Tuesday, May 22 - Period 3 - Advanced Beginner's Guide to look, they don't remember it either

[sizzler-sisters.livejournal.com]

The most amazing thing is that both Jerries were there in the Activities Area for class again this week.

"Welcome, welcome, welcome!" One Jerry blew a loud noisemaker. "And happy new year!"

"Welcome to Alcoholics Anonymous."

"And since it is Anonymous, you must give us all fake names. FAKE NAMES ONLY!"

"For example, I shall be Steve, although my real name is Jerry Sizzler!"

"And I am his sister, Jerry Sizzler!"

"But this week, you are also Steve!"

"Yes, Jerry!"

"Happy New Year, Steve!"

"Thank you, Jerry! This week on Cooking for Bachelors, we will teach you how to make ..."

"Papier-mâché bricks!" both shouted at once.

They waved their arms to indicate the materials they'd brought. The table in front of them had a large number of bricks, some hammers, a few pairs of scissors, cannisters of flour, several gallon-sized jugs of water, some nutmeg, a little oregano, some frozen lima beans (now thawing), a box of wine, an entire stack of newspapers, a wrench, seven ballpoint pens, and a stapler. A red stapler. Don't take it.

They explained the process very carefully as detailed below in the convenient OCD threads. Well, as carefully as one could when one was a Jerry off his meds. And they were. So very, very off their meds.

When all of the steps were completed - more or less - the Jerries waved to where they probably thought there was an oven.

"Now. Place your creation in the oven at 300 degrees!"

"What a lovely treat for your husband when he comes home from work!"

"He's cheating on you! The lying bastard!"

"Stab him! Stab him!"

"Stab him with Ritz crackers!"

"That's all for this week! We will have your finished pottery clay lumps on Thursday!"

"Please come back next week for Dancing with Celebrities!"

"Jerry! I am not a celebrity! I am incognito!"

"No! But Jerry! ... So am I!"

"Steve! We must run!"

And so they did. Far, far away.

(Please wait for OCD up. Insanity Inside. Play on, kiddies.)

Comments

Step Four: Smashy Smashy Smashy

[sizzler-sisters.livejournal.com]

"Now that your brick has dried! Smash it with a hammer!"

There are hammers provided. And scissors. And shoes. Lots of shoes.

"Smash it to bits! Shake the bits out!"

"Now take those bits and put them in a bowl with some nutmeg."

"The mafia will never suspect that!"

That's right, smash your pretty papier-mâché brick into pieces. Papier-mâché and brick both. It's possible the Jerries don't realize this is normally done with balloons.

Re: Step Four: Smashy Smashy Smashy

[dark_slippy_thing]

Valentine certainly didn't want the mafia to suspect that he had mangled a perfectly good brick, so, after showing it who was boss by way of a hammer with a shoe on it, he dutifully covered his shaken brick-bits in nutmeg.
Ah, another job well done.

Re: Step Four: Smashy Smashy Smashy

[sizzler-sisters.livejournal.com]

"Nutmeg, Jerry? An interesting choice," said one Jerry, who had already forgotten it was their idea.

"You have potential, Janet."

"We shall keep our eye on you."

Which meant they had to stare at him for a few minutes. In a really creepy way.

Re: Step Four: Smashy Smashy Smashy

[chasingsnitches.livejournal.com]

After all that work, Cedric didn't really want to smash his brick.

"Can I give this to you guys as a present, instead?"

Re: Step Four: Smashy Smashy Smashy

[sizzler-sisters.livejournal.com]

"Jerry! We are allergic to bricks!"

"Steve! He is trying to poison us, Steve!"

Both Jerries ran around in a circle, flapping their arms and screaming. For about two minutes.

Then as if on cue they both stopped and calmly walked over to him.

"Thank you for your generous gift, Your Grace."

"We shall treasure it always."

"Build a shrine! Perhaps a tower."

Both bowed.

[The brick's going in the store unless you say otherwise ... :)]

Re: Step Four: Smashy Smashy Smashy

[chasingsnitches.livejournal.com]

Cedric bowed back. "Thank you for your knowledge and intelligence."

[YAY STORE!]

Re: Step Four: Smashy Smashy Smashy

[sizzler-sisters.livejournal.com]

The Jerries bowed again. "It is our pleasure, Cooper."

"We shall remember you by it, Brick."

They didn't make the connection. They rarely did.

[YAY STORE!!]

Re: Step Four: Smashy Smashy Smashy

[stuckeyboy]

"Dude, you usually paint these. And then use it as a doorstop, or something." Warren thought for a moment. "You could paint it with symbols and block the door so the mafia can't get in?" he suggested.

Re: Step Four: Smashy Smashy Smashy

[sizzler-sisters.livejournal.com]

"Your doors do not stop?"

"Jerry! Violet has discovered perpetual motion doors!"

"We do not need any doors."

"The mafia stole them."

"The mafia stole our donkeys."

"The donkeys drowned."

"You should keep the brick, for the donkeys."

"Do you have our donkeys, Jerry?"

Re: Step Four: Smashy Smashy Smashy

[stuckeyboy]

Warren should really just learn better than to try to reason with them. "If you don't keep the brick for the donkeys, what will the doors eat?"

Re: Step Four: Smashy Smashy Smashy

[sizzler-sisters.livejournal.com]

"Jerry, he is making a funny!" said one Jerry, laughing.

"The doors? Jerry, he is insane!"

"Every knows doors only eat hedgehogs."

"We haven't any hedgehogs."

"That's why our donkeys ran away."

"The donkeys drowned."

Re: Step Four: Smashy Smashy Smashy

[bruiser-in-pink.livejournal.com]

Molly didn't smash her brick. She just put it in the bowl and covered it with nutmeg.

Re: Step Four: Smashy Smashy Smashy

[southernbender.livejournal.com]

Katara giggled at Molly's nutmeg covered brick and passed her a piece of the newspaper she hadn't ripped up. It read Ice Cream?

Re: Step Four: Smashy Smashy Smashy

[bruiser-in-pink.livejournal.com]

Molly read the note and grinned at Katara. She nodded big time.

Re: Step Four: Smashy Smashy Smashy

[southernbender.livejournal.com]

Katara grinned back. "Maybe we can stop in at the clinic too," she whispered. "Radio said Chad and Teddy went there yesterday, but nothing about what happened."

Re: Step Four: Smashy Smashy Smashy

[sizzler-sisters.livejournal.com]

"You are using too much oregano, Jerry," said one Jerry.

"What if little Sarah is allergic, hmmmm?"

"Yes. Indeed. Less oregano."

"More window cleaner."

"Only a hint."

"Just a hint."

Re: Step Four: Smashy Smashy Smashy

[bruiser-in-pink.livejournal.com]

Molly shook her head. "I don't want to cover up the flavor of the brick."

Re: Step Four: Smashy Smashy Smashy

[sizzler-sisters.livejournal.com]

"Is she threatening us, Jerry?" gasped one Jerry.

One Jerry put up his fists.

The other ran around in circles, flailing like a crazy person. You know. Shocking.

Re: Step Four: Smashy Smashy Smashy

[sarcasm-guy.livejournal.com]

Sokka picked up a hammer and made a big show out of vigorously pounding the table NEXT TO his brick. And then sprinkled his brick with nutmeg and gave it the bowl to wear as a hat. Because his brick is INVINCIBLE.

Re: Step Four: Smashy Smashy Smashy

[sizzler-sisters.livejournal.com]

"Your brick is upside-down," whispered one Jerry in a very concerned voice.

"Careful, or the preservatives will fall out."

"They're only balanced on there carefully to begin with!"

"You mustn't lose them, or Mother will be angry."

"We are not going to Spain for you, Jerry!"

"You can't make us!"

There was flailed running. Again.

Re: Step Four: Smashy Smashy Smashy

[sarcasm-guy.livejournal.com]

"My brick is INVINCIBLE!!!" Sokka told them. "And it's going to eat your brains."

Re: Step Four: Smashy Smashy Smashy

[sizzler-sisters.livejournal.com]

"Ha ha!" said one Jerry triumphantly.

"Tell him! Tell him our clever plan!" crowed the other.

"You cannot eat our brains!"

"Because we have stored them somewhere safe!"

"You will never find them!"

"You will never think to look under our couch!"

"It is dusty back there! The dust protects them!"

"Our brains will stay uneaten!"

"So much for your carnival now!"

Re: OOC

[narglette.livejournal.com]

Tutu Moonpants' brick was soon turned to a fun pile of red dust and wet newspaper.

...and the balloon that she had found in her pocket rolled away until it lost most of its wet newspaper and developed a healthy fear of hammers.

...and the apple she happened to have handy made a delightful smooooooshing sound as it was struck the first few times before becoming a pile of wet pulps.

...and a spare key to Merlin knew what wasn't quite centered when she hit it with the hammer and went flying off to where Merlin might find it later.

...and, finally, the gum wrapper stayed oddly flat.

She'd done a lot of hammering.

Re: OOC

[sizzler-sisters.livejournal.com]

The Jerries surveyed the damage and ooooohed and aaaaahed very appreciatively.

"We like this piece very much," said one Jerry.

"It speaks to us."

"It speaks many words, such as 'tuna' and 'arthritis.'"

"Those are words which are safe from the government."

"Yes, yes. We insist on it going in our gallery."

"This is your best work yet, Mr. President."

Both bowed.

Re: OOC

[narglette.livejournal.com]

"Thank you." Tutu said.