anakin added, shooting Ahsoka a look. He'd been covered with the stuff when he'd turned back.

"Meditation is rising above the small distractions." Did Ahsoka's cadence sound just like Anakin's then? Yes.

"You're hilarious," he said dryly, then tilted his head. Why did he hear cat sounds over the fake water?

It was probably just the beanie cat draped over one of the students shoulders like a very inconvenient scarf. Probably.

Anakin, being the direct sort, turned to Ahsoka. "Master Tano, why do I continue to sense cats?"

Ahsoka considered the question. "Because the ways of the Force are mysterious?" And the Danger Shop was conveniently glitchy.

Anakin looked unimpressed as cats emerged to take up residence next to the students. "They truly are. Clear your mind. Ignore the cats."

Which may be harder than they thought, because the cats definitely weren't ignoring them.

snipsnspecks

The class had been directed to the meet in the salle today, which they would find had been cleared of equipment and set up with a number comfortable looking cushions arranged in a rough semi-circle. They would also find Ahsoka sitting cross legged at the front of the semi-circle, eyes closed, breathing steady, a picture of serenity despite the very aggravated tom cat that was furiously attempting to pounce on her.

Of course it that the cat was bouncing off thin air instead of having any of his pounces actually connect probably helped a lot with keeping that air of serenity. When the last student had arrived, Ahsoka opened her eyes and stood up. "Welcome, everyone. For those of you new to the class, my name is Ahsoka Tano. Normally this is when we'd do introductions, but unfortunately Master Skywalker is currently...indisposed." And cranky. And furry. "So we'll leave those for another week, as well as discussions why meditation is vital to self-defence, and instead we'll begin by learning how to breathe, as regardless of whatever form of meditation you end up most suited for, it all starts with breathing."

She gestured around the room. "Find a spot and make yourself comfortable. Whether it's sitting, or kneeling, or even lying down, I'll need you to find a position you'll be able to hold without fidgeting, or having a limb fall asleep, or ending up with a cramp after. At this stage focus is more important than form." And if this was a version of the speech that Jedi creche-masters gave their younglings, well, vanishingly few people here would know that.

Once everyone had settled, Ahsoka continued. "I want you to close your eyes and focus on your breathing," she said as she paced through the room. "In...hold...release. In...hold...release.

"As you breathe attempt to empty your mind of thoughts," she said, the pace of her words calm and measured. "This is harder than it sounds. If your mind wanders, don't try to force it to stillness, let the thought come, hold it for a moment, understand it, then release it with your next breath. As you let your thoughts and feelings go, stillness will come on its own terms."

Though given that Anakitty was randomly pouncing on people, achieving stillness may be even harder than usual...

sith_happened

The only way to discover if you've learned anything is to test you," Anakin said, getting rid of his Jedi robes and hopping into the boxing ring that had been programmed into the Danger Shop. "So we've programmed increasingly difficult opponents for you to fight."

From an ancient game called "Mike Tyson's Punch-Out." This would go well.

Just ignore the popcorn Ahsoka had gotten from somewhere. "Master Skywalker will demonstrate the basic concept."

Anakin finished taping up his hands and put on the gloves. "Honestly, if you can't defeat Glass Joe yet, you have not been paying attention."

Ahsoka made a noise of agreement as she chewed on her popcorn.

"And make Master Tano share her snacks after you're finished," Anakin said, firing up the program and sending Glass Joe flying across the ring with one punch.

Had Ahsoka brought enough for everyone? Only time would tell.

snipsnspecks

There was no nerf--animal or toy--to be seen today, but the class was still meeting in the Danger Shop, so take that for the warning it probably was. "My wife is obsessed with a movie about an FBI agent who infiltrates a beauty pageant and her special skill was teaching self-defense," Anakin began. "She made sure everyone remembered to SING--solar plexus, instep, nose, groin--when approached by an attacker. This works with standard humanoid attackers, and we'll begin with those, but will get you nowhere with Wookiees, Hutts, or Trandoshans."

"For starters, Hutts don't have insteps," Ahsoka added dryly. "And good luck reaching a Wookiee's nose."

"And you're going to have to do much more than just punch a Trandoshan to knock them over," Anakin said, nodding. "We'll start with boring, squishy humanoids first."

Ahsoka gestured at the controls and a row of training dummies appeared. And NPCakin.

"Hey," Anakin said, pointing to his other self.

"I don't know where he came from," Ahsoka replied. "It looks like it just put him in automatically."

You could thank Cara for that, Anakin.

"Uh huh," Anakin said dryly. "Well, I'm sure the fake me is much less of a challenge."

Was it the way NPCakin was trying to edge behind Ahsoka that gave you that impression?

Probably, yeah. "Start out easy, then progress to your skill level. Ben, start with the Hutts."

snipsnspecks

For a change, class was in the Danger Shop, which was either a very good or very bad thing. The giant hairy not-a-yak that was standing next to the teachers was probably a sign it was the latter.

"We will begin working with weapons today," Anakin said, holding up a lightsaber made of Nerf foam.

"Learning to use a weapon is a responsibility," Ahsoka said, "Once you pick up a weapon, you are responsible for the harm it causes, intentional or otherwise."

Hence Nerf foam sabers. But, look, they came in multiple colours. Not red though. Weirdly.

"We have set up various fake targets throughout the space for you to hit with your saber. We will also let loose this nerf--" he pointed to the yak-thing, "--which you are not to hit with your practice weapon."

"Try and avoid hitting each other as well, no matter how tempting it may be." No, Ahsoka wasn't looking at Anakin while she was saying this, what made you think that?

"I think everyone hit me quite enough yesterday in paintball," Anakin said with a light frown.

Ahsoka just smiled beatifically. "How will you ever learn to block with that attitude?"

"They can learn to block next week," Anakin decided.

sith_happened

Never you mind where Anakin got the giant sumo wrestling costumes, he just had them and they were paid for and the school board hadn't yelled about it.

"Today we will practice hand-to-hand combat in a safe way!" Anakin announced. "You will not look as ridiculous as you will feel."

Don't lie to them like that, Anakin.

They'd look more ridiculous. And not just from a certain point of view.

"Just remember, safety first," Ashoka said.

"Pair up and don't use powers if you can avoid it--it's best to know how to defend yourself without the bells and whistles so you aren't dependent on them," Anakin added

In case anyone was wondering, Ahsoka could confirm that 'do as I say, not as I do' had long been a teaching method of Anakin's.

It was important to be consistent, even in your terrible habits! "Begin," Anakin said, pointing at random to two students.

snipsnspecks

Was there anything at all ominous in the fact that class was taking place in the preserve, and more specifically the part where paintball class had been held yesterday? Almost certainly, but perhaps you were too distracted by the fact both your teachers were human (and one of them was distinctly unhappy about it) to notice yet.

"Don't ask," Anakin said, rubbing his arm. "Just accept that Fandom is being very odd this week." Because he'd asked and gotten smacked. "Today we're going to explore preparing for the unexpected!"

Like waking up human! Definitely a thing that many of the students could relate to!

"The unexpected can take many forms," Ahsoka, who for some reason had felt absolutely no compunctions about letting Anakin's idea for class run wild today, said. "Like having to do laps on uneven terrain."

Uneven, booby-trapped terrain. Which they would not warn you about because then it wouldn't be unexpected! Jedi teachers were wild. "After you're warmed up, we'll work on punch techniques," Anakin said. "Some of you need work."

"Plus, everyone needs to practice, regardless of skill."

After you got yourself out of the booby traps! What a fun day you'll have.

sith_happened

Two changes about Anakin and Ahsoka from their last class to this one were pretty obvious. The first one one was that they were outside, at least today, instead of inside a classroom. The other was they seemed to be genuinely enjoying each other's company.

"Welcome to Self-Defense," Anakin began with a quick smile. "As I hope you knew when you signed up, this will be an interactive workshop."

"We won't be able to teach you everything in just a few weeks,” Ahsoka added, much more relaxed than the start of last semester. "But you should leave us with a solid foundation to build on."

"While hopefully not boring those of you who already have some skills," Anakin added. "We'll start with warmups, then check on your punching and kicking techniques."

You should probably get their names, too, Anakin.

"We'll be getting your names too," Ahsoka said. "We may also give a demonstration to ease you into things."

Lies, not one person in their entire lineage was capable of being anything other than extra.

"Just a small one," Anakin agreed.

brat_inslayage

Kennedy had, in fact, left instructions for all the students to meet her in town today, at Pizza Planet. And also, if possible, to get there at least kind of hungry. When they arrived, they'd find an entire section of the restaurant reserved for them, and an absurd spread of pizza, calzones, pasta, salads, and drinks (all carefully labeled and separated as necessary to accommodate for various dietary restrictions) on the tables there.

"Congrats on making it through the semester," Kennedy told them with a grin. "Which is not so much just a in-this-class context as it is a general one, because Fandom. And also high school. And also I'm being serious here. You should be proud of yourselves. Thus, pizza sort-of-brunch party." Look, you didn't graduate from Fandom High and then spend almost nine years around people who went to Sunnydale High and not come away from it with a different perspective on what exactly getting through high school meant.

She gestured for them to grab plates and cups and help themselves.

And then cleared her throat.

"Buuuuuuuuuut. In case you thought you were getting off really easy? Take a look around this place, and while you're eating, come up with five different objects in here you could use as an improvised weapon, and five ways to use the environment around you to your advantage in a fight. This isn't a right or wrong answers deal, 'cause going back to that whole being-creative thing, it's all about knowing what you can do and playing to your own strengths. I don't expect all of you to fight the same way, so when you come up with your answers, I want to hear what you, personally, would use. Not what you think is the correct thing to use."

Kennedy put a couple of slices of pizza with possibly every meat protein ever piled on them on her plate, took a bite out of one, and pointed at the class with the rest of the bitten-into slice.

"Just not on an empty stomach, okay?"

Well, what are you waiting for, kids? Chow down.

brat_inslayage

Today's Danger Shop setup: a summer camp-style archery range, complete with wood rail fences, brightly colored paper targets pinned to a wall of stacked hay bales, and ... well, no archery equipment, actually. There was a table in the back next to the equipment shed that was covered with an array of throwing knives, wooden stakes, Frisbees, tennis balls, short lengths of pipe, even some coffee mugs, cupcakes so old and stale that they were rock hard, and what looked like cans of dog food. Basically, if it could fit in your hand and you could feasibly throw it, it was likely to be on that table somewhere.

Kennedy was up front, pacing back and forth along the shooting line.

"First off, range rules," she said, more serious than usual -- not quite her old drill-sergeant tone, but close. Something more tempered and mature, assertive in the students' best interests instead of for the sake of the power trip. She held up a bright yellow whistle. "Two blasts: go ahead and step up to the shooting line here. One blast: you can start shooting, or, in this case, throwing. Three blasts: the range is clear, and you can go pull your arrows or whatever you've been throwing, pick them up off the ground, all that. Four blasts: you stop immediately. I'm going to be a hardass on this one, and if I see anyone make a move to throw anything while people are still out on the range, or so much as make a move to cross the shooting line before I signal that it's clear? You are out of class for the rest of the day, so, so fast. And that said ..."

Her expression turned a lot more cheerful and relaxed.

"In case you couldn't tell, we're doing ranged weapons today. Ranged improvised weapons, because as much as some of us enjoy it? Being up close and personal with your baddie of the day isn't always a good thing. Maybe hand-to-hand isn't your strength, or maybe you're fighting something that's covered in really acidic mucus, or -- you get the idea. Lucky for you, improvising a throwing weapon is pretty easy. Here's the big old conditional of it, though: not everything you can throw is going to fly the same way. You probably already knew that, but I'm not gonna assume."

She indicated the tables. "So. You all get to test out different things today, just so you can get a feel of what to expect, and how to compensate, if for instance you're trying to knock a bucket of kerosene over onto a vampire who's already a little bit on fire, and the only thing on hand is a Funko Pop."

That was ... so oddly specific, Kennedy.

"-- just as an example. You know," she added, looking like she wouldn't be sorry at all if people spent the rest of the day wondering about what the hell that had been about. "Anyway, pick out three objects from the table for this first round, and let's see how this goes, yeah?"

brat_inslayage

The Danger Shop was set up as a redux of that funky post-industrial gym setup from a couple of weeks ago, with Kennedy leaning back against some of the scaffolding that lined one wall.

"So, hope all of you who did the Thanksgiving thing had a good time," she said once it looked like everyone was there. "And if for some reason you're worried about working some of that food off, still, you're in luck today."

She kicked something up off the floor, into the air and into her hand: it turned out to be a length of chain about four feet long, and she twirled one end of it idly a few times, nodded, and went into a set of flashy-looking maneuvers for half a minute or so before snapping the chain taut between her hands and dropping it back onto the floor.

"We're gonna revisit that stick-fighting thing this week, but with a couple of new added wrinkles," she said, indicating the weapon racks against the walls with their various lengths of practice sticks, and then the lengths of chain and heavy rope, as well as a few brooms and pieces of scrap piping that were laid out in the center of the mats. "Namely, a few tricks for disarming an opponent who might be coming at you with a stick-like weapon or, on the flip side, not letting yourself get disarmed."

She raised an eyebrow expectantly, and a loud, dramatically irritated sigh came from behind the scaffolding. "Why do I keep agreeing to help you?" grumbled Beau. You know. As she slouched out from where she'd been lurking and dropped into a ready position with her staff in her hands.

"Because nobody who spends that much time training can resist the chance to show off a little bit," Kennedy replied smoothly, picking up that length of chain again. "Hey, not throwing stones here. Takes one to know one, am I right?"

Before Beau could come up with an appropriately snappy retort, Kennedy was already going into a quarter-speed demonstration of the techniques she wanted the class to work on. So of course Beau had to give as good as she got, because what was she going to do, concede here? Please.

"Okay, so team up and give some of this stuff a try, and don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it." Kennedy paused. "From me, that is."

brat_inslayage

Today, the Danger Shop was set up to look like the salle -- but with a kind of industrial aesthetic to it. There were exposed wooden beams everywhere and some scaffolding up against one wall, as if the space was in the process of being renovated. (That part was unintentional. Kennedy might have gotten some of her apartment redecoration plans mixed in with everything while she was programming today's setting.)

A rack built into the lower portion of the scaffolding held a variety of sticks of various lengths and a few different diameters; Kennedy was standing in the center of the room holding a pair of eskrima sticks in her hands, and next to her was an extremely irritated-looking Beau, leaning on her staff and drumming her fingers against it like she just wanted to get all of this over with. Kennedy, for her part, looked entirely too amused, and maybe a little bit smug.

"So, stick fighting," she began once the class was assembled. "I'll spare you the whole lecture about different traditions and styles of stick fighting throughout history, but it's a versatile and useful skill, in no small part because it's pretty easy to improvise a weapon with whatever's on hand. One of my former trainees had an incident the other week, as a matter of fact, where she ended up using a plunger and a toilet brush to deal with a vampire because it was 3 AM at the coroner's office and the cleaning crew was about to start working when they ran off because someone had this whole brand new fangy condition she just couldn't wait to play with. Plus it's pretty flexible as far as working in really close quarters or at a little bit of range."

(Beau had not perked up a bit and looked interested when Kennedy mentioned the different traditions. She was just impatient to get this over with. Really.)

Kennedy twirled the sticks in her hands with a smile. "One of my friends, when I was a student here, was really into it. I kinda didn't see the appeal at first -- I'm really more of a swords and sharp-pointies kind of girl -- but the more time I spent training with her, the more I got to appreciate it. Plus eskrima, specifically, translates pretty well into unarmed combat techniques, so that's a bonus."

She spent a few minutes going over the basics of proper grip and the different defensive options you could take: being able to dodge, parry, block, or attempt to disarm or incapacitate. Then, she spent a few more minutes demonstrating several attacking techniques, slowly and then at full speed.

"Here's the useful if slightly unexpected: you're not actually at as much of a disadvantage as you might think, if you're up against someone with more reach than you."

Beau sighed loudly and rolled her eyes. "Is this the part where you try to kick my ass again?"

"No," Kennedy replied smoothly, "it's the part where I succeed at it." She demonstrated ways to neutralize Beau's staff attacks long enough to get in close quarters, where the staff wasn't as effective, before she narrated Beau's demonstration of a few basic staff fighting moves.

And yes, in the brief sparring session that ensued, she absolutely did kick Beau's ass.

"So there's two things for class today," she finally said. "First off, I want each of you to think for a minute and name me two or three items you might find in a totally normal setting that you could use as fighting sticks. Second, pair off and practice what we just went over, got it? Cool. Good luck, and have fun."

brat_inslayage

As students entered the classroom today, they would find themselves filtering into a small but fairly well-equipped gym locker room. The front area was made up of rows of alternating lockers and benches, leading into the shower area, where curtained showers lined one wall and partitioned changing stalls lined the other, and finally to the restroom stalls at the far end of the room.

Kennedy was standing on the bench near the door -- look, she knew she had a pretty large personality and could yell loud enough to match it, but she was still short.

"Hey, everybody. Sorry about last week," she said. "Some people accidentally triggered a small off-season apocalypse, it was a whole thing, I'll spare you the details. Anyway, today we're going to be looking at how you do in a close-quarters, sort of cramped environment. And this week, I want you to focus on incapacitating your attacker, not just getting away, got it? You'll be running through this one individually, you versus one not-so-friendly Danger Shop baddie. And as always, be creative, remember to use your surroundings."

She grinned at them. "The door-in-the-face move is a classic. Highly recommended, by the way. Okay, line up and have at it."

brat_inslayage

There was a hastily handwritten sign on the door of the Danger Shop this morning:

Sorry. Things came up. Minor but ahead-of-schedule apocalypse, you know how it is. Enjoy your free period!

K

Did they really know how it was though, Kennedy?

It was Fandom, so maybe.

[OOC:Yesterday evening kind of turned out to be … eventful. Sorry, y'all.]

brat_inslayage

The Danger Shop today resembled a half-finished haunted house setup: the framework of the walls was mapped out with 2x4s but you could see right through into the adjacent rooms in most places. Various hand and power tools and the occasional bit of lumber were still lying around, extension cords snaked across the floor, crates of decorations and building materials were stacked up in the corners.

And there was Kennedy, leaning against the open doorframe of the first room with her arms crossed and an easygoing half-smile on her face.

"Funny thing back home," she began in a conversational tone, "this is actually the slowest night of the year in the vampire-slayage business. All the actual demon-types take the night off while everyone else pretends to be them. Not to say there hasn't been wacky on Halloween, it's just… usually weird mystical wonkiness."

She paused and chuckled. "That has nothing to do with class, actually. It's just some holiday-specific, possibly candy corn-like flavor. Wait. Ew. Other not-gross candy flavor of your choice. So, today's scenario is courtesy of a colleague of mine who reported one of her squads dealing with something like this last Halloween. You're workers just trying to get this damn thing finished in time for the holiday, only turns out? When you build a haunted house on an ancient mystical site, there's enough residual power there to --" Kennedy swirled one hand in the air in the kind of gesture you made when there was a word you kept trying to think of and it just kept escaping somehow. "To make the creepies a lot more real. For lack of a better word."

It was zombies, though. Kennedy figured after yesterday people might be a little burned out on clowns after yesterday.

"So, again, get to the end of this maze thing, using whatever you can think of that's available to you in here to fight the zombies off. Yes, you can work together if you want to. Safety in numbers, right?"

brat_inslayage

The Danger Shop looked like an ordinary classroom today. Specifically, an ordinary high school chemistry lab that had maybe not been entirely tidied up after the last class.

"Hey, everybody. Hope you had a good break, but now it's back to it. I want you guys to work in teams of two on this one," Kennedy said, leaning against the teacher's station at the front of the room. "It's based on an actual scenario a friend of mine, and a friend of hers, got caught in a few years back. Setup's simple enough: these jerks are trying to kidnap you, and you're not gonna let them. You know if you make it out of this room and down the hall, there's backup waiting for you near the front doors."

She glanced around and smiled slightly.

"So, your mission objective: keep yourself and your partner from getting grabbed, use whatever you can think of in this room to hold these guys off, get the hell out of this room, and make a break for the front doors. Again, be as creative as you can; you can add an extra element of surprise that way, throw your attackers really off guard for a valuable few seconds."

Kennedy nodded and gestured around the room at the students.

"Okay, pair off and take a run through this thing."

brat_inslayage

The Danger Shop was set up like a movie theater again today, but with gourmet popcorn and fancy snacks and sparkling mineral water; Kennedy was sitting on the back of one of the front row chairs as students arrived.

"Looks like Fandom's having one of those weeks again, huh?" she asked, all genuine sympathy. And not at all sorry that it missed her, because in her household, suddenly turning into a guy had . . . not-so-great connotations attached to it. "I was going to run you all through a pretty cool scenario today, but it seems kind of unfair to do that when a bunch of you probably aren't all that used to your current bodies. So . . . guess it's going to be another movie day, if you want to stick around."

She paused and flashed them all a quick smile. "'course, if you're not so much with the manageable comfort level today, you're free to leave, okay?"

With that she turned the lights down and started the movie, which she'd decided to keep on the light and fun side just to be safe.

brat_inslayage

The Danger Shop was set up so that students would enter the room and find themselves in the entryway to a small carnival, complete with a ticket booth that students would have to walk by on their way in to class. (It was dark, and had a CLOSED sign up, so hopefully nobody was going to block the doorway trying to actually pay admission.)

Right up front, past the gates, a brightly-lit carousel was the centerpiece of this whole setup, with the bumper cars behind that and the Ferris wheel towering over everything in the background. A few booths with games stretched off to the left, leading toward the miniature roller coaster, and just past the toddlers' train ride on the right was a large inflatable bouncy castle with concessions stands scattered around it and the pendulum swings beyond that. (Anyone looking closely enough would notice that none of the toys on display as prizes at the games resembled any kind of sentient creature. Kennedy had heard about the whole Toymaker deal, and wasn't about to stir up any more of that trauma if she could help it.)

It wasn't a particularly well-attended carnival, judging from the sparse handfuls of ~~NPC~~ patrons that occasionally straggled by, and the carousel only had one rider on it: Kennedy, who was doing a series of vaults and jumps from one slightly run-down painted horse to another to keep within view of the class while the carousel revolved. Once everyone appeared to be there, she hopped down off the back of a unicorn that had gone slightly grey with wear and sauntered toward the students.

"This is the setup I was hoping to have for you all last week," she said, sounding pretty proud of it. "Will did an amazing job helping me with the program, and luckily she had a backup. Several backups. That I know of, anyway. There's probably more, maybe not even in this dimension. Anyway."

She pressed a button on the remote, and a number of super generic looking masked bandits appeared.

"These guys are going to be after you all. Your job is to make it from here to the Ferris wheel by whichever route works for you, without getting caught. There's a lot of stuff around here that you can use to defend yourselves, so you can get really creative if you want. I'm giving you twenty seconds' head start on them, so when I say go, start heading for that Ferris wheel, got it? Oh, and try not to get any of the other bystanders hurt." Kennedy gave them all an encouraging grin. "Okay, go!"

brat_inslayage

When the students came in today, they'd find the Danger Shop set up to look like a movie theater -- though Kennedy had brought the popcorn and snacks in herself, so they were definitely real.

Speaking of whom, she was standing in front of the curtains that currently obscured the movie screen, looking tired and a little bit irritated and also like she'd gotten into a fight with a clawed and slimy something large on her way here today.

"Hey, everybody," she said with a sigh in a voice that definitely backed up that tired-and-irritated thing. "So there was a whole elaborate thing that I had planned for today, and by complicated I mean I had to get my girlfriend to help me set up the whole program because that's her jam, except the flash drive I had it on got a little bit totally smashed by a demon this morning when I was trying to make my portal, so . . . long story short, I just barely got here and didn't have time to put together a really good backup lesson."

She clicked on the remote in her hand, and the lights started to dim as the curtains opened to reveal the screen.

"So, movie day. There's a pretty good amount of improvising weaponry and figuring out how to defend yourself on the fly in this one, at least." Also Alicia Vikander looking all hot and badass, but Kennedy was keeping that bit of editorializing to herself.

brat_inslayage

When students showed up this week, they'd find that the Danger Shop was programmed to look like the cleaning supplies section of a mid-sized hardware and lumber store. There were brooms and mops and buckets (including the really fancy kind with wheels and a contraption for squeezing excess water out of mops), cleaning chemicals, trash bags in various sizes, pretty much everything you might need for that impromptu out of season spring cleaning.

"So," Kennedy said as everyone filed in, "we covered some ways to get away from an attacker last week. Today we're gonna build on that a little bit, because getting away from someone who's coming after you only does so much if they're gonna keep trying to come after you."

She clicked a button on the remote in her hand, and a nondescript human-looking jerk in a ski mask materialized over by the floor wax supplies.

"So. You'll each be getting away from this guy. Take a good look at what's around you, and when it's your turn to run through the scenario, use something in this section of the store to incapacitate him and then make a break for the front doors. You don't get extra credit for being creative about it, but I am gonna be impressed if you are. Got it? Okay, first person up, let's go."

[OOC: OCD is up and class is in session!]

brat_inslayage

The Danger Shop was set up to look like … the interior of a crypt. Complete with eerie, if conveniently bright, flickering torches set into sconces on the walls, and an ornately carved marble coffin in the center, its lid rotated at just enough of a noticeable angle to imply that its occupant was no longer there.

As for Kennedy, she was leaning back against the foot of the coffin with her arms crossed and an attentive expression on her face as she watched the students filter in. If this scenario was at all creepy, she seemed totally unbothered by it.

Then, as soon as it looked like everyone was present, she pushed herself away from the coffin and dropped the program in favor of a playground setting with a large (as in conveniently sized for teenagers, though it might be a bit cramped for, say, a goliath) jungle gym setup as its centerpiece. Monkey bars, swings, slides, seesaws, a rope bridge, various ladders and ramps and stairs, the works.

And a tomato about the size of a beach ball, with teeth, just rolling casually past in the background.

"Sorry if any of that wigged you out," she said lightly, flashing everyone a quick smile. "I'm Kennedy, and I was a student here oh god ten years ago, and welcome to Practical Self-Defense. And just to avoid any letdowns later, in case reading the class description isn't your thing, this isn't going to be the kind of self-defense class where you're a certified newbie badass by the end of it. There's other classes here covering that angle already."

She started to pace around the seesaws as she continued, "See, here's the get-to-the-point-ness of it. Maybe big bad stuff is going down back home in your world all the time. Maybe you're from somewhere totally mundane, and Fandom is as much with the wacky as you're ever going to get. Doesn't matter. One way or another, being able to save your own ass is a more useful skill than being really flashy about kicking someone else's, and that's what we're gonna be focusing on here. But, since this is the first week and it helps if I know what I'm working with here, we're starting with the traditional. Introductions, I mean."

She made a point of looking from one student to another as she went on, idly picking up an entire park bench for a second before putting it back down. "So like I said, I'm Kennedy, and I graduated from this place in 2011. I'm also a Vampire Slayer, which is pretty much about what it says on the package, and that's an eight year career for me so far, not counting how I started training for that when I was in kindergarten. I had a pretty memorable training experience where me and a few other girls got surprise locked into a crypt with a vampire, not that I'm going to spring that kind of deep-end thing on all of you. On the other end of the scale, my first week here in Fandom? We had a minor invasion of oversized aggressive vegetables." She smirked at the giant toothy tomato as it rolled away and eventually blinked out of the program. "Less dire, more messy. Anyway. I wanna know your names, maybe one or two interesting facts about you if you feel like sharing, and what kind of fighting or self-defense experience you might have. Then I want you to look around this playground, imagine someone's chasing you through here, and tell me two or three things you could do, using what's around you, to try and slow 'em down or shake 'em off."

[[OCD is up! Have at.]]

suitably_heroic

Upon entering the Danger Shop, the students would find themselves confronted with a long brick hallway, at the end of which was a door, in front of which stood one solitary guard. Leaning against the brick wall a little closer by was a casual-looking (if slightly hungover and supporting a few scratches in the facial area) Atton.

"So, this is your final," he said. "Get past this guy, then deal with whatever comes next. You can use whatever tools you have at your disposal: fight, talk, stealth your way through, I don't care. Just make it out to the other side, and you're good."

He nodded at the class. "Go."

suitably_heroic

"All right, so it's exam week next week," Atton said. "I'm going to make you guys run a gauntlet, so today's practice hour."

He pointed to the holographic dummies in the corner. "Getting out of holds," he said, then he pointed towards the range with the moving targets, "Shooting," then he pointed towards the guard standing in front of a door, "Getting away," and then at the stationary dummies, "Hitting things."

He eyed the class.

"Or you can grab a partner and practice fighting again. Keep your shirts on, though. Go."

So he could get back to the important business of 1) looking like he didn't want to be here, and 2) trying not to look like he'd barely gotten any sleep last night.

suitably_heroic

They didn't really need the Danger Shop for this week's class, so Atton had relented and gone with the gym. Saved him a few hours of programming time he could spend working on something else.

There were mats laid out all over the gym itself-- one to each student.

"Today, we're working on a little less obvious part of self defense," he said. "Knowing how to take a fall, whether it's because you just got hit, or because you're literally falling off of something."

He stepped up to one of the mats. "This is never going to be completely painless, but there are ways to do it that minimize the pain and the damage, and leave you in a position where you can strike back if necessary," he said. "Now, there's a couple of important things to keep in mind. One: always keep your head up. Hit your head, and you might knock yourself out or do serious damage. There's a couple of ways to get around this-- you can train yourself to keep a hand on your head when you fall, or tuck your chin against your chest. If you're falling forward, always turn your head a little, so you don't smash your nose to powder."

He demonstrated by turning his head. Just a little. Not the whole way.

"Two, you're usually going to automatically reach out when you're falling forward. That's a good instinct; keep it in there. But make sure your palms are facing outwards. This slows your fall, and keeps you from doing something bad like breaking your wrists. Then there's the nitty-gritty, full body stuff. When falling, try to make yourself small. Fold yourself inwards as much as you can. That way, you diminish the distance between yourself and the ground before you actually hit it."

Which would be good, if only to diminish the chances of actively breaking something.

"If you're higher up, you need to roll. Yes, especially if you're falling backwards. Use whatever grip you still have on yourself to squat and curl your back."

He studied the class. "Okay, those are the basics," he said. "I'm going to demonstrate. After that, I want you guys to pair up. Just for the sake of safety. While the first person falls, the second person keeps an eye on everything going right. If it looks like it might work out badly, interfere, but don't hover too much."

Atton sat down on the mat. "First, practice the rolling thing," he said. "You want to wind up in a good position when you're done with the roll. No strain on the back. So stretch your arm out as you roll, and keep one of your legs up." He demonstrated with a quick roll back, all limbs and yet, perfect balance.

"Now, if you're going to roll forward, you have to do that differently," he said. "You plant your palm on the ground, stick the other arm between the first arm and your leg, and then let the motion carry you forward."
He rolled back forward with ease, winding up in his original position.

"Okay, practice time. Start off sitting and practice those rolls. Don't start actually falling until you're confident you got it right, and your partner agrees with you. Go."

suitably_heroic

They were in the Danger Shop today, sure, but it was set up more or less exactly like the gym with a shooting range attached. Both in the gym and as the targets in the range were dummies. Dummies whose faces provided a close, if not exactly 1:1 (both because Atton had no pictures and because he didn't want to re-traumatize any kids by making this too realistic) representations of a melodramatic evil demon grifter they might recognize.

"Hi," Atton offered. "Today, we're not so much doing self defense as self-therapy."

He pointed at a rack that hosted an array of weapons, ranging from the traditional to tire irons and a baseball bat. Then he pointed at a table full of blasters.

"Have fun," he said.

And then he sat down behind his desk.

...with the remains of his phone.

suitably_heroic

There was a note on the door of the gym.

SOMETIMES SELF-DEFENSE IS
KNOWING NOT TO DO SOMETHING STUPID
HAVE A NAP, GO HOME, GO TO THE LIBRARY, GO TO THE CLINIC
I DON'T CARE
JUST DON'T BE AN IDIOT

Helpfully, the gym was strewn with sleeping bags, just in case anyone wanted to take that nap part seriously. Atton believed in taking things seriously. At least a third of the time.

Maybe a fourth?

Anyway.

[[ class is also cancelled, but if you want to lay down in a sleeping bag, no one's stopping you ]]

suitably_heroic

Space, Atton needed to get off this island. He still wasn't sure whether it was something firing off wrong in his head whenever he was here, or something actually the matter with the island at large, but it was better when he was back on Coruscant. He was looking forward to getting back there Friday night, that was for sure.

Still, it wasn't a visibly exhausted Atton who met them at the Danger Shop. He'd dug up his old laser tag sim, because that was always good practice, and they were at that point now: time to work on the reflexes. Behind him, the area had been set up with a maze-like series of walls, most full height, some half-height. There were windows, and doors, and even the occasional spot of furniture.

"I want each of you to grab a harness," he said, "based on which team I'm assigning you to. Grab a blaster in the same color. Blast your opposing team, and you get a point. Blast someone on your own team, and you subtract a point. It's pretty simple."

Beat.

"Now go forth and conquer."

The lights in the Danger Shop dimmed.

suitably_heroic

Was it just Atton, or did parts of the island seem about as exhausted as he was? Weird. Weird enough that the notion was still troubling him when he stepped into the Danger Shop that morning, even if he was doing his best not to show it-- the weird, and his own exhaustion.

"Okay, last week we got a crash course in getting out quick," he said, "So it's probably a good idea if we spend some time working on ways to quickly disable someone."

He hit a button, and a featureless NPC appeared in the middle of the room.

"Situation one," he said, "Someone comes charging at you. When that happens, you don't want to be running away - that's futile, unless you're a real fast short-distance sprinter."

The dummy character came rushing at him. "Grab the arm, first," he called, as he did so. "Use that momentum to swing yourself around-- and then..." He pulled the dummy into a headlock, dragging it down to the ground. Then he let go and got back up.

"Another option is to step aside just so, grab their wrist and squeeze down on the pulse," he added, "If that's more your speed."

He rolled his shoulders. "Situation two," he said, "Somebody's coming at you with a gun, and you don't think they'll let you go easily. In that case, try to get in close. Pretend like you're going to give them your wallet or something. As you're in close enough..."

He approached the dummy character, moving out of the line of fire the dummy's outstretched arm hinted at. Then he grabbed the dummy's wrist and-- "Slam down hard on the elbow joint," he said. "Then force the gun up." He shoved the dummy's arm up. "They'll probably drop the gun and you can take it. Pepper spray's also a good option here, if you've got it on you, or something like it."

Atton looked towards the class. "Okay, that's two options for today," he said. "Pick a partner or grab a dummy and go."

suitably_heroic

Today's self defense class would be taking place in a large hall with multiple exits. Each exit was guarded by an identical burly guard. The two exits along the left wall were closer together, while the north wall had only one. Every other wall had two at a similar distance.

"So," Atton said, "Sometimes, you're going to wander into a situation you might have trouble getting out of. Say, because you've pissed off whoever's running the local club and now they want to box you in."

Yeah, he wasn't even going to pretend this wasn't about Sparkle's stupid mess from two weeks ago. It was a good lesson for everybody anyway.

"Of course, it's not always going to be as obvious a set-up as this. Sometimes you might run into trouble on the street and have someone blocking your way. Maybe you're even in a fight with somebody you know in your own house, and you suddenly realize they're a whole lot bigger and stronger than you." Atton shrugged. "Whatever the case, lesson one is this: avoiding the fight is always better than getting in the fight, unless you're absolutely sure you can win. And even then, avoiding might spare a bunch of people some injuries they don't need."

He walked up to one of the big burly guys, who didn't budge. (He hadn't activated their AI yet.)

"Which is why your first order of business in a situation like this, is to try and catch your opponent by surprise," he said. "Play the feeble, naive card if you can, or downplay yourself otherwise. Move yourself in close, and then--"

He whacked the guy very hard in the middle of the sternum. The guy doubled over, winded. "...Hit him in the solar plexus," he said. "That'll tap a lot of people out for just a few seconds. And a few seconds is all you need to--" he opened the door behind the guy, "...Get the hell out."

He pulled the door back shut. "If that doesn't work, though, you better get ready, because you're about to have a fight. If the guy is bigger than you, which is likely, hold up your arms to protect your head like this." He demonstrated quickly. "Bigger person also means bigger reach, so respect that. Keep moving, use your speed. Parry, don't block-- the smacking a guy in the bottom of the arm and redirecting the blow thing we already practiced a few classes back. If you parry, you might even be able to get a few blows in right after, because his reach is neutralized. Get in close if you can, hit him in the solar plexus or the head."

He looked back to the class. "Again, the point is to disable your opponent long enough, fast enough, that you can get out. Covertly. The last thing you want to be doing is drawing a ton of attention to yourself, because then everyone in this room is going to come swarming, and they'll probably call their friends."

Finally, he stepped on the big burly guy's foot. "And finally, never, ever try to play fair. You got a bottle on you to threaten him with? He might bail, or you might improve your chances of knocking him out. Got access to spices? Some pepper to the eyes will buy you the time you need to get out. Sand, hot sauce, all great things to go to the head with. If you want to go really drastic, cut the guy's knees. Your targets are gonna be knees, groin, eyes, bridge of the nose, kidney, heart, neck, throat, and the solar plexus. That's where it hurts."

Beat.

"And then get the hell out as soon as possible."

He motioned towards the class. "Now it's your turn," he said. "Try and get out of this one."

suitably_heroic

To say Atton wasn't in the mood to teach would be a colossal understatement, but unfortunately, it wasn't the kind of thing he could bail on.

So when they arrived in the Danger Shop, it would be to a large simulation of a beach front. Clear sky, nothing but sand and sea for miles... except for the tables sitting in front of Atton. One had thick black jumpsuits laid out over it. The other had...

"Water balloons," Atton said. "Okay, this is stretching the class a little, but let's face it, none of you are going to be paying attention anyway. Put on the jumpsuit over your clothes so we don't get any shenanigans with clinging t-shirts--" because he knew you people. He knew you people. "--Then grab some water balloons. Then, you can engage in mortal water balloon combat with each other."

Beat.

"That's it. Go!"

suitably_heroic

Never fear, class! Meeting you in the gym this week was Atton again, looking every bit like nothing at all had happened last week. (He wasn't exactly all the way back up to snuff, but he'd made sure they weren't going to do anything in class today that'd give him away. Bad enough Sparkle knew about any of it.) There were tables and gym equipment arranged all over the gym, flipped over and sometimes stacked on top of each other to form a sort of maze.

"I was going to mix it up with some target practice in the Danger Shop today," he said. "But then the power went out. I'm told there's a generator, or something, but I don't really want to try my luck. We don't really need it anyway."

He nodded at the table in front of him. "These are practice blasters," he said. "If you hit someone else with them, it won't do anything. It's just light." Beat. "But don't do that anyway. Your job today is not to shoot each other, but to shoot some moving targets."

He dumped a bag on the table, pushed it open, and hit an unseen switch. A whole lot of little round things suddenly took to the air, floating around in a little cluster. "These are remotes," he said. "They can shoot back, but since this is a beginner class, I've programmed them not to. If they do, it's because they broke. Which happens sometimes. If it breaks, call me and I'll be happy to come over and grind it into a paste. Stupid droids."

The only reason he was even relying on them was because Bao-Dur had given him a crash course on remotes way back when that left him sort of confident they wouldn't break in, like, the next hour.

"Anyway, as soon as I hit the right button, these remotes are going to spread out all over this gym. Your job is to go out and hit as many of them as you can with these blasters. You hit one, it gets recorded here--" he tapped a datapad in front of him, "--as a point. You hit one of your fellow students, hey, two points get docked. Don't hit your fellow students."

There.

"Now go. Shoot things. It's therapeutic!"

suitably_heroic

If Atton was looking distracted today, well, he'd been tracing Visas' journey these past few days and a lot of it wasn't adding up. He was worried, and with his mind off doing that, it was easy for him to slip further back into his old casual whatever-I-don't-care persona.

"Today we're going to be practicing getting out of holds," he said, gesturing at a simulation of two faceless yellow human-shaped people standing side-by-side. "Usually, not actually something you run into a lot during Fandom invasions, but pretty useful in real life."

One of the two faceless people took the other into a headlock.

"That one, for example," he said. "Now, a headlock is gonna seem difficult to get out of, but it's not. First, make sure to turn your head so the other party doesn't get to choke you." Pretty useful, really. "Then, distract him. Stomp on something, I don't know. Finally, you reach up and give him a good shove in the nose."

The figures followed his instructions to the letter; the headlocker stumbled back, leaving the headlockee free to turn around and grab his wrist.

"Then there's the wrist hold. Your first instinct is going to be to pull back, but that just makes your attacker stronger," he said. "Instead, squat down a little and bend your elbow until it's sticking well past the hold. It'll become uncomfortable for your attacker to hold on, and he'll let go."

As the fake people demonstrated.

"Finally," Atton said, gesturing towards the avatars, one of whom was now trying to bear hug the other from behind, arms around their waist. "If someone tries that, and you don't want them to, you're going to want to drop your weight down, then hit him in the head with your elbows. Or stomp down on those feet again, that's always a nice, sensitive target. Worst case scenario, you have to try and break those fingers, but I wouldn't recommend that for today's practice."

He gave a little wave of his hand. "Find a partner, or use one of the avatars," he said. "Go practice."

suitably_heroic

Class was meeting at the gym this week, and as the students would be able to tell as they entered the room, that wasn't the only change. Atton was there, looking exasperated, and he wasn't alone; next to him stood a tall woman with white hair wearing white robes and a white hood and... okay, she was just very white, okay? Let's go with that.

"Hey, class," Atton said. "So apparently somebody back home--" Mical, "let Brianna here know that I was teaching self defense, and she graciously offered her help in teaching you the basics of hand-to-hand combat."

"You were planning to teach Echani techniques," Brianna said. "I'm Echani. These are mine to share, not yours."

Atton rolled his eyes. "You might want to take that up with, oh, all of the Republic's special forces," he said. "Anyway, as some of you already know, there's this martial arts called Echani which was invented by - you guessed it - the Echani. The Echani..."

( Believe that to master one's self, one must master hand-to-hand combat. )

suitably_heroic

This week around, the Danger Shop had been set up to resemble Fandom. Hey, the sim was in the system, might as well make as much use of it as possible, right?

Atton himself came stomping in more or less on time. "Okay," he yelled, "I had an entire conversation with my mirror this morning that was about as embarrassing as it was traumatizing, which means the island is being a--" ...string of mean Twi'lekki words, apparently, "--and I don't want to deal with it because all of my defense mechanisms are built on a network of carefully constructed lies."

Beat.

"Ugh."

He slapped a blaster onto a table of other blasters.

"So, instead of starting off with the fighting moves I had planned, today, we're shooting things. Silently. Grab one, grab a friend, work on your reflexes."

He pointed at Sparkle. "You, come see me after class, I have something for you. Don't ask questions. That's good advice for everyone here today, actually."

He smashed his fist down on a red button and not entirely realistic-looking monsters suddenly spawned all over town. There.

suitably_heroic

The class had been told to meet up in the Danger Shop. There, they found a simulation that covered both a gun range and a bunch of punching bags. There was no one else there.

After a couple of minutes, their teacher came swaggering in - he wore a dark Jedi tunic with a brown-and-white jacket slung over it casually. The combination didn't quite work, but somehow it worked for him. "So, you've all had some time to poke around," Atton said. "Hope you took advantage of the opportunity, because it's all the lead-in you're getting."

Beat.

"Well, except for this. Hi, I'm Atton Rand. I'm teaching this class because this island can get pretty dangerous and I'd be marginally sad if some of you died. If you got put in here by mistake when you actually want to be in the advanced fighting class, let the office know, because I'm by and large going to assume you people barely know how to take the wings off a fly."

He clapped his hands. "That being said, I want to know where you people are at. Yell your name, hit that punching bag as hard as you can, then run over to the range, blast the target, and, I don't know, tell me something about how you feel about beating things up. Now go, I don't have all day."

Yes, he did, but he was trying to get them motivated.

"... and if anyone wants to be my TA, come see me after class."

jaegerbombdad

"Congratulations," Herc said as the class assembled in the Danger Shop. "You've made it through the semester. One last hurdle, though: today you'll face a simulation designed to test your abilities." Each simulation was different ~~and moddable~~, designed to what he thought the student's level was. "Thanks for making my first go at this teaching thing not so bad; now let's get started."

jaegerbombdad

"Right," Herc said, no pleasantries, no preamble, "pair up, start practicing your katas, correct your partner when they screw it up. You know the drill. Anyone with any questions, come see me." Pretenses of questions as excuses to give the bulldog belly rubs would also be accepted, of course.

notajaegerbomb.livejournal.com

"So, I know we did a movie last week, but Mr. Hansen couldn't make it in today, so we've got another easy day," Raleigh said. "Better than a day spent doing laps, right?"

And he even picked a fun movie! With a vague connection to the subject.

"Next time I'll make popcorn," Raleigh promised, putting the DVD in.

jaegerbombdad

"I thought it would be nice to do something a little different today," Herc said, which was not at all code for 'he's still not used to this teaching thing and forgot to prepare a class,' no, why would you think that? "We're going to watch a film, so you can all get a bit of a break and watch some of these techniques in action. Enjoy."

jaegerbombdad

"Right," Herc said to get the students' attention at the beginning of class. "Remember your kata? I hope you do, even though it's been a few weeks, because you should be practicing on your own time. This is not a 'learn in class and then don't worry about it until you need it' kind of subject. And now you're probably thinking, 'oh, great, we're gonna have to do that bloody thing again,' but you would be wrong. Today you're going to start learning a new kata. Pay close attention."

Herc demonstrated the new kata for them a couple of times, then said, "Got that?" and, "Good," without waiting for a reply. "Pair up and help each other get the hang of it."

jaegerbombdad

"Welcome back," Herc said to his assembled students this week. "I hope you enjoyed the break. This week we're going to talk about staying safe while traveling and being in an unfamiliar place. This week isn't going to be so much about physical self-defense, but these are still all things all of you need to know. The first thing is a rule you should abide by at home, too, which is, don't get too drunk, and don't drink anything if you don't know what it is or you've left it unattended for any length of time, but this applies extra in a place where you might not speak the language or understand all the customs. If you do get a little too tipsy, take a cab or some other secure method of transportation back to where you're staying. It may be expensive, but there are worse things than being broke.

"Now, the main thing you're going to have to worry about is theft. Yes, someone can swipe your wallet at any time, but when you're away from home and you don't have access to all your usual resources, it's even more of a pain to sort out. Plus, there's your passport to think about. So, the first thing is to plan ahead: make photocopies of your passport, credit card, and any other important documents, leave one copy with someone you trust at home, and keep another in your luggage. That'll make things simpler if anything happens to your things. Second, only carry what you need for the day with you, not a lot of cash or five credit cards or anything like that. And be aware of your surroundings and your stuff. Keep an eye out for trouble, but also be aware of where your wallet or purse is, and double-check when you leave somewhere that you haven't left your jacket or bag behind. If you're going to carry a bag, make it a crossbody bag that's harder to get to than a handbag or a backpack. And don't be too flashy. A day of sightseeing is not the time to wear head-to-toe designer goods and expensive jewelry. It's a bit like a 'mug me' sign.

"And finally, remember that it's not worth it. By which I mean, if someone does try to mug you, give them your stuff. If you have a decoy wallet or a gym bag with your dirty clothes and no cash in it, by all means, give them that and keep the real thing, but ultimately your stuff can be replaced, your life can't.

"Now. I want everyone to self-evaluate how they did on their most recent trip, whether that was the one we took over the break or some other time, and tell me one thing you could have done better to stay safe."

jaegerbombdad

"Guess what?" Herc asked, and then, in case everyone hadn't guessed yet, he held up his newly de-casted arm and wiggled his fingers for them. "Not going to pretend it's good as new yet, but it's serviceable. This week we're going to work on making do with what you've got. Sometimes you need a weapon, and sometimes, well, you don't exactly have a weapon. What you do have is what's to hand: a pen might not be all that sharp, but if you stab someone with enough force with it, in the right place, you can at least give them a hell of a bruise, and it might be enough to get them to let go of you. Or if you haven't got anything else, throw a handful of dirt in their face. There's almost always something you can use." Like an oil tanker as a Louisville Slugger. "So, we've got an assortment of objects here, and let's brainstorm. How could you use them in a fight?"

jaegerbombdad

"I hope you remember your kata from last week and have been practicing," Herc said, "because this week, you're going to do it again. Except you're going to do it with your partner. I want you to match each other move for move. Mess up, start over. Keep going until you get it right. This is about focus and control," he explained, and, okay, it was also about How to Pilot a Jaeger 101, but he knew at least one kid in this room was going to actually do that and who knew, some of the others might, too, in their universes. If they had Jaegers.

"If you haven't been practicing and need a refresher course--well, first off, I wish you would, this isn't the sort of course material you can just learn in class and then forget about until you need it, and second, I'm sure one of our TAs will be happy to demonstrate for you. So pair off, and let's get started."

jaegerbombdad

"First off, I want to apologize for my absence last week," Herc said at the beginning of this week's class. "I was unavoidably called away." To shout at members of the UN about how they couldn't rule out the possibility of a repeat threat just yet, so shuttering the Jaeger program would still be a very bad idea. Honestly, he would have rather been here. He didn't have the temperament for politics. "This week we're going to practice a simple kata, or form. The idea is to practice a series of movements until they're so ingrained in your muscle memory that you don't have to think about them, so that if you have to use them in a real fight your body will act without your brain really engaging. Your TAs will ~~handwavily~~ demonstrate, then I want you to pair up and critique each other. Let's get started."

notajaegerbomb.livejournal.com

Raleigh was in front of the class today with Max, but Herc was nowhere in sight.

"There was a last minute thing back home that Mr. Hansen had to do," Raleigh said. It was PPDC business, not that Raleigh had been told, though. "Which means we're on our own for class today. We're going to go over the basics of self defense that everyone can use."

There was even a fun hand out for everyone to look over! Check that out!

"Step one is to be aware of your surroundings," Raleigh said. "Is the area not so great? You're probably going to want to be more vigilant then. Step two is being loud when someone comes after you. Shout stuff."

Like encouragement. Maybe your next attack. You know. Normal stuff.

"And three, go for the weak spots on the body. Nose, eyes, throat, groin--" That one got a wince. "--knees and shins. If someone is attacking you, you can't be afraid to do them enough damage to get to safety."

He smiled brightly. "Okay, how about you guys pair off and go over a few moves on the worksheet?"

jaegerbombdad

The students should have received a note asking them to meet in the gym, where they would find a tall, scruffy ginger Australian with a military bearing and one arm in a sling. Next to him sat a happy-looking, slightly overweight brown and white bulldog. "Right, listen up," Herc said to his students in a carrying sort of voice. "I'm Hercules Hansen, that's Mister Hansen to you lot, and this is Hand-to-Hand Combat and Self Defense. If you're in the wrong room, that's impressive, because there aren't any other classes on right now by my schedule, but no harm done. I'm just gonna tell you up front, I'm new to this teaching business, but if you think that means you're gonna get one over on me, think again.

"This is Max," he said, indicating the dog at his feet, "Max has run of the classroom, but please do not disrupt class by calling him over or playing with him. I want you paying attention to me, not my s--" he hesitated for a moment, his jaw tightening a little, then said firmly, "Not to my dog. Don't worry, he knows better than to get underfoot while you're working. You may pet Max before or after class, or if he happens to wander over to you during class, as long as you're still paying attention. Anyone caught giving Max treats will be reminded to be sneakier in the future. Any questions?"

He paused for a moment, then bulled right on. "No? Good. I think the name of the class gives you a pretty good idea of what it's about, so let's get started. I want your names, so I know who's who, I want to know what your experience level is, and...one interesting fact about you." Maybe it would help him remember their names. "In the future if you could show up in workout clothes and try to get warmed up before class starts, that would be great, but we're not gonna do much today so you should be fine. I obviously can't demonstrate some things for the next few weeks," he added, glancing down at his injured arm, "so if someone would like to volunteer to demonstrate, I would appreciate that. See me after class. We can make you a teaching assistant. Otherwise I'll pick someone at random at the beginning of class. Right, let's get started."

furious-maximus.livejournal.com

Max was actually more amused than anything else about the whole uniform thing. Especially since he'd taken the excuse of his class' subject matter to dress in something a bit more comfortable. A loose-fitting karate gi was way better than those official uniforms, any day of the week.

He was also amused at the plans for today's class, too. And his grin made that clear. So when students arrived to find themselves in a passable facsimile of a modern karate dojo, they might be a mite suspicious.

"Welcome to your final exam in Self Defense," Max announced with a grin. He waved toward the back of the room where there were a pair of clearly-labeled locker rooms. "You all know the drill by now," no they didn't, "go ahead and change into your gis and then come out and you'll each demonstrate the katas you learned this semester." Which was to say: none. At least not from Max.

In the changing rooms were carefully arranged (and labeled) uniforms for every student. Max was apparently trusting that they could figure out how to put them on properly on their own. He'd give them five minutes to change since he was feeling generous, too. Once they were back Max launched into a quick lecture.

"Remember that the martial arts are a way to focus the mind and train the body. They are part of making you a better student. Both in school, and in life. These techniques are not about fighting any external opponent, but are instead about the fight with oneself. How do you stay disciplined so that you can focus on what's important? That's what I hope you've learned in this class." Wow. That totally sounded like something he'd googled right before class, too.

"Now, everyone spread out, and we'll go through our katas." Max kind of wished he'd been able to sneak in a video camera because this promised to be amusing. "Oh, and if anyone wants to discuss anything we learned this semester, I'll have office hours on Wednesday and Friday."

furious-maximus.livejournal.com

This week the Danger Shop was set up like a regular classroom.

"So we're coming up on the end of the semester, and you all know what that means. Your favorite part of class: finals." He waited for the applause to die down. Or just to smirk at everyone in amusement. One of those two.

"So with that coming up, we're going to do some review. Today that's going to take the form of each of you discussing something you feel like you've learned or mastered this semester." Which Max was totally going to use to infer what they felt least comfortable with. Because he was nice like that.

"Which means that this week you're getting a bit of a break from running around and doing a lot of work." Well, physical work. "We'll go around the room in a carefully determined order," that was, random order, "and everyone will talk about one thing that they feel that they've learned this semester, or at least a skill they feel that they've improved."

Easy, peasy, huh?

furious-maximus.livejournal.com

"So it's that time of year again, I take it," Max said with an unsympathetic (some might even call it wickedly amused) grin as the students settled into a Danger Shop simulation of a standard high school gymnasium. "Which actually gives us a great ~~excuse~~ opportunity to focus our thinking around self-defense on how to deal with needing to defend someone else as well as yourself, especially when they're in no position to defend themselves."

"While I understand that the usual inrush of tiny, adorable mess-makers was somewhat offset this year by some older arrivals, let's just focus on the former."

Which explained those bundles that looked suspiciously like the droid babies that got handed out in Ethics, complete with slings for carrying them. "I've ~~handwavily~~ divide you into two groups. Everyone's going to get a sling," and it's attendant droid baby, "then one group will take on the role of the aggressors, while the other will be defending. Defenders need to hold out for five minutes, keeping both themselves and their charges safe from the aggressors. Now, we don't want anyone getting hurt, so safe for you means staying on your feet. Safe for your charges means them not crying." And given how sensitive the droid babies were, that could pretty much be caused by being touched.

"After five minutes, we'll switch sides." And then they'd just switch back and forth for the whole class. "You've got five minutes to get ready. And discuss strategy if you want."

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