Fandom High School

"It's our last class," Jack said simply, as he began to pass out papers. "We've covered a fair amount of ground this term -- though of course, thee's far more we could have talked about but didn't -- and I hope you enjoyed it. I know I enjoyed teaching you. Anyhow -- as I promised, we're having a written final. I look forward to reading what you have to say."

Jack looked slightly smug and more than slightly rumpled as he dashed into class today.

“Right,” he said. “I apologize for last week. This week I’ll try not to blurt out every thought that passes through my skull. Which is for the best.” No one needed to know what was in Jack’s head right then.

“We’re discussing djinn,” he continued. “Genies, in the vernacular. In Islamic tradition, they are immortal invisible spirits made of fire who have free will and can be good, bad, or in between – just like people. There’s even a tradition of personal djinn, known as qarīn, who pass along evil suggestions – think of them like guardian angels in reverse, or like the devil on your shoulder.”

“But in popular culture, djinn are known almost entirely for getting trapped in bottles and granting wishes upon their release. They usually subvert the wish in some way – for example, wish for your own weight in gold and it may fall from the sky and crush you. Typically stories like that end with the wisher, if he or she is benevolent, either wishing the genie free or wishing to undo all their previous wishes and returning to normal life, sadder but wiser.”

“Today, we’re watching an episode of a television series that tells a story exactly like that. When it’s over, we’ll discuss what we would do with three wishes.”

And then he pressed play on the DVD.

"Good morning," Jack greeted once everyone seemed to be in place. "We had a few requests to discuss magic users last week, so we're taking that on today."

"Fairy tales make it simple -- there are evil witches and good ones. The good ones might grant your heart's desire, but woe be onto you if you run into an evil one." The roll of Jack's eyes was just about audible. "The truth is, magic-users -- whether you call them witches or sorcerers or thamaturgists -- are just people with one very special skill, and no more likely to be all good or all evil than shoemakers or chemists."

"Magic is like vampires; it refuses to work the same way in any two worlds. I'll speak of how it works where I'm from, which will make perfect sense to some of you and sound like nonsense to others. Anyhow, at home magic is a skill, and not one seen as terribly glamorous. In theory anyone could learn at least the basics with enough patience and effort; in practice perhaps five percent of the population has the interest and knack to do much of anything with it. We say those people have a spark, and it tends to run in families.

"Now, if you have a 'spark,' you have two choices. Most people with magical abilities are hearth witches, nothing more. They might make a healing poultice or do a spell encouraging their garden to grow, but for the most part they live very ordinary lives. The government has discretion to punish these people if they make a nuisance of themselves or harm anyone, but for the most part it's left alone.

"But for some of the magically inclined, that's not enough. Those who want to become professional sorcerers go to special universities dedicated to the study of magic, where far more complex spells are taught. Graduates swear an oath and are tattooed with a sorcerer's brand on the chest. Some become physicians; others work in law enforcement. The schooling is difficult, and -- to quote Arachnid-Guy - 'with great power comes great responsibility.' They are expected to use their skills to serve the public. It is not a path for everyone, but those who pursue it can do all the good in the world."

He thought of Abby Irene, then, of how she'd quite possibly saved his life.

"So that's my world. My question for you is, does it make sense to openly regulate magic the way we do? Or should the state and spellbooks stay far from each other?"

Class met in the danger shop today, which was programmed to look like a deserted urban streetscene of chain-link fences and dilapidated brick buildings. It might look slightly familiar to some of the more pop culture-savvy students, but only some distant moans revealed anything was amiss.

The only slightly off notes were the shack in one corner of the lot, helpfully labelled COFFEE HUT, in which students might find an array of hot beverages, and one equally helpfully labeled ARMORY that held an array of handguns, flamethrowers, and some more ... esoteric weapons. (The Danger Shop kept popping a box of records in there, and Jack left it.)

"Welcome," he said, after the students were gathered but before they could get too creeped out. "This is our session on zombies. In historical terms, the antecedents are stories about magic users animating corpses for their own purposes. But in many worlds, that's -- let us say evolved -- into the concept or even the reality of zombiehood as a communicable disease, spread by biting or contact with the body fluids of the undead. Those are the ones you see at Caritas and in whatever horrible movie Syfy is showing this week. Most move very slowly but some are fast. They eat human flesh and organs, especially brains, and can keep going until until their heads are destroyed no matter how rotted their bodies appear."

He glanced nervously to the side as he realized the moaning was getting louder. "And today, you'll fight them. I know normally this class is all about tolerance, but some things can't be tolerated. Weapons are in the armory, headshots and fire work best to kill them, and if you get bitten you'll be locked out of the simulation for the rest of the class." A beat as the first zombie lumbered into view and ... began a dance routine. "Good luck."

"Welcome to class," Jack offered, leaning as usual against his desk. "This was going to be a session on the 'noisy spirits' known as poltergeists, but after last weekend that seems a bit -- well, a bit on the nose. I can't completely throw the lesson plan out the window, but I can offer the lightest film on the topic I found. It's about a man whose first wife finds a way to make her displeasure known from beyond the grave; despite that, it's actually funny. We'll come back for a more in-depth discussion next week."

And with that, he put a DVD in the player. Who said teaching couldn't be easy?

"Where there is light, there has to be dark," Jack remarked once the students were in their seats. "And if we begin by talking about angels, the next week we need to discuss demons. I’m devoting this week to definitions and classifications; next week we’ll discuss exorcism."

He paused to consider what a very cheerful topic that was before continuing.

"The word demon itself comes from a Greek root that merely indicates a divine power. Early man, though, was more interested in evil powers than in good ones, so there are many more myths about demons than about angels. Sometimes demons are seen as independent spirits, or as fallen angels. But in several belief systems, demons are associated with the spirits of the recently dead. Dr. Freud said that helped to show how much power the dead hold over the living."

"Medieval man blamed demons for everything that went wrong," he added. "If the milk curdled, if your horse ran away, if you had a headache, if your baby died in his sleep -- all of that was the work of demons. And even today, people in many parts of the world continue to believe in the possibility of demonic possession."

"The most common classification system for demons in my world was written by a priest named Alfonso de Spina in the 15th century," Jack said, bringing the list up on a slide.

"Demons of fate," he continued, "mean the demons who control destiny. Familiars are demons bound to a sorcerer and willed to do their bidding. A drude is a possessed witch who comes to sit on one's chest at night, in German beliefs. Sabbaths, in this context, means meetings for witches. Everything else should more or less explain itself."

"Your assignment for this week is to research a demon and write a few paragraphs describing it," he said. "Preferably one that can be accounted for in de Spina's classifications, but if there's another type you're burning to discuss I won't hold it against you. The" -- leather-bound and vaguely forboding -- "books are over there, or use computers if you'd prefer."

Jack was standing at the front of the classroom as the students filed in. He didn’t look much older than they did, but between the natty blue suit and his general air of authority it was clear he thought he was in charge of the classroom. It was his first time ever in front of a class in this way, but he refused to be nervous.

“Welcome to Supernatural Studies,” he said, once everyone was in their seats. “I’m Jack Priest. You can call me Jack, or Mr. Priest, or even Professor Priest if you’re the type. I graduated in 2010, so some of you may still remember me as a student.”

He rather hoped not; it might get awkward.

“And this” – and now he smiled – “is your official scholarly introduction to things that go bump in the night. For the purposes of this class, we are defining supernatural as anything that cannot be entirely explained by science or the laws of nature, or that goes beyond baseline human experiences and abilities.”

“Some of you are no doubt from home worlds where there’s nothing supernatural at all. Others are from places more like my home world, where magic is accepted to the point of seeming a bit dull. Whatever your world is like, I guarantee you there’s at least one thing you think is absolutely true about the supernatural that someone else in the classroom would swear is totally false. I trust you’ll all respect the diversity and not waste time arguing about it; I also trust no one here will make things up for fun.”

“The second thing I’d like to request is that we don’t, as it were, ‘out’ each other as being supernatural. It’s fine to talk about your own special skills and background, but if you happen to know the person sitting next to you is a shapeshifting imp, please keep it under your hat. It’s important to me everyone feels comfortable here, and that means respecting everyone’s privacy.”

Including Jack’s. He had no intention of discussing his own lycanthropy with the class unless he had to.

“That’s what I have for now,” he concluded. “And as this is the first week, I suspect the world would end without introductions. Please state your name, grade, and one thing that’s true about supernatural forces in your home. If your universe has nothing supernatural that you know of, share a common myth or legend about a supernatural creature. If your universe has nothing supernatural and no myths or legends, explain why you’re here to start with.” He pointed at a student. “Begin.”