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"Good morning, everyone!" Raiden cheerfully greeted his class. You would never guess he'd been dealing with some shit this summer from his demeanor. Apparently Lucifer had a kid! Who knew? (Lazarus. Lazarus knew the whole time.) "I'm Raiden, and this is Food Adventures: the class where we go places and eat the food. We're already one up on the last time I taught this class because nobody is a pony today!" Grass: not all it was cracked up to be.

"So, today we're not actually going anywhere, because today is for getting to know each other. You know how introductions work, right? Name, where you're from, what your favorite food is, and something you'd like to try. Let's start with you," he said, picking a student at random.

Once they'd gone around the whole group, Raiden said, "All right, let's talk about some ground rules. Rule number one: You do not have to eat the food. If you have an allergy or a religious restriction or what have you, then obviously don't eat the things that applies to. If you have dietary restrictions that are less, I dunno, binding, you may find that different cultures don't accommodate them as well as you're used to. In some places 'vegetarian' is a foreign concept, or fish and even chicken may be considered to fall under that, and anything like low carb or gluten free is going to get you blank looks in some places. You may have to explain what you're talking about, and it may not be possible for it to be accommodated everywhere. So...be prepared for that. Whether or not you eat the food is up to you, but if it's not going to cause you some kind of harm, I encourage you to at least try it. Beyond that, you may encounter ingredients or flavor profiles or preparations that are completely new to you, and you may find some of them offputting or even upsetting. You do not have to try those things, but I want you to keep an open mind. That brings us to our second rule, which is to be respectful. The words 'gross' and 'disgusting' are banned in this class. I don't want to hear them. That's somebody's culinary tradition you're talking about, and we are visitors in their society. Think about why they might eat the things they do, and what it is about it that you find 'gross.' And think about trying it. You might like it, and even if you don't, you might learn something. Does anybody have any questions?"

After a pause for questions, Raiden told everyone, "Your assignment for the week is to go to one of the island's restaurants and try something you've never had before. If you don't have any money on you, tell them to put it on my account. Again, that's Raiden, R-A-I-D-E-N. No surname. Okay? Okay."

sith_happened

Another class semester, another time for Anakin and Ahsoka to demonstrate their...right...their Everyday Life Skills. Which they definitely had! Definitely!

Their lives just might require slightly different everyday skills? Maybe?

Honestly, they were completely normal everyday skills that heaps of people where they were from learned.

In any case, the Danger Shop was set up to look like a perfectly normal room with a large feature window taking up an entire wall. As was a completely normal for a room to have.

Every apartment Anakin ever lived in had had one! And it had been replaced frequently, mostly due to how he was arriving through, like just now.

No, they hadn't programmed in that wind that had their cloaks flaring dramatically as they landed. That would be silly. Just because they'd set up a force-field so no one got hit by the fake glass was no reason to believe otherwise.

It was entirely coincidental that Anakin's hair looked awesome in the wind, too. "Hello," he said with a tiny smirk. "I'm Master Anakin Skywalker."

Ahsoka didn't have any hair to look awesome in the wind, but she did push the hood of her cloak back in a practised motion to reveal her montrals. "And I'm Ahsoka Tano."

"This is a class about everyday skills, and today's will be on how to make a first impression," Anakin declared.

"As you can see, it's a simple enough way to start," Ahsoka said, far too casually for someone who'd entered the room via a closed window.

retired_queen

Leda's desk was littered with guidebooks, notepads and scraps of paper with lists and even a few grumblings. She herself though was doing a decent job of not looking frazzled when the students came in.

Her hair was pulled back in a loose ponytail revealing pointed ears, the right one missing a bit at the tip, and she was dressed casually in cargo pants, combat boots and a t-shirt that had a picture of Hera, Athena and Aphrodite in their poses from The Awakening of the Gods show in Sicily.

"Good morning." she greeted everyone. "My name is Leda Danan, and Fandom thinks it's funny. Full disclosure, we're going to be learning together. And since it's day one, and I only found out I'd be teaching this class the other day, we're going to start with introductions to give me a little extra time to get my shit together. And then we'll watch a thing.

"As I said, my name is Leda. I'm from Faerie, and I had the thought recently of hiking one of the big trails. Maybe the PCT, maybe the Appalachian Trail, or even the Camino de Santiago. See, like many people who do this sort of thing, I'm a crossroads. I lost my job, one I'd been doing for most of my life, so yeah. Also midlife-ish crisis.

"So, introduce yourself with your name, where you're from, if you're comfortable with that, and what's something that you think you should, or should not definitely bring on a hike? I'm from a world that has magic, so I'll probably be wearing some sort of talisman, or maybe some sort of healing balm for my feet. That might be cheating though."

Then she played them a youtube video about the five common mistakes made by beginner hikers.

It boiled down to:
1. Packing too much
2. Improper footwear
3. Pushing yourself too far, too soon
4. Too much food
5. Making too strict a plan

Leda was frowning at the mess on her desk by the time the video was done. She knew she'd been shaping up to make some of those mistakes already.

rebelseekspizza

There was a guy with long white hair - pulled back in a messy ponytail - sitting on the desk at the front of the classroom. His black-and-red coat hung off his shoulders in a casual kind of way. In fact, he breathed casual in every fiber of his body.

Dante had not planned on getting stuck on Fandom this week, let alone on teaching a class. But it was one hour a week. He could make it work.

"Hey," he said, giving a lazy wave to the class. "My name is Dante. Didn't pick the class or the name, so we're winging it this semester."

At least he said it with confidence?

"I hunt demons back home. Sometimes hunting demons means figuring out what the fuck is going on." He shrugged. "Can't make 'playing detective' any easier than that."

He perched an arm on his leg and looked at the class. "Let's kick this off with the usual," he said. "What's your name, what are you doing there, and have you ever had to figure out what the fuck is going on? Details are cool."

bigdamnprincipal

Honestly, no was really surprised when they showed up to decorate the lawn of the school for this semester's picnic and found that the place was already decked out, but seeing things set up for a birthday party was a little unexpected.

If the numbered balloons and streamers didn't make it clear that this was a 21st birthday party, the copious amounts of alcohol on the drink table could provide a clue. Thankfully, there was plenty of food to go around, and balance out people's stomachs. Hopefully, this was all still welcoming, or at least a useful sign of things to come.

[OUR GAME IS OLD ENOUGH TO DRINK, Y'ALL! Happy birthday, Fandom! Happy fall semester! OCD-free, have at it!]

needsacatchphrase

A lot of the soft furnishings were back from last week, almost like certain people had run out of ideas or something. Also the movie projector was set up. Surprise.

"Today is a movie day since we'll be concluding and... don't know how you'd do a exam on a roleplaying game," Jane admitted. Also, neither of them were rules lawyers. You're welcome.

Just enjoy the pretty people, people.

talentforlying

On the board today there were two sets of virtues and vices.

Patientia (Patience) versus Ira (Wrath)
Humilitas (Humility) versus Superbia (Pride)

"Right, I thought we had seven weeks, not six, so we're cramming shite in and getting it done." Constantine said briskly. "Lucky you."

"Patience and wrath. Interestingly, it's patience they contrast with wrath, not restraint... patience endures, whereas restraint holds itself back. Meanwhile, it's wrath that gets called out, not anger. Anger motivates. Anger properly directed can serve the causes of virtue and justice. But wrath, well, it's often referred to as a 'fire,' and you can ask any firefighter... fire is unpredictable and will consume anything it touches."

"Contrast that with humility and pride. We all know pride supposedly goeth before a fall, but fuck me I have fallen flat on my face a fucking lot, and I'm still the same prideful arsehole as always," he smirked. "And I have no intentions of changing."

"The idea that humility counters pride is so popular, that the artist Caravaggio painted the acronym H-AS OS on to the sword of David taking down Goliath.... humilitas occidit superbiam. Humility Kills Pride. It's a line from Saint Augustine, referring to how David taking out Goliath is like Jesus taking down the Devil -- only capable of doing so because humility has offered them clarity to see opportunity, whereas the two opponents are blinded to their own weaknesses due to pride."

"So that's all our sins and virtues. Thoughts on today's subjects, or on the concept overall?" he asked. "You survived summer session. Great job."

noonedecidesmyfate

The summer was drawing to a close though Belle felt like it had only just begun.

The library seemed quiet today. The calm before the storm? It had been a relatively quiet summer overall (even if she had briefly disappeared into a book). Maybe it was just going to be a quiet fall as well once the season turned.

There were a wide variety of books with the word End in the title out today, and a gremlin who was sitting on a stack of beach books looking ready to bite anyone who came near.

Just a usual library day, really.

but_mostly_america

"Welcome to our final session, class!" Sam boomed out from his spot behind his lectern.

"Today we shall discuss something very important. Something I myself have been guilty of! Something that ought to be weird but is instead far too common! Today's subject is truancy! Absenteeism! Avoidance of responsibilities!"

"I, myself, have unfortunately been otherwise detained this summer on more than one occasion when I ought to have been here to educate you! The masked Australian man has been chronically absent this summer and I have been forced to read radio notes on more than one occasion! He may or not be a koala, currently. The situation is unclear. But that is immaterial! What is important here is that shirking responsibility should not happen!"

~~Methinks the Muppet doth protest too much...~~

"I hope that you, my students, are aware that responsibilities are important. Following through is important! However, you are likely aware that being responsible is uncommon these days. It is considered, perhaps, weird by the majority. But it should not be! Do you agree? Disagree? Discuss!"

sith_happened

Anakin was surrounded by rubber chickens and harmonicas. Completely normal Wednesday, right? There were also t-shirts, blindfolds, and two pool noodles.

Anakin picked up his megaphone. "We will be playing a modified version of tag! All but two of you will be wearing rubber chickens on your feet." As you do.

Anakin held up the rubber chicken. It squeaked menacingly. "Half of you will also have harmonicas in your mouths. Your goal is to remain silent so that the blindfolded swatters can not discover you and hit you with their pool noodle."

This seemed wholesome.

"Listen for your names and then come get your shirts!"

He smiled. "McGarrett and Remy, come retrieve your blindfolds and pool noodles. You're it."

And then he rattled off everyone else who was playing, and if they also got a harmonica in their mouths:

Kitty - harmonica
Vi
Sairis - harmonica
Hannibal
Jon - harmonica
Mariner
Steve R - harmonica
Flint
Stark - harmonica
Duke
Rey - harmonica

intheeyeofthebeholding

"So, you've all got your characters built, you've decided on who they are and what they do and so forth. The only thing left to do is get equipment," Jon said. "You can go through the lists and choose whatever non-magical things you want, within reason, and choose two magic items that are common or uncommon or one that's rare. Or you can make a case for something you really want.

"Otherwise, if you have any questions about things we've covered already or want to adjust them, let me know. And I hope you'll all be here next term to actually play."

Because otherwise he was going to be a very sad DM.

sith_happened

"It's our final class today and everyone's still in one piece," Anakin announced, slightly disappointed.

"Master, we've talked about this," Ahsoka said. "Just because you have trouble keeping your limbs intact..."

"Maybe I'm just a little more devoted than everyone else," Anakin said.

"I'm sure that's why, Anakin." Ahsoka did not sound particularly convinced.

"Anyway, we're going to Jamaica for our final class. Please liberally apply sunscreen before going through the portal," Anakin said.

And because they cared they'd even provided the neon zinc sticks.

heroic_jawline

The teachers were dressed in their superhero suits today, so that could only mean one thing: free for all day!

"Today we're letting you off the chain," Tony said, armor firmly in place like it could save him from Steve's competitive nature. (Not his own, of course. Don't be silly.)

"Powers are encouraged," Steve said with a grin. "We'll give you a few minutes to go out and retrieve anything you'll need for class today."

"Please keep the property damage to a minimum," Tony added quickly.

"Paint's still the only allowable weapon," Steve said, nodding.

jedigrammarians

"So to wind up our little class club, today we're going to be focusing on the booze rather than the books," Aphra said, between bites of pastry. "You're going to come up with a cocktail for your favourite book, and explain to the class why. Whether it's for the book as a whole, or the main character, or just a vibe."

"But since this isn't a mixology class we're not expecting you to come up with something from scratch." Isabela held up a large book. "So instead we're going with the great literally tradition of stealing from the greats, and you can repurpose something from here."

needsacatchphrase

The classroom had pillows. And blankets. And paint still, but that might just be always in there. But it was that puffy paint, so...

"Short rests are a part of this game. So, to honor that, we're decorating bedding!" Jane said, trying her best to make it fit.

"Traditionally this involves some kind of quilting or...embroidery," Cara didn't have an eye-twitch, you had an eye-twitch. "But those take time and skill, so this weird paint it is."

"Yes, this seemed more reasonable." Somehow. "Just treat it like making a character."

"Out of paint." Look, they were trying.

talentforlying

Today the blackboard read Humanitas (Kindness) versus Invidia (Envy).

"If you ask the philosophers, Humanitas and Invidia are conceptual opposites -- human kindness and goodwill up against malicious envy and jealousy. They're a contrast: communal uplifting by being generous and considerate on one hand, and self-centered bitterness over what other people have on the other."

"You would think kindness would fall under charity, except that much charity is not done out of any sort of kindness, but sometimes, rather, out of envy for someone else's social reputation. If Jack and Jane down the lane give to charity, and you don't, well, you can't let them be seen as kinder and more selfless than you..." Constantine drawled. "Shakespeare said it best, 'O beware, my lord, of jealousy; it is the green-eyed monster which doth mock the meat it feeds on.' The more envy devours, the more it hungers for what other people have."

"Can enough kindness fight envy? Or will those consumed by envy forever gnaw away at their virtuous counterparts?" John shrugged. "Hell if I know."

noonedecidesmyfate

Belle had been lost in a good book. Literally, this time. One minute she'd been reading and the next she'd been inside her latest romance (though tragically not as the heroine) and she was just now popping back into the library like no time had passed at all.

"That was interesting," she said, looking around. "If I'm being perfectly honest I'm surprised it doesn't happen here more often."

Maybe it did and she just didn't hear about it? That could be true. She would simply have to research further.

sith_happened

The t-shirts Anakin had out were a clue that went with the giant catapault parts, the huge bullseye in the center of the park...and Beaker in a crash helmet, looking very excited.

Well, there were hobbies for everyone, right? Extended exposure to Gonzo will do this to a Muppet.

"Today you're going to work together in pairs to make a catapault that will lauch Beaker into the air to land on the bullseye," Anakin announced.

Land safely, right, Anakin? Right? Right?

"Grab a t-shirt, then take a look at the ~~oh so moddable~~ supplies you have to choose from. You have 20 minutes to make a catapault. Listen for your names:

Kitty & Steve R.
Sairis & Rey
Hannibal & Flint
Jon & Steve M."

intheeyeofthebeholding

"Today we come to the math," Jon announced. "As you might have guessed from the dice, there are parts of the game that involve comparing numbers. High numbers are good. You've got six scores for abilities, and they generally range from three to eighteen.

"If you want to use your dice, you can choose 'Manual/Rolled' for the method of determining them. Otherwise, use 'Point Buy'. You may also have some pluses based on whichever species and origin you chose. Keep in mind that different classes have different abilities that are most important for them. If you go back to your class and open up the core traits section, it'll show your primary ability."

He demonstrated that.

"The six abilities are strength, dexterity, constitution, intelligence, wisdom, and charisma. Strength is fairly self-explanatory: it's your ability to use your muscles to do things. Dexterity is how light on your feet and quick with your hands you are. Constitution is how resilient you are to damage. Intelligence is how smart and book-learned you are or could be, while wisdom is your street-smarts and common sense. And charisma is your ability to influence others, your looks, and so forth.

"There's a...well, a sort of explanation of it using tomatoes. Strength is how well you can crush a tomato. Dexterity is how well you could dodge a tomato thrown at you. Constitution is how well you'd do if you ate a bad tomato. Intelligence is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put a tomato in a fruit salad anyway. And charisma is being able to sell someone a tomato-based fruit salad."

Hey, it worked!

"So let me know if you have questions, and choose your ability scores."

snipsnspecks

The portal at the causeway looked vaguely...off today, in a way that was hard to put a finger on. Oh, well, it was probably nothing to worry about.

After the fiasco of not coming back from Greece for several days, your teachers should probably be more concerned, but they weren't! "Welcome back," Anakin said. "We're getting close to the end of the summer and no one has died."

Be more enthusiastic about that, Anakin.

"Which means the class is working." Very helpful there, Ahsoka.

Anakin looked more enthusiastic about that. "We're good," he agreed. "Where are we going today again?"

Ahsoka looked at her booking notes, which were kind of smudged. "Something about a Prom?" Again, you should both know by now that this kind of vagueness was only good when it was you doing it on purpose.

"That seems fine," said the Jedi renowned for his decision making. "In you go."

On the other side of the portal lay a lush, wild landscape dotted with colourful, mysterious looking structures.

Also, everyone now looked like what could be best described as blobby, technicolor pingu.

Oops.

heroic_jawline

The Danger Shop was back in effect today, this time done up like the streets of Manhattan. Your teachers, for the moment at least, were no where to be seen.

That was probably fine, right? There were also various cans of paint in all kinds of colors waiting for the class once they'd followed the written instructions to head up to the top of the building they'd arrived next to. And yes, it was a Stark Tower of normal proportions.

So it was pretty damn tall. At least there was an elevator!

There was no giggling as you got to the top because your teachers were professionals, okay, and also no warning as the paint came at you once the doors opened.

"That doesn't count as losing," Tony promised from under his own layer of yellow paint, courtesy of his fellow teacher. "In fact, today we'll be learning about physics rather than shooting at each other."

Steve grinned from under his blue paint. "We'll be dropping paint!"

It was going to be a huge mess.

"Let's get to it!"

good_for_six

"Today we're talking about trend-chasing," Aphra said once everyone was seated and had a beverage of their choice. "It's when something new and unique becomes successful and everyone rushes to copy them for a piece of that pie."

"It's why all these cocktails have that colour-changing booze," Isabela added helpfully. "Any way, today we'd like you to talk about the last book you really enjoyed reading, tell everyone what you think made that book different and enjoyable."

Aphra held up a hand. "Then, because publishers are no exception to trend-chasing, we want you to tell us what completely missing the point trend it's going to start instead."

rebelseekspizza

Hello everyone! It's time again for applications!

To apply, read the following information, click the link to the application form, fill it out for the character you want to play, and send it off!

( The basics you need to know )

* At this point, the school is now officially a collegiate setting. All student applications must be for college students or grad students.

* Teachers are required to teach at least one class/workshop per week, and be accessible to students when needed. This also applies for characters applying to teach an adult class at the Community Center, rather than one at the school.

* If you would like to apply for a new character to teach an adult workshop, fill out the Character Application exactly as if you were applying for a teacher, but mark it "Townie" instead. Note in the Course Description that it would be an adult workshop, not a student workshop. Because of the need to keep track of the adult workshops being offered and start them at the same time, these applications will be processed on the same schedule as student/teacher applications.

* Current townies or teachers can also apply to teach an adult workshop. If you would like to teach an adult workshop with a current character, you can fill out a limited application by following the instructions here.

* See this post for more about character activity.

* All accepted characters go on probation for the first month. After that time, if there's anyone who's disappeared or is causing problems, we'll talk to them about it and possibly discuss removal from the game. It's very difficult to get to the removal stage.

* Improvisation. Fandom High is a balance between planning and improvisation. Some people plan plots, but a lot of the day-to-day stuff is purely improvisation where you throw a bunch of characters together and see what happens.

( What’s needed to apply )
( Early applications )
( What happens once you’ve applied )
( Notes for Current Players )
( Notes for New Players )

Application Form (This is a GDoc whose text you can paste into an e-mail or attach as a txt file, then send to us at fandomhighadmins dot iambicnut dot com.)

You only need to fill out the parts that are relevant to the type of character you are applying for (ie: if you're a student applicant, don't fill in the stuff marked 'Townies Only').

If you don't get a confirmation email from us within 24 hours, please email us!

Applications close August 30th at 11:59pm Eastern. The next application session for students and teachers after this will be for the Summer session in April!

Got a question? We're here to answer it!

needsacatchphrase

There were headphones and some equipment that was either stolen or borrowed from the radio squirrels waiting for the class once they arrived this week. It was probably borrowed because there was one tipsy squirrel living their best life on the teacher's desk.

"Music is important to telling a story. And do, it's important to crafts. And dungeons and dragons." Jane was trying her best here, okay?

"I've been told," and from the glare at the squirrel it was obvious who'd been doing the telling. "That the right music makes things more dramatic." It would help if you sounded less dubious about that, Cara.

"So, today we're all coming up with a playlist!" Even the teachers? "That you can share if you feel comfortable with it."

"Remember, you're going for 'drama'." The squirrel made jazz hands when Cara said drama.

talentforlying

The blackboard read Diligentia (Diligence) versus Acedia (Sloth) as everyone arrived today, to a tired-looking Constantine slumped at his desk.

This academic shite was not fun.

"When we hear the word diligent, most of us think of the modern definition: hard-working or persistent. Proper attention and preparation, executed in a timely, efficient, and effective manner consistently. Diligence is active, and does not cease. Of course, that means most people think of sloth as laziness, but that's not all there is to it. Sloth is a lack of engagement. It's failing to commit to productive action."

"Think of it like a gardener -- a diligent one does research on what grows locally, preps the soil, plants seeds, weeds, waters, and, in theory, reaps the spoils. A slothful gardener maybe puts in some seeds or plants, waters when they remember, and in the end have more weeds than anything else."

"So, why pair diligence and sloth?" He asked, gesturing at the board. "--and if diligence is the middle road of virtue, what is the far extreme?"

"Personally, I view the entire fucking hustle-culture of workaholism as contrary to actual diligence, but that's just me." John gestured toward the class. "Discuss."

sith_happened

Today there was a trash can filled with cut off pieces of ropes in the center of the park, Anakin, and a small stack of t-shirts in front of him.

"Today is a new game!"

It was not called "How to Dislocate Your Shoulder," but it could be!

"It's called 'Don't Touch the Trash Can," he said instead. "As I call your name, get a t-shirt and a piece of rope from inside the trash can. Each person holds the end of each rope. You cannot drop the rope or touch the trash can. Your goal is to get everyone else to drop the rope or touch the trash can. Last one standing wins. Do not murder each other."

Only around here would that matter. He gave more instructions ~~that were in the video so the muns can picture how this works~~.

"Listen for your names!"

Hannibal
Kitty
Steve R
Rey
Flint
Beaker
Jon
Sairis

intheeyeofthebeholding

"Right. Well, now that we've chosen classes and species, we're going to go back a page and choose backgrounds," Jon announced.

"Your background can determine how much money you start the game with," he said, because apparently capitalism was still a thing, "but also which skills you might start with or be better at. Also if you're not sure what sort of story your character has, this can help you with ideas. You could be a noble, a soldier, or a criminal, for example."

Please don't everybody choose spy.

"This can also help us all figure out how your characters will meet, so it's helpful to discuss it."

There was always a tavern, if nothing else.

sith_happened

Today's chosen item of neon clothing were puffer vests, because were you were heading was very picturesque but also fairly chilly.

Anakin, of course, was not wearing one. Silly-looking clothing was for the rest of you! "Welcome back," he said.

Ahsoka, for her part had some very fetching pom-poms on the tips of her parka's hood. "Today we'll be visiting New Zealand," she said. "Which is apparently no relation to old Zealand."

"Is there an old Zealand?" Anakin asked, looking interested.

"There's a Zealand in Denmark apparently," Ahsoka said with a shrug.

"Huh," said Anakin intelligently. "Maybe we can go there next week."

"Maybe."

Spoiler, they would not.

"So this is New Zealand, virtually the same as Greece," Anakin said, nodding.

Ahsoka paused for a long, long moment. "It's nothing like Greece. At all."

Next you'd be telling him every planet didn't look like a very specific park in Vancouver! Give him his dreams, Ahsoka. "...oh."

Look, it wasn't their fault that Earth was aggressively multi-biome compared to much of their galaxy.

"Maybe something will eat you today," Anakin said, sounding a little too hopeful about that.

There were quite a lot of sheep, after all.

imafuturist

Today the class was set up in the danger shop. Because the teachers has an aesthetic here. And it was apparently... Western.

"Howdy, folks," Tony said, gleefully tipping a cowboy hat at the assembled class.

Steve's lips quirked up in amusement because in his view, billionaires from Manhattan shouldn't say howdy. "Hello. We're trying something new today--water pistols. On horseback."

At least he didn't attempt a 'y'all' in there.

"At high noon!"

Did they program a musical sting to happen at that phrasing? Yes. They absolutely did.

"The horses aren't real," Steve assured them.

"But it'll be fun!" Tony insisted. "And thematic."

"And we love themes," Steve said, nodding.

sith_happened

What are days, the jetlagged edition...

tellmehowstuffworks

Today the class had been asked to assemble at Portalocity, from whence they would visit a lovely winery in the south of France.

"Today we will be learning to appreciate wine," Yennefer told the students before they stepped through the portal. "Here is how it works: a very snooty man will go on at you about the 'notes.' He will tell you you can smell and taste all sorts of things in the wine. You will smile and nod and pretend that you can certainly do that. The wine will smell and taste like wine. You will enjoy the wine, and the little nibbles that come with it. Does anyone have any questions? No?" she said before anyone could even attempt to ask a question. "Good. Let's get on with it."

wrongkindofsith

There was a trunk of costumes waiting for the class that all mostly looked new. If you ignored the Alot fur and the little gremlin claw marks.

"LARPing is sometimes part of the game," Jane said, for sure feeling like the expert here.

"That's when instead of just talking about being different people, you dress up and sometimes they force you to speak in rhyme." Was Cara having flashbacks to a specific incident? If she was, she'd never tell.

"They do?" Jane hissed in concern. Oh no, this was all a terrible mistake!

Yes, that entire business had been a terrible, terrible mistake, no matter how hilarious Kahlan seemed to think it was afterwards. "It was...a one off, in a terrible backwards place. We won't be making you do that." How wonderful and magnanimous Cara was here.

Jane nodded slowly. "But today you'll be looking for a costume for the character you made."

If you can figure it out from all the Spirit Halloween leftovers. There were just so many sexy versions of professions in there.

Including ones that never needed to be sexy at all.

noonedecidesmyfate

Were the books feeling neglected? Possibly. That would explain why they were being so clingy with Belle today when she arrived for her shift.

"You're like a spoiled cat," Belle told one book that was demanding she give its cover a pet. "I suppose it's charming though. I'm glad you appreciate me."

If the books started purring though she was going to be weirded out.

talentforlying

Today, the board at the front of the class read:

Caritas (Charity) versus Avaritia (Greed)

"Welcome back," Constantine said dryly once everyone had arrived. "Charity and Greed...this one seems pretty straight-forward, yeah?"

"Greed looks at the world as a zero-sum game: there are a finite amount of resources to go around, and if I give to my neighbor, there will be less for me. If I only have $20 in my wallet, and I give you $10, then I only have $10 left for me, yeah? Greed hordes, and treats money or objects as ultimate ends rather than instruments to get what you want."

"Meanwhile, Charity directly rebuffs this outlook: the more we give away, the more we gain, be it spiritual fulfillment or simply personal satisfaction for having done the right thing. The trick with Charity, however, is that it has to be truly selfless -- you cannot do it with the ulterior motive of gaining spiritual purity or clout, or it isn't actually Charity as a virtue. It's simply an action."

"So, the question I pose to you today is this: Is Charity real? Is it possible to be fully selfless when doing an act of Charity? Conversely, when is Greed good? Knowing that in this context, Greed is the hording of something as the ultimate goal, not to disperse later or use in any way."

Constantine waived a hand. "Discuss."

sith_happened

The park was set up like a lovely little French cafe, complete with trays holding a hot coffee on a plate, a full glass of water, and a croissant.

And hilarious (to Anakin) aprons for the participants.

"You must take these trays and go on a race around the island," Anakin proclaimed. "The first one back without running, spilling, or using two hands to hold the tray wins. Listen for your name:"

Ilya
Jon
Kitty
Rey
Erasmus
Flint
Hannibal
Sairis
Remy
Beaker
Steve M.

stykera

“I’m sorry,” Stark said. “About missing classes. It won’t happen again.” Probably. But you never knew around here.

“So, welcome to Movies and Snacks. More Movies and More Snacks, really. We’ll watch movies. We’ll eat snacks. Or you can do neither and just take a nap here in the dark theatre that is really the danger shop. Whatever makes you happy, really.”

“Today’s movie is about a boy who sees dead people. So. There are ghosts.”

This is what happened when all the advertisements were for Summerween. You got spooky movies.

“But also it’s National Chocolate Chip Cookie day today so there are cookies I made this morning. And popcorn, always. I also have some cheese with ghost peppers in it but that’s spicy so be careful.”

There were plenty of other ghost-themed foods available as well. And all sorts of popcorn toppers and a variety of drinks.

“Enjoy.”

intheeyeofthebeholding

"Now that you've chosen classes, we're going to...er. Well, we're going to skip the next bit and come back to it later, so go to the next page so we can choose species. I honestly don't think it makes much sense to choose a background before a species. Or even a class, really, but I'm willing to let that one pass."

He cleared his throat. "Right. Anyway, there are a lot of different sapient species in Dungeons & Dragons. You can of course be human if you prefer, but there are other animals and plants and such that you can choose instead. There are elves and dwarves, which are fairly standard in Earth fantasy genres thanks to Tolkien, there are humanoid animals like cats - that would be tabaxi - and birds - kenku or aarakocra. There are a lot of choices."

He scrolled briefly through the options. "You could be dragonborn or yuan-ti or lizardfolk if you prefer reptiles. Aasimar if you want wings. Genasi if you want to be firey or watery or something. I suppose an earth genasi might even count as a sentient rock if you prefer to be a mineral." There were also some really strange homebrew options he wouldn't say no to. "Different species have different benefits and downsides. Some have innate magic. Look them over and decide what to be. Species is less important to party makeup than class, so don't worry about balance so much. Let me know if you have questions."

sith_happened

"Right," Anakin said. "We are not discussing why class didn't happen last week, but let's just say that gnomes who do not fulfil their contract's promise about layover times are very, very unhappy gnomes this week."

"But still breathing," Ahsoka quickly added. Because reasons. Anakin-related reasons.

"Today we're going to Greece," Anakin said. "Finally."

"Greece is home to a lot of ruins that are generally considered quite old for this planet," Ahsoka said, in a tone that suggested that 'this planet' was load bearing.

Anakin nodded. "And also really delicious food that my children say I'm not allowed to come home without."

"People also apparently have strong opinions on the sea." Which was all Ahsoka was going to say about that.

"There's a new movie about that," Anakin agreed.

imafuturist

Steve and Tony were in the front of the class wearing their paintball gear and having nothing else around them.

Suspicious...

"Today we're going back to the basics," Tony said. "Just some normal paintball."

So suspicious.

"It'll be fun," Tony added. Suspiciously.

good_for_six

There wasn't a projector set up this week, but there were an awful lot of (led) candles, and large black draperies.

"We're getting Gothic this week," Isabela cheerfully announced. "When it's good you get danger, atmosphere, ornate houses in foggy moors."

"You might even get social commentary," Aphra added. "When it's bad you get protagonists who are too dumb to live somehow not drowning themselves in the moors."

Three guesses which category this week's selections of books were from.

needsacatchphrase

The 3d printer was gone this morning, and in its place were several large tubs of brightly coloured plastic bricks.

"Now that you have characters, you need somewhere for them to play." Because theatre of the mind was for suckers, apparently.

"Which means building a map with blocks!" Jane said. "So, like a room or a building if you're feeling ambitious."

"Whatever you feel is your 'vibe'." Yes, Cara was making finger quotes there.

"So, let's see what you can build in the class period."

It was gonna be real pink no matter what.

That was just what happened when you were only able to get hold of what had originally been licensed sets.

but_mostly_america

Where had Sam been last week? He wasn't saying. It was Top Secret, obviously.

"Good morning class! Today we shall continue our exploration of things that are weird or not weird. As you are no doubt aware, there is plenty of weirdness to be found on this island on the calmest of days and today is not that calm."

Yes, Sam's luggage was all made of felt. It said things like "Not Patriotic Enough" and "My Child Married An Owl."

"But let us ignore the baggage! Today we shall discuss something that is almost but not always weird! COMIC BOOKS!"

"Obviously," Sam sniffed, "you should be reading literature instead. Much less weird." Sam was not really all that well-read. Shocking. "HOWEVER! There are exceptions! Some comic books are wonderful! Those that are a recounting of the adventures of our dear Captain America are, of course, not weird at all! Merely a colorful documentation of his incredible career!"

"Do any of you have experience with comic books?"

talentforlying

When students came in today, they'd find the following written on the board:

Temperantia (Temperance) versus Gula (Gluttony)

"We're keeping class short and sweet today," Constantine said dryly, from where he was sitting on a pile of suitcases and steamer trunks labeled things like 'baby killer,' 'manipulator,' 'murderer,' 'liar,' 'thief,' and more. "Because while I have no problem with you lot knowing my failures, some of you may want to get out of here sooner rather than later."

"Contrary to what the American Temperance movement of the 19th and 20th century would have you believe, Temperance is not about total abstinence," he joked, leaning back to put his feet up on a box labeled 'Astra.' "Temperance is about moderation, which is still something I'm utterly shite at."

"As human beings, we naturally enjoy the pleasures of food and drink and se-- other sensations." Everyone be proud, he remembered this was technically a class.

"If you asked Thomas Aquinas, the problem arises from 'inordinate desire' for them." Constantine waggled his eyebrows, and a giant suitcase tagged 'smoked so much I got lung cancer and learned nothing from it' fell from the ceiling.

He ignored it. "Derived from gula - meaning to gulp down or swallow, gluttony is best described as over-indulgence and over-consumption. It's a self-centeredness that focuses on the self rather than making sure there's enough for everyone."

"So, what does that make temperance?" John asked, leaning back on his throne of sins. "Well, she means 'moderation,' not total abstention. That's why the Temperance Movement didn't work -- they ignored Aristotle's warnings and went too far on the extreme from gluttony, tipping into abstinence, and we all know abstinence-only education doesn't work. Temperantia means 'self-control,' not 'total denial of self.'"

"Now it's time to confess, my cheery little sunshines." Constantine grinned widely. "Where do you struggle between our ladies of temperantia and gula? Me? Smokes. Drink. Magic. I don't believe in doing anything halfway."

"Alternately, if you aren't feeling up to confession, how do you feel gluttony is different from greed or lust?"

sith_happened

There was nothing set up in the park today--Anakin was getting sneakier. Even the t-shirts were kept hidden for the moment.

When he'd finally herded enough people into his ~~trap~~ ~~snare~~ area, Anakin pounced.

"Today," he announced, "we will be playing a new game! It's like telephone but instead of words, you will be drawing pictures onto your teammates backs! First team to get all three guesses correct wins."

What do you win? Didn't matter. "Come get your shirts!"

Team Monkey:
Rey
Stark
Steve R

Team Cow:
Sam
Kitty
Flint

intheeyeofthebeholding

“Right, so today we’ll be deciding what class we each want to play,” Jon said. He brought up a web site. "Class is your profession or inclination. it determines what kinds of things you can do in the game. There are a lot of different options. It's generally considered a good idea to have a range of classes in a group. So, at least one person that knows magic, one that can fight, and one that can heal. Possibly several that can heal."

He suspected this group might end up murder hobos. Call it a hunch.

"If you have any questions, please ask. Also please discuss as a group what you'd like to play - it should be enjoyable for everyone, but well balanced."

heroic_jawline

The holes filled with paint were covered back up again, which was probably not a great sign because the people-sized hamster balls had also made their reappearance. "Hello, everyone!" Steve said with a bright smile.

"So this is a sort of niche version of the game where there aren't any guns. Since you'll all be in the bubbles," Tony explained. "But we have kiddie pools of paint that you just need to trick or brute force your opponents into."

"It's going to be so much fun!" Steve said enthusiastically.

Steve would feel differently about how fun this was in a minute.

jedigrammarians

Today there was a projector screen set up along with everything else. You might have wondered why they wouldn't just be holding class up at the school in that case, but you'd probably get plied with more pastries and cocktails rather than getting an answer.

"We're getting meta today," Aphra declared, waving around her drink. "In what's known in literary circles as recursion, we're watching a movie about a book club."

Isabela nodded knowingly. "On the internet they'd probably call this a club-ception."

tellmehowstuffworks

The Danger Shop had been programmed to present itself as a luxuriously appointed salon--no, not a hair salon. The other sort of salon. There were heavy curtains and the sort of furniture options one might drape themselves upon (fancy a chaise longue, anyone?) and trays with little nibbles topped with caviar and chocolate truffles were being circulated by the virtual waitstaff, along with champagne.

"Well, I'd hardly call first period luxurious," Yennefer, dressed in a sort of heavily beaded caftan, sighed from where she was, you guessed it, draped on a chaise longue, "but that's the moose for you." She popped a truffle in her mouth, chewed, and swallowed. "I am Yennefer of Vengerberg, this is 'Living Luxuriously,' and I'd like to know what you consider luxuriant." For class ideas. Because Melitele knew she wasn't doing the work herself. "Where I'm from? Apple juice. We don't have refrigeration or the modern pressing technology you probably don't even think of, so it's next to impossible to get out of season. Now you," she said, gesturing vaguely in the general direction of a student.

wrongkindofsith

It was time for more arts and crafting in order to dungeon and or dragon. In addition to the crafting supplies from last session, there was also what looked suspiciously like a 3d printer that had been put together by a gremlin.

"So, this time we wanted to let you design your little guy instead of picking from a mystery box," Jane offered. "Well, as much as possible. The gremlins got at them last night."

"They apparently had fun," Cara added dryly. There was a lot of filament around the room. A lot.

"But we trust your creativity here!" And sure, they were amalgamations of both species and classes. But that was fine.

As was the sheer number of furry options.

talentforlying

"Why the fuck the moose keeps assigning me this shite, I do not know," Constantine said bluntly as soon as everyone had assembled.

"'M Constantine, I am the worst person possible to teach this class, but let's get into it, because I only have seven classes to cover all this nonsense," he continued. "Welcome to Virtues & Vices, which was supposed to be taught by that Atreides bird, but she's flown off for the summer."

"Once upon a time, Plato made-up the four Cardinal Virtues: prudence, justice, fortitude and temperance, forming the virtue theory of ethics. We call them 'cardinal' out of the Latin 'cardo', or 'hinge,' because all other virtues fall under them and hinge upon them. Aristotle then expounded upon them, and formalized the concept of the Golden Mean - the desirable middle between two extremes; one of excess and one of deficiency. True 'ethics' always fall in the middle. For example, in the Aristotelian view, courage is a virtue, but if taken to excess would manifest as recklessness, and, in deficiency, cowardice."

"These days, things have shifted somewhat, mostly due to religion." Yes, he was making a face. "By this world's High Middle Ages, they had slapped three theological virtues on to make it seven - faith, hope, and charity, so that the complimented the seven deadly sins."

"Because of course religion wants to add sin to everything. The seven deadly sins are a grouping of major vices, found within the teachings of early Christian Theological tradition. In the 'standard' list we see today, the sins are pride, envy, wrath, gluttony, lust, sloth, and greed."

"Interestingly, the virtues are almost always portrayed as women in art, despite how terribly religion likes to regard real-life women, while the vices in art can be depicted as either gender."

"So today, after a ton of theological bickering and philosophical back-and-forth, here's what many societies hold as the seven sins and virtues," Constantine sighed, writing on the board.

Castitas (Chastity) versus Luxuria (Lust)
Temperantia (Temperance) versus Gula (Gluttony)
Caritas (Charity) versus Avaritia (Greed)
Diligentia (Diligence) versus Acedia (Sloth)
Humanitas (Kindness) versus Invidia (Envy)
Patientia (Patience) versus Ira (Wrath)
Humilitas (Humility) versus Superbia (Pride)

"Now that you've got the infodump overview, let's dig in," he said dryly. "Chastity and Lust. How do YOU define each of those things? Do you have a particular favorite between the two?"

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