Fandom High School

"Good afternoon, class," Jean-Paul said. "Today is our final class meeting before the final, and so, because I am a nice man--" hold your laughter "--I would like to give you this opportunity to study your notes for this class or any other, and to ask me any questions you may have." He paused for a moment, then realized it might be prudent to add, "That are relevant to this class."

He leaned back in his chair, waved his hand in a lazy arc, and said, "Go to it."

"Abandon all hope," Jean-Paul said somewhat gleefully. "Science cannot help you now. But we are going to make it try." He moved to the board and began writing as he spoke: "'An object at rest will stay at rest until acted on by an outside force.' Roll tape." The projector whirred to life, showing what seemed to be an instructional cartoon where a woman pointed at a box and it moved. "Telekinesis," a woman's pleasantly bland voice proclaimed, "is the ability to move an object with one's mind."

Jean-Paul erased the law of physics he'd just written on the board and wrote instead, in huge letters, 'HOW?'

"Telepaths," the voice continued, this time showing two cartoon people with little dashes between their heads, "can communicate with others using only their thoughts." Jean-Paul pointed again at the 'HOW?' on the board. Then he hit stop on the video and said, "You should know the routine by now. Pairs, discussion, et cetera."

Today, there was a basket of dark-lensed safety goggles beside the sign-in sheet, along with a sign instructing the students to take a pair. Once everyone was situated, Jean-Paul stood up from behind his desk and said, "Does everyone have a pair of goggles? Oui? If you would put them on, please. We will have no blindings in this class." He waited until they complied. "Now. Previously I would have needed a partner for this demonstration, but my sister...that is not the point. This is."

The room was momentarily filled with a burst of blindingly white light. When it cleared, Jean-Paul said, "You may now remove your goggles. You will find a handout on your desk." No, the handout hadn't been there before the demonstration. Sassy speedster. "Break up into pairs or groups. Discuss."

"I hope everyone had a lovely time with their parents this weekend, and is fully recovered from the trauma and ready to get back to work," Jean-Paul said. "My sister has apparently moved to San Francisco, where one of her will no doubt be deeply traumatized, so she could not be here." He sounded thrilled about this.

"Today, we begin talking about mass. The law of conservation of mass states that mass can be neither created or destroyed; it must come from somewhere. There is a set amount of mass in the universe, and it just gets...shifted around, if you will. When you gain weight, it does not happen for no good reason, and likewise you cannot gain more than the weight of the food you have eaten." Jean-Paul paused, then said, "And as you might expect, there are superhumans who blow this law of physics right out of the water. Some shapeshifters have a static mass they merely shift around, it is true. But others do not. Raven Darkholme, also known as Mystique, is a shapeshifter from my home universe." Jean-Paul had been careful to get a picture of her where she was wearing clothes. "She has a history of terrorism, and has used her ability to assume the identity of a number of public figures, including those who outweigh or underweigh her default form by several kilograms. She is, however, restricted to a human baseline form; she cannot become, say, the size of a housecat. Some can. A former coworker of mine could assume an alternate form much larger than he is normally.

"So. When a person shrink or grows, where does the additional mass go or come from? Pocket dimensions? An exchange across realities? Something about tiny strings? What are some reasons a person might have this ability? Discuss."

"When it comes to the matter of superhuman strength," Jean-Paul began his lecture today, "my options were many and varied. I finally decided, in the interests of fairness, on someone who is not a mutant." He turned on the projector. "Meet the Hulk. Horrible doses of radiation do not always kill; sometimes they turn you into an incredibly strong, tough being with the intellect of a tantrum-prone two-year-old. But I would not take the risk. The Hulk also poses a problem of mass I will not get into at this time. Curiously, the angrier the Hulk gets, the stronger he gets; this perhaps is tied to adrenaline production. No one really understands his biology. He can break tanks and support mountains on his back. Obviously, his muscle structure is very different from a normal human.

"But superstrength is not always caused by superhuman means. Consider the case of Liam Hoekstra, a child from Michigan in a mundane universe who, thanks to a genetic disorder, is capable of feats of strength and agility Olympic gymnasts would envy.

"Your assignment for today is to break into pairs and discuss some of the advantages and drawbacks of superstrength. Begin."

"Last week was obligatory," Jean-Paul said at the beginning of this week's class. "This week is mundane. Do not worry, we will get to the fun stuff shortly. This is basic physics, a very abbreviated rundown. If you are interested in the complexities, you are in the wrong class.

( Cut for science! )