Tuesday, May 22 - Period 3 - Advanced Beginner's Guide to look, they don't remember it either

[sizzler-sisters.livejournal.com]

The most amazing thing is that both Jerries were there in the Activities Area for class again this week.

"Welcome, welcome, welcome!" One Jerry blew a loud noisemaker. "And happy new year!"

"Welcome to Alcoholics Anonymous."

"And since it is Anonymous, you must give us all fake names. FAKE NAMES ONLY!"

"For example, I shall be Steve, although my real name is Jerry Sizzler!"

"And I am his sister, Jerry Sizzler!"

"But this week, you are also Steve!"

"Yes, Jerry!"

"Happy New Year, Steve!"

"Thank you, Jerry! This week on Cooking for Bachelors, we will teach you how to make ..."

"Papier-mâché bricks!" both shouted at once.

They waved their arms to indicate the materials they'd brought. The table in front of them had a large number of bricks, some hammers, a few pairs of scissors, cannisters of flour, several gallon-sized jugs of water, some nutmeg, a little oregano, some frozen lima beans (now thawing), a box of wine, an entire stack of newspapers, a wrench, seven ballpoint pens, and a stapler. A red stapler. Don't take it.

They explained the process very carefully as detailed below in the convenient OCD threads. Well, as carefully as one could when one was a Jerry off his meds. And they were. So very, very off their meds.

When all of the steps were completed - more or less - the Jerries waved to where they probably thought there was an oven.

"Now. Place your creation in the oven at 300 degrees!"

"What a lovely treat for your husband when he comes home from work!"

"He's cheating on you! The lying bastard!"

"Stab him! Stab him!"

"Stab him with Ritz crackers!"

"That's all for this week! We will have your finished pottery clay lumps on Thursday!"

"Please come back next week for Dancing with Celebrities!"

"Jerry! I am not a celebrity! I am incognito!"

"No! But Jerry! ... So am I!"

"Steve! We must run!"

And so they did. Far, far away.

(Please wait for OCD up. Insanity Inside. Play on, kiddies.)

Comments

Sign in!

[sizzler-sisters.livejournal.com]

USE A FAKE NAME, JERRY! Otherwise the government will find you.

Re: Sign in!

[imissmydolphin.livejournal.com]

Frankenstein

Step One: Making the Paste. Ish.

[sizzler-sisters.livejournal.com]

"The first step," one Jerry said, "Is to mix up the flour and the water."

"I like to use a little milk!"

"Maybe add some sugar, to taste."

"Turpentine never goes amiss!"

"Although, you know. One can use too much turpentine!"

"Jerry! You prrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrick!"

While the Jerries strangle each other, mix up some paste.

Re: Step One: Making the Paste. Ish.

[dark_slippy_thing]

Valentine decided to follow the entire recipe, turpentine and all. After all, it wasn't as though he really had anything important to do with a paper mâché brick. Might as well muck about some.

Re: Step One: Making the Paste. Ish.

[chasingsnitches.livejournal.com]

Cedric started mixing. And got it on his shirt. And shoes. And face.

After the last one, he was really beginning to think he just wasn't crafty. He managed to get the paste like stuff made even though it looked...runny.

Re: Step One: Making the Paste. Ish.

[stuckeyboy]

Warren was an old pro at making papier mache paste. Mind you, he didn't usually do it for bricks, but still, there was a level of professionalism to how he mixed things up.

Re: Step One: Making the Paste. Ish.

[bruiser-in-pink.livejournal.com]

Man, this class was crazy!

Molly mixed up her paste, but left out the turpentine.

Re: Step One: Making the Paste. Ish.

[southernbender.livejournal.com]

Katara didn't know what turpentine was so she added it to her paste. And then greatly regretted it as the smell overpowered her.

Re: Step One: Making the Paste. Ish.

[sarcasm-guy.livejournal.com]

The turpentine smelled nasty, but Sokka added a WHOLE lot of sugar. If this paste thing didn't work out, he could always eat it.

Re: Step One: Making the Paste. Ish.

[narglette.livejournal.com]

Luna Tutu Moonpants mixed up a paste that would probably go rancid in a weeks time, with two drops of turpentine for good measure because apparently you could have too much of it if Steve and Steve Prick were anything to judge by.

Step Two: Ripping and Shredding.

[sizzler-sisters.livejournal.com]

"Next," said one Jerry, who was a little hoarse from all that strangling, "you take the newspapers and tear them into strips!"

"Yes! Tear up the hateful, awful words!"

"Remember, the words are watching you!"

"Sent by the government!"

No, they didn't remember last week's class. But the paranoia was strong with these two.

"Tear! Tear! Tear!"

Do it. Or the Bolivian robot dogs will be after you. Who needs that?

Re: Step Two: Ripping and Shredding.

[dark_slippy_thing]

Valentine certainly didn't need to be chased down by Bolivian robot dogs. Or a baby elephant, for that matter.
So he dutifully tore up the newspaper into strips.
Ripping paper turned out to be rather therapeutic.

Re: Step Two: Ripping and Shredding.

[chasingsnitches.livejournal.com]

Cedric tore up strips of newspaper...except, he stopped when he started reading the stories. He wasn't from around here and the giant, two headed baby was interesting!

Re: Step Two: Ripping and Shredding.

[stuckeyboy]

Strip ripping? Oh so very old hat, as well. So Warren started tucking the strips into his shirt as he went.

He figured the clearly insane guys running the class might approve.

Re: Step Two: Ripping and Shredding.

[bruiser-in-pink.livejournal.com]

Molly hadn't done Papier-mâché since grade school. Apparently there are some things you just don't forget. She ripped her newspapers into narrow strips without a problem.

Re: Step Two: Ripping and Shredding.

[southernbender.livejournal.com]

Katara did her best to rip the papers into very small strips so that no words remained complete.

Re: Step Two: Ripping and Shredding.

[sarcasm-guy.livejournal.com]

Sokka shredded with GUSTO! Paper went flying everywhere. Some of it was covered in delicious paste.

Re: Step Two: Ripping and Shredding.

[narglette.livejournal.com]

Tutu Moonpants shredded up her newspapers right and proper... after she looked for the rune puzzles.

Step Three: Pasting. And Waiting. And Maybe Some Talk, No Big Whoop.

[sizzler-sisters.livejournal.com]

"So paste the strips onto the bricks, and wait for it to harden."

"Yes, Jerry!"

"Of course, Steve!"

"While we wait, we should talk about our personal feelings."

"I myself am hungry!"

"I believe I am a Scorpio, Jerry."

"Steve!"

"Yes, sorry, Steve!"

In this thread: paste. And talk. Let those emotions out. It's not healthy to bottle, y'know.

Re: Step Three: Pasting. And Waiting. And Maybe Some Talk, No Big Whoop.

[dark_slippy_thing]

Valentine was rather enjoying the process of dipping newspaper strips into turpentine paste.
He didn't look so anxious to be talking, however, so he decided he would just ramble about fish to anyone who bothered to attempt conversation today.

Re: Step Three: Pasting. And Waiting. And Maybe Some Talk, No Big Whoop.

[chasingsnitches.livejournal.com]

Cedric tried dripping his newspaper into his runny paste. The newspaper got soggy and it didn't lay quite right on the bricks.

"I think you two have great hair," he said to the Jerries.

Step Four: Smashy Smashy Smashy

[sizzler-sisters.livejournal.com]

"Now that your brick has dried! Smash it with a hammer!"

There are hammers provided. And scissors. And shoes. Lots of shoes.

"Smash it to bits! Shake the bits out!"

"Now take those bits and put them in a bowl with some nutmeg."

"The mafia will never suspect that!"

That's right, smash your pretty papier-mâché brick into pieces. Papier-mâché and brick both. It's possible the Jerries don't realize this is normally done with balloons.

Re: Step Four: Smashy Smashy Smashy

[dark_slippy_thing]

Valentine certainly didn't want the mafia to suspect that he had mangled a perfectly good brick, so, after showing it who was boss by way of a hammer with a shoe on it, he dutifully covered his shaken brick-bits in nutmeg.
Ah, another job well done.

After Class

[sizzler-sisters.livejournal.com]

The Jerries were running away. But that involved running in circles first and forgetting how the door worked a few times, so if you want to talk to them after class, you really, really can.

Our Illustrious TA

[sizzler-sisters.livejournal.com]

Hamlet, crown prince of Denmark, now a lackey for madmen. O how the mighty have fallen! Wait for him to ping in svp.

Re: Our Illustrious TA

[ihatedenmark.livejournal.com]

Hamlet the TA was here.

This week, he was wearing a nametag sticker that read "Jonathan". Whether the Jerries had forced him to do that, or he done it on his own was anyone's guess.

OOC

[sizzler-sisters.livejournal.com]

Jerryclass is way easier to write on the spur of the moment at 4 am than you would imagine.

This scares me.

A lot.