Fandom High School

"So you guys got off easy last week, and I expect all of you sent your essays to my email," Jaye greeted the class. She had not checked her email. She would certainly not read the essays.

"Well, this week you're getting a movie week, because it's weird for me to do a final after a few weeks of summer classes. But because the fun of Fandom is the schooling is year round, I'm giving you a classic back to school movie. Enjoy."

And as she hit play she added, "And hopefully you all learned how to manage your time or whatever."

"Today," Jaye said, "we're going to talk about one of the most important decisions a person can make: selecting which movie to watch in class."

No, she didn't have a class prepared today, why do you ask?

"We're going to have a discussion on what makes a good class movie, and then we're going to pick one, as a class."

Spoiler: you weren't gonna get to the movie.

"So last week didn't go the way I thought," Jaye admitted when class started. "I got your excuses about getting out of class, said you're get a ditch day, and I kind of figured no one would show up. That's on me. But it means we're going to work on excuses again.

"We're going to watch a boring educational film about puberty from the 60s," she said. "Your job is to give me a reason as to why you need to leave class suddenly. If it's believable, you get to leave early, hopefully before we get to what served as an old timey explanation of menstruation."

"Welcome back," Jaye greeted the class, in the normal classroom today. "We're starting off with a two-part class. Well, technically a three-part class. Something like that. We're starting off this week by talking about excuses. If you want to get out of something, you need a reason they can't say no to. If you've killed your grandma four times now, your bosses or teachers are gonna know. You want something believable, something they can't poke holes in without looking like an asshole. So you're going to get to come to me with your excuses on why you need to miss class. If I don't buy it, you have to try again.

"And then you're going to figure out what your perfect day off it and hand in an explanation. And then next week, if you don't totally fail at this, you'll get it in class."

She hadn't figured out how yet but that was beside the point.

So maybe there was a class today? But when everyone got to the Danger Shop, it'd become really obvious that their teacher was currently three, and drinking from a sippy cup with no supervision in sight.

"Hi! How old are you?" she asked.

Guess that was your discussion question, class.


[I'm so happy right now you don't even know.]

The class was back in the Danger Shop, where it was a nice bright, sunny day, outside a house where Tino was currently trying to clear some gutters.

Jaye stood a good distance away with the class, where she kept her voice low. "Hey, so, Tino's hard at work, and he thinks you're all here to help. You are not. You are here to supervise. So for this class period, you're going to 'help' him as best you can. If you need any tips, let me know, I'm more than happy to add my expertise."

She turned back to the house and called, "Hey, Tino, when you're done with that, can you fix that one window? It's kinda janky. Thanks!"

And back to the class. "Have fun."

Today the Danger Shop was made up to look like a different kind of shop. Like, say, a gift shop selling a ton of cheesy Niagara Falls merchandise.

She was going to have to teach this lesson sooner or later, might as well make it sooner so she didn't have to think about it later.

"You made it back for a second week. Congratulations," Jaye greeted them. "I'm putting you to work."

She went one by one, handing out vests with the students' names stitched onto them. Was she maybe still a little sore about getting passed over for the promotion at a job she didn't even like? Possibly! In fact, probably!

"You're going to be working here today. The problem is it's a Monday morning and you know how many people you're going to get in here? Nada. And honestly you don't want to deal with them anyway. But you still have to figure out how to look busy because as much as this sucks, food costs money. So you'll create busy work. You can shuffle certain things around the shelves. You can look for something in back. You can dust. Whatever means you're working, but not actually working. I'll be playing the part of your supervisor, and you should look busy anytime I come around. Let's see what you come up with."

Definitely still sore about the promotion.