Fandom High School

"It is time," Vanessa intoned with great seriousness, "to decide...on your cake. This is the most important part of your event planning. Because..." She hurried over to the door and pulled in a cart covered in plates, "it's the time when you get to eat cake! Do you want chocolate? Do you want vanilla? Do you want coconut? Do you want red velvet with raspberry filling and cream cheese icing? Chocolate with chocolate ganache filling, chocolate buttercream icing, and chocolate shavings on top? Lemon filling? Buttercream? Meringue, even? You must choose! And so you must taste the cakes." Something occurred to her. "I really hope none of you are diabetics. Anyway, your job today is to taste the cakes helpfully provided by Jeff, God of Biscuits, and decide which flavor combination you want for your event. You're right," Vanessa continued, as if someone had spoken. "This really is the best class. There are plenty of plates and forks, so dig in!"

Vanessa had, upon discovering all her shirts were missing, considered just coming to class in her bra, but ultimately she'd put a dress on. These were still minors, after all.

"So, it's finally time to choose your venue! Remember, it has to have robust security but a lax weapons and outside alcohol policy plus a very flexible opinion on property damage...wait, those some of are my requirements. Yours might be different." Maybe not that different, though? "It also has to hold the number of people you're expecting, be available on your preferred date, and be in budget. So...where are you going to hold your event? This might take some research, and if you've procrastinated outside of class and don't already have some ideas...well, better get on your smartphone fast. Or you can tell the class your criteria and we'll help you figure out what might fit."

"You've already decided what kind of event you're holding and when you want to hold it," Vanessa said. "Now, you need to decide how many people are coming! You can't do anything else until you do, because what if you want to have two hundred people at your birthday party? Most people can't fit that many people in their house, and you're going to need a really big cake. Or if you want to have your wedding at this one place, but they'll only accommodate groups of fifty or more, and you want a small wedding with like twenty guests. It's important to know! So, make up a rough guest list, and count. For the record, in real life this process takes way longer than an hour of class time, but I think once you start thinking about it you'll get an idea of how tricky it can be."

"Hey, guys!" Vanessa said cheerily at the beginning of today's class. "So, I am Vanessa Carlysle, and I am planning my wedding. And it is a lot of work. Now, sure, you can just go down to the courthouse and get married with no fuss, but then you don't get presents." Hashtag priorities. "Or cake. So you've got to figure out where you're having the wedding, and when, and no that venue isn't available then, so you've got to reevaluate, and then you've got to pick out the dress and the colors and the bridesmaids dresses, and Candi's getting a boob job next week so she needs to wait to buy her dress until they heal, and the cake and the flowers and the music and do you want to pay extra to rent the fancy chairs? Do you want an open bar? Your friends drink a lot, but not having an open bar is seen as cheap. And with your friends, do you want to hire extra security? Maybe some paramedics? Oh, and speaking of the reception, do you need to book a whole second venue for that? And the food, what about the food? It's a million details, and if you're not scared yet, you should be. So, the good news is, my wedding is almost planned--it's in three months--and I've learned a few things!

"So here's how this class is going to work. You're going to plan a fictional event. Could be a wedding, could be a fancy birthday party, could be something else. Each week, we'll cover a different part of the event, until at the end you should have everything planned out and ready to go. Now, if at some point in the semester something happens, and you don't want to work on that event any more, say, suddenly weddings are traumatic for you, that's fine, but you have to pick a new event and do all the back work on it on your own time. This week, I want you to take a little time to decide what kind of event you'll be working on, and then introduce yourself and tell me a bit about your event. Okay? Okay."