fandomhigh | Entries tagged with spycraft

"You've been a mostly adequate class this semester," Anakin told them, sweeping past them in his Jedi robes. "And while you're obviously not ready for a life of espionage after one class, I feel like you would not die immediately due to what most of you retained in lessons in this course."

High praise, Anakin.

He stood up. "This room will fill with knock-out gas in five minutes. Convince me not to do it."

Well, that was one way to do a final.

sith_happened

"Hello again," Anakin said with a little smile. "We're almost to the end of our time together, so today is a chance to see how much information you've retained."

He settled behind his desk. "Pretend I am your supervisor. Write up a fake report about a contact you are developing and tell me why you've picked this fake person, what you hope to learn from them, and how that will achieve our objectives of a peaceful planet or galaxy, depending on your home of origin."

sith_happened

"Today we're going to make sense of secrets," Anakin said. "You can crack codes and shake people down in coffee shops for information all day long but if you can't slot what you've learned into a larger picture, your work is useless. So today we're going to do a simple series of exercises to help you put together the pieces."

He pointed to a safe, then to a cafe table, and finally to a computer. "You must crack the code on the safe, then break the code on the information inside it. You sit at the cafe table to receive a not from a contact: they will say 'nice weather today, isn't it?' and you must reply, 'But it might rain tomorrow.' And finally, you must scroll Twitter until someone starts complaining about a sudden change in their weekend plans. At which point, you have the three pieces of information to learn where a major world leader will be on Saturday."

He smiled. "Easy!"

sith_happened

"Hello, everyone," Anakin said as his students arrived. "Today we have a quick educational video to watch and then discuss how the information gathering technique the duck employees would be effective in other interactions.

The technique was "annoy the crap out of someone until you get what you want.'

And the music was earwormy as hell.

Once they'd all watched the video, Anakin smiled a little evilly. "Could the video itself be used in information gathering?"

Like putting it on and walking away for an hour?

"Discuss."

sith_happened

"Today we will be working on your persuasion techniques," Anakin said, gesturing around at the very generic cafe he'd programmed into the Danger Shop. "I am a mid-ranking government official from a country or planet your government is interested in spying on. I have damaging information about my boss. Your job is to get me to tell it to you."

He smiled. "All options you can think of are on the table today, but remember that I'm a trained Jedi and mind tricks have no effect upon me."

He sat down in one of the metal cafe chairs. "Perhaps can start by buying me a cup of coffee."

sith_happened

Today's classroom was pitch black except for dramatic green laser beams crisscrossing the room.

"I wish I could say that in my life I've never had to get across a room like this," Anakin said, "but that would be a lie. So now you have to do it too!"

Such fun for you.

"Unlike the one I dealt with, this will not bring instant death if you touch the beams." That's very reassuring, right? "Instead it will just sting like hell and set off an alarm, bringing security with guns in ten seconds."

He waved his hand and a single white light illuminated a safe on the far side of the room. "You have to get across the room, break open the safe using the skills from last week, and get back across the room with the document inside. You have ten minutes. You may not use your powers."

That was enough time and instruction! Probably!

"You may begin now."

And a ten minute timer began counting down on the wall.

sith_happened

"I trust you are not using your newly forged spy skills to hide in dark corners and kiss people," Anakin said dryly, "and I'm not insane enough to use this week to teach you about using...wiles...to distract your adversaries."

He coughed. "Instead we will watch...instructional videos about protocol. Very dull ones."

Anakin was a giver that way.

sith_happened

Anakin swooped into class with his normal flair, trying to pretend like he didn't have a koala clinging to his shoulders and riding in his hood.

But he did.

But he wouldn't admit it.

"Today we are going to learn about lying in the face of overwhelming evidence," he said. "Sometimes in espionage, you will get caught and exposed as a spy. Obviously, you cannot admit that you are working for a foreign adversary because that generally leads to immediate, generally horrible, consequences. But we're not going to start off with lying about your jobs. We'll start easier." He sighed to himself. "For example, I do not have a koala on me today."

But he did.

"You need to try to prove to me that I do."

sith_happened

There was a movie screen set up in front of the classroom, but don't get too excited, kids. "Today we're watching a Bund film," Anakin said. "But only the first half hour. At that point, I will turn it off and we will have a discussion about all the things he's done wrong. It will be an extensive list."

Enjoy ~~meta for~~ Golden Eye, everyone!

sith_happened

Anakin was still giving his chrono a dubious, suspicious looks today.

"Right," he said, glancing up when the students arrived. "Yesterday was irritating. But think like spies: how would communications going awry have worked to your advantage? And if you needed to communicate electronically yesterday--say there was an important mission--how would you have approached things to ensure success?"

sith_happened

Today's Danger Shop was set up to look just like the town, only with a variety of unfamiliar people wandering through it. "Today you need to work on navigating through a crowd and dodging a tail--a person following behind you, not a literal tail," Anakin said because being clear was important in Fandom.

He handed out slips of paper. "You need to give this--unnoticed--to the fake Tino at Caritas and make your way back without your tail intercepting you or getting the message from Tino after you've dropped it off."

He paused, then handed out an additional envelope. "This will buy Tino's loyalty, though it might also work for your tail. It's your choice to decide which version you pursue." Anakin glanced down at his chrono. "You have a half hour to complete the task. The costumes are out if you feel it necessary to utilize them. Begin." He snapped his fingers. "Oh. No powers."

sith_happened

"Welcome back," Anakin said, waving the students into seats behind computers. "One of the most important parts of espionage is the ability to substitute one truth with another. So today you're going to be engaging in misinformation campaigns online."

Yes, students, troll people for class credit. This will go great!

"Launch at least three misinformation campaigns on Twitter. I will grade you on creativity and how many people believe your story."

sith_happened

"Hello," Anakin said, giving a small smile to some familiar faces, "and welcome to espionage. Unlike spy movies, working covertly doesn't usually involve car chases, explosions, and wearing tuxedos."
He wrinkled his nose. "And that's good. Tuxedos are very uncomfortable."

He wheeled out a mobile wardrobe to the center of the room. "That said, sometimes you do need particular outfits in order to blend in and pretend to be someone else. That is your task today: go through this ~~moddable~~ array of outfits, come up with a persona, and use it to get past me. I will be pretending to be a bored security guard." He smiled. "You have twenty minutes."

notmysupervisor.livejournal.com

“You guys are the worst spies ever,” Pam announced, at the start of class. She was just getting that out of the way now.

Hey, weren’t you all glad that Pam wasn’t possessed by strange beeping ghosts any more? More importantly, had Cheryl figured out yet that Pam was possessed, orrrr did she just think she’d hallucinated that whole mess?

Cheryl hadn't totally ruled out that Pam had gotten into her own stash of hallucinogens, honestly. So forgive her for still side-eyeing her co-teacher a little, here.

"Completely the worst," she agreed. "I can't believe that after a whole semester of this, you guys are still so bad at it. I mean, you could have taken my advice and stopped showing up and you'd still be better off."

...please note that they had no evidence that anyone here was a bad spy. No one had been asked to demonstrate any spy skills in weeks.

( you guys are gonna miss us, right? )

notmysupervisor.livejournal.com

“BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP-BEEP-BEEP BEEEEEEEP,” enthused Pam, as she raced around the classroom, eyes wide. “BEEP BEEP BEEP WOOOOP WOOOOOOOOP WOOOOOOP.”

She started weaving a pattern through the chairs, flicking her eyes around for anyone who looked dangerous. Or like they had gigantic, world-ending gaping maws instead of normal mouths.

"Why are you all here?" Cheryl asked, a little more lucid than usual as she flailed a pill bottle at Pam in self-defense. "Like I know I always ask you that, but did you not notice that we're fucking haunted or something? Go home."

The pill bottle hit Pam’s face mid-WOOP, and her expression changed. “BOIKA BOIKA BOIKA BOIKA PEW PEW PEW PEW BOIKA BOIKA BOIKA PEW PEW PEW!!!!” Her eyes were as big as saucers now, and she was fleeing to the back of the classroom, possibly knocking over a few of the empty chairs as she went. She began thumping against the wall, hoping for some kind of secret entrance.

THE PILLS MEANT THE FEEDING HAD BEGUN! VITAMINS WERE THE END! THE MAN OF PAC HAD COME TO FEAST UPON HER SOUL!!!!!!!

"So now's a good time to leave," Cheryl yelled, actively shooing people out, now. "I'm going to lock her in here, time to go."

Goddammit. She was going to have to wait until Monday to get that shit refilled.

A PLAN! A PLAN! WHAT IF, FOR ONCE, THE TABLES TURNED?! WHAT IF SHE BECAME THE FEEDING CREATURE?

“BOIKA BOIKA BOIKA PEW PEW PEWWWWWWWWW!” Pam screamed, as she scooped the pill bottle from its place on the floor. “BOCK BOCK BOCK BOCK WOOOOOP!”

She downed most of the contents in one go. She didn’t feel like she had transformed into a devouring mouth that could swallow the world in one go -- although colors were suddenly a whole lot prettier. Maybe she could test it out. Like, say, on one of those unsuspecting* student-types sitting in one of those chairs.

*No effing way.

“WOOO WOOO WOOO WOOOO WOOOOOOO,” she trilled, as she stalked close to the nearest one. Assuming he or she was braindead enough that they were not already getting the fuck out of Dodge.

[yeah, Pam is possessed by a Pac-Man ghost. Actually no OCD incoming, but feel free to react as you're chased away! This is the Pam and Cheryl version of canceling class via email, minus the email or actually canceling class before they get there.]

notmysupervisor.livejournal.com

Today, students would find that Cheryl and Pam had not actually managed to make the Danger Shop into anything. No, instead, they were in a normal classroom, but for a given value of normal, per usual.

For one thing, Cheryl and Pam being anywhere made it automatically not normal, especially given Cheryl's particularly glazed expression and the tube of glue she was sniffing not-at-all discreetly.

For another, and possibly more noticeably, there were play tunnels set up all over. Because no one here was actually going to climb into an air duct for preparation for this class, regardless of what they were asking the kids to do.

"I hope you all came high," Cheryl greeted them. "Because I'm not sharing, and this has the potential to be trippyyyyyyyyy."

( what a great way to kick class off, Cheryl )

holyshitsnacks.livejournal.com

"Pam, let's think of things we'd rather do on a Friday morning than be here," Cheryl said thoughtfully. "I can think of...seventeen."

Pause.

"One of them involves ice picks. No, wait. Tw...at least three involve ice picks."

“Did you count lobotomies?” Pam asked. “I can’t imagine that didn’t crack the top three. Me, I need to be on the internet, managing those pics that went viral.”

Eat your heart out, Kim Kardashian.

( Teleconferencing. When we get around to it. )

notmysupervisor.livejournal.com

Class was certainly in for a treat today. And by "treat," of course, we mean "another life-scarring experience."

The classroom appeared to be empty, at first glance, until you noticed the lumpy pile in the corner of the room. The pile was under a few blankets, but there was a random foot or elbow sticking out here and there. Logic would dictate the two people underneath were presumably your teachers, and that the squeaky noises were Pam, sleep-farting.

Just pretend they're fully clothed under that blanket so you don't have to think about the possibility that they aren't.

Near the desk is a TV with a VCR -- no, really, and where did they find a VCR, in the year 2007? There's even a movie playing. Is it for you guys? Is it for them? Do they even realize that today is Friday?

(Spoiler alert: They don't. It was Tuesday last time they checked.)

holyshitsnacks.livejournal.com

Happy Halloween! Your teachers hadn’t remembered to bring candy -- but really, wasn’t that a good thing? Considering Pam and Cheryl, they probably would have given you weird unlabeled pills and insisted they were SweetTarts.

Your teachers were, however, in Halloween costumes. Pam was wearing a blonde-tinted-down-to-pink wig, a black leotard with silver stars on it, and black fishnet stockings. Okay, so she was cold. Some costumes were worth freezing for, okay?

You know who wasn't cold? Cheryl. Mostly because she didn't have a costume so much as a warm, fleecy dressing gown.

She'd wanted to just come to class naked, but something something Pam, something something flu. She was mostly just glad to have pockets big enough for a flask.

( Halloween and Faking An Expense Report )

notmysupervisor.livejournal.com

"Ugh, no, seriously, why are you here?"

Granted, Cheryl usually greeted the class that way, yes, but today she meant it for another reason.

"There is a fucking thingie you should all be at." She waved vaguely toward town. "Like, a wholesome fall thingie, right? And Pam's hungover, and I want to be hungover so...."

She sighed, pressing her fingers over the bridge of her nose.

"Sometimes, when you're a spy," she said, perking up a little, "you have to infiltrate a crowd and blend in. What a perfect day to do that, right? So go try and eavesdrop on people at the thing -- and at the dance tomorrow -- and then report back on what you hear next week, and how infiltrating the crowd went. Bonus points if you wear a shade of black and tell us about it, too."

She actually made little shooing motions. "No, seriously, go. You're already all kind of unbearably lame for even showing up when that shit's going on outside today."

notmysupervisor.livejournal.com

When students filtered in today, they'd find Cheryl and Pam both rooting through the desk at the front of the room.

"Goddammit, I know I stuck them in a drawer in here," came one especially shrill voice, as Cheryl dug her hand deeper into the desk. "How long before gummy bears go bad, anyway? Do they go bad? I don't care."

“It’s not the gummy bears you have to worry about, dipshit,” Pam sighed. “Considering the amount of acid you dipped them innnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn --”

And that was where Pam froze, as she happened to glance up and spot the most awful, horrifying sight of all: students.

“Cheryl,” she hissed, under her breath. “Cheryl. They’re here.”

( guess who's baaaaack )

holyshitsnacks.livejournal.com

Today, Cheryl was actually lying on the desk at the front of the room, her eyes shut with an ice pack over them. That would probably explain why she hadn't noticed that no one was there until she started talking.

( Hungover Teachers and an Empty Classroom )

Hey, everyone. Guess who didn’t realize it was Fall Break?

holyshitsnacks.livejournal.com

Students today would be -- relieved? disappointed? mildly amused? -- to note that the well-dressed James Bund wannabe was no longer in front of class with the other two. But unfortunately for them -- or fortunately, if they took this class for the train wreck factor -- Pam and Cheryl were there like always.

( Stake-outs! )

holyshitsnacks.livejournal.com

Class today had three teachers standing up in the front of the room. Astonishingly, this did not mean that class was going to be any more coherent, logical, or, well, sober than its usual drug-and-alcohol induced insanity. But at least one of the three teachers was a real honest-to-goodness motherfucking spy.

(That would be the one wearing the badass suit, in case you were wondering. But you weren’t.)

( Sterling Archer In the House )

(AWWW YEAH. Class today has special guest star

sarcasm_duh who needs to app Archer, like, yesterday. Just FYI this one is even more offensive than usual, because seriously, of course it is.)

notmysupervisor.livejournal.com

Class today was not in the Danger Shop. Class was in a classroom that had sort of been set up to look like a bar. “Sort of” because Pam and Cheryl were the grand high queens of half-assing, you guys. So … like a bar, but like the person setting up the bar got bored halfway into it and decided to start drinking instead.

Oh, right. Pam and Cheryl were both piss-ass drunk.

“Wellllcome to class,” Pam managed, from behind her thermos of Green Russian. “Bein’ a spy is super-hard, y’guys. You’ve gotta know how to sex people and get information an’ you gotta drink a lot.”

Hypothetically speaking, of course.

"'Cause your job?" Cheryl slurred, waving a martini glass at them. "Is like, sooooooo hard, or whatever, so you're gonna always wanna get drunk. But!" She waved a finger. "You're gonna want to get drunk in a sophisticated way. 'Cause you're a spyyyyy."

This class was going to betray a lot of the envy Cheryl had towards the field agents, yes.

“You can’ just … can’ just …” Hang on. Pam was getting lost in thought. Maybe another swig would help her remember? Mmm, Green Russians. “Oh! Right. You can’ just … walk into a bar an’ order anything. Like a light beer? As a spy? You’re gonna look like such a freakin’ tool. Jimmy Bund never ordered a light beer. ‘Cause he was a spy and spies don’t drink light beer.”

QED, guys.

"And unless you've got a UTI, no vodka cranberries!" Cheryl insisted. "Don't be a fucking lightweight, guys. You're a spy. You gotta drink like a man. Or a heavily-armed lady. With boobs. Or not with boobs."

She was being helpfully specific there.

"Anywayses, you should get a signature drink. Something sexy, with a fun name. Pam's got one!" Cheryl actually pointed helpfully to Pam, as though the kids didn't know who that was.

“Green Russian!!” Pam crowed triumphantly. “S’absinthe and milk. It packs a punch like a mule. And it looks like antifreeze so it freaks people out.”

Win/win.

“Carol, what’s your -- is sniffing glue a sign-- signytoor drink?” Pam asked. “That’s not really a drink so it shouldn’t count.”

"I ground up ecstasy tablets and dropped 'em in Mountain Dew-flavored vodka," Cheryl said happily. "I call it the Thunder Tunt."

Only because it sounded super-dirty, yep.

"But you guys aren't that creative so you don't have to make your own right away. You can just practice mixing existing drinks, first. Oh! Oh." She pointed an accusing finger at the class. "Don't any of you try to do any of that 'shaken-not-stirred' shit. Make your drinks how they're supposed to be made. Don't beat up your booze unless you know what you're d-doin'."

The more you know, kids.

holyshitsnacks.livejournal.com

Today, class was not meeting in the Danger Shop. Class was meeting in a regular, normal classroom, and only the slightly saner half of the teaching staff even showed up.

"Cheryl's in the preserve," Pam announced, looking fairly grumpy about it. "She got, like, really high, like I mean really high, even for her?, and then she decided at like one AM that she was a tree, and she stripped naked and ran out into the preserve and is screaming something about her leaves peeling off."

( MOVIE DAY. IT IS AN EPIDEMIC )

notmysupervisor.livejournal.com

On the classroom door this week, students would find a hastily scrawled note informing them to "go to that weird trippy mind-fuck place." Hopefully they could translate that successfully into the Danger Shop, because that's where Pam and Cheryl were.

One of them had apparently decided to dress up in costume this week -- unless Pam had secretly taken religious orders and not told any of you -- which, what religious group would take Pam, anyway? -- while the other ... was wearing exactly what she wore all the time.

"Numbnuts, I told you to wear black," Pam snapped.

Please note that the two of them lived together, and had walked to class together this morning, and that Pam was just now deciding to bring this up. Or possibly just now noticing.

( Because a nun's habit totally counts as 'wearing black,' anyway )

notmysupervisor.livejournal.com

Why did Pam and Cheryl keep signing up to teach classes? At least with Pam, it was so she could get paid. Look, teachers might not make much here, but it wasn’t like ISIS was handing out the big money, either.

The better question was, why did Fandom keep hiring on Pam and Cheryl to teach? It wasn’t like their students were learning anything, besides “how not to act in front of students” or “how to be a complete fucking crazy person.”

( Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy? )

[lots of swearing and drug references, guys! maybe don't read this one at work!]

dojima-hime.livejournal.com

"Ohaiyo!" Dojima hollered as the students assembled. "Hopefully Reno didn't traumatize you too much last week, ne? Don't worry, he's odd, but he's not contagious. Usually."

"Unless there's tequila involved, and really, you don't need to know that story."

"Thing of it is, those of us who do some of the dirtier work, we're often hired because we blend well or because we're memorable in ways that people don't associate with 'danger, danger Will Robinson.' Because we can be friendly and easy-going, and half the work of intelligence is getting people to trust you. The other half is generally shooting them or blowing something up. The point being, forget the movies. Spies did not have hearts of gold, and the vast majority of us do not have a problem resorting to violent means if you don't leave us any other avenue."

"What I'm trying to say is that it's not glamorous. It's hard. You get no sleep, you will not see your loved ones, and sometimes you will disappear off the radar with no warning for weeks at a time, making your boyfriend nuts and leaving him to feed your cat. Your superiors want the impossible, your minions fuck things up every chance they get, no one can be trusted, and even when chasing data sometimes you have to shoot. I've killed in the course of my tenure at SOLOMON, I've ordered other people to take the shot, and I don't regret a single bullet."

"So you have two options today." Dojima waved a hand, and the Danger Shop changed to the gun range, complete with Triela-chan's original rules poster. "You can either do basic firearms safety and work on your shot, and/or you can talk about your preconceptions of intelligence gathering, and ask me any other questions you may have."

"Have at it."

Current Mood: sad

raspberryturk

When the students filed into the classroom today, they'd probably notice that their teacher was not the young blonde Japanese woman that normally taught them. In fact, their teacher was a tall, lanky redhead who looked like he could be some kind of Heinz 57 American number, with his hair pulled back in a rat-tail, red tattoos under his violently blue eyes, and a classy suit that was worn in a way that would make any fashion designer break down and weep.

( Yo, Rookies! )

[And OCD is up! Operation: Redhead Takeover is a go!]

dojima-hime.livejournal.com

"There's one question you all need to know the answer to before you go into the field," Dojima said after all the students had arrived. "'How far are you willing to go to maintain your cover?' After that, you need to decide what's more important, your cover and your mission, or doing what's right."

"So today, since you're all probably traumatized, I brought crayons and paper. Screw it, let's color."

archparakeet.livejournal.com

"So in war, the way is to avoid what is strong and strike at what is weak." Warren's hands were in fists at his side as he paced in front of his class, wings draped behind him like a cloak so that metallic feathers dragged along the floor. "Sun Tzu, The Art of War. If you haven't got a copy, I strongly urge you to borrow it from the library. Most of our lessons this summer have been taken from the pages of his book, and I have little doubt that I'll be referring to it again in the future."

He paced a little more, and then stopped, turned to his students, and gave a smile that was practically predatory, calm though it was.

( Every enemy has a weak point. )

[Open!]

dojima-hime.livejournal.com

"Some people have moral or religious problems with the concept of spying," Dojima began once people were seated. "I am not one of them."

"But interestingly enough, America's own CIA published a "Bible Lesson on Spying" back in 1978. Why do you think they did this? What effect was it meant to have? Did it succeed? Why or why not? And do you think something like this would be useful for you?"

"I want you to pick a partner and express your views - as you AND as your cover identity you created last week, and see if they can guess which one is which."

Current Mood: amused

dojima-hime.livejournal.com

"Today, we're going to start with the very basics," Dojima said briskly. "Your cover identity."

"I was lucky in that I got to keep my name and my face, but there were many things I had to bury under my cover. If you'd known me as a student, you never would have realized that my favorite music genre is opera. There was not a single opera cd, mp3, program, nothing in my room at Fandom or in Tokyo. I never so much as hummed a stanza from Carmen under my breath while studying. I'm actually quite good at science, but I made sure to steer clear of those classes and complain about anything harder than Tink and Barney's class. And despite all the invasions and dangerous situations I found myself in, I never once broke cover and revealed my martial arts abilities."

"You live your cover identity, you breath it. It is you, or you end up dead in a gutter somewhere." Dojima wasn't trying to scare her students, but she needed them to understand how serious this was. "So today, I want you to craft an identity of your own. Something you think you could live as if you needed to swap names and drop off the grid for a bit."

saveyoulater.livejournal.com

Today, the Danger Shop was arranged to look like an elegant formal ballroom, with heavy chandeliers, a string quartet playing jazz tunes in the corner, and a buffet of light finger foods. Sarah, dressed to kill in a red gown slit almost up to there, smiled as she greeted the class.

"Welcome to your final," she said. "There are two key things somewhere in this room. One is a suspect called La Ciudad. All you know about this individual is that he or she is a Colombian national suspected of smuggling drugs and weapons, especially weapons. The other is La Ciudad's information drop -- the papers he or she is passing along to a contact. Your job is to recover one or both of these things by the end of class without making anyone suspicious. The hotel has its own security, and La Ciudad does not travel alone. Things could get dangerous."

"You'll be working in teams of three. On each team, one person is the analyst. This person knows how to interpret the papers but must be protected. The other two are both agents. It helps if one of you is the muscle and bodyguard and the other does the investigating, but you can divide that up however you want to."

She pointed off to two side chambers, labeled GENTLEMEN and LADIES. "Right now, you have ten minutes to find your team and then get into appropriate cover to circulate at this event, including any weapons or supplies you wish to carry. You'll each be wearing a mike so you can talk to each other or to me."

She waited a second longer, then: "Go."

( RNG'd Team assignments behind here. )

[OOC: Up early because tomorrow a.m. looks busy. ~~Wait for~~ OCD is all done!]

Current Mood: creative

saveyoulater.livejournal.com

Class met in the Danger Shop today. It was set up as a shooting range, with a stocked weapons locker and safety equipment at one side and targets at the end of the room.

"Hi," Sarah said, completely at ease. "Today, we're taking about weapons. Spy weapons aren't going to be too different from any other kind of weapon, except that it's more important you conceal them easily on your person. If I was working, I would probably have a small revolver strapped at my ankle and a knife in the small of my back."

She was working. She had that and more. Her hair sticks? Not just decorative.

"Basically, if we're talking weapons, we're talking knives and guns. The main kinds of guns we'll be working with today are sniper rifles, for long-distance work, and pistols for short distances." She explained briefly how the guns were loaded and how they fired.

"I expect you to follow all NRA gun safety rules listed on your handout. The only field rule I'd add is, don't shoot if you aren't ready to kill. If you're shooting to wound or to scare someone off, you probably shouldn't have your gun out to start with. Firing a gun makes a big scene and, as a spy, that's the last thing you want. Right now, we're in the Danger Shop and it's programmed so that if you aim your gun at anybody, the gun turns into a badger."

Sarah frowned at that part of her notes, clearly thinking about it for the first time. "... I don't know why a badger. Still. Don't aim your gun at people."

Shaking that off, she continued, "The other weapon we're talking about is throwing knives. I'm a big fan of knives; they're small, they're light, they're easy to conceal, and if you're good you can use them in a crowd without anyone noticing." She demonstrated her throwing technique, easily making a few bullseyes from the end of her lane. "And of course there are safety rules with those, too. The knives have the same Danger Shop protection as the guns -- if you do anything stupid with a knife, it turns into a badger."

"I think that is everything. You have the rest of the class period to practice with the weapons. I'm here to give pointers. If anyone's uncomfortable with this session -- or drunk, high or otherwise impaired -- come see me and we'll work out an alternate assignment."

Current Mood: comfortable

saveyoulater.livejournal.com

Someone who was observant well beyond the bounds of the human norm might notice that Sarah had a few new-ish-to-the-classroom accessories today -- chunky diamond stud earrings in place of her usual hoops, and a watch that looked almost mannish on her delicate wrist. But for the most part, she looked entirely normal in her blouse and jeans, if on the cheerful end of the spectrum for her.

"Good afternoon," she said, once the students seemed to be there. "Today we're talking about tools that spies use for surveillance and communication -- listening bugs, but also things agents can wear on their person to keep in touch with base without using normal phone systems."

She held up a disk about the size of a thick quarter. "This is a standard modern bug. It's designed so it adheres to the bottom of any piece of furniture you want; it can also be mounted inside a phone to record conversations. It'll transmit via radio frequencies." She went on to give the technical specs of the bug, including the range of the microphone, how long it would last and the quality of the sounds it transmitted.

"If you're an agent and you go out in the field, you'll probably be miked. Right now, I'm wearing send/receive transmitters in my earrings and my watch, and I've seen them in shoes, bracelets, bras, pendants ... anything that a person can wear without arousing suspicion. Some watches even have full Internet access built in for quickly looking up information."

"For your activity today, I've brought a few toys. None of this is the highest-tech stuff on the market; these are products made for and marketed to civilians. But they should still keep you busy for the rest of the class period. I'm around if you have questions."

[OOC: Please assume the toys on the tables have brochures near them explaining what they are and how they work. Thanks!]

Current Mood: indescribable

saveyoulater.livejournal.com

Sarah started the class by handing slips of paper to Katina, Agnes, Alice, Claire, Edmund, Effy, Griff, Karla and Liir ~~assuming they were all here~~. "If you get a piece of paper," she announced, "don't read it out loud, don't show it to your neighbor, don't drop it on the floor. Consider it classified information."

The papers said THERE IS CANDY ON THE TOP SHELF OF THE CABINET IN THE BACK OF THE ROOM, so it might not have seemed all that cloak-and-dagger, but Sarah was a spy.

"Anyhow, today we're talking about persuasion and interrogation. It's another basic piece of spywork -- somebody knows something you don't know, and you want to find out what it is. The ideal is to get them to tell you without realizing what they gave away, but that's not always possible. I'm passing out a handout listing off some common interrogation techniques, ranging from direct questioning -- which actually works most of the time -- to 'good cop-bad cop', playing on the other person's emotions, repeating the question until the other person gets bored enough to answer, or lying to convince the subject you already know everything anyhow. I'd recommend you take a few minutes to read through the handout before we move on." She did that, reviewing it herself while the class read.

"As you may have gathered from the start of class, half of you know something now. You're interviewees. The other half don't. You're interrogators. Interrogators, you can use any tactic up to the threat of physical force to find out what was written on the paper. No actual physical force, and if your interviewee seriously tells you to back off, back off. Work in interrogator-interviewee pairs or in small groups. And if you find out what's on the paper, you may put the information to use at the end of class. That goes double for any interviewee who makes it through without cracking."

Current Mood: peaceful

saltandammo.livejournal.com

When the class filed in, they didn't find Sarah waiting for them, but a rather familiar looking priest.

"Hello class," he greeted them. "Your teacher couldn't be here today so she asked me to fill in for her. I'm Father Winchester.

"Our sermon today is on disguises. Yeah, sure you can get a lot of information by the breaking and entering route, but sometimes you're going to have to interact with people. Sometimes you're going to want to blend in, get them to not notice you. Other times you're going to want to get them to trust you, tell you things they might not ordinarily do so. Disguises are an important tool in both situations.

"Say you need to check some medical records -- you're going to have a lot better chance of getting to them without incident if you dress like you belong, some scrubs or a white coat and suddenly youre an orderly or a doctor and no one's looking at you twice or questioning why you're roaming the halls or going into that office.

"Or say someone's died and you think there's something hinky about it. The family's in mourning, they're not going to want to talk to just any Joe Blow about the details." Dean put on his most pious expression. "But a priest paying a courtesy call to pay his respects and offer his condolences, now that's someone they'll feel comfortable talking about the gory details to."

Dean grinned at them. "Every situation is going to be different, but with a little ingenuity you can come up with a disguise to fit. Need to get into a place and have some uninterrupted time there? How about posing as exterminators that are spraying for something that requires an empty house? All you need is to think outside the box."

He gestured to a set of racks full of all sorts of clothing and boxes of accessories. "Over there is a broad selection of things you can use to create a disguise. What I want you to do is to not only put together a disguise but come up with a senario where that particular disguise would be useful. Extra points given for originality."

[ooc: ~~wait for~~ ocd's up! Have at it]

saveyoulater.livejournal.com

Sarah was nowhere near as nervous as she'd been the week before as she clacked into the activities hall and waited for class to begin. In front of each seat, there was a set of lockpicking tools, and a TV screen was set up in the front of the room.

"Good morning," she greeted the class. "Today we're learning one of the most basic spy tools -- getting in without an invitation. Usually, it's easier to get in with persuasion, but sometimes you have to go for brute force and pick a lock. It's not hard once you know what you're doing; plenty of people have put up videos on YouTube explaining the technique. Let's watch one. That actually shows how to do it with a bobby pin."

She played the video, occasionally pausing it for comments on the girl's techniques, then quickly demonstrated with some of the locks on her desk and a set like the students'.

"You also want to be able to crack a safe," Sarah said, passing out another set of handouts. "Basically, that's about good hearing and patience. You're spinning the dial until you hear the pins fall, then spinning it again until the pins fall again. It takes time, but you can get good if you understand the knack behind it." She explained more about that, too.

"Our next topic is electronic lockpicking -- hacking," Sarah continued. "I can't teach you how to hack in one class; some of you might be better than me anyhow. But one thing to remember is that people are predictable when they're setting passwords. The most common passwords are things like 123456, qwerty, family member's names, pet's names, sports teams, and the words admin, letmein or password."

"If you need to know one password, that might not help unless you know your target well. But if you just need to get into an employee terminal to access a main server, there's a good chance that the guy with the Red Sox pennant in his cubicle has redsox123 as his password. I'm passing out a list of the 500 worst passwords; if you're using one of them, you should probably change it as soon as you get back to your computer."

"For our activity today," she added, "we're going to practice both kinds of lockpicking. There's a safe set up if you want to work in pairs to try to get into that, and a bunch of padlocks and other kinds of mechanical locks as well. There's also a group of password-protected computer terminals -- if you get in, you'll be able to play a game." She smiled. "I set the password."

"Pass in your homework before you leave the workshop," she added, clearly as an afterthought.

Current Mood: busy

saveyoulater.livejournal.com

If Sarah didn't seem nervous as she waited for the class to assemble, that was only because she'd spent the last decade keeping cool on the outside no matter what went on underneath. Just teaching for the first time would be bad enough, but there was one student name on the roster that she had very much never expected to see here.

( Welcome to Spy Games... )

[OOC: First posted class of the semester! I will pick up tags in the a.m.]

tricksy-spy.livejournal.com

"One last class," Aly said with a grin at the students. "Which, I suppose, is supposed to be a final exam, but tests are silly. The only real way to find out if you learned anything is to throw you out there and see what happens." She winked. "But, you know, that's frowned upon."

"So you've all lucked out in the lack of the test - I trust you've taken from the class what you could and I've taught you enough that if you needed to, you'd be capable of keeping yourself alive for long enough."

"Instead of a test, I want you all to answer two questions for me - and you can ask me one - something you were hoping we'd get to and never did. So, question one: in last week's scenario - would you actually poison the girl on the dais? And question two: what are the benefits of spying? What are the ethical considerations that have arisen over the past fifteen weeks?"

"After that, you're all free to go. I've enjoyed having all of you in class this semester. Those who are leaving the school, best of luck to you as you move on, and I hope to see those who stay either in a future class or stopping by my office when you get a chance. It's been a pleasure, and if you ever need anything, I'll see what I can do."

tricksy-spy.livejournal.com

Once everyone had arrived in the Danger Shop, Aly started talking. The lecture today was on poisons and some of their common effects. It was one of the longer lectures, taking up not quite half of the class time.

Once she was done talking, Aly glanced at the class to make sure they were watching then hit the play button on the scenario and suddenly the hall was filled with people. Servants walked in and out carrying dishes of delicious looking food and carafes of wine while a loud and rich-looking group of people dined at the high table, toasting each other and commenting happily on the food - and the servants - as it was paraded by. It was, in short the same scenario as they'd used two weeks ago.

She hit the button again and everyone in the scenario disappeared except the girl on the dais. "If you haven't figured it out already," Aly said quietly. "We're coming at this from a different angle today. Today your orders are to take this girl out without drawing suspicion to you or your faction. Poison is underhanded - it's called 'the woman's weapon' in several countries because it's considered dishonourable - but it is used because it works." Aly glanced around the room, gauging reactions. "So today your task is to work either alone or with a partner to devise a strategy to take down the Queen on the dais. Remember all the precautions we talked about two weeks ago? Assume that the Queen has more than a few bodyguards watching out for her and for any attempts to hurt her and factor that into your calculations."

"Any questions?" she glanced around, answering all that came up. "Go to then. I'm around if you want to hash out ideas or discuss."

[OOC: Please wait for the OCD]

tricksy-spy.livejournal.com

Aly was slightly tan and looking happy when the class arrived. "Hope you all had a good weekend," she said, glancing around. "Good job, all of you last week on the scenario. I'm impressed with some of your answers. Some of you were a bit more byzantine than others, and always remember that less things can go wrong with simplicity."

"So today we're going to be very simple. So simple that we're blowing things up - with improvised devices. It doesn't seem particularly sneaky at the outset, no, but trust me a well-placed explosion can solve many a problem. Some of you have worked with these materials before in my classes - don't worry about that, have fun and help those who haven't."

"The two explosives we're going to work with today are two improvised explosives. You don't always have access to military material and you definitely don't always need it. One of the most common explosives in this word - and also one of the easiest to make is anfo - fertiliser and fuel oil. It sounds simple, but it's an immensely powerful explosive. A ton or so in a the right place could blow up a cargo ship and the harbor it's sitting in - if you can get it into the cargo ship, of course. The other is less an explosive than a weapon. Molotov cocktails - half gasoline, and half motor oil - you've probably already heard of them if you're from this world. They're easy to make and can do a lot of damage especially against gasoline engines or wood structures."

"What the plan is today is to spend some time discussing tactics with these weapons. When would one of these particular types of explosive devices be useful? Then make the anfo into a bomb, put together a Molotov cocktail, and blow some stuff up."

[OOC: ~~Please wait for the~~ OCD is up. All links in this one go to Wiki so no worries about the Feds. More explanation in the OCD threads.

I'm sorry for the recycled class! I'm starting a new job this week (*flails*) and I totally blanked on the need for a class because I kinda suck. I don't have internets at work yet *CRIES* so Aly won't be around until 5ish EDT.]

tricksy-spy.livejournal.com

The class met in the Danger Shop which was changed up to look like a very formal banqueting hall complete with a high table lay with what looked like thousands of dishes and silverware.

Aly glanced at the class to make sure they were watching then hit the play button on the scenario and suddenly the hall was filled with people. Servants walked in and out carrying dishes of delicious looking food and carafes of wine while a loud and rich-looking group of people dined at the high table, toasting each other and commenting happily on the food - and the servants - as it was paraded by.

She paused the scenario, and everyone in it disappeared except a regal looking young woman at the high table. "This looks like a typical banquet, yes?" Aly asked, watching the class. "And it is. It's one of probably thousands of governmental or court banquets that happen every month in countries on just about every world. It's typical in one more way too. The vast majority of the food being passed is poisoned."

"The woman at the table is the one you've contracted to protect," she continued after pausing if there were any reaction. "And it's your job in this class to keep her safe, keep her from dying of poison tonight."

Aly met the eyes of each of her students, making sure they were following. "What I'd like each of you to do is to come up with a plan to do this - the subtler the better and present it to me so we can run the scenario and see what could happen."

"You are all free to ask as many questions as you like beforehand, and if you'd also present just a bit on your homework from last week - what you did with the spying gadgets you tried out." She grinned. "If any of you played with them while you were children, I definitely want to hear that too."

[OOC: OCD ~~coming~~ up, modding of scenario totally encouraged, all questions can be answered either IG or in the OOC thread]

tricksy-spy.livejournal.com

Class today was in a normal classroom, but the desks were all pushed together to allow for a mound of different gadgets to be piled on the resulting table.

Aly grinned at the students, gesturing them to file around the table. "Okay, guys, today we're talking about gadgets. Spy gadgets obviously. These are the ones that I've collected over the past few years, and they're the ones you get to work with today."

"The catch though is that I'm not going to tell you what you're working with," she said. "All the lethal capabilities of these have been disabled so don't worry about putting a poison dart through your neighbour's hand."

"Go ahead and work together if you like. Choose one or a few of the gadgets at hand and figure out what they are and how they'd be useful for. Then I want you to take one or two home over the week, and put it to use." Aly grinned though she was evidently serious. "No spying on girls in the shower though."

"Next week I want you to report back to me with how you used it, if it were useful, and what changes you'd make to the style or functionality to make it more useful to a spy."

[OOC: ~~Please wait for the~~ OCD is up]

tricksy-spy.livejournal.com

Having ~~handwavily~~ notified students that today's class was in the Danger Shop and to wear clothes that could get dirty, Aly hoped that everyone would find their way easily. When the students entered the room, they would see that it was set up with a series of obstacles and a ropes course. There was a 25 foot high climbing wall at one end of the room and ropes crisscrossed the ceiling in a variety of patterns. On the floor there was a mud pit, cable walk, and other ~~moddable~~ obstacles.

Aly stood at the edge of the obstacles and waited for everyone to arrive. "Okay everyone, this class is for a few reasons. Someone mentioned wanting to learn how to work with a partner last week, and, for most of us, it was a bit of a stressful week so let's play a bit instead." She grinned. "At least I think it's playing. Those of you who were in my class last spring have played with this before. Doesn't mean you can't do it again. The Danger Shop's safeties are on so you're not going to get hurt, but work together like that's not the case. I haven't split you up into teams - you can go ahead and choose two or three people to work with."

"Anytime you're spying, your life is in the hands of your partner, your contact, your handler, your lover. They screw up? And you're going to end up hurt or dead. Today, the stakes aren't nearly as high. So have some fun with it."

Aly grinned, gesturing for them to pair up.

[OOC: OCD threads ~~will be coming~~ is up! I'm going to link to a few different obstacles, then you can feel free to mod whichever others you like.]

tricksy-spy.livejournal.com

Aly was looking thoughtful as she studied her students. "We're more than halfway through this term," she said, once everyone was seated and quiet. "And we haven't had a midterm because - well, exams are incredibly stupid. So what I'd like for today is for everyone to tell me one thing they've learned related to spying this term - and it can be something that was taught specifically in this class, something you learned from a classmate or just an observation you've made over the year."

She pointed to a student at what seemed like random. "You first."

Once everyone had gone, she continued. "Now tell me one thing you were hoping to learn but haven't yet."

After everyone had answered, Aly grinned. "We'll see what we can do about those hopes in the remaining classes. For now, have a good week, and stay alert."

[OOC: ~~Please wait for~~ the OCD is up. Apologies for the late/lame class. I had an interview this morning and it went longer than I expected and I was all nervy beforehand. Because I'm a big dork.]

tricksy-spy.livejournal.com

Aly watched the students come in with a bit of a smile. It was good seeing them again, even the ones she'd seen in Mexico. Once everyone was settled, she turned to them - and was startled by a sudden swelling of background music.

"...you see, class," Aly looked a bit confused at the words as the music got louder.

( And what do you think happens under here? )

[OOC: ~~Please wait for the~~ OCD is up, feel free to have the spirit of music move you in class :D]

tricksy-spy.livejournal.com

Once the class was assembled, Aly pushed herself up off her seat on her desk. "Afternoon to all of you. Last week, we talked about disguises and their use. Next week is your spring break which means that all of you can run off to wherever you like, and all of us teachers will enjoy our break. Which means that this week, we have a lot to talk about." She grinned. "Yeah, that didn't follow at all, but let's pretend it did."

"Today, we're going to talk about language. Any good spy should speak at least a few languages that are used in her area of operations. And by at least a few, I mean as many as possible," Aly glanced over the class. "Even if you can't speak the language well enough to pass as a native - and don't overestimate your abilities, not everyone can - you need to speak well enough to recruit natives to spy for you and be able to communicate when you need to."

"I'm pretty sure most of you know more than one language," she said. "For many of you, English is definitely not the language you were born with. So. What I want everyone to do today is to pair up and communicate without using English. You can use sign, do charades, find another language in common, just no English." She grinned. "Why? Because you all should see what it's like if you don't bother to learn a language and try to spy."

"Until our next class, I want all of you to start learning another language. I don't care what it is, something that you find useful or interesting," Aly threw an amused glance at Willow ~~if she were there~~. "You can consider it homework. If you don't have an idea where to start? There's a language club this semester, and I believe one of the heads of it is in our class," she smiled at Inara ~~if she were there~~. "It meets Fridays in the library, check it out if you need some direction."

"Any questions? Then pair up an get to."

[OOC: ~~Waaaait for the~~ OCD is up! ~~please~~]

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