jedigrammarians: (Aphra: love the hair!)
[personal profile] jedigrammarians
"Look at that, it's the last week of classes," Aphra said. "Which means it's time to show what you guys learned from our little trip through the cultural landscape by presenting your own cultural artifact, and discussing what cultural mysteries might be unlocked from it."

Translation, you got to pick the movie and make up a bunch of bantha poodoo about it!
jedigrammarians: (Aphra: computer)
[personal profile] jedigrammarians
Today Aphra had a games console set up in the Danger Shop that she looked to be in the middle of some percussive maintenance on. She waved at her students with the hydrospanner.

"Hologames are heaps of fun, especially if you're the kind of kid who doesn't really make a lot of friends." Not that that description had ever applied to anyone in the room. Ever. "And games like Fantasy Romance Sim: Everything Is On Fire and Now There Are Dragons, can really give you an idea of how people tick. Even if in the real world you can't slice them and take care of issues like them not being romanceable or having incompatible ethics systems.

"But don't worry, I've fixed this copy so you can date whoever you want!"
jedigrammarians: (Aphra: love the hair!)
[personal profile] jedigrammarians
"Frenemies!" Aphra greeted them cheerfully. "Possibly the best relationship description any civilisation has ever come up." Or at least the most applicable to her life for some bizarre reason.

"Because sometimes you want to hang out with people, sometimes you want to kill them, sometimes they're exact same person! Anyway, frenemies!."
jedigrammarians: (Aphra: poke poke)
[personal profile] jedigrammarians
"Today we're going to look at how meeting your girlfriend's family sucks, but sometimes it provides insight into the fact the relationship isn't working, and you should hook up with your partner's hot ex instead."

Aphra, the film wasn't about that. Technically.

Look maybe you should take the opportunity to explain the concept of unintended readings to the class.
jedigrammarians: (Aphra: chill)
[personal profile] jedigrammarians
"You know what's fun, kids? Collective bargaining! And sometimes it even works."

Look, Aphra grew up in a totalitarian state and was very cynical, that was practically a glowing recommendation for unions.
jedigrammarians: (Aphra: totes classy)
[personal profile] jedigrammarians
"There's been a lot written about how horror fiction manifests all kind of fears and worries of a society," Aphra started. "So go annoy the librarian until he points you in the right direction there."

Hope you enjoyed the hover bus you'd just been thrown under John-boy. "Today's holo is kind of a trip."
jedigrammarians: (Aphra: love the hair!)
[personal profile] jedigrammarians
"Technology is great!" This was not a particularly revelatory statement, given that there were pieces of tech Aphra would marry if she could. "Movies made by people with only the slightest understanding of the technology they're making it about? Are usually hilariously, astrally bad."

She pulled her goggles down over her eyes. "So let's enjoy the badness."
jedigrammarians: (Aphra: think fast)
[personal profile] jedigrammarians
"Hi, kids!" Aphra had the cheerfulness of someone who'd had a normal weekend. "Today we're going to be watching what I'm told is a classic multiverse story, 'Help, My Evil Double is Hot and Kind Of Into Me!'."

Far, far too cheerful.
jedigrammarians: (Aphra: totes classy)
[personal profile] jedigrammarians
"So a real popular theme in this planet's fiction is the love triangle," Aphra said. "Two or more people fighting over the affection of another, without even a single person ever bringing up the idea of a threesome, even when the the two people fighting are clearly more into each other than the supposed actual love interest.

"So today we're going to be following a hot lady spy as she tries to figure out if she wants the safe, boring girl next door type, or the hot, dangerous enemy lady spy." That wasn't actually the plot, Aphra.
jedigrammarians: (Aphra: love the hair!)
[personal profile] jedigrammarians
Aphra waved her hand at the screen. "Lady crime!"

Beat. "Different lady crime. Different vibe."
jedigrammarians: (Aphra: pretending to listen)
[personal profile] jedigrammarians
"See, kids, no matter what anyone tells you, you can learn valuable lessons from fiction, and not just the kind where people spends millions of words arguing over literary merit." Was this almost a lecture today? Perish the thought.

"Now the lesson of today's story is that no matter how well thought out your plan is, and how much you trust your partners, it's hard to account for other people and just how dumb they can be."
jedigrammarians: (Aphra: that's the plan)
[personal profile] jedigrammarians
"Welcome, kids!" Was Aphra deterred by the size of her class? Of course not, less work not remembering their names! "Welcome to Advanced Cultural Studies, where we examine this planet's cultural artifacts to discover what you people find truly important."

Or rather what Aphra found interesting. Which usually seemed to involve hot women and crime. "Anyway, we're looking at the first few hours of a period piece today, so enjoy the hair and costumes."
jedigrammarians: (Aphra: that's the plan)
[personal profile] jedigrammarians
"Continuing on our theme of developing important cultural insights, in this case presenting the forbidden but making it alluring." Or at least an insight into Aphra's taste in media. "Today we have Classy Crime Ladies Doing Sexy Crime."
jedigrammarians: (Aphra: that's the plan)
[personal profile] jedigrammarians
"Welcome back, everyone," Aphra, who was deeply annoyed by having to actually wear pants today, said. "Now the slackers who missed class can catch up on their own time, because today we've got a story about family.

"More specifically non-traditional family and the importance of libraries."

Also explosions and highly choreographed violence.
doubleohblonde: (Default)
[personal profile] doubleohblonde
Bond had told his students to meet him down in the Danger Shop today. Which was set up as with a number of viewing stations, complete with several comfortable chairs and sound dampening walls around each station. "Good morning, and welcome to our last class. I had intended on a written exam," he had not, "but given the recent events instead we'll be doing something much more leisurely."

Gestured to the viewing stations. "These have been set up with a library of different media from around this world and several others. I would like you to find something that sounds like it would be interesting to watch and enjoy it."


[Class Roster]
doubleohblonde: (Default)
[personal profile] doubleohblonde
Bond was actually in the classroom this morning, and he wasn't dressed like a pirate, so it would appear that things were back to normal today. There were also two long tables laid out with various dishes.

"Good morning class," Bond greeted them. "Now I've spoken briefly before about fusion cuisine. However, beyond food which is explicitly labelled as such, variations in available produce and cookware, amongst other factors in immigrant and diaspora populations, can result in food that is commonly believed to come from an immigrant culture as having distinct differences from dishes actually cooked in that culture's homeland, sometimes to the point these dishes were actually created in the country that perceives them as 'foreign'."

He gestured towards the tables. "Bearing that in mind, the left table contains dishes that one might find at the average American Chinese restaurant, while the other contains samples of Cantonese and Szechwan cooking, which are only two regional Chinese cuisines. I would like you to try a range of dishes from both tables and make note of differences between both between the American and Chinese dishes, and between the two styles of Chinese dish."

[Class Roster]
doubleohblonde: (Default)
[personal profile] doubleohblonde
On the plus side, Bond wasn't a pirate this week. On the minus side, he wasn't in the classroom, either. There was however a note on the board.

Class cancelled, because reasons.


Well, maybe that wasn't a minus to the class.

[ooc: sick, so no class. Sorry.]
doubleohblonde: (Default)
[personal profile] doubleohblonde
Bond's students had gotten an email telling them to come down to the Danger Shop this class. Whatever they were expecting class to involve, it probably didn't involve the deck of a sailing ship, or crystal blue seas.

Or the resplendent outfit Bond was wearing, complete with a magnificent long curls. Or the cutlass he waved as he informed them that shortly they were going to attack and plunder a British Navy vessel.

Someone might have been bitten by a gremlin this morning. Three guesses who.

[Class Roster]
doubleohblonde: (Default)
[personal profile] doubleohblonde
Bond emailed his students to meet him down in the computer lab today.

"Good morning," he greeted them. "I hope that none of you are the worse for wear after the last few days. In light of the fact it may seem a good idea to take comfort in the familiar, today we'll once again be looking at what is familiar to you. I would like you to spend the first half of the class looking for examples of popular culture from your own worlds here. If your world is at a technology level where it wouldn't be available online, you have my permission to head to the library to see if there are any relevant books there. Once you've all found an example, during the second half of the class you'll share your examples, speak a few words about what place they have in your culture, and answer any questions your classmates might have."

"Get to it."

[Class Roster]
doubleohblonde: (Default)
[personal profile] doubleohblonde
Bond was back in front of the class today. The desks where pulled together to form one long table, the contents of which were covered by drapes. This was not at all foreboding.

"Good morning, I trust you had a pleasant weekend," he greeted them with a smile. "Which actually brings us to today's topic. Because one of the many products that are affected by various cultural factors is confectionery. What's considered a snack rather than a dessert, flavours, types, ingredients, methods of production, even names, all these things can be culturally dependent, to the point that even items that are superficially the same, say a bar of milk chocolate, can be completely different when produced by different cultures." He most definitely wasn't saying anything about the differing qualities of British and American chocolate there, of course not.

"So today we'll be looking at a sample of offering from various countries and cultures." He removed the drapes covering the desks to reveal a vast array of bowls containing various kinds of sweets. "I'd like you to consider if there's any items or flavours here that you'd not have considered as confectionery before, and what kind of differences there are in items that you are familiar with. Also do enjoy yourselves."

Sometimes, Bond was a cruel, cruel man.

[Class Roster]
doubleohblonde: (Default)
[personal profile] doubleohblonde
Bond was nowhere in sight today. There was, however, a sign up at the front of the classroom.

Class cancelled due to severe glitter hangover.


Not that Bond actually had a glitter hangover, but it sounded more interesting than 'woke up with a raging head-cold'.

[ooc: cannot brain. no class means no ocd.]
doubleohblonde: (Default)
[personal profile] doubleohblonde
The projector screen was back at the front of the room again today.

"Good morning," Bond greeted the class. "Now previously we've looked at films from cultures from a common background, albeit quite some time back, that despite their differences they share more elements than not. Today we're going to be looking slightly further afield, by looking at Indian cinema, more specifically an offering from the section of the industry known as Bollywood, which is to say Hindi language films whose production base is in Mumbai. It is an an incredibly prolific industry, making films aimed at a broad audience, which makes it useful to compare against Hollywood blockbusters, which seek a similarly braod audience. For example today's film shares a genre with Hollywood's high octane heist films, yet also has a number of differences due to the conventions particular to the industry."

[Class Roster]
doubleohblonde: (Default)
[personal profile] doubleohblonde
The desks in the classroom had been arranged in a rough circle, so no movie today, kids.

"Good morning, class," Bond greeted them. "And welcome back from your break. Speaking of which, one way to learn about a culture is to spend a period time immersed in it, so today I'd like those of you who went on the school trip to talk about what you learnt about the culture there, any one who instead went to their homes can discuss if they noticed if anything felt different once they were back there."

[ooc: wait for ocd]

[Class Roster]
doubleohblonde: (Default)
[personal profile] doubleohblonde
The projector screen was up once again at the front of the classroom.

"Good morning, class," Bond said. "Now given that some of you are likely still recovering from the weekend, we're going to have a somewhat laid-back class today, where rather than listening to me go on about how the various waves of immigration combined with a ready availability of fresh produce and a large population centres being mostly based along the coastline created various kinds of modern Australian cuisines in various regions, you get to watch a show involving that food."

[Class Roster]
doubleohblonde: (Default)
[personal profile] doubleohblonde
Today's food offerings were back to hot drinks and pastries. Also popcorn. That and the projector screen might have given the class a clue about what this morning's class would involve.

"Good morning," Bond greeted the class once they'd all arrived. "Once again we'll be looking at a film, however today's offering comes from a non-US American culture. As such, not only do I want you to consider what kinds of concerns and values the culture that created this film might have, I also want you to be on the lookout for elements that you don't understand, for example jokes you don't eat, and also unfamiliar themes. For example, American films often have themes of individualism and exceptionalism, where the hero stands alone."

"With that in mind, let's start watching."

[Class Roster]
doubleohblonde: (Default)
[personal profile] doubleohblonde
Rather than a selection of pastries, there was a breakfast buffet set up along one side of the room this morning.

"Today we're going to start looking at the place of food in culture," Bond said, once they'd all arrived and he'd greeted them. "As one of the fundamental human needs, food plays a large role in various human cultures, with styles of cooking and ways of eating being influenced by any number of factors, some obvious, such as availability of ingredients or dietary restrictions, others more subtle for example that in the English language the names for livestock and names for the meat from said livestock come from two different language groups from reflecting the difference between the population raising the meat and the one eating the meat."

"So your topic for discussion today is to consider the place of food in your culture, what kind of things you eat, any kinds of ritual involved, are there taboos about where and when you can eat, or what you can eat, and also how they differ from here in Fandom."

[Class Roster]
doubleohblonde: (Default)
[personal profile] doubleohblonde
Bond did not have the projector screen up again his week, woe. The hot drinks and pastries were still there though.

"Good morning, clas. I hear that some of you had an interesting weekend courtesy of the island." His own had been fairly quiet, except for some of his trousers going missing. "While I doubt you particularly want to revisit it, it does provide an opportunity to touch on the idea of deep structures, which are those elements of our cultures that are so fundamental and ingrained that we don't so much learn as absorb them as we're exposed to expressions of them since before we can remember."

"Which of course raises the question of what happens to those deep structures when you're a newly blank slate, so today I'd like you to discuss any differences in behaviour that you observed in either yourself, or in others if you managed to avoid being affected by it, doubly so if they are things you'd never expect to see yourself doing, and if you believe these changes might have been attributed no longer know that people just do or don't do something."

[ooc: wait for ocd]

[Class Roster]
doubleohblonde: (Default)
[personal profile] doubleohblonde
Today Bond's classroom was set up with a projector screen. However, much like last week, there were pastries and hot drinks set out for the students.

"Good morning," Bond greeted them. "Now, I was going to get you grounded in some theory this week, but my player has plague and cannot brain my notes were lost when ice water fell on me while I was at my desk and shorted out my computer. So instead we'll be watching some episodes of Galaxy Quest then having a group discussion."

"Now, those of you familiar with the show may wonder why exactly I've chosen a science fiction show for this class, but the fact of the matter is that most speculative fiction regardless of where and when it's set, often says more about the here and now than its putative setting. With some examples its because the creators have chosen to engage with the issues of the day while using the distance provided by the setting to slip past censors or viewers' prejudices. While in other cases, it's more accidental and unconscious."

"Now Galaxy Quest has the advantage of it's two incarnations being produced in quite different decades, while still having mostly the same cast. So we'll be watching an episode of both the old and new shows, and while you're watching I want you to look out for both noticeable and subtle differences between the two. Then once that's done, I want you to discuss not only the differences that you noticed by speculate about what larger cultural shifts might have been responsible, if any."

[Class Roster]
doubleohblonde: (Default)
[personal profile] doubleohblonde
Bond had his class meet him in an ordinary classroom, with various pastries and hot drink set up near the door.

"Good morning, class," he greeted them once they'd arrived. "For those of you who haven't had a class with me before, I'm Professor Bond and this is Comparative Culture. Over the course of the semester we'll be looking at some of the similarities and differences between different human cultures. Now if we were at an ordinary school where we could make assumptions that we all came from the same culture, we'd begin by examining and deconstructing that own culture before moving on to other, but as that's not the case, we'll instead be looking at how dominant cultural norms might be conveyed through cultural artefacts. Translation: we're going to be watching a lot of films, looking at a lot of art, and eating a lot of food, with some theory sprinkled in as garnish."

"But all that is for later in the semester. This is the first week of class, which means we all get to do introductions. Which we can also use to start shaking loose some bollocks about cultural assumptions. Often different cultures will have different cultural norms, that is to say ideas of what's considered normal, expected, or polite behaviour, often to the point that a member of that culture will not even consciously think about those behaviours until presented with another culture's norms, which is one way that stereotypes are created, but cultures are also made up of individuals, and how closely a given individual adheres to any given norm will depend on any number of factors."

"So for your introductions, I would like your name, class, and two cultural norms from your home culture, large or small, one you feel you adhere to closely and one you don't. For example, and while as as a former member of Her Majesty's Navy I feel a connection to our naval tradition, I tend to prefer coffee over tea."

[Class Roster]
so_hawkward: (Default)
[personal profile] so_hawkward
When Clint ushered the students through their portal today, they would find themselves on a nice, warm beach.

"Hey guys, I didn't think this class really warranted a final, so your 'final' is to lay back and relax without worrying about chocolate rain or polar bears." Drop bears were a different story, but Clint figured they were pretty safe here. "I want to thank you for putting up with me this semester. Go get some vitamin D and have fun."
so_hawkward: (Default)
[personal profile] so_hawkward
Late last night, Clint had left a handwavey voicemail message for all of his students telling them not to come to class, and to avoid leaving the dorms at all. On one hand, holding class would have gotten his students away from the town for a little while, but there was no way Clint's conscience would let him ignore the current situation for even a small amount of time.

The concern that someone might not have gotten his message, combined with hearing about Jono's bright idea from yesterday, had Clint patrolling outside the school instead, keeping an eye out for students, or anything else that might try to come this far into the island. He hadn't died at all yet today, so he figured he was already starting the day with a few brownie points; it couldn't hurt to earn some more.

[Open! Clint will be hanging out between the school and the dorms all day.]
so_hawkward: (Default)
[personal profile] so_hawkward
After Clint ushered everyone through the portal, the students would find themselves in a busy, metropolitan area. "Hey guys, welcome to Dubai," he said, looking even more excited than usual. "Dubai is a fairly independent city-state in the United Arab Emirates, and while a lot of people think of the Middle East as a dangerous place, Dubai is actually pretty modern and progressive thanks to super rich business folks who came in, built the place up over time, and made it an international center of commerce. After that came a ton of tourism, and now Dubai is one of the richest city-states in the world. In fact, Dubai is such a wealthy place that they were able to build that--the Burj Khalifa, the tallest man-made structure in the world. How tall is it? Well, we're going to find out."
so_hawkward: (Default)
[personal profile] so_hawkward
Anyone who was good at reading people might have noticed that Clint's smile was a little faked today as everyone made their way through the portal. "Hey guys, our original portal wasn't working this morning, so we've made a little detour instead to Budapest," he said. "This is the capital of Hungary, in Europe, and while the city's pretty old there's still a lot to see and do. It's also a pretty safe place to visit." Not that he knew anything about that personally, really. "Today, we're going to pretend like we're really cultured. If you're already cultured, congratulations, you've got a head start."
so_hawkward: (Default)
[personal profile] so_hawkward
"Hey guys," Clint said, after having ushered everyone to a classroom. "I was told it was likely that our portal today would take us to somewhere in the 1700s - with no specifics on what year in that entire block of a century we might land in - so I decided a movie might be a safer bet." He might have been stupid adventurous enough to give it a shot, but not with students.
so_hawkward: (Default)
[personal profile] so_hawkward
Before class, Clint had sent everyone a message about bringing swim clothes with them, and he was trusting technology to be on his side for once.

"Hey guys," he said, once everyone had made it through the portal. "Since it's getting colder in Fandom, and since a bunch of you asked for this at the beginning of the semester, I figured we'd have a beach day today, so welcome to Fiji, specifically Wailoaloa Beach. I'm sure you've all had a long week, and even if you haven't, pretend you have and take some time to relax and go for a swim, okay?"
so_hawkward: (Default)
[personal profile] so_hawkward
When the students made their way through the portal at Portalocity today, they would find themselves in some nice, mild weather.

"Hey guys, welcome to Mexico," Clint said. "For some of us, the day after Halloween is just half-price candy day, but it's also a pretty important holiday to a lot of folks around the world. Some call it All Saint's Day, and here in Mexico it's Dia De Los Muertos, but no matter what you call it, it's all about remembering friends and family members who have died. I hope some of you are lucky enough that you don't have anyone to think about, but if you've got someone to remember, today might be a good time to do so. If nothing else, check out the festivities, and make sure you eat at least one sugar skull." They were only a little creepy!
so_hawkward: (Default)
[personal profile] so_hawkward
When the students arrived at the Danger Shop, they'd find a typed note from Clint (because spell check was a wonderful thing, as was people being able to actually decipher the note):

Hey guys, Portalocity is overloaded today with people coming for the weekend so class is cancelled. Have fun at the carnival (avoid the dunk tanks nothing good is there) and don't do bad things at the dance.

--Clint Barton


He wasn't sure anyone would listen to that last part, and he didn't really care, but he figured it looked responsible and such.
so_hawkward: (Default)
[personal profile] so_hawkward
Clint had directed the students to come to one of the classrooms today, where they'd find a bunch of books laid out about Italian culture, things to do in Tuscany, and translating phrases from English to Italian.

"It seemed a little weird to go somewhere when most of us are about to go somewhere for a whole week," Clint explained, "so I figured it would be a good idea to use this time to prepare for the fall break trip. The best trips are the ones you're at least somewhat prepared for, so find some things you might want to do while we're away, or figure out how to say a few things in Italian. Phrases that might get you out of trouble are always a good idea." Not that Clint knew that from experience or anything.
so_hawkward: (Default)
[personal profile] so_hawkward
Clint had been crossing his fingers that going through a portal into a different country would make the Fandom weird go away, but no, they just couldn't be that lucky, could they? He'd given the students a handwavey warning to dress warmly, and he was really glad for that plan now.

"Welcome to Nuuk, Greenland," he said once everyone made it through the portal. Hopefully, they'd all seen his message and prepared for low 40's weather. "Nuuk is the capital of Greenland, and therefore one of the most green places in this very icy country. Greenland is technically part of Denmark, but Denmark is nice and lets them do their own thing, probably because no one from Denmark wants to come up here and run the place." Clint's previous time in Greenland had involved a lot of ice, in case that wasn't obvious. "Even though it's a little cold, it's still beautiful here, but I also don't want to take up a ton of your time since I know you've got parents and relatives and all that to deal with today. So, we're going to do some whale watching, and have some time to cool off." Both literally and figuratively.
so_hawkward: (Default)
[personal profile] so_hawkward
Clint had sent everyone a message telling them to meet him in one of the classrooms today, and when the students got there, they'd find Clint with a television, some beanbags, and popcorn.

"Dealing with Portalocity today probably isn't the best idea." Thanks, radio! "So, I figured we'd play it safe today with a movie and some chill time. It's probably safer for everyone that way."
so_hawkward: (Default)
[personal profile] so_hawkward
"Welcome to Georgia," Clint said once he'd ushered everyone through at the Portalocity office. "If you're familiar with the US, we're not in the state of Georgia. This is the country, over in the Caucasus Mountains." In case they'd missed the view in the distance and all. "The Georgian people are very hospitable, honorable, and respectful, and they expect the same treatment from their visitors. Not that I think that's going to be a problem or anything." Clint was growing fond of his students, as usual. "We're going to head into Tbilisi, which is the capital city and one of the few places we're likely to find people who speak English. It's been destroyed and rebuilt a good twenty-something times, so there's plenty for us to do. I've got maps for everyone and I'm just going to let you guys roam free today, but try to at least stick in pairs so you're less likely to get lost."
so_hawkward: (Default)
[personal profile] so_hawkward
Clint had sent everyone a message to dress for warm weather, although he was wearing his usual t-shirt and jeans as he waited for the class at the Portalocity office. Sorry ladies, he didn't do shorts.

"I know a bunch of you asked to go to places with beaches, but I figured we'd save something like that for a week when we need some relaxation." Clint had been here long enough now that he knew the nice, peaceful island time they were experiencing wouldn't last forever. "Today, we're going to Kenya, specifically the Maasai Mara Reserve, for some safari time." It was possible Clint was using this class as an excuse to do fun things he hadn't gotten to do when visiting these foreign countries himself, but he didn't think the students would mind. "If you want to go back to your room and grab a camera or something, go ahead. We'll portal over when everyone's ready."
so_hawkward: (Default)
[personal profile] so_hawkward
Clint had triple checked that everything was set at the Portalocity office in town for this class - call it first day nervousness, call it a desire to not get fired for losing students via portals, but either way Clint was ready to go by the time everyone arrived.

"Hey guys," he said, giving everyone his most easygoing smile. "Welcome to Cultural Exploration. I hope you're all in the right place, and if you're not, you're welcome to come along for the ride anyway. I'm Clint Barton, and you can call me Mr. Barton if you want to, but it's also cool if you don't want to be that formal or whatever. Today, we're going to start off by visiting Paris, France. I have some places I want you to check out, and we'll get to all the introduction stuff at the end."

He was pretty sure there was a rule against not having introduction time somewhere in the school handbook, but finding out for certain would involve reading it, and that just wasn't happening.
[identity profile] badnewsandwit.livejournal.com
Morrigan had a bandage strapped to her hand, and the murderous look in her eyes stated clearly that if Alistair said anything, she would bite his face off. (Or maybe he'd already said something, resulting in attempted face-biting, and she was merely angry that she hadn't succeeded. That was unlikely, but Alistair liked to be optimistic about his chances.)

"Welcome back," Alistair said. "I heard you suffered through quite an ordeal last week. I... wasn't here, so I don't know the exact-- details, but I am terribly glad to see you all here and in one piece."

For his standards, that was solemn and sedate. Be happy.

"As for your final... well, cultural understanding isn't something that's all that easy to put a grade to. I mean, some would say you've all already done a fairly good job of it, what with not beating each other's skulls in at the slightest provocation."

Solemn and serious. FOR ALISTAIR. OKAY.

"So let's just talk about what you all learned from each other, and then we'll just say you all pass." He clapped his hands. Only partly to taunt Morrigan. "Right! On you go!"

"Feel free to share any memories that you might have, either from class or of your homes, that stand out for you," Morrigan added. "Since I'm sure many of you have not quite recovered from the past few weeks." And just in case the other magic was still lingering around, picking things up.
[identity profile] ofthe-wilds.livejournal.com
"By now, we are all aware that darkness stalks the island's shores," Morrigan began simply, once everyone had arrived. "So today, we shall simply talk. Each culture - not to mention each person - meets adversity in a different manner."

"Some people, especially the big, strong and quiet types, like to beat things up, or sit around brooding," Alistair said, his usual chirp very much absent, though the dry humor wasn't. "Which is a little boring, if you ask me. Have you ever tried to have a conversation with someone like that? I mean, with some of the templars, I'd taken up making faces just to see what they'd do."

You did not want to deal with a bored Alistair. Especially not during times of crisis.

"Others find their solace in nature, or by sharing their feelings with their friends," Alistair continued, "Me, I don't think there's anything wrong with a good joke or two. After all, what's a good end of the world if you can't laugh about it?" He sounded distinctly sardonic, though, edging towards downtrodden.

"Some of us have simply do not have a previous frame of reference for loss," Morrigan continued frankly, "-and may not not know what it is they should do with themselves. Others simply repress all feelings in favor of carrying on and not letting anyone know that something is wrong, which cannot be healthy." Yes, students, she's referring to most of you.

"So," said Alistair, a little bolstered by the fact that Morrigan was putting in an effort like this - not that he'd ever admit it, "We're here to talk. To share. To strategize. Or to make terrible jokes. It's up to you."
[identity profile] ofthe-wilds.livejournal.com
"So there's been some... strange things going on here lately," Alistair attempted. He'd heard nothing of the kind from home, but then home was a bit busy with all the darkspawn and everything... "So we thought we'd focus on something that might help you all if we find ourselves in another crisis. Medicine! Heaaaaaling people."

"You are so incredibly strange sometimes that I don't know where to begin," Morrigan said, pinching the bridge of her nose. "In most of Thedas, healing is the realm of mages and the Circle, which can make it difficult to access for the average villager. Sometimes the local Chantry will have a Sister or a Brother that has learned some herblore, but it's more likely there's a family somewhere nearby where the matriarch is a midwife - and occasionally gets accused of witchcraft."

"Brewing a healing potion isn't a crime," Alistair retorted. "Not that I don't think the Chantry goes just a little overboard in its pursuit of witches, especially if someone has a wart and happens to live in a shack and might have looked at someone oddly once. But in Denerim, you don't have to go that far to get a potion or two."

"'Tis true, herbalism is not illegal, but the Chantry is not especially tolerant of those who live in shacks and look at people oddly," Morrigan agreed cheerfully. "'Tis good to hear that in cities the potions are easier to come by, but that serves to highlight the disconnect between the rural areas and their more monied cousins."

"Many of you are from realms without magic. How, then, does your healing happen?"

"Herbs or poultices or something?" Alistair piped in. Not that he knew a lot about medicine. "A bandage is a bandage either way - but if it's not, tell us."
[identity profile] badnewsandwit.livejournal.com
For class today, Morrigan and Alistair had shoved all the seats to one side of the room, leaving a large clear area. "We told you last week what would be expected today," Morrigan began crisply. "If you did not audition for the recital-thing, you will perform for us now."

"We care not what it is - holiday or otherwise - merely that you share some form of entertainment."

"So no, it doesn't have to be about... whatever you do that isn't Satinalia," Alistair contributed. He had puppets lying in his lap. Please don't ask him why he had puppets. "But it should be something like home. Or something that reminds you of home. Or just a very good joke..."
[identity profile] ofthe-wilds.livejournal.com
"Hello, everyone," Alistair said, waving at the class. "No lecture for you today. But we do have an incredibly important assignment. A test of your cunning... and will."

"Not to mention creativity," Morrigan continued crisply. "It has come to our attention that there is some sort of pagent festival being put on by the local player-house."

"So get your singing and dancing shoes on," Alistair chirped, then paused. "...That sounded better in my head somehow..."

"You may either audition alone, or with a group of classmates," Morrigan offered. "Since it is a cultural exchange, you may use class time today to work on your offering."

She was being helpful. Really.

"You can actually audition at the playhouse," Alistair said, trying not to give Morrigan the side-eye, "Or you can just show us something next week."
[identity profile] badnewsandwit.livejournal.com
Don't ask how your teachers had managed to program the Danger Shop into an art museum. Just don't. It involved something regarding Morrigan bribing gremlins, and some moonshine that typically made humans go blind and - yes. But today, the students would be walking into an art museum.

Alistair's attention kept getting pulled towards a particular painting somewhere off in the corner, but he was doing his damnedest to concentrate. "Art is a big part of most cultures," he began, though the expression on his face betrayed that this wasn't really his kind of topic. "What you see here is the sort of art that's popular in this time and place. It's very..." He searched for a diplomatic word, "...Squiggly, from what I can tell."

"The moddable pieces you see here today were picked by local - ah - residents," Morrigan supplied helpfully, which probably explained the eclectic range of selections. "Of course, everyone has different definitions of 'art,' and what is or is not obscene or beautiful."

"Oh, look. This one has three eyes," Alistair commented absently. "But I'm sure /that/ wasn't a waste of money..."

Morrigan just shrugged. "At least it isn't some Orlesian woman with birds in her hair," she pointed out. "I will never understand noble portraits."

"That said, go wander about and find something moddable that you like. Or, convince the spirit in the room to make a recreation of a famous work of art from your home."

"And then we'll talk about--"

Pause.

"... Maker, are those hounds playing cards?!"
[identity profile] ofthe-wilds.livejournal.com
"Welcome," Alistair greeted the students, looking fairly pleased with himself. "Have some candy! We've got plenty. They keep handing it out everywhere!" Possibly because Alistair almost never took his armor off...

Or because some squirrels wanted to see how much sugar it would take before Morrigan turned him into a frog again. Judging by the way her jaw was set, critical mass was probably going to be sometime soon.

"Please don't eat it all at once," she sighed. "For you will need some for class today, and I will not hold your head if you eat yourself ill on sweets."

"Right," Alistair said. He took another handful of candy, and grinned. "We were... going to talk about games today. The ways we play, what we play, that sort of thing. I mean, everyone learns to play every now and again, right? Even if the bloody clerics tell you to stay put and be a good boy, Alistair--" He swallowed down some candy. "--Actually, those are the best games. The looks on their faces!"

"'Tis certain you would not approve of the games my mother taught me," Morrigan said, mildly. "But, 'tis my understanding that nearly all cultures enjoy a good wager."

"So today, you all get to introduce and play some games from your home worlds," Alistair said cheerfully. "And bet on them!"

He stole some more candy. Sigh.

Morrigan's eye twitched. Slightly. "Keep your betting to the candy, if you will," she continued. "Unless you are willing to risk losing more than you have."

"And that's not what we're here to educate you about!" Alistair chirped. "Heeee."

Fandom High RPG



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