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Today everyone would find the Danger Shop pre-programed to appear like a steep mountain, with beautiful clear weather. Trebor was happily sitting in the dirt, playing with some flowers he had plucked from somewhere.

"Good morning," Ghanima said, as the class arrived. "Today we are studying mountains, and rock climbing, this time not on an active volcano."

"The important thing to remember about mountains is that each one is different, depending on the size and location," she said. "High mountains, and mountains located close to the Earth's poles, reach into the colder layers of the atmosphere. They are consequently subject to glaciation, and erosion through frost action. Such processes produce the peak shape. Some of these mountains have glacial lakes, created by melting glaciers. Mountains can be eroded and weathered, altering their characteristics over time, so even if you've been to an area once, it may not be the same as before."

"Tall mountains have different climatic conditions at the top than at the base, and will thus have different life zones at different altitudes. The flora and fauna found in these zones tend to become isolated since the conditions above and below a particular zone will be inhospitable to those organisms. These isolated ecological systems are known as sky islands and/or microclimates."

"Mountains are also generally less preferable for human habitation than lowlands; the weather is often harsher, and there is little level ground suitable for agriculture. At very high altitudes, there is less oxygen in the air and less protection against solar radiation Acute mountain sickness, caused by hypoxia - a lack of oxygen in the blood, affects over half of lowlanders who spend more than a few hours above 3,500 meters, or 11,483 feet."

"Today, you'll be learning how to scale these majestic landmarks." Ghanima pressed a button on the remote, and brightly colored rocks appeared on the mountainside, as she gestured to the gear beside her. "There's easy, medium, hard, and expert trails here today, you just have to follow the color-coded tape paths. Or, you can try making your own goals. Race each other, work in teams, or get a feel for some of the unconventional maneuvers you might have do in order to move about a mountain."

"I just ask that you warm-up on the easy and medium trails first, no matter how advanced you think yourself."

"If you are afraid of heights, then grab a walking-stick. There are some hiking trails up the mountain, and I'd like you to take a walk, and acquaint yourself with the local flora and fauna."

And yes, there were mountain goats. They were judging you.

intheeyeofthebeholding

"You're in the forest, you've found a likely campsite and set a fire, you've got the wagon and animals settled for the night," Jon told them. "You're settling down yourself when you hear some movement in the underbrush, and an owlbear cub pokes their head out, sniffing one of the horses. What do you do?"

good_for_six

There was one teacher here today, which was a massive improvement on last week. "So sorry I had urgent pirate business come up last week, but I trust Aphra had everything in hand?"

There was a scrabbling sound from the vents.

Isabela paused for a long moment, then shrugged and continued "Anyway, we haven't had a chance to catch up yet, so today we'll have a movie about the important social aspect of bartending."

snipsnspecks

Today found the class standing in a line. "Welcome to adulthood," Anakin said with a sigh. "It's full of useless lines."

In this case a useless line that the class was at the very back of. "Ideally, with this kind of line, everyone in it has everything they need ready to go and it's just a matter of handing your datawork over."

It was not an ideal line either.

"But inevitable there is someone in the line who has never been allowed out of their house before," Anakin said, "and has no idea what they are doing in this line, or with their life in general."

"Even when that's not the case, sometimes they'll have changed their procedures without informing people," Ahsoka helpfully added.

"Or someone is sending 43 packages to 18 different addresses," Anakin said. "So...welcome to the post office."

Look, that probably coincidental, not at all ominous clap of thunder could mean anything.

intheeyeofthebeholding

Jon wasn't at all hiding from everyone in his office. Any of his students could find him here!

But okay, he wasn't feeling up to all the extra socializing of the big to-do outside.

At least this year, Hannibal wasn't teaching, so Jon didn't have to deal with that whole thing. The man seemed to delight in frightening him.

(Spoiler alert: he did.)

[Belatedly open office hours!]

imafuturist

It was a class before a fun weekend and Steve and Tony knew their audience. Thus the television on a rolling cart, because movie day hit different when it came in on the cart. Where did they get the cart? Don't ask questions like that here. This was a school, there was always a rolling cart with a tube TV on it somewhere.

"So, movie day," Tony said. "You'll all be off at the little get together for your guests soon, so we went easy on you."

"We're watching ~~The Matrix~~The Grid, Steve said. "I hear it's good."

"It's good for what it was," Tony insisted. "I swear."

"Is it good on physics?" Steve asked.

The pause there said a lot. "Enjoy the movie!"

ifwebeworthy

"Last week we talked about vaccines," Don told his students. "This week, we're going to talk about why they work, and what causes most forms of disease, which is germs. Now, I touched on this last week, but for centuries, the prevailing theory, in the West, at least, was that miasma, or something bad in the air, caused disease, although in different times and places you saw people starting to see the holes in that theory via observation and logic--noticing how disease could pass directly from person to person, usually. Or maybe they would figure out that hey, wait a minute, it's the water that's causing this particular disease, but they still didn't know why. That's because the human eye can't see viruses or bacteria, aka 'germs.' They're too tiny.

"In 1674 a Dutchman named Anton van Leeuwenhoek designed and built his own microscope, a device capable of magnifying our vision of something by many, many times, and observed the first single-celled organisms in a drop of water from a pond. Over the next couple of centuries, scientists learned more and more about microbiology, and by the late eighteen hundreds what they had learned solidified into germ theory: transmissible diseases are caused by 'germs,' these microscopic organisms that invade the human body and have to be fought off by the immune system. Most germs are either bacteria or viruses, and for practical purposes what you need to know is that you can fight a bacterial infection with antibiotics, but not a viral one. Viral infections are a little more complicated.

"This week we have a microscope with a slide featuring a droplet of pond water, just like the one Anton van Leeuwenhoek would have observed back in the day." Although this one was from Fandom's pond, so Don had taken a quick peek through the viewfinder before class to make sure there wasn't anything really weird in there. "I'd like everyone to come up and take a look, and see just how much is going on under the surface."

needsacatchphrase

Your teachers weren't late! Well. Teacher. She wasn't late! By much! But she did show up there!

"Sorry, sorry. Cara is a chipmunk?" Jane said like this was meant to punish her specifically. And maybe it was. Maybe that was how fate worked! "So, we'll be doing a movie until she feels better. And more like herself."

Because one had to happen, right?

Right!

"So, sit tight and I'll get the movie started."

noonedecidesmyfate

There was a pile of books on the desk when Belle arrived. There was also a stack of book covers and a roll of book tape and "help we're naked" note.

"I suppose that will be my day then," Belle said to the one gremlin she could see. "Covering books. So,so many books."

atreideslioness

Today when the students arrived, the Danger Shop was already set to today's terrain. Students would see pristine beaches stretching for miles, with an island about a half-mile offshore, and a very enthused Trebor already trying to put on his own flippers.

"Good morning, students, I present your compensation for having been without class while I was indisposed at home," Ghanima said cheerfully, although she was well away from the water, next to a trunk of gear. "Politics called, and as the heir apparent to the Imperium, Trebor was required to be in attendance." Because Ghanima did not let her son travel to Dune alone, at least not yet.

"You may be wondering what sort of terrain you need to learn about with a beach. Rather than build sandcastles, however, today we'll be learning about scuba diving. Water covers most of this planet, so being able to move through it is an important ability."

"Scuba diving may be performed for a number of reasons, both personal and professional. Most people begin though recreational diving, which is performed purely for enjoyment and has a number of distinct technical disciplines to increase interest underwater, such as cave diving, wreck diving, ice diving and deep diving."

"Divers may be employed professionally to perform tasks underwater. Most of these commercial divers are employed to perform tasks related to the running of a business involving deep water, including civil engineering tasks such as in oil exploration, underwater welding or offshore construction. Commercial divers may also be employed to perform tasks specifically related to marine activities, such as naval diving, including the repair and inspection of boats and ships, salvage of wrecks or underwater fishing, like spear fishing."

"Other specialist areas of diving include military diving, with a long history of military frogmen in various roles. They can perform roles including direct combat, infiltration behind enemy lines, placing mines or using a manned torpedo, bomb disposal or engineering operations. In civilian operations, many police forces operate police diving teams to perform search and recovery or search and rescue operations and to assist with the detection of crime which may involve bodies of water. In some cases diver rescue teams may also be part of a fire department or lifeguard unit."

She went on to explain how to suit up properly, as well as the mechanics of scuba diving. "Today we're looking at ways you might need to use the ocean, and scuba, to achieve a goal," Ghanima continued. "There's three scenarios today, and you can choose just one, or all, if you have the time."

"So suit up, and enjoy the water."

jedigrammarians

There was no bar in the Danger Shop today. There was also no Isabela.

There was however a tooka. One that was rapidly disappearing into the vents. Probably nothing to worry about.

Uh, enjoy your free period?

carbsliftthespirit

"All right, folks!" Raiden said once his group had gathered at Portalocity, "We've got a busy morning ahead of us, so listen up. We're headed to beautiful Vermont, because, uh...it's fall, and if you can go to Vermont in the fall you should definitely do that. For the unfamiliar, Vermont is a state, part of the United States of America we're currently in, but up north of here, and they are in peak fall color right now, so be sure to bring your camera. Or...your phones," since that was what everyone used now.

"We've got a few stops planned. First, we'll be going to Bragg Farm to learn about how maple syrup is made and try some maple-based treats, before we head to the Cabot Cheese store to try some locally produced cheeses. After that, we'll be going to the Yates Family Orchard, where you can pick and sample twenty-eight different varieties of apple, so you're bound to find your favorite, plus try all sorts of goodies made with them, like fresh cider and fresh cider donuts." A pause as Raiden thought about those donuts. "And then, if we have time and you guys feel up for it, we'll swing by the King Arthur Baking Company bakery, cafe, and store." They might be tired out after the apple picking, but like...Raiden needed specialty flour. "These locations are too far apart to walk to, and portaling would just be a waste of the views, so I've hired a van to take us around. So let's go meet our driver and get started!"

sith_happened

Today's classroom was set up with soft sofas, blankets, tea, and tissues. "A terrible part of everyday life," Anakin said through a stuffed nose, "is the germs people insist upon sharing."

"Even the ones that logically shouldn't jump species barriers," Ahsoka added, with a lot more grumpiness and less serenity than usual, but, well, Togruta had a lot more skull to have headaches with than humans.

"So today we learn how to slow down," Anakin said, "and hydrate. And take naps, even on a work day."

"And be very quiet," Ahsoka added.

rebelseekspizza

They were back in the Danger Shop. This time, it looked like a bog-standard hotel bar, with a lithe young man with dark blonde hair and glasses on sitting hunched over a book at the bar itself.

"There's been a string of ritual murders around town, and this guy has been sighted near all of them," Dante said, sprawled idly in a large chair. "He's also been sniffing around the mayor's daughter. The mayor is convinced he's the killer."

He inclined his head towards the guy. "His name is Brad," he said. "Go interrogate him." Beat. "The murders are really fucking horrifying, by the way."

Just in case anyone needed motivation.

retired_queen

"Today we're discussing what to wear on a hike." Leda said, once everyone was settled. "The biggest thing, apparently, is no cotton. I forgot to write down why but all the information I found said that cotton is bad.

"Whatever you wear for your base layer should be moisture-wicking, which if you don't know means it absorbs your sweat, moves it to the outside of the layer where it evaporates quickly. On this world, polyester, and nylon, which are synthetic fibers, I think, are your best bet along with merino wool. Merino by the way is a breed of sheep, not a mystical creature.

"As with everything, a lot is going to depend on where you're going. If you're going to be doing something like the Pacific Coast Trail, with a variety of terrains it might be a bit trickier but there's stops along the way where you should be able to switch out equipment and resupply.

"Which...will be easier if you have someone who can be mailing shit to you. I'm...not sure what to do if you don't. Which I should figure out."

Did she still have any contact info for folks in the World? Maybe her daughter Sila did.

"Anyway for the base layer, a t-shirt and leggings are good, though for the warmer climes shorts will do. Or just, you know, pants. Those can also work as a second layer along with a fleece vest or warmer long sleeved shirt. Then for when weather happens, something water slash wind proof...or resistant, still not sure what the difference there is, for both upper and lower body. And then, a fourth warmer layer for when you're done for the day.

"Your unmentionables, just fun to say should be something that won't irritate or chafe, and regulate moisture. That just seems like good advice even when you're not hiking.

"And THEN! Your feet. Socks. Wear socks. Or go barefoot maybe I don't know. I personally would probably go with thicker socks for extra shock absorption and to keep my feet from sliding around but there seems to be some wiggle room there. No pun regretted. And of course shoes are a bit of a 'whatever works for you' thing. I was going to go with boots but I'm having second thoughts on that. The main thing seems to be that they fit good.

"Once again, I ask those of you from worlds or times unlike where we are, for your input."

imafuturist

Today, the danger shop was empty. Well. Not empty, the teachers were there along with the controls for the system. But there wasn't a simulation playing this time around. Which meant this week was going to be a prep week!

"Hello, and welcome back," Tony said. "Today we're looking into roller coasters."

"Which are swell, but only if your stomach can handle it," Steve said dryly.

Cyclone, you'll never be Steve's favorite.

"So, you'll have all of today to play around and test things before we give them a go next week, alright?" Tony asked. "Go have fun."

ifwebeworthy

"First off, I want to apologize for not being around the last few weeks," Don told his class. "I was dealing with some...personal stuff." Well, he hadn't been, Thor had. Personal stuff that involved telling Tony Stark to walk home. (This is why we don't clone our dead friends, Tony.)

On the one hand, they'd found Heimdall, so Thor was no longer the only living Asgardian and they were making progress on finding more. On the other hand, Don didn't know how much longer there was going to be time for him to have a meaningful existence in once Asgard was fully restored. But that was a problem for the future. Today's problem was...

"Vaccines! Did I tell you about vaccines in our first class? If I didn't: please go to the clinic and talk to them about a vaccine schedule to catch you up so you don't get measles and die. You see, illnesses are caused by germs, not bad air or whatever the current theory may be wherever you're from. Germs are usually either bacteria or viruses, tiny life forms invisible to the human eye that just want to reproduce and use you as a host to do it, and illnesses are your body fighting them off. To help your body fight them off, we invented vaccines, which sort of train your immune system--the part of your body that fights disease--to already know how to destroy the germ that causes a particular illness when it encounters it. All you have to do is get a shot at the clinic and you won't get smallpox. Actually, you won't get smallpox at all. Through an aggressive vaccine campaign, we eliminated smallpox altogether. No one gets smallpox any more. Pretty cool, huh? So, yeah. Vaccines, get some.

"Oh, and they don't cause autism. The guy who started that whole thing admitted he faked the whole study to get attention and money. Fuck that guy. Any questions?"

stykera

“Today's desserts have no candy pumpkins or pumpkin spice coffee in them,” Stark said. “No pumpkins at all, actually. But I do have plenty of the candy to share.” It was literally falling from the sky, after all.

“Today's dessert is cookies! There are an endless number of different cookies you can make. Sometimes they're called biscuits but biscuits here are something else and not usually sweet but that's just the words and…nevermind. Today we have what are called cookies here. Different types because there really are too many to name. Chocolate chip is one of my favorites. I don't have any snickerdoodles but some people like those. ~~Probably Hannibal due to the people content.~~ Very cinnamony. Peanut butter cookies are very good. Some people hate oatmeal raisin but I like them. You can make all sorts of fruity cookies. Lemon and orange and cranberry and strawberry and raspberry…”

Stark let his voice trail off for a moment then he shook his head a little and continued. “And if you don't want to make your own cookies the bakery has plenty or you can buy them from a store. Oreos are great except sometimes they have very strange flavors. Very, very strange.” He had not tried the Chicken and Waffle Oreos. Yet.

“Some cookies are very simple but some are very complex. I have a recipe for chocolate chip ones we can all try, if you like, or you can just eat what I brought. I brought…a lot.” That was quite the understatement. He'd gone overboard baking and buying this week. Just go with it.

“Do any of you have a favorite cookie? Least favorite? One you like to make?”

noonedecidesmyfate

Belle smelled faintly of pumpkin spice and coffee when she arrived in the library. Washing her face before her shift had not gone as planned.

The gremlins were not, she thought, pumpkin spice scented but she was not willing to get close enough to tell for sure. One had a plastic pumpkin full of candy pumpkins it had collected and was setting them up in a very elaborate design that Belle thought quite interesting.

There was also a pile of books with a large FREE sign on them.

"It's a library," she said. "They are all meant to be free to read!"

wrongkindofsith

Today the Danger Shop resembled that most unmistakable of locations, a Waffle House at three in the morning, NPCakin wiping down the counters as a fry cook ladled batter onto the grill.

"Today we'll be talking about opponents to not fight." Did Jane mean the fry cook? Yes. Yes, she did.

"No matter how good you think you are, there's always someone better." Like the fry cook.

"Or someone who just doesn't care and will mess you up." Again, like the fry cook. They seemed so unassuming from here, didn't they?

"Luckily, these people will often know they have nothing to prove, so they won't start anything." They were just here to make delicious carbs and grease. "Ending things on the other hand."

Another patron burst in through the door, immediately yelling to try starting a fight with the poor servers up front. Which was when the fry cook tossed down their ladle to get to business. It was like a blue collar John Wick.

"Case in point," Cara said dryly as bodies started flying.

intheeyeofthebeholding

“Congratulations, you’ve fought off the bandits,” Jon told them. “You’re wounded, but they’re dead. You take a few minutes to recover, then head off again. It’s afternoon by now, and eventually the birds and small forest creatures start calling to each other again.

“You’ll be spending the evening in the forest, so you might want to keep an eye out for a likely place to stop. And another open in case any larger forest creatures decide you might make a good supper.”

good_for_six

This weeks bar was a mash-up of a cruise ship bar on a pirate ship. Isabela was very proud of it.

"Rum!" She declared, because what else could it have been. "Beloved of pirates and sailors and the foundation of many, many drinks with little umbrellas in them. So let's make some!"

Ignore the cheering coming from all the shrubberies that mysteriously appeared on the deck of the ship.

carbsliftthespirit

"All right, everyone, I hope you came ready for fun because we're headed to Germany for Oktoberfest! Contrary to what you might thing, Oktoberfest is mostly not in October, it's in September, to welcome in October and the harvest! And beer. Definitely welcoming in the beer. But if you're not into beer, there's all sorts of fun to be had--food, rides, games, you name it. Before we hit the fest proper, we're going to stop off at a dirndl and lederhosen rental place so everyone can get properly outfitted to get into the spirit. When in Rome! Or, y'know. Munich. Anyway, let's get going and get to festing!"

sith_happened

Today's class was meeting in the Flight Shed, and Anakin was unchacteristically excited. "Today we're flying starfighters," he said.

"Decent ones." Because it turned out that certain snobberies were catching. "With shields and hyperdrives."

"And these are simulators," Anakin said, "so when you crash and die, you aren't actually killed."

Shockingly, "motivational speaker" wasn't a career Anakin had looked into.

"Don't worry, Master Skywalker knows about about walking away from a crash." One of your teachers was capable of landing a starship, It was not Anakin.

"Any landing you can walk away from is a good landing," Anakin proclaimed. "And that one into Coruscant was mostly Obi-Wan's fault."

"Why do I think he'd remember it differently?"

"He's a known exaggerator," Anakin declared. "Anyway, your task today is to leave the planet, dodge enemy fire, and not kill anyone, preferably including yourself."

Everyday skills!

rebelseekspizza

They were back in the Danger Shop this week. It was set up as a large, ornate office, old-school with pretty wooden details and everything.

There were two large sofas, enough to hold every one in the class. Behind the giant desk at the back sat a short but aristocratic-looking man, his hands folded in front of him on the desk.

"This is the mayor of Capulet City," Dante said, leaning on the back of the unmoving man's chair. "He's here to give you a job. Hear him out. Try to get as many details out of him as you can. Then give me an update at the end of the class - what do you think is going on?"

He leaned back, letting the chair veer forward.

"Go ahead. And you can listen in on everyone else's questions if you want."

heroic_jawline

The students found themselves in a Danger Shop replica of the bumper cars at Coney Island. "It's time to find out what happens when two things collide together at speed," Steve said, grinning.

"Physics!" Tony added cheerfully. "Anyone who gets Captain Rogers wins an A for the day."

Tony, no.

"Hey," Steve said.

Tony beamed at him. "It's a challenge for the class."

"You get an A if you get Mr. Stark, too," Steve said. "Fair's fair."

Tony clutched his chest in an overly dramatic display of hurt into a swoon. "I'll allow it."

stykera

“It’s fall,” Stark said. “Officially, here. Autumn if you prefer that word to the other. And in the fall there are often desserts that appear more frequently. Things made with apples and pumpkins, especially. And both of those make for excellent pies so today we have pies to eat and pie dough to make if you like. If you want to stay later and bake a pie with your dough that’s fine with me. I’m happy to help.”

“I looked up pie and found that the very earliest sort of pie was in ancient Egypt. So it’s quite old for here. It might be something interesting to look up at the library? Or they do have a lot of cookbooks there.”

“So. First off we have apple pie,” Stark said, revealing a warm apple pie. “This one only has one crust. It goes very well with vanilla ice cream and it’s best when warm, I think. You can use any sort of apples but some work better than others. And there are many, many kinds of apples. More than I realized.”

He looked at everyone and then set out a pumpkin pie as well. “I like the pumpkin coffee more than pumpkin pie myself but I do still like the pie. Especially with whipped cream. So. You can try one or both. And let me know which you like better, or maybe you don’t like either, or you can talk about other types of pie you do like. My favorite is chocolate cream.” Surely that was a shock, right?

needsacatchphrase

The bar was gone this week, and instead there was a dummy dressed like some kind of clown. "While a good, long fight can get the blood pumping," Cara said, drawing out the words. "Sometimes you just want to end things as quickly as possible."

"So, we're going to go with the weak parts on, well, most human bodies," Jane added. "Like the eyes! Or the throat!"

"The crotch." No, Cara wasn't going to be subtle about that.

"Or that," Jane said with a wince. "How about we practice? On the dummy."

"Remember, a good, hard, clean hit will drop someone the fastest, so don't hold back."

intheeyeofthebeholding

“You’ve had a good night’s sleep at the inn, and you wake up early to accompany the merchant.” Jon started. “If there’s anything you want to do before you leave, let me know. Then you get started. The morning light is dim and there’s still dew on the ground. Under the trees, it’s dark enough to need lanterns. The birds are just waking up. It’s a pleasant morning.”

atreideslioness

Class met in the Danger Shop today, and when students arrived, they'd find themselves in a landscape that looked like something from a science fiction film. "Good morning, class," Ghanima said, apparently unbothered by how Trebor was running around on and climbing on rocky outcroppings of dubious stability. "And welcome to Mount St. Helens."

"Mount St. Helens is an active stratovolcano, most famous for its catastrophic eruption on May 18, 1980, at 8:32 am PDT which was the deadliest and most economically destructive volcanic event in the history of the United States," she stated. "Fifty-seven people were killed; 250 homes, 47 bridges, 15 miles of railways, and 185 miles of highway were destroyed. A massive debris avalanche caused an eruption, reducing the elevation of the mountain's summit from 9,677 ft to 8,365 ft and replacing it with a one-mile wide horseshoe-shaped crater."

( We are her children, we are in her care, Our kind destroyer. )

jedigrammarians

Between the non-zombie band, the bright decor, and simulated clientele, this week's bar had a very brunch vibe.

"Wine," Aphra declared. "We're not going to get too into the weeds here, because it could be an entire semester on its own, but on this planet at least, wine is fermented grape juice, with different varieties depending on what grapes you use, if you keep the skins on, all kinds of things."

"And because we all have much better things to do with our time, we're going to try some of those instead of talking about them," Isabela said.

carbsliftthespirit

"I know, I know, we could have spent the entire semester eating our way through New Orleans," Raiden acknowledged. "But that's also true about today's destination, because today we're headed where all roads lead: Rome.

( Italian food: more than pizza. )

sith_happened

Today the class would find themselves in a virtual grocery store. It would be hard to mess up buying groceries, right? Right?

Unless of course, buying groceries was one of the things your secret wife sent your droids to do, or your current wife mostly did via restaurant delivery app.

"You need to buy food," Anakin told them. "Apparently."

"You can survive on just ration cubes," Ahsoka said. "But I wouldn't recommend it. At all."

"There are worse things," Anakin said, "but not many. So today your task is to buy yourself tonight's dinner and tomorrow's breakfast and lunch, plus toothpaste and toilet paper. You cannot spend more than--" he looked to Ahsoka.

Ahsoka shrugged, it's not like this island made any economic sense to begin with. "Twenty dollars?"

"Let's say $37 because it's a prime number," Anakin said because that was as logical as anything else.

It should be becoming increasingly clear that Jedi had different priorities when it came to 'everyday skills'.

"Go shopping," Anakin commanded, "and then show us what you bought."

retired_queen

There was an old school TV and VCR/DVD set up in the room today in addition to the coffee and breakfast goodies spread, and Leda, looking only slightly less frazzled than she had in previous classes.

"I had intended...well a lot of things but you know what they say about the Fates, they're assholes. Well that's not the actual phrase but laughing at someone because you know their plans are gonna get derailed is an asshole thing to do.

"I was going to intersperse movie days as a metaphor? for the Zero Day. When you just take a break and don't log any miles. Zero miles, zero day. See I know the slang. But every movie I thought of showing, because they're about hiking, had something that hit me a little harder than I expected, so I wanted to check with you guys first.

"I've a questionaire for you to fill out in private if you like, but in the meantime let's talk more about why someone would do something as seemingly insane as walking thousands of miles in some cases, for seemingly no concrete purpose."

She perched on the desk, like a cool adult.

"The protagonists in the movies we may or may not watch are doing it for a variety of reasons, but it seemed like using the journey as a mourning ritual is a common theme. Three of them...okay one of the movies is about the van life, not hiking but it still seemed relevant, had lost a loved one. One of them lost their home. Two of them were trying to get clean.

"The Way of St. James, is that right, I'm always thinking I'm naming it wrong..." she double checked her notes, "Yeah that's the English translation. In Spanish it's the Camino De Santiago, is literally a pilgrimage, but it's not always hiked by believers.

"As I think I told you when we all first met, I myself am at a big ol' Midlife Crisis Point. I was doing a job...that was a hereditary position, for most of my life. I didn't want it, I'd hoped to retire someday but again, those fucking Fates. By Elven standards I was still a child when I got the job. I hadn't really gotten a chance to know who I could be if it was left up to me. Now it is. So if I go, I'm hoping that the time out in the wilderness, with only my family and maybe the occasional wild animal for company, will help me figure stuff out.

"Anyone else want to share a vague personal reason for maybe going on such a journey? Or not so vague, this is a safe space."

The Questionaire:( content warnings )

rebelseekspizza

Today, they were back in a classroom, and Dante was perched on the desk. Wearing a set of oversized jeans this time and an old Ramones t-shirt - the best Ada could do on short notice, but hey, it was probably better than him showing up to class naked.

"There's not actually one place to start with an investigation," he said. "In case you guys missed that last week."

Hey, at least one of them had asked pointed questions about it. Might as well.

"You can do a lot to try and preserve a crime scene, 'course. Taking pictures is one of 'em," he nodded at Arden, "but there's also, like. Who the fuck are your witnesses talking to? Are they getting a story straight? Are you taking so much time wandering around with a camera that they've told the story four times and whatever version they're telling now is miles from what they actually saw? Who the fuck knows. And which version of the story are they gonna remember when anyway? Is it gonna be clearer later, or vaguer?"

He shrugged.

"And you can manage all that," he said, "And still miss something important. It's real easy to get fixated on one thing or one story or whatever, too. Before you know it, you're five miles down the highway with your pants on backwards."

Or racing after a demon biker, either or.

"So I figure we're going to practice doing this backwards this week," he said. "Think about the crime scene from last week. Come up with one way you'd use to throw a detective off the scent if you were the murderer. Then pick a classmate and tell them about it. See if they think they'd notice what you'd do."

imafuturist

The danger shop was done up to look like downtown Manhattan for the class. Specifically the spot just outside of the actual Stark Tower there.

"Welcome back, everyone! Hopefully you've been hard at work on your first project," Tony said.

Steve nodded. "The safe spaces for quail or ostrich eggs," he added, just in case ~~muns had forgotten~~ students needed the reminder.

"You'll still have the option to drop from halfway up the building--" Still very high up. "--or the top of the building. We'll leave that up to you."

Tony knew which one he'd pick for sure.

"Did you make an apparatus?" Steve asked Tony with a small grin.

"I did!" It flew. And had an AI. Tony. Tony, no.

"Well, you can go last," Steve said, grinning. "Who wants to go first?"

noonedecidesmyfate

There was a gremlin standing on a shelf enthusiastically recommending books to other gremlins. And anyone else who might happen to walk by, presumably.

Belle was intrigued but had other things to deal with first. Like the piles of graphic novels that has seemingly sprung up overnight in that section.

wrongkindofsith

The Danger Shop looked like the tavern from this week's Bartending class. Was this because Aphra had been too lazy to make her own sim from scratch and just edited Cara and Jane's one? Quite possibly, yeah.

But it was a case of sharing is caring! Maybe!

"So, this week we're going to try and actual fight. Still simulated, but it's not a bag anymore," Jane said. "It's people!"

Fake bar patrons loitered around them in the fake bar, being served by NPCakin.

"Obviously you should do your best to de-escalate," Cara said, in a tone that sounded a lot like she was reciting a legal disclaimer she'd been forced to memorise. "But some people just need punching."

To the surprise of absolutely no one, poor NPCakin went flying over the bar with a crash.

"Please don't try this in the bars in town!" Jane added quickly as the brawl began.

"Have fun." Cara considered mentioning that the simulation was set to ignore powers, but she figured it'd be funnier if they found out on their own.

atreideslioness

"Welcome back," Ghanima said as the students entered the Danger Shop. She was standing beside two large trunks. Trebor was dressed in a snowsuit and boots, and was climbing on top of them and giggling. "Today, we're going a bit farther north than many of you, myself included, are accustomed to, myself included."

She pressed a button on the remote, and suddenly the students would find themselves surrounded by snow. "Welcome to the Arctic!" Ghanima said cheerfully, apparently unbothered by the sudden drop in climate, though she was already moving to catch her mountain goat of a child.

( There are strange things done in the midnight sun / by the men who moil for gold; / The Arctic trails have their secret tales / That would make your blood run cold )

"Now get to work," she said, opening the second chest to distribute tools to the class before taking a knife for herself. She wasn't going to ask the students to do something that she was unwilling to attempt herself. "Feel free to work solo or in groups. I programmed the room so that we've got one hour to dark, and you don't want to be caught out without a place to sleep."

intheeyeofthebeholding

Jon sat down and got right down to it.

"Once you've all introduced yourself," and without even a bar fight...so far, "a man approaches you. He's dressed like a well-to-do merchant. 'Greetings,' he says. "'You all look like you could handle yourselves in a fight. I'm headed north, and there are rumors of bandits. Would any of you be interested in accompanying me as guards? I can pay handsomely.' What do you say?"

good_for_six

Today the Danger Shop looked more like a rustic tavern, albeit one with several sets of very out of place modern taps.

"So, basics," Isabela said. "You cannot go more basic than beer. Everywhere you go, someone will have a beer for you. Even if it's a barely drinkable homebrew."

"It's pretty much the first thing people start brewing," Aphra added, with all the authority a rogue archaeologist could bring to the table. "You got grain, you got water, you got all those yeasts floating about the place, and boom, bread and beer for your fledgling civilisation.

"Now eventually you get fancy with it, get styles, get regulations, get people pushing those regulations, but in the end, it's grain, water, yeast."

"We've got a range of styles on tap for your to try," Isabela said. "None of them homebrew. As well as some recipes for cocktails if anyone is feeling adventurous."

afraid_of_marshmallows

Yeah, Arden had gotten hooked on a completely ridiculous show, The Turncoats. One of those TV shows with people competing for money by doing crazy missions and then trying to find the turncoats in their midst who are secretly 'killing' other contestants at night. There were versions from the Netherlands, UK, US, Canada, and Australia, and they all had multiple seasons. It was pure cotton candy and stupid, and she was obsessed.

So yeah, that was what she was doing on her shift. Watching the next few episodes, complete with running commentary. "Goddess, did you really just betray her too? You're the fucking worst."

carbsliftthespirit

"Good morning, everyone!" Raiden greeted his class once they had assembled at Portalocity. "First off, let's hear about your homework! What did you eat last week? Was it delicious? What did you learn from trying it?"

( This class will make you hungry. )

sith_happened

"My wife informs me that many other people pack more than their lightsaber when traveling," Anakin said, sounding dubious despite having multiple children with their assorted kid crap that he had taken on vacation. "So today we will learn how to pack a suitcase."

Ahsoka shrugged like this was news to her too. "Of course, the first and most important step is understanding what you truly need to be taking with you. Often that can take up surprisingly little space." Like your pockets.

"You will not die without your phone," Anakin added in the tones of someone who had fought and lost this argument many, many times.

"Some form of communicator is ideal though," Ahsoka thoughtfully countered.

"Telepathy?" Anakin offered.

"It's definitely an option." For them.

"Right, so pack everything you'd need for a weekend away where you'd be flying on a plane and don't want to pay for luggage," Anakin said. "I'm ready now."

No one likes you, Anakin.

"Remember, pockets are your friend." The Jedi believed in communal learning, but this was definitely a case of her getting it from him.

rebelseekspizza

The class met up in the Danger Shop that morning. It was already set up as your most standard of procedural crime scenes: an alleyway with a body on the floor, police tape, a crying woman being comforted by a young man just off to the side.

There was blood on the ground, and eagle eyes might spot a few more splashes further into the alleyway.

Dante - in torn jeans and a black shirt that hung casually off his frame - met the class by the police tape, too far away to see too much of the details. He had his hands shoved into the pockets of his black-and-red coat.

"So," he said. "Today's for the question 'where do you start'."

He said nothing else, letting his eyes fall on each of the students instead. Seeing who'd speak up first.

retired_queen

On one table was a spread of food, the likes of which one might bring on a hike. It was of varying realistic expectations, and Leda was not yet qualified to judge. There were packets of oatmeal, some breakfast MRE's, specifically marketed hiker meals, and there were bagels and those sausages that didn't need to be refrigerated. There were three camp stoves ready to go for to cook said breakfasts.

The coffee was already brewed, no need to wait on that.

Leda herself was leaning awkwardly on her desk wearing a fully loaded external frame backpack, that she was clearly mostly resting on said furniture.

"This is probably not what I'll be using on my as yet hypothetical hike." she said, once everyone had settled. She shrugged out of her burden and managed to not let it fall on the floor. "Also, I have given my oath to my husband and our children that I will not be solo hiking. We'll be going together if/when it happens."

She winced and rubbed her shoulders.

"So the final product likely...hopefully won't be that heavy. According to what I have read online, and why is everything behind a fucking paywall or demand a subscription? your pack should weigh about 20 percent of your body weight. But that's math. And even then..."

She gestured to another table on which was neatly arranged the essentials: tent, sleeping bag and pad, stove, trekking poles, water bottles and filtration, and a first aid kit. There was also a stack of printed out checklists with more things to consider.

"Anyway, none of this is properly taking into account the kinds of things that may or may not be available where or when you're from. Maybe electronics aren't an option. Maybe you have access to..." shoot what had Karla called her extra-dimensional storage? "Magical workarounds.

"Also, maybe you're already accustomed to carrying heavy loads on long treks. I thought I was in pretty good shape for someone who's lived a life of shameful luxury for eons but mostly my exercise was cardio.

"But enough of my rambling, who here is from a time or place where such modern, or primitive maybe, conveniences aren't readily available?"

imafuturist

The classroom was filled with eggs. Which was a totally normal thing for a physics class, right? Right. And they weren't just normal eggs, no. They were ostrich eggs and quail eggs and nothing in between the two of them.

"Welcome to physics! As you can see, we're getting an early start on the assignments here," Tony said.

"Because physics should generally involve some planning," Steve said, nodding.

"We want you to pick one of the eggs for an egg drop next week from the top of the Stark Tower. Not the one here. The real one." Tony, no. "And each egg has it's own issues in finding a way to protect it for that drop. This will be a good, easy way to see physics in motion."

"...how many stories is Stark Tower?" Steve asked.

"Just 93."

"We are not dropping eggs 93 stories," Steve replied firmly.

Tony sighed. "I'll program it in the danger shop." That was safer, right?

"From a lower floor," Steve insisted.

"Fine, fine." Tony looked at the class. "You can pick the lower floor or the top."

"Make a contraption that will keep the egg safe from the plummet," Steve said. "Do we have materials we're looking for?" he asked.

"We have all kinds of materials and you can, of course, source from elsewhere. The junkyard is good for that," Tony replied. "We just want to start out with a splash."

"You can get started on your projects in a second, but first let's do introductions," Steve said. "Please give us your names and your favorite scientist or engineer."

ifwebeworthy

Don hadn't been sure they were going to return to the island. There was Asgard to consider now, after all, but Thor had insisted they should carry out their commitments, which included teaching.

"Good morning," Don said to his students. "I'm Dr. Donald Blake, and this is Health Education. Now, I was away for the summer, so if you're new, welcome; if you're not new, welcome back. This week I'd like to get a sort of baseline to determine what we're dealing with here, so if you could please introduce yourselves with your name, where and when you're from, and a little bit about what you understand of how medical care works in your world, that would be helpful. We'll start with you," he said, picking out a student at random.

stykera

“Good morning,” Stark said. “Welcome to Anything But Cupcakes. Not cupcakes, which would be what I usually talk about it. Just because the moose decreed it. So we’ll talk about other desserts that are not cupcakes.”

Why had the moose said no cupcakes? Who knows. Probably not even the moose knows.

“I think we all know each other but we’ll do introductions anyway. That’s how first classes go. And then we’ll talk about today’s dessert which is mousse in honor of the moose. Chocolate mousse, not meat moose.”

“So introduce yourselves, please. Your name and a favorite dessert. And anything else you might like to add, if there’s something. I’m Stark, which you all know, and I love cupcakes, which you probably know. If I had to choose a different treat…brownies, I think.”

Once everyone had introduced themselves, Stark opened the refrigerator and pulled out some already made mousse in individual dishes. “It takes time to set up,” he said. “So I made some in advance for you all to try, if you like. And we can try to make some here as well and then you can take it with you to eat later. Just make sure to put it somewhere it can be kept cold.”

“I have the recipe for everyone and all the ingredients we need. If you need help please ask. Separating eggs is not so complicated as you might think if you’ve never done it before.”

needsacatchphrase

Today the class was all set up in the Danger Shop for their first day. There was even a punching bag there and ready for everyone too! Clearly the teachers were actually managing to get things to work properly with the program. For once.

"Welcome back everyone," Jane offered. "Or just welcome if you're new."

"If you're in this class we assume it's because you want to punch things," Cara said, in a tone that suggested she didn't really care if they weren't. "So we're going to make sure you can actually do that."

Hence the punching bag. Obviously.

"So, we're starting off with just that! Punching!" Jane was excited about that part, honestly. "Everyone introduce yourselves and give a punch. To the bag."

"It'll help us to know what we're working with."

Fandom High RPG

About the Game

---       Master Game Index
---       IC Community Tags
---       Thinking of Joining?
---       Application Information
---       Existing Character Directory

In-Character Comms

School and Grounds
---       Fandom High School
---       Staff Lounge
---       TA Lounge
---       Student Dorms

Around the Island
---       Fandom Town
---       Fandom Clinic

Communications
---       Radio News Recaps
---       Student Newspaper
---       IC Social Media Posts

Off-Island Travel
---       FH Trips

Once Upon a Time...
---       FH Wishverse AU

Out-of-Character Comms

---       Main OOC Comm
---       Plot Development
---       OOC-but-IC Fun

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Fandom High is a not-for-profit text-based game/group writing exercise, featuring fictional characters and settings from a variety of creators, used without permission but for entertainment purposes only.

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