Fandom High School

"Hopefully ya'll are done being sacks of emo about fake future kids and are ready to get back to work. Today, you'll be working with a very demanding client."

Who was currently scribbling on some probably important papers on Deadpool's desk. Oh, they could just get some new important papers from IKEA.

"Jan here needs an outfit that says 'Look at me, I'm much more awesome than a Skywalker' and you people are gonna design it for her. Got it?"

"An' giraffes!"

Deadpool nodded solemnly. "You heard the woman, and giraffes. More awesome than Skywalkers and giraffes combined."

Instead of class today, there was just a note on the door. A note made of fail. Fail.

What the hell are you guys doing here? Get your asses back to the dorms where there's no crazy making fog. This isn't a Stephen King novel. No one gets to wander about and deal with monsters and unholy abominations upon nature.

Well, maybe Warren does, but that's different! He's all X-Meny and... How the hell did I manage to ramble in a note?

So, anyway. Get home, losers.


[[...Fail, me. Fail.]]

It was Thursday, that meant it was class day. Isn't everyone just so excited? C'mon! Show your teenage angst filled excitement!

No? Fine.

Screw y'all.

"The weekend that we never speak of is over and done with and it's back to business as usual, kiddos. But not without subjected you to horrible trauma by making you all relive those painful memories for a photoshoot," Deadpool said brightly. "Now, there's a box of... okay, they might be t-shirts I got at the dollar store instead of fabulous costumes. I'm cheap. Deal. So play about in Imagination Land where you can sparkle like a vampire and shit."

So loving, Deadpool.

"Now get to work."

"Next week is spring break and we all know what that means, right boys and girls and maybe something in betweens I'm not judging except for when I am because it's fun," Deadpool said, fiddling with a DVD case in his hands.

There was even that small, awkward pause that normally only appeared on Dora the Explorer for kids to get their brains together and stop bouncing around to bippy music or whatever they did these days.

"That's riiiiight! It means Deadpool forgot to write you a midterm! Yaaaaay!" Oh, the fake glee was fun. "So, instead, you all get punished with this classic Lindsay Lohan and Tyra Banks movie about what happens when writers take acid. Won't that be fun?"

A beat.

"Yeah, I don't care. Gleam something educational from it and you get a gold star."

So, Deadpool had plans for class today. Plans that involved trying to make them do a photoshoot underwater, but not looking stressed or like they're drowning. And could they just stop with all the bubbles?

Jeeze.

But, instead, everyone was in for a surprise, it seemed as someone wandered into the classroom to get people to make it work before Deadpool could even start to mock anyone.

"Well hello, designers! I must say I am pleased as punch to be able to join Heidi today to mentor a new breed of fashion designers. Today we're going to see what you can do with recyclable materials. Namely all this hoodie sweatshirts that I found abandoned in the room I woke up in this morning. Now you have one hour and zero dollars to make this fashion work for none other than fashion icon Katy Perry! Isn't that exciting?"

Deadpool had to stare for a moment, before just going along with it. Because it was awesome. "You heard the man, people. This isn't like my homeland in Germany where people can't even afford such nice sweatshirts." Yeah, just go with it. "And, for the love of god, I seem to be preggers again. Damn you, Seal. Damn you!"

"Well come on designers! Time's a wasting! Let's make it work!"

After handwavily informing the kids to meet up in the danger shop, Deadpool was positively giddy about the oh so awesome fashion show that would be happening. There was even a poorly constructed runway set up for it!

"Now, I don't want you kids to feel nervous or anything about having to parade about on stage in something you created where anyone could just walk in a mock. It's not that big a deal. It's just one day that could get you labeled 'that chick slash guy who face planted on the stage because their outfit was crap'. So... you know."

Deadpool shrugged.

"Get over it. And I didn't wanna make you guys do this alone, so I got you someone to walk with. Noooow, it's possible these poorly photoshopped lil' fellas are part of the shop and won't actually bite you. Or, it's possible some of them snuck in and enjoy wearing unitards and vision obscuring masks. I dunno. But this is what you gotta deal with as a real model."

Yeeeeah.

"So, have fuuuuuun."

The classroom was empty except for Deadpool's desk. Because this was the beginning of a special journey and chairs only got in the way of it.

...look, if he was gonna be Tyra, he needed to come up with random things the kids couldn't have this time around. For funsies. And to lure in the readers. Hello readers. Are you enjoying the post so far? No? You want more introductions? You're a cruel person.

"So," Deadpool said, ignoring any slurs against those who saw this on their F-list. "Welcome to Modeling for Dummies. In this class, you'll learn the way to succeed in a high pressure situation that wouldn't happen except for on TV, with challenges that have no real bearing on obstacles in your future careers." A beat. "Unless you come from some crazy ass world. Then maybe."

He continued on, trying not to dwell on those insane worlds. Really, it was for the best that he never met Karla.

Magic cock rings.

"So, since everyone has been doing introductions everywhere before this, let's assume I don't care about your names, hopes, dreams or grade. Because that would probably be true. I don't care. But I say that with love. Instead of something that will make ya'll get with the drinking game, I want everyone to pick a classmate and make up some random crap about them that would make them an edgy model. I'll go first!" Oh yeah, this'll end well. "One time, Chuck Bass beat a hobo to death, but then realized the error of his ways and became a priest. It was a touching life lesson that we can all learn from."

One day, people would learn not to allow him to teach. One day.

"Oh, and mini-me. TA. Have fun with the job."