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If you'd figured out that Cara's class was in the Onsen today, congratulations, you'd learnt at least one thing!

"Unlike what certain people might have said." Certain people who'd fake-poisoned you, remember. "I do know how to relax," Cara told them from the tub. Three guesses how and this was the only one she'd share with students.

"Well, do I need to spell it out to you?"

wrongkindofsith

You only had Cara this week, kids, which boded well for none of you ended up poisoned, but not so much for her mood. Though she seemed remarkably chipper.

"Well, it seems none of you got eaten," Cara said in a tone that suggested she'd had her doubts. "I had my doubts. But since the island likes to become even more ridiculous over time, we might as well start preparing for the next time now."

She pressed a control and a whole new sharkicane started up, only now there were bears riding the sharks. Fire breathing bears.

Mean, Cara.

harpy_daughter

Instead of Cara waiting for the class today, it was Surreal.

But since this crop of students most likely didn't know her, it wasn't Surreal in the leathers and knives that had defined her years at Fandom. This was Surreal, the most expensive courtesan of her Realm, in silks with gems and perfumes and a smile on her lips as she sat at the head of a table filled with fruit, cheese, bread, jam, smoked sausages, and cool summer sweet tea.

"Cara is on a forced rest," she said, clearly amused. "She'll try and kill me for telling you that, but the fact of it all is that sometimes, sugar, everyone needs a break. Self-care is your best defense against exhaustion; mental and physical."

"That includes taking the time to eat right, and since I'm supposed to be on vacation, I'm feeling lazy. We're just going to enjoy lunch, and if Cara doesn't like my teaching, she shouldn't leave me in charge." Surreal waved a hand, indicating that they should dig in, while she poured herself some tea.

She let them socialize and eat for about a half-hour, before she held up a hand to get their attention.

"Oh. And since every one of you who drank the tea or ate the cheese or jam is now 'poisoned,' your second lesson for today is never eat or drink anything you didn't make yourself." Surreal smiled with sharp teeth. "Especially from a stranger, sugars."

"Don't fret, it's just an herb that'll turn your lips blue shortly and will wash off just fine. There's a handout about what to do about poisonings in this world at the door. Basically? If you feel weird, call your healer or doctor or whatever you use, and get it out or off you as soon as possible. I also wrote up a list of things that work on my world if you don't have a healer handy, but it's what works for my world, kittens, and might not apply to you. When in doubt, call your healer."

"Now go ahead and take whatever you want back to your rooms," she said, making the 'poison' items vanish with a wave of her hand. "You want some cheese or jam to prank your roommate...come see me."

wrongkindofsith

"Apparently some people think this class has too much emphasis on bears." And by some people, Cara meant Cassandra. Cassandra didn't like bears or joy. "Instead we're going to focus on fortifications, because I've been on this island long enough to know something's going to happen before the end of summer, and you can't always hide in the dorms."

"So, today you get to improvise defensive structures from whatever you can get your hands on, then see how they stand up."

Of course, the only building materials hand in the Danger Shop were pillows, but Cara just hoped she wouldn't have to come out and say it.

wrongkindofsith

Once more into the ~~breach~~ Danger Shop, kids.

"So you're passably good at fighting bunnies." You didn't need to sound so amused about that, Cara. "But you clearly need to practice your sword and shield work."

She held up a shield. "To recap, you block with this." Then a sword. "And stab with this. If you have any questions, this is Cassandra's area of expertise."

Though they might want to ask them quickly since there was the unmistakable sound of bears approaching.

wrongkindofsith

There were no dragons in the Danger Shop today. Woe. They looked to be on the steps of the School, which probably didn't bode well for why they weren't just doing this out there.

"So, teamwork," Cara said, once they'd arrived. "If you've got it, you're vastly more effective, if you don't you're a lot more likely to get killed. So you're going to pair up, and recreate one of the many island invasions."

Spoiler, it was the monster bunnies.

wrongkindofsith

Cara had her class meet her in the Danger Shop, which was never a good sign. They seemed to be at the bottom of a rocky gorge

"Despite the fact I already know who most of you are, we have to do introductions," she said, handing each student a long stick. "So I decided to make things interesting." Which wasn't at all ominous.

"Instead of the just standing there and telling me your name and all that, you can tell me while doing something fun." A roar echoed throughout the gorge. "Namely fighting a dragon."

With long sticks. That weren't even pointy.

wrongkindofsith

Cara had told her students to met her at the Onsen, though anyone who'd had a class with her before should have been expecting this.

"Being aware of your surroundings is good," she said, already in the tub. "But being too tense either in your head or your body is just another way of getting yourself killed, so our last lesson is about relaxing." Relaxing in nice, warm, public baths.

Sadly Cara was unaware of the llama that had just started munching on the shubbery outside the onsen.

wrongkindofsith

Your teacher was actually here today, yay!

Cara also had the Danger Shop set to the movie theatre sim. Also, yay?

"By all accounts Cassandra did am excellent job last week." At least according to the squirrels she'd bribed for details later. "So much so that you can relax this week and watch a movie instead." And not just because she wanted to watch it again. That would be silly.

seeks_truth

Today, the class would find themselves in the Danger Shop facing no one but Cassandra. Cass had her arms crossed and one eyebrow raised. "Your teacher cannot be here today due to... reasons, she said."

Rather it had been something about a film and a woman punching things that Cassandra had barely understood, but whatever.

"You joined this class to hit things," she said, "So today, we will hit things. Since there is no better teacher but experience, I have decided to let you have some. Find a creature. Hit it. Kill it, if you must. But incapacitate it somehow."

A pause.

"That is all. Do not look at me, I am not in the business of inspiring speeches."

wrongkindofsith

Cara had told her class to meet her out on the front lawn, and to wear old clothing. Judging by the buckets filled with water balloons that dotted the lawn, there was a very good reason for that. As each student arrived she divided them into two groups.

"You weren't terrible last week," she said. "This week it's teamwork. Get the others wet, keep your side dry. Simple enough."

wrongkindofsith

Unlike the last two weeks, Cara had told her class to met her in the Danger Shop rather than the salle, which probably should have been their first warning. She also didn't throw dye balloons at any latecomers, largely by virtue of not being there, which should have been their second warning.

The Danger Shop itself was set to look like a deserted village square, with quite an assortment everyday objects that could potentially be turned into improvised weapons laying about the place, which...look, honestly, if at least some of them hadn't figured out this was a set up by now, Cara was going to be highly disappointed.

And then the ninjas attacked.

wrongkindofsith

Much like last week, Cara's class were meeting in the salle, and any latecomers had dye balloons lobbed at them, unlike last week, there were training dummies set up in a row, as well as protective hand-gear.

"You weren't terrible," she began. "But if you only learn one thing from this class it'll be to throw an acceptable punch, so today we're going with useful but boring and drilling.

"I could come up with a whole speech about discipline, hard-work, and and muscle memory, but it comes down to this, if you freeze, you're dead, if you overthink, you're dead, if you're sloppy you're dead, actually I could go on all day, but those are the main three it's supposed to help with.

"It goes like this, I'll call out a number and you'll throw the corresponding punch, like this." Counting off, Cara demonstrated a series of four blows to the dummy's body, including a vicious knee to the its groin (sorry, not sorry, Jason) on four. "And since we're stating simple, I won't even break sequence until I'm sure you're ready for it." Pretty generous of her if you wanted her opinion.

"In any case, today I want you to go for technique, not speed or power, those'll come once you've got the first, and if anyone wanted a more exciting class today, just remember, I could have brought out the inflatable clowns." Be glad she hadn't, they were really creepy.

wrongkindofsith

Rather than the Danger Shop, Cara had her class meet her in the Salle where she was already waiting for them. Anyone who had the misfortune of arriving late late would also have found a water balloon filled with food dye lobbed straight at their head.

"Since I only recognise one of you, I'm Cara, that's Cassandra, listen to her when I'm not around." Hey, it was more of a greeting than a class usually got. "And I don't care if you signed up for this class or not because you're going to need it before this place is done with you."

She sighed. "Still, it's an easy class this week, since you've hopefully noticed by now this week is all about the introductions, So name, class, if you can fight," Cara said, then smiled with far too many teeth. "Then you get get to try and punch me."

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Entries tagged with defence

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