fandomhigh | Tuesday, May 22 - Period 3 - Advanced Beginner's Guide to look, they don't remember it either

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Tuesday, May 22 - Period 3 - Advanced Beginner's Guide to look, they don't remember it either

The most amazing thing is that both Jerries were there in the Activities Area for class again this week.

"Welcome, welcome, welcome!" One Jerry blew a loud noisemaker. "And happy new year!"

"Welcome to Alcoholics Anonymous."

"And since it is Anonymous, you must give us all fake names. FAKE NAMES ONLY!"

"For example, I shall be Steve, although my real name is Jerry Sizzler!"

"And I am his sister, Jerry Sizzler!"

"But this week, you are also Steve!"

"Yes, Jerry!"

"Happy New Year, Steve!"

"Thank you, Jerry! This week on Cooking for Bachelors, we will teach you how to make ..."

"Papier-mâché bricks!" both shouted at once.

They waved their arms to indicate the materials they'd brought. The table in front of them had a large number of bricks, some hammers, a few pairs of scissors, cannisters of flour, several gallon-sized jugs of water, some nutmeg, a little oregano, some frozen lima beans (now thawing), a box of wine, an entire stack of newspapers, a wrench, seven ballpoint pens, and a stapler. A red stapler. Don't take it.

They explained the process very carefully ~~as detailed below in the convenient OCD threads.~~ Well, as carefully as one could when one was a Jerry off his meds. And they were. So very, very off their meds.

When all of the steps were completed - more or less - the Jerries waved to where they probably thought there was an oven.

"Now. Place your creation in the oven at 300 degrees!"

"What a lovely treat for your husband when he comes home from work!"

"He's cheating on you! The lying bastard!"

"Stab him! Stab him!"

"Stab him with Ritz crackers!"

"That's all for this week! We will have your finished pottery clay lumps on Thursday!"

"Please come back next week for Dancing with Celebrities!"

"Jerry! I am not a celebrity! I am incognito!"

"No! But Jerry! ... So am I!"

"Steve! We must run!"

And so they did. Far, far away.

(~~Please wait for~~ OCD up. Insanity Inside. Play on, kiddies.)

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"Next," said one Jerry, who was a little hoarse from all that strangling, "you take the newspapers and tear them into strips!"

"Yes! Tear up the hateful, awful words!"

"Remember, the words are watching you!"

"Sent by the government!"

No, they didn't remember last week's class. But the paranoia was strong with these two.

"Tear! Tear! Tear!"

Do it. Or the Bolivian robot dogs will be after you. Who needs that?

Valentine certainly didn't need to be chased down by Bolivian robot dogs. Or a baby elephant, for that matter.
So he dutifully tore up the newspaper into strips.
Ripping paper turned out to be rather therapeutic.

"Rip the paper harder, Steve!" said one Jerry happily.

"Tear the paper! Tell it how you really feel!"

"It was not very nice of it to pee on the floor like that."

"Bad paper! No casserole for you!"

"Not after the bubblewrap incident," said one Jerry wisely.

Cedric tore up strips of newspaper...except, he stopped when he started reading the stories. He wasn't from around here and the giant, two headed baby was interesting!

"Jerry!" One Jerry gasped. "The words have him!"

"They are in his miiiiiiiind!"

"Steve! We must save him, Steve!"

Each Jerry grabbed a shoulder of ~~Cedric's~~ Steve's so that they could shake him vigorously. A lot.

"Steve! Run from the words, Steve!"

"They will eat your brain, Jerry!"

"RUN! RUN NOW!"

"You will be infected! Run! Faster!"

"Run where?" Cedric asked, dropping the newspaper.

The Jerries stopped to give this its due consideration.

"France is lovely this time of year," said one.

"Yes, but it's booked up so early."

"Perhaps Reno instead."

"Yes, Reno! Belgium is much cleaner."

"We recommend it highly."

"Can I take one of you with me?" Brick asked. "To Bolivia, I mean."

"Jerry," whispered one Jerry. "I believe he's flirting with me."

"No, Jerry, he's flirting with me."

"You cannot have him! He is MINE!"

"Do not steal my husband, you tramp!"

No. They didn't remember that they were also Brick's grandparents.

They did throttle each other again.

It was a thing.

"You guys don't have to fight over me," Cedric said after few moments of watching the strangling with amusement. "I can see you both on alternating days."

Re: Step Two: Ripping and Shredding.

sizzler-sisters.livejournal.com - 2007-05-22 23:44 (UTC) - Expand

Strip ripping? Oh so very old hat, as well. So Warren started tucking the strips into his shirt as he went.

He figured the clearly insane guys running the class might approve.

The Jerries stopped dead when they saw ~~Warren~~ Mortimer putting strips of paper in his shirt.

"Jerry," whispered one Jerry in a low undertone. "Is he a spy, Jerry?"

Both leaned in closer and examined Warren, looking over him carefully.

"No, thankfully he is just a spy."

"Oh, good. I was concerned."

They straightened up and addressed him. "Do carry on, Mr. Henderson."

Molly hadn't done Papier-mâché since grade school. Apparently there are some things you just don't forget. She ripped her newspapers into narrow strips without a problem.

"Make sure your strips are even," noted one Jerry helpfully.

"If they don't match, the jaguars can read your mail."

"No one needs that."

They really don't.

Molly saluted and started ripping her strips in wavey patterns.

The Jerries watched her for a minute, and then nodded.

"She learns quickly, Jerry."

"That is why the government selected her for this program."

"We will keep our eye on you, Jenforth."

Katara did her best to rip the papers into very small strips so that no words remained complete.

The Jerries stopped and observed her as if she was a piece of artwork.

"I like what you've done with the colors, Jerry."

"Yes, Steve, I felt lemon was best here."

"There's realism in this piece."

"One of my better abstracts."

"The clock tower is a lovely touch."

Sokka shredded with GUSTO! Paper went flying everywhere. Some of it was covered in delicious paste.

The Jerries observed his shredding for a few minutes.

"He's using the Rhys-Forkstein approach," said one Jerry in a whisper.

"Won't the judges disqualify him for that!?"

"No, no, he's already wearing the protective headgear."

They eyed Sokka again and nodded.

"Brave choice, Samantha."

"We hope it pays off for you in the lightning round."

"My protective headgear is made out of your dead donkeys," Sokka replied cheerfully.

The Jerries gasped and stared at him.

"How did you know about the donkeys?"

"NO ONE knows about the donkeys!"

"They were a secret!"

"We stole them from a research facility!"

"We stole them from a farm!"

"We stole them from a research farm!"

"They were our donkeys and not yours!"

"You had no right to buy them ice cream, Jerry!"

"We insist you return it!"

"How dare you," one Jerry seethed.

Tutu Moonpants shredded up her newspapers right and proper... after she looked for the rune puzzles.

"We are a fan of the funnies ourselves," said one Jerry helpfully.

"Yes, yes, the one with a large dog!"

"Not the lazy cat."

"We hate that cat."

"We hope he breaks out of his little ink box and gets it!"

"It's very fat. There should be no problem at all."

"We are definitely rooting for the china dishes."

Both Jerries nodded solemnly.

"What of the cow and the spoon?" ~~Luna~~ Tutu asked.

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