fandomhigh | Tuesday, May 22 - Period 3 - Advanced Beginner's Guide to look, they don't remember it either

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Tuesday, May 22 - Period 3 - Advanced Beginner's Guide to look, they don't remember it either

The most amazing thing is that both Jerries were there in the Activities Area for class again this week.

"Welcome, welcome, welcome!" One Jerry blew a loud noisemaker. "And happy new year!"

"Welcome to Alcoholics Anonymous."

"And since it is Anonymous, you must give us all fake names. FAKE NAMES ONLY!"

"For example, I shall be Steve, although my real name is Jerry Sizzler!"

"And I am his sister, Jerry Sizzler!"

"But this week, you are also Steve!"

"Yes, Jerry!"

"Happy New Year, Steve!"

"Thank you, Jerry! This week on Cooking for Bachelors, we will teach you how to make ..."

"Papier-mâché bricks!" both shouted at once.

They waved their arms to indicate the materials they'd brought. The table in front of them had a large number of bricks, some hammers, a few pairs of scissors, cannisters of flour, several gallon-sized jugs of water, some nutmeg, a little oregano, some frozen lima beans (now thawing), a box of wine, an entire stack of newspapers, a wrench, seven ballpoint pens, and a stapler. A red stapler. Don't take it.

They explained the process very carefully ~~as detailed below in the convenient OCD threads.~~ Well, as carefully as one could when one was a Jerry off his meds. And they were. So very, very off their meds.

When all of the steps were completed - more or less - the Jerries waved to where they probably thought there was an oven.

"Now. Place your creation in the oven at 300 degrees!"

"What a lovely treat for your husband when he comes home from work!"

"He's cheating on you! The lying bastard!"

"Stab him! Stab him!"

"Stab him with Ritz crackers!"

"That's all for this week! We will have your finished pottery clay lumps on Thursday!"

"Please come back next week for Dancing with Celebrities!"

"Jerry! I am not a celebrity! I am incognito!"

"No! But Jerry! ... So am I!"

"Steve! We must run!"

And so they did. Far, far away.

(~~Please wait for~~ OCD up. Insanity Inside. Play on, kiddies.)

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"So paste the strips onto the bricks, and wait for it to harden."

"Yes, Jerry!"

"Of course, Steve!"

"While we wait, we should talk about our personal feelings."

"I myself am hungry!"

"I believe I am a Scorpio, Jerry."

"Steve!"

"Yes, sorry, Steve!"

In this thread: paste. And talk. Let those emotions out. It's not healthy to bottle, y'know.

Valentine was rather enjoying the process of dipping newspaper strips into turpentine paste.
He didn't look so anxious to be talking, however, so he decided he would just ramble about fish to anyone who bothered to attempt conversation today.

"Very nicely done, Jerry," said one Jerry.

"We applaud your efforts for the poor."

"And that concert you gave for them."

"We cried during the encore, Jerry!"

"We are honored to have you here." Both bowed.

Cedric tried dripping his newspaper into his runny paste. The newspaper got soggy and it didn't lay quite right on the bricks.

"I think you two have great hair," he said to the Jerries.

Both Jerries preened.

"Thank you, Brick! It is completely natural!" said one Jerry ~~who totally shouldn't remember the brick thing but I think it's funny~~.

"Completely! Totally!"

"Except that isn't her natural hair color."

"You lying bitch!" gasped the other.

"She's a bruneeeeeette! She's a bruneeeeeette!" sang one Jerry.

"Liar! Liar!"

The Jerries began strangling each other. Again.

Cedric just stepped out of their way and let them strangle each other.

All right, not completely...

"It doesn't look natural." He had no idea who he was talking to.

Both stopped and looked at him. And dropped their hands.

"Well, I do touch it up a bit. For the gray."

"She's been gray since we were children."

"I was born gray!"

"It does not mean we're old."

"Would you like to try it, Jerry?"

One Jerry removed his wig and held it out to ~~Cedric~~ Brick.

"Your hair takes dye very well, Steve."

Cedric took the wig...and put it on. "How's it look?"

"Jerry! You are beautiful!"

"Brick, you make a very lovely vegetable farmer."

"All the girls in town will be jealous!"

"Look, Steve, she has her mother's eyes."

"You must phone her and tell her."

"My mother lives underground," Cedric said. Because he wanted to see their reaction.

Re: Step Three: Pasting. And Waiting. And Maybe Some Talk, No Big Whoop.

sizzler-sisters.livejournal.com - 2007-05-22 23:45 (UTC) - Expand

Warren built up a careful, wrinkly texture on his brick.

Dude, shut up, that texture was totally on purpose. Then, 'cause, well, they told him to, he started talking, but at a low mutter.

"Do I paste the strips, or do the strips paste me?"

He was still in a bit of an existential crisis after seeing Namine's portal, last night.

"We're not sure, Jerry," said one Jerry helpfully.

"Perhaps it is the brick pasting you."

"Yes! Yes, the brick is pasting you onto the strips."

"Be careful of that. You will be covered in the brick's strips."

"And then forced to do its bidding!"

"It might send you out for dip."

Warren kind of wanted to head-brick. "I'll remember that. Thank you, Jerries."

"Thank you, Miss Lefay."

"We shall not soon forget your kindness."

Both bowed deeply.

Molly set about pasting the strips to the brick. She was very careful to make sure it was completely covered.

"Leave air holes," said one Jerry solemnly.

"It won't be any good with a drowned brick!" supplied the other.

"It likes to whistle," Molly agreed with a nod.

"Jerry," said one Jerry with a contented sigh. "She has named her brick!"

"This bonding is really a beautiful thing to watch."

"No one can take your love away from you."

"Treasure it always."

"Unless it's half-price week."

Sokka did his damnedest to make the soggy-paper-covered brick look like a headless wildebeest.

"Mildred," said one Jerry threateningly. "What did we tell you about using poison electronic devices?"

Both Jerries looked at each other before shouting in unison, "NEVER IN THE HOUSE!"

"Now go stand in the corner and think about what you've done."

"Go now! And recite numbers while you are there!"

"But not in order!"

"No, never in order. Or the rocks will eat them."

Sokka sat right where he was and started counting.

"One.
Two.
Three.
Four.
Commander.
Five.
Mildred here.
Six.
I'm spying on Jerry Sizzler.
Seven.
And his sister, Jerry Sizzler.
Eight."

One Jerry listened for a minute.

"It almost sounds like there's a code, Jerry."

"It is! It's a clever one."

"Hmmm. We shall keep an eye on him."

"Yes, Jerry!"

"Immediately, Steve!"

Tutu Moonpants put her... finely shredded and strangely shaped strips of wet newspaper on to a brick.

...and on to a balloon she found in her pocket.

...and an apple she happened to have handy.

...and a spare key to Merlin knew what.

...and, finally, a gum wrapper.

She'd done a lot of shredding.

The Jerries nodded with approval at her collection.

"You have made a fine use of the source material."

"It is derivative, but not parodically so."

"We feel it keeps the Latin beat of the original without overdoing the rumba undertones."

"The lemony zest is quite nice."

"I suppose we rate this a seven, perhaps a seven point five?"

"Jerry!" gasped the other, shocked. "This is clearly an eight point two!"

"Why I never!" exclaimed the other.

They began strangling each other. Again.

"Perhaps, Sirs," She said loudly to them, "it could be a seven point nine?"

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