Fandom High School

"Welcome, welcome, welcome!" cried one Jerry, dancing around excitedly. He had Christmas lights around his housecoat and his wig was nearly falling off.

"Welcome to Introduction to Swimming and Boating for Beginners and Advanced Beginners!" said the other Jerry. He looked perfectly normal. Wherein "normal" is defined as "Jerry." So not normal at all.

"Welcome to Boating Safety for Canadians!"

"Welcome to Fire Safety for Albanians!"

"Welcome to Fire Alarms for Haitians!"

"Welcome to Alarming Science for Swedens!"

"Yes! We have science, Jerry! We brought it here for you!"

"Taste our science! Taste it!"

"This week, we shall study mating rituals of the porcupine!"

"This week, we shall make models of the Taj Mahal using only meat!"

"This week, we shall diagram the fall of the Roman Empire using spaghetti and an old toothbrush!"

( This week, we are going ... TO THE MOON! )
(OCD, OCD, please wait for the OCD! The OCD is up, and the final Jerryclass is now in play. Do come in.)

Anyone hoping that the Jerries would be mysteriously absent this week were to be sadly disappointed. Jerry Sizzler - and his sister, Jerry Sizzler! - were in the Danger Shop this always said Danger Shop, which they handwavily told you all to assemble at, Jerry! bright and early on Tuesday. It was entirely possible that they had spent the night there. Perhaps several nights. It would certainly explain the lingering smell of turnip cake.

"Good morning!" cried one Jerry, throwing a handful of confetti. "Welcome to the Olympics!"

"We have exclusive coverage, Jerry!"

"If you see the other networks here, stab them!"

"You may stab them with the specially provided bank deposit slips," added one Jerry helpfully.

"Our first event today is very special indeed, Jerry."

"Is the cameraman getting this, Jerry!?"

"We will zoom in close, for a montage!"

( This week, on Road to the Olympics, we solve a mystery! )
(the OCD, ooooh baby, it's coming, it's coooooming ... OCD up. Sanity removed. Let us begin.)

"We have done it!" cried one Jerry.

"We have found it!" shouted the other.

They were inside the Activities Area, running around in cheerful circles and flailing their arms. So, just like always, but with happy instead of panic.

"We have discovered the key to decoding the secrets of the universe!"

"It is here! It is ours! We have brought it to you, Jerry!"

"The Rosetta Stone!"

"The Extended Metaphor!"

"The Four for Old Times' Sake!"

"The Seattle Times!"

"The Times New Roman!"

"The Times Old Roman!"

"Behold!" Both Jerries swept their arms dramatically, ( revealing ... )



[OOC: OCD'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes ... OCD is up. Play on.]

This class was not actually located at the large campfire, as the teachers had decided that the campfires had demon spirits within them and thus were planted by the truckers union to watch them. You couldn't be too careful with truckers' union demons. And the teachers weren't entirely sure if they counted as vampires anyway.

So instead students would be reporting to the lovely Activities Area, which looked suspiciously like the Dining Hall. Chairs were lined up neatly in rows, and there was a bulletin board with helpful information. Okay, the bulletin board actually had coupons on it for Dinty Moore soup, but coupons are helpful.

Just before class was about to begin, two men wearing housecoats over flannel pajamas entered the room. One of them had a blonde wig (price tag still attached) and red lipstick smeared oddly around his face, and the other had a darker wig and at least three days' worth of stubble. If any students were hoping that these were not going to be their instructors, they shouldn't have signed up for a class with such a stupid name were going to be greatly disappointed.

( behold the craziness! )

"Yes, yes. And then we shall get to the educational portion of things."



[Wait for OCD OCD up! If you're unfamiliar with the Jerries, this infopost might help, but really, all you need to know is that they're insane.]