Modeling for Dummies, Thursday 1/7/10

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

The classroom was empty except for Deadpool's desk. Because this was the beginning of a special journey and chairs only got in the way of it.

...look, if he was gonna be Tyra, he needed to come up with random things the kids couldn't have this time around. For funsies. And to lure in the readers. Hello readers. Are you enjoying the post so far? No? You want more introductions? You're a cruel person.

"So," Deadpool said, ignoring any slurs against those who saw this on their F-list. "Welcome to Modeling for Dummies. In this class, you'll learn the way to succeed in a high pressure situation that wouldn't happen except for on TV, with challenges that have no real bearing on obstacles in your future careers." A beat. "Unless you come from some crazy ass world. Then maybe."

He continued on, trying not to dwell on those insane worlds. Really, it was for the best that he never met Karla.

Magic cock rings.

"So, since everyone has been doing introductions everywhere before this, let's assume I don't care about your names, hopes, dreams or grade. Because that would probably be true. I don't care. But I say that with love. Instead of something that will make ya'll get with the drinking game, I want everyone to pick a classmate and make up some random crap about them that would make them an edgy model. I'll go first!" Oh yeah, this'll end well. "One time, Chuck Bass beat a hobo to death, but then realized the error of his ways and became a priest. It was a touching life lesson that we can all learn from."

One day, people would learn not to allow him to teach. One day.

"Oh, and mini-me. TA. Have fun with the job."

Comments

Sign in

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

With some Blue Steel

Re: Sign in

[rocksthescarf.livejournal.com]

Chuck Bass

Listen to the Lecture

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

...aren't you glad you took this class?

Talk, pass notes, belittle your classmates for being different from you in as bitchy a fashion as humanly possible.

Re: Listen to the Lecture

[rocksthescarf.livejournal.com]

No, Deadpool, Dean was the priest. Chuck was the naughty altar boy. Get it right.

Oh now he was going to be distracted for the rest of class. Nice going.

Re: Listen to the Lecture

[redandblueblur.livejournal.com]

Another semester of the craziest teacher Clark had ever met. The office people must hate him for sure.

Also, class number two with dummies in the title. This had to say something, but what?

Re: Listen to the Lecture

[thismaskiwear.livejournal.com]

Yes, Katchoo officially hated frikkin' everything right now.

There was no actual soft rhythmic thumping of her head against the desk, but there might've been a slightly worrisome teeth-grinding sound . . .

Re: Listen to the Lecture

[decoder-rings.livejournal.com]

Hannibal had his face in his hand the entire time and it just got even more prominent when Deadpool said he'd gotten blessed with the TA position. He was not a mini me! This face was his!

Re: Listen to the Lecture

[life_inshadow]

Tara was trying to sink into the floor. A class on modeling? With the crazy vice principal from etiquette class?

She hadn't signed up for this. She didn't hate herself nearly that much.

Re: Listen to the Lecture

[onlysmokesnics.livejournal.com]

Hayley wrote down notes and started to think this was the first teacher that really made sense to her.

Re: Listen to the Lecture

[wantstocheer.livejournal.com]

Claire was too lazy to try to take notes while standing around, so she just listened.

Re: Listen to the Lecture

[mississippiqueen]

Teacher. In. Spandex. And. A. Mask.

Emmett wasn't entirely sure at this point that he wasn't in the emergency room at Hazlehurst General in a drug-induced coma -- but if he was, they could just keep pumping that stuff right into his IV.

Re: Listen to the Lecture

[wwiii]

Warren didn't know anybody in the classroom, and was fairly certain that he couldn't fake it well enough to come up with something appropriately bitchy about them, so he kind of put his head down and pulled his long coat a little tighter around his shoulders.

How did he end up in the class taught by the bus driver?

Introduce Someone

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

Seriously. Chuck Bass is a priest. It was in Amsterdam.

Re: Introduce Someone

[rocksthescarf.livejournal.com]

"Sam Winchester's really a woman," Chuck said. "That's why he wears so many layers. To cover his-slash-her boobs."

Chuck was a terrible friend.

Re: Introduce Someone

[decoder-rings.livejournal.com]

Hannibal scanned the room to see who he knew. It was a lot of unfamiliar faces and Hannibal frowned, wondering how he'd missed so many people. So, he went for the obvious.

"Angela's in recovery for a glue sniffing habit," he said, proving himself a wonderful example of a boyfriend. Hey, she was the easiest target.

Re: Introduce Someone

[wantstocheer.livejournal.com]

"Hayley is an undercover nun hiding from the mob," Claire said.

Re: Introduce Someone

[mississippiqueen]

This could be a bit of a problem since Emmett didn't know any of the other people in the class yet. Even just their names. He could point though. In this case to Clark Kent.

"He's secretly an alien from the planet gnyaaaaaaaaaaah."

Emmett Honeycutt: made of subtle. Subtle and shiny machine-extruded fibers.

Re: Introduce Someone

[lovemykilt]

Priestly glanced around the room and picked a classmate almost at random.

Congrats, Emmett.

"So this guy," yeah, he totally didn't know his name, yet, "used to be a child start. You know, one of those movies where the little kid gets the drop on a big dumb adult and he made lots and lots of money which his father squandered away at the craps table in Vegas, leaving them penniless and destitute on the streets."

There. That was dramatic enough, right?

Re: Introduce Someone

[ashockingbitch]

"Priestly's hair detects danger," Jenny said. "That's why he wears it like that. To make it more effective at sensing danger." It made perfect sense to her.

Re: Introduce Someone

[flashesforinfo.livejournal.com]

"Hannibal has some unfortunate stalker tendencies. It's sweet until there's a whole shrine involved."

Oh yeah. Payback time.

"... You might be next."

Re: Introduce Someone

[onlysmokesnics.livejournal.com]

"Lion-o? He's leading a double life as a dancer at The Scratching Post in Gotham," Hayley said. "You know. That sort of club."

Re: Introduce Someone

[sorella-vecchia.livejournal.com]

"I hate my life."

Oh, wait... make up something about someone else. Triela was going to have to try that again...

"Claire's last modeling career was under a different name and ended tragically due to an incident involving an eighteen wheeler and a bowl of corn flakes."

Talk to the TA

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

When he tags in. Mmmm. Ryan Reynolds.

Re: Talk to the TA

[decoder-rings.livejournal.com]

Ryan Reynolds Hannibal was there, looking a little reluctant to be up there but not denying that the power wasn't nice.

Talk to the Teacher

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

He's there.

Oh yeah. And he's totally judging you right now.

OOC

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

...I'm not allowed to write stuff without sleep anymore.

Re: OOC

[trigons_child]

Actually, I encourage it!