fandomhigh | Entries tagged with culture shock

Hey, here was a novel change of pace, class! The Danger Shop... was not actually set up to look like a classroom this week! As a matter of fact, what students would be stepping in to find this week was something a little bit like one of those American Gladiator television shows, but... possibly a little more unhinged.

Your teachers weren't even a little bit sorry about it, either.

"Welcome to your final test," said Summer. "Between this class and actually living on this island, this shouldn't even be hard for you guys, but what lies before you is a special obstacle course designed specifically with the kind of shocking things Fandom likes to throw at you in mind. Will you ever find yourselves in a situation where overcoming this course will prove helpful? Probably not. But you can't tell me it's any less ridiculous than what this place is likely already throwing at you."

"Random kids," Kanan sighed, shaking his head. "Not complaining. Really." Kind of complaining. "But we'll be avoiding that one for this course." A pause. "And everything from the entire week before that."

Because NOPE.

Summer snorted, though, still wondering if she should have pushed a little bit harder for the 'make it through a very tight corridor filled with pollen and sexy people' part. She wouldn't have complained if she were in that class. "That's all the hints you get, though," she decided."Take a few moments, stretch up, get limber. Remember, it's just the Danger Shop, too, so the effects of anything that gets you are temporary and not even technically real."

"Which doesn't mean we're not going to make you do something exceptionally stupid if you get bitten by a fake gremlin," Kanan added, helpfully.

Because he cared.

"Which may be a good time to mention that I'm also recording all of this," Summer added, waving her phone a little, "for posterity."

Because she cared, too.

[OOC: Open!]

somethingwithturquoise

Summer Smith was a good friend. Summer Smith was a great friend, actually, because she knew what this week was, and she knew what an absolutely hopeless mess her coteacher was on a normal week, much less a week like this one. So she was more than willing to take up the gauntlet on this one, shoot Kanan a text to let him know that she had class handled this week, he could totally skip it out, and, actually, if he didn't, she was seriously going to kick his butt because no, seriously, BDG, don't even try.

She did not expect he would try in the slightest.

As it was, then, the class was only getting one of their teachers that week, the one she figured would be significantly less awkward, because Summer was still firmly in their age group and had been in their positions less than a year ago. She herself felt she hadn't managed to wedge herself into the fully-fledged adult category sometimes, so she figured if anyone on the faculty was in a unique position to not be supremely awkward about this whole thing, it was her.

The Danger Shop was set up like a classroom again, because Summer would never not find it hilarious to do that, and, come on, it's been a rough week for everyone, just give her this. And she was sitting on the desk at the front of the classroom, with her most sympathetic and understanding face on when everyone came in.

"Right, so," she said, "it's just me this week." For obvious reasons, so she wouldn't go into them. "And, by now, I'm sure you guys have mostly figured out what kind of week it is and are pretty much sick of it. Believe me, I'm with you. But the end is in sight, at least, and there's no denying that something like this whole sex pollen thing can be a pretty big cultural shock to people on this island. Sex itself has a lot of really intricate significance that can vary wildly from one culture to the next. Sometimes, it's treated really casually, practically a non-issue, while, on the other side of that, there's cultures that wrap it up in all sorts of ritual and importance and taboo. Personally, I'm of the opinion that it's a great and beautiful thing, and a lot of the stigma my culture puts on it is complete garbage intended to keep women down under the thumb of a misogynistic patriarchy," not that she had strong feelings about it, or anything, "but that's just me. Everyone's different.

"Now, if what I've said so far has already got you squirming uncomfortably in your chair, please know that that's okay, too. Everyone's got a different comfort level on this sort of thing, which is why today's class is tooootally optional. I'm sure this week has brought up some questions that some of you haven't really thought about before. Or maybe talking about it actually is a good outlet for you. Whatever it is, just know that, today's class, I'm here to help answer those questions or just to listen, because I get it. I've been where you are right now just last year, but I've also been through a lot of stuff and have had some pretty...interesting experiences," like sex with a spaceship, for example, "with this topic.

"If you're not comfortable with it, go ahead and take a day off, go find something productive to do to work off this energy. But please know that if you do have questions or anything else, this is a good safe place to let it go and maybe figure some stuff out. And believe me when I say that, even if you think it's really super weird or gross or whatever, I'm going to be...really hard to phase."

Sex with a spaceship, people.

Summer was in no place to judge.

uncertain_dume

Were your teachers not talking about the weekend? Damn right, your teachers were not talking about the weekend. As a matter of fact, today's class was entirely a testimony to just how 'not talking about the weekend' they really were!

"So," Kanan said, arms crossed over his chest as he tried not to look entirely like he wanted to crawl right out of his skin today, "no matter who you are or where you go, sometimes, things get stressful. And, whatever sort of upbringing you come from, odds are good that you were taught some way to unwind, when that's the case."

For Kanan, 'relax' was more or less synonymous with 'spend hours kneeling on hard concrete,' so they were going to be deferring to Summer's idea of relaxation today. You're welcome, class.

"And," Summer added, "not everyone's going to need the same things to unwind, but I think you'll be pretty hard pressed to find someone who doesn't enjoy a nice, relaxing day at the spa. Oh, they might tell you they don't, but, believe me, there's always a little part of them deep inside that is so totally stoked for hot rock massage or a nice pedicure.

"There's a spa here in town, obviously," she continued, "but what fun is that, when I've been to about a dozen different spas throughout my universe and can totally just whip up one of my absolute favorites in the blink of an eye! This place is, like, nestled in the remote jungle of a place whose name I can't even pronounce nestled on the top of some trees so tall that they reach all the way down into the planet's core so you know the view is spectacular. Also, the water naturally smells like whatever your favorite smell is."

There was a slight pause.

"I actually couldn't figure out how to do that with the Danger Shop, though, so you're all just getting strawberries."

"I can live with strawberries," Kanan volunteered. Because he was trying to look on the bright side of this whole 'treat yourself' experience and strawberries were great, dammit. "And... whatever else."

Hot rock massages or something something. He didn't know. He just worked here. And had possibly just spent three days as a scruffy wizard hobo, so Force knew he needed this anyway.

And that scruffy wizard hobo was about thirty percent of why Summer had suggested this. The other seventy had to do with how having a big, giant galactic goddess stick up your ass was a nightmare on your lower back.

[OOC: Open!]

somethingwithturquoise

Did….did the teachers go ahead and have the students head to the Danger Shop this week just so they could sit in a simulated version of a classroom that was nearly identical to the classrooms throughout the entire school?

Yes. Yes, they did. Summer thought it was hilarious, and she figured it would be even more so if the students wound up spending the entire class period waiting for rancors or giant floating heads or magical unicorns to burst through. Which they wouldn't.

It was a metaphor, you see, for disappointing expectations. Just like real life!

"A common question that you'll probably ask yourself a lot in school," Summer started, from where she'd perched herself cross-legged on top of the desk in front of the 'classroom', "is 'when are we ever, like, going to even use this stuff?'"

"Especially," Kanan noted, from where he was leaning back against the same desk, arms crossed over his chest, "when the school you're learning things in is this one. Not every class is exactly steeped in academia, here. Unless you figure you're going to be watching movies-" he didn't say holos, he was kinda proud of himself, "-for a living, or looking into a career modeling or..." He uncrossed his arms just to wave a hand around, vaguely. "... Going into business selling catapults made out of popsicle sticks, most of what you're picking up here probably seems pointless."

At least at the temple, he'd learned life lessons that would've been relevant to a Jedi. If, uh, if that hadn't gone right to hell on him.

"But it is possible," Summer said. "I mean, would I ever have imagined that learning how to make jello would be a key component in what I'd be doing after I graduated? Not in a million years, and yet, here we are. It's great if you already know what you're going to be doing after school; that way, you can really look at what you're learning with a critical eye and see what to take with you. But if you're anything like me at your age," Summer, you were eighteen, "you have no idea what you're going to do with your future, which puts you in a unique position to discover something really wonderful."

...like jello!

"Hell, I still don't know what I'm going to do with I grow up," Kanan quipped, grinning crookedly. Because there was no way he was talking about any of it in front of the class. Easier to make a joke of it - and of himself - than talk about evil empires, and all. "And you don't have to, either. But today we'd like you to take a look at the foundations that Fandom has given you, and look at possible future paths you can take when you go home. Think about how you can apply your experiences here to help you with your futures."

"And maybe," added Summer, "some of the things you're pretty sure you won't be needed, though you might surprise yourself. Something that seems pretty useless now might turn out to be a big help some day."

Like jello!

uncertain_dume

"So," Kanan said, maybe a touch tersely today, "sometimes, it doesn't matter how well-acclimated to a place you are, the differences will still sneak up and overwhelm you."

Not that he was speaking about any particular situation in the least. At all. Even a little bit.

Maybe a little bit.

"And that," Summer added, maybe a touch groggily today, "sometimes means that the best learning experience for those times….is a movie."

Not that she was super-tired from having to get up early and do radio because someone else was a rabbit or anything. Not at all. Not even a little bit.

Maybe a lot bit.

"Trust me," Kanan muttered, "the movie's the best possible teacher, today. Yesterday's class prep time on my end was spent bouncing between being fourteen and," blind, "a penguin."

That too.

"And that's way more than you'll be getting from me about my experiences," Summer said, smiling sweetly. "Anyway, this movie is about two Americans lost in the strange culture of Tokyo and Japan, but also in, like, life and stuff."

"Life and stuff is, indeed, a strange thing," Kanan replied, completely deadpan. "Anyway, it's my first time seeing this one, too, so try to be quiet while you pass notes or whatever."

... He'd probably just nap.

somethingwithturquoise

All the necessary notes, texts, signs and emails had gone out to alert the Culture Shock class that they would not be meeting in the Danger Shop as usual that week. Shock! Gasp! Horror! Except that that meant they had to be meeting somewhere pretty good instead, right?

It just didn't get much better than the cafeteria! Remember? Remember, kids? The school has a cafeteria?

A cafeteria with a few tables arranged in a horseshoe, with little construction paper "plaques" (Summer made them herself, she was very proud of them, and please don't mind the glitter) with everyone's name denoting their seat, along with a small, different colored flag for everyone, too. The horseshoe curved around another table, where they would find a variety of foods arranged on plastic trays with dividers. Each one had a small carton of milk in one spot, some mushy green beans and corn in another spot, a small cookie that was definitely oatmeal raisin in another, but the "main entree" spot varied by tray: one had some questionable looking meatloaf, one had just piles and piles of spaghetti with tomato sauce, one sported another stunning Summer Smith jello creation, and the fourth could offer none other than that quintessential American school lunch classic, the delicately burnt around the edges square pizza.

Summer had prepared it all whilst cackling with glee, imagining that Dr. Lecter was on the island somewhere weeping and not sure exactly why.

And Kanan... was apparently some sort of sadist, because he had gone along with it.

Hell, he'd gone out to buy the tuna.

"Government," Kanan opened with, because, let's face it, he'd been making Summer do the introduction heavy lifting for a while now (but in fairness, she knew so much more poetry than he did). "The system or group of people governing an organized community. Here on the island, we have a mayor. Other, larger levels of government might involve governors, chancellors, presidents, queens... This class, if it counts, has Summer and I, nominally in charge of the lot of you."

Which was why you occasionally had rancors or ice cream with flies on it thrown at you. Weren't you happy you took this class?

"Today," Summer said, "you are all going to be governmental representatives of your home, here at our own little Fandom High United Nations. On Earth, the United Nations is this international organization where various countries of the world get together and try to work out the world's problems. They discuss things like treaties and peace, human rights, humanitarian aid, sustainable development and maintaining international law, blah blah blah, all that good stuff, a way of different governments coming together to make their case and work toward a common solution...or at least a decent compromise."

"In this particular instance, the Fandom High United Nations needs to agree on one of the most important topics of our time," Kanan said, and then he gestured toward the foods that had been set out. "Taco Tuesdays are over, and the cafeteria needs to come up with a lunch special to replace them. One that everybody can agree on."

And they all just looked so delicious, how would they ever manage to pick just one?

Summer took a moment to explain what the options actually were, mentioning that she had extras if anyone wanted to sample for a more educated argument. "We'll go around the table and have everyone state their name, where they're from, and what option best reflects not necessarily your own personal choice, but the choice that you feel will best suit the people you're representing and try to make a good case for why. And then everyone can jump in with their own thoughts, get a good old debate going, and see if you can't manage to work out an agreement that won't leave your 'nations' in a bad spot."

"And then," Kanan added, "feel free to stick around for lunch."

He didn't know about the rest of you, but he was absolutely going to try that jello concoction.

Just to know.

uncertain_dume

"There's a well-known poem," said Summer, once the class had gathered once again in the Danger Shop and feeling super profesh for pulling out some fancy-ass quote to start with that day, "from Earth author Robert Frost, that goes something like 'Two roads diverged in a wood and I took the one less traveled by/And that has made all the difference.' Which is a cool thought and all, Mr. Frost, but what I really want to know is how it was he traveled that road."

How you like them introductions into a lesson, huh? Boom. Nailed it. Perfect segue into the lesson for her partner in chaos disguised as education.

"My guess is he was walking," Kanan noted, "which is a nice option, but a boring one. Today we're going to explore travel. From Earth's cars, bikes, airplanes, to things like speeders and ships." A pause. "Ones that fly or ones that float. People need to get from one place to another."

"And, depending on what you're used to," Summer continued, "one place's conventional method of travel could be way different than what you're used to. Like, if you're used to spaceships, an airplane might seem a little lame, and if you're used to a horse-drawn carriage, a segue is going to blow your freaking mind!"

"I've only just finally stopped calling Earth 'cute,'" Kanan confessed, "after I wound up stuck here and learned that humanity hasn't actually wandered beyond their own moon, here. And your cars have wheels? What's up with that?"

"Even our quote-unquote 'hoverboards' have wheels," said Summer, rolling her eyes a little. "That's not hovering! It's a total misnomer, and it's kind of annoying."

"In fairness, I used to drive a hoverbus that barely hovered, too," Kanan offered. Thus just cementing that whole 'bus driver guy' thing for all eternity, he was sure. "Of course Hera managed to get the thing to fly. I don't know how she does it."

Sorry, class. Kanan needed to take that momentary interlude to just be awestruck over Hera's way with the Smoothride again.

Which was super adorable, BDG, really, but they were kind of in the middle of something here. "Aaaannyway," she said, "before we totally lose this one to pilot-related schmoop, let's get this show on the road. Literally! Because you guys are going to check out and ride in and maybe even test drive a few different mode of transportation from across different galaxies and times, through the ever awesome magic of the Danger Shop."

"I'd advise you to not crash any of them," Kanan noted, "but it's the Danger Shop. If you ever really wanted to fly a ship into an asteroid or run a blurrg off a cliff, I guess now's the time to do it."

[Open!]

somethingwithturquoise

Welcome back to class, everyone! The teachers were obviously still feeling the Icelandic vibe today, as evidenced by them rocking out some nice thematic sweaters. Sweaters that one of them was significantly more excited about than the other.

Go on, guess which one. Just guess!

"Hey, everyone," Summer started brightly. "The week after a big trip is always a rough one in getting back on track and everything, but, luckily, with a class like this one, we can actually use our experiences to learn."

"Yay learning," Kanan said, in that very flat tone of voice that said that he would have been just as happy doing his teaching in, say, his usual shirt. "This week we're going to talk about our trip. No need for the danger shop today, and hey, look, I won't end up throwing rancors at you this week. You're welcome."

He kind of wished there were rancors.

But you just know Summer would have put those rancors in itchy wool sweaters. She grinned a little. "So, basically, Iceland's a different country, a different continent, a different culture. So it just makes sense to take some time and discuss what the experience was like in the context of our class, you know? So tell us your thoughts. What was something you found different or weird but you really enjoyed? Or something you found different and weird and definitely didn't enjoy?"

"I, for one, enjoyed all the nature," Kanan noted. "But could probably have coped with slightly less 'sitting on a bus.'"

Again. And again. And again. And again...

This from a guy who kind of had a reputation as the guy who drove the bus, these days.

"And I really, really enjoyed all the scenic views," Summer added, which was absolutely, one-hundred-percent her safe-for-school way of referring some nice Nordic eye candy, "but I was not so much a fan of how fish-heavy a lot of the local cuisine was."

"And I didn't mind the fish so much," Kanan noted, "but I'll eat pretty much anything."

... Except chocolate, after Valentine's day. And never. Ever. Ever again.

"So, that's it, guys," Summer shrugged. "Pretty easy, laid-back class this week, let's just share some stories and talk about our experiences with the culture of Iceland. Any volunteers to go first?"

uncertain_dume

You guys! Summer brought chocolates!

Like, a lot of chocolates.

SO many chocolates.

"Hey, everyone," she said as the class got settled. "Some of you may have noticed, today is an Earth holiday. Yes, another one. We like our holidays here. And this particular one, like most Earth holidays, is about one thing that eventually got blown up into some over-elaborate worship to capitalism and materialism. It's Valentine's Day, a holiday about showing the people you love, especially romantically, that you care about them, that has been totally usurped by companies in an effort to sell you chocolates and greeting cards, flowers and stuffed animals and jewelry. Which is why I brought you all chocolates today. Because I still have a literal butt-ton of these in stock at the store and they're all going on super-sale tomorrow anyway, so I figured you guys might like a chance to snag some."

( Please take some chocolate. )

somethingwithturquoise

When class was about to get started, in the Danger Shop again, set up to look like a small open-air auditorium, with the teachers waiting on the stage, Summer thought about offering an apology for last week's chaos, but you know what? No. It had totally been a learning experience and a pretty good culture shock (well, a shock of some sort, anyway), so she was not even going to feel a little bit bad about it. Just like she wasn't going to feel even a little bit bad about today.

( Or one particular part of it, especially. )

[[ocd is up, yo.]]

uncertain_dume

Once again, class was being held in the danger shop, and this time around, students were stepping into.... Some manner of dark forested swampland. There was a rack with assorted weaponry on it, mostly blasters or vibro-lances, sitting next to a tree nearby.

( Kanan was looking entirely too smug about this setup, class. )

[OOC: Open!]

somethingwithturquoise

Summer kiiiiiind of hated that she was about to start class with what was going to come out of her mouth in a second, because, dammit, she was leaning way harder into this whole teacher thing than she had ever expected to, but there it was. It was happening anyway. Here we go.

"Soooooo," she said, "let's do a quick show of hands. Who all had the opportunity to be all shrunken down and tiny thanks to the weird whims of our fair and lovely island this weekend?"

Summer's own hand was definitely swinging up into the air.

And there went Kanan's, too.

"And I got to ride my dog around town, so I think I'm actually coming out somewhere on the winning side of that equation," he added, smirking. "Stance was thrilled about it, anyway."

Who didn't want a giant puppy to ride around on, right?

"And I got to use my cat as a big comfy pillow," Summer offered, not to be outdone, although, really, Kanan did kind of win on that one. "Which just goes to show, pets are awesome to have, and work just as good as anything else to segue into what we'll focus on today. Because this place? Turning you into things different from what you are? Ahhhh, yeah. Definitely Fandom Culture, one-hundo-percento. And probably one of the most common, widely spread, awkwardly random thing it likes to turn people into is animals."

"The only thing more awkwardly random than turning into animals is turning back again," Kanan sighed, rolling his eyes skyward. "But we'll get to that in a moment. First, just picture yourself, maybe a little overwhelmed with the island in general, or maybe you've slipped into a state of complacency. Whatever the case might be, you probably aren't expecting what happens next, when in the middle of a conversation or as you're picking up something you don't want to drop or just when you happen to be waking up in the morning, suddenly you've got a goddamn tail."

And stupid little bird feets.

"And just think," added Summer with a grin, "how crazy that might have sounded if it weren't for the weekend proving that stranger things can happen. But at least when you're a miniature version of yourself, the height difference is really the, er….biggest challenge to face. When you're an animal, the variables are a bit different: height could still be an issue. Do you have opposable thumbs? How well can you communicate with your roommate or your friends about what's happened to you? Today, you'll get a chance to work some of that out before it totally hits you IRL."

"Isn't the Danger Shop great?" Kanan smirked a little. And then, with a clap of his hands, he absolutely looked like a dumb little space cat with twiggy little bird legs. "The room is going to assign something to you at random. So, have fun with that."

And then the next thing out of his mouth was the tiniest, most kitteny mew.

A tiny, kitteny mew that would have nearly melted Summer if she, herself, hadn't already been turned into a little red squirrel with the fluffiest tail pretty much ever. She was chittering at them, probably something important, gesturing with her little tiny squirrel paws, but whatever it was would likely end up lost in translation before those little paws did their own clapping to set off the programming to make the class less like a class and more like a zoo.

[[ocd ~~incoming~~ is up!]]

uncertain_dume

Sadly, there was no dog for the class today, but there was a pretty decent buffet spread set out for the students, because yes, the teachers were leaning pretty hard into fluff today after some heavy conversation they'd had two days ago.

Delicious and/or marginally traumatizing fluff.

"This week we figured we'd aim for something with fewer sharks," Kanan said, once it looked like everyone was settled in who would be, "and so we're leaning into things that people generally take for granted back home. Stuff they might not even realize they'll miss when they find themselves in a new place. And the easiest example of that? Something that changes vastly even from place to place on the same world, depending on the resources people have available to them? Food."

"Foooooood!" Summer stepped in with more than a little excitement. "Fun Fact! When I got here, I came from a world where sustience was provided with a government-supplied supplement of pills! So the fact that there was food here…real food...was a pretty big deal for me. And it really showed me how important something like food can be. But food from other places can be pretty weird, people might think the food you like might be weird, and it can all be a little hard to get used to sometimes."

"So today, Summer and I arranged for a meal consisting of some food you might find in my galaxy, some food you might find in her reality, and some food you might encounter here. If you want to tell the class about what the food is like back home, if there's anything about the food here that threw you, then by all means, share with us."

"It is kind of the point of the class, after all!" Summer sang in that still weirdly way-too-teacherly chirp. "So let's get started; I hope you're all hungry."

somethingwithturquoise

Once again, class was in the Danger Shop. And once again, they would be greeted by Kanan and Summer, along with one extra special guest for the day; a medium-sized dog, all happiness and rainbow spots, who was just barely managing to keep his butt planted on the floor, looking up at Kanan and hoping - hoping! - that he'd be given the go-ahead to visit each and every new person coming into the room.

Kanan was a big ol' meanie and was absolutely making Stance stay put for the time being.

"Hey again, guys," he greeted, nodding at the students gathered. "This week, we'd like to talk a little bit about positive and negative early impressions of a new place."

With handy visual guides and/or trauma, naturally.

It just sort of went without saying. Summer, meanwhile, had to shake herself back into attention once she realized that Kanan had gone and gotten class started, but, to be fair, Stance was always very distracting and he was being just so good...so good! She was going to spoil him stupid with pets and snacks when this was over! Oh, yes she was! She was! Oh, yes, she--

--right, class. "Right!" Class now, most adorable dog in the multiverse later. Summer hit the class with a bright smile. "And just as we found out last week that there's a wide variety of new places out there, there can be a wide range of reactions to those places, as well. We all come from different places, we all react to things differently, and that's okay. It's what you do with those reactions that'll end up mattering.

"So, today," she continued, "we're going to experience two...very different things, both of them something pluck straight from the good ol' classic, actual-things-that-happened-here Fandom Island playbook! A nice little burst of some homespun culture shock in handy bite-sized pieces. And then we'll sort of, you know, talk about how you reacted, how your classmates reacted, any other thoughts, things like that.

"So, without further ado, I'll pass it over to Kanan. I actually wasn't here for this first one; it was before my time, unfortunately, so this is going to be an experience for me, too." One she was clearly perhaps a bit too excited for, shut up. "You guys ready? Kanan?"

….still a little weird to call him that, TBH.

[[and the OCD is....Up! Have at it, my friends!]]

uncertain_dume

When students filed into the danger shop today, they'd find themselves stepping into a setting that most would likely be unfamiliar with. Well, slightly more than half the class would be unfamiliar with. To a point.

It was a bar. A cantina, in fact, much like the one Kanan had used for his 'Laying Low' classes in semesters before. Outside the doors, there was the darkness of night, and all around them were people from every corner of the galaxy, only a small handful of them were human. A jukebox was playing a jaunty tune featuring instruments that weren't found on Earth, and nobody seemed to notice, or care, about the students who had gathered for class today.

( Class is back here! )

[OOC: Open!]

voiceoverdue

"So, apparently when I was out of town visiting ♥Carlos♥, there was some stuff that went on here?" Cecil said. "Like, blah blah apocalypse and dirt, whatever."

If he seemed a bit sulky, well - he'd heard the other him had had tentacles.

Other him had also been stabbed and immolated to death, so Cecil was still coming out on top, here. Kanan gave him a little side-eye, and then shrugged it off. Cecil would be Cecil. Best to just roll with it, at this point.

"Dirt and fog," he noted. "So, this week, instead of giving you a test or something, we're going to take it easy. You've got two options to choose from for how you spend the rest of the class period."

"Different places have different ideas about how to handle stress," Cecil said. "Not to mention things you see that might strike you as weird. In Night Vale, we say, 'See something, say nothing, and drink to forget'. It's actually part of proper municipal behavior!"

"And where I come from, that's probably an indication that you've got some kind of problem," Kanan noted, conveniently glossing over the part where he had some kind of problem. "Especially at this time of day. And not everybody is into drinking, or even just hanging around in bars. The ambiance can get a bit overwhelming. So, if sitting on a stool listening to the sound the duct tape makes when the band needs to reattach their limbs isn't for you, we have Option B. Puppies. The shelter loaned them out. Apparently they're a little extra attention starved, since nobody was in for a few days to play with them."

For obvious reasons.

...because the puppies weren't there? That was the obvious reason here. Cecil was totally going with that.

"Or, if a puppy infestation isn't your idea of a good time, just stay inside and drink! Or I guess you could drink and then go outside for puppies, if that's your sort of thing."

"Or stay inside and don't drink," Kanan noted. "Frankly, it's your coping time, how you spend it is up to you. But, you know, I'll be out here with puppies either way. Earth dogs are ridiculous. It's kind of endearing."

"That's what they want you to think," Cecil muttered darkly.

[OOC: Caritas modded with permission!]

voiceoverdue

Another week, another class meeting at the school entrance. Though they weren't going to a movie today.

No, today was for fashion!

Cecil didn't look as happy as some people might have expected at this turn of events. Though really, it was a little hard to tell. He was still bouncing, but he was all huddled up and his face was nearly invisible behind a huge, furry scarf.

"It's cold today!" he protested.

Kanan, who was not all bundled up and was, in fact, still dressed in his usual getup, plus a long jacket he'd stolen from the Boards back around Halloween, didn't seem terribly swayed by Cecil's plight.

"And that's exactly the point. It's cold. Not everyone in the class is used to the cold, I'm sure. And I'm willing to bet at least one or two of them are going to want to be able to dress for it once the weather starts getting even worse. I know I am." He looked at the gathered students. "And that's why today, we're going on another field trip."

"We're going shopping!" Cecil said, a bit more happily. "Hurry up and let's get inside where it's warm!"

"To the Demon Marcus, where the manager will be happy to help you with any questions about the merchandise that you might have," Kanan added, gesturing down the road as they walked. "He's even offered a discount to students in our class in need of winter gear."

Because Sparkle was a goddamn bleeding heart, that's why.

And today was accompanied by a...never mind, really; the bleeding-heart metaphors were too easy. Hannibal was leaning on the counter to greet them as well. He nodded and waved to Kanan as they came in.

"I heard you were in need of winter fashion advice."

And if there was the faintest note of exasperation there, he'd only tried to convince Kanan himself to go clothes-shopping how many times?

Dammit. Now Kanan was stuck for it. If he left this building today wearing plaid, there was really nothing left to do but burn it all to the ground.

"I mean... It couldn't hurt." Really, it couldn't. Both teachers were kind of fashion lost causes. "The students might need it more. We'll take things as they come today, okay?"

Hannibal smirked. "Should any of you need advice about modern Earth fashions, or simply about what might look good on you, please feel free to ask."

Cecil breathed a sigh of relief as he unbundled himself a little. "And I'll help, too!"

Nobody take Cecil's word for fashion. Please.

Sparkle just looked faintly amused from where he was sitting behind the counter. Hey, if everyone else here wanted to do his job for him, who was he to complain?

Don't worry, Sparkle; you'd be the go-to person for younger, hipper (and/or less godawful-what-were-you-thinking) fashions. If anyone tried to walk out in too much plaid, or in pink galoshes and furry pants, you were the last line of defense.

He was truly doing the work of gods.

"So," Kanan said, glancing around the clothing store as though the fluffy sweaters were going to come to life and try to eat him, "go ahead, browse. Throw together a winter wardrobe if you need one, or just get a feel for the fashions of the season. Whatever makes you happy."

Current Location: Demon Marcus

uncertain_dume

"Hi, everybody!" Cecil waved.

Class had been ~~handwavily~~ advised to meet in front of the school today, and he made sure to count heads. "Let's make sure we come back with the same number. And the same ones," he advised Kanan.

To the class, he said excitedly, "We've got a movie day today! One of immortal film actor Lee Marvin's classics, Gone with the Wind."

Kanan had no idea who Lee Marvin was, or what Gone With the Wind was about, or even what to make of film in general. Still. He'd be just as happy going to see some cheaply made holo by some sleemo director who mostly dealt in pornography, but since this was a class trip and all, he was taking Cecil's word for it and sticking with the classics.

"Apparently around here, popcorn and soda are customary while you're watching one of these things on a big screen," he offered as they made their way to the theater, "so you each get a voucher for the snack bar to redeem on the way in. And try not to distract the other people in the audience too much during the show. They paid to be there, presumably."

Did the MST 3000 pay close attention to people coming in? Presumably not. After all, these ding-dongs were allowed to enter the building with a class in tow.

"And afterwards, we can talk about different kinds of entertainment where you're from, and how this compares," Cecil offered. "It'll probably be better, but then, everybody's got different tastes, and some of them are weird."

Truer words were never spoken.

voiceoverdue

Instead of meeting in the classroom today, the class was being redirected to the Danger Shop, which was set up today to resemble a farm. Complete with corn. A lot of corn.

... And apparently a few racing chickens. Kanan wasn't sure what their purpose was, but he hadn't tried terribly hard to program them out of this simulation, either. Presumably they added to the whole charm of the farm scenario. Kanan just shook his head a little at them before kicking into the lecture.

"Since last class we were talking about distractions, this week we figured we'd let you leap into one and get some hands-on experience," he said. "In a way that I'm assured is very... American?"

He was very not American, so he was rolling with it.

Cecil was eyeing the corn a bit dubiously. "It's really...visible." He shrugged. "But whatever. Apparently some places, that's a thing! But then they make paths in it and everything, and there's a maze! I think it's a metaphor for life or something."

"Corn as a metaphor for life," Kanan echoed, dubiously. "Why not? Anyway, there's the maze. Somewhere in the middle of the maze is pizza. Get past one, you get to dig in to the other. Pretty straightforward distraction, right?"

The kind with food. Those were often effective.

"And apple cider," Cecil added. "That's supposed to be traditional."

Whether it went with pizza was anybody's guess, but this was Cecil.

"Enjoy!"

Current Location: Danger Shop

uncertain_dume

Kanan looked only mildly disgruntled today, even in spite of the... whatever the hell it had been that had gone on over the weekend. Rain. Turning him into some kind of cyborg. Weirdness. But at least it hadn't been incriminating weirdness, this time.

He suspected that meant that he was getting used to Fandom, which was a thing that he generally took to be a sign it was time to leave. But here he was. Teaching. A class.

Because he was apparently too stupid to get the hell out of town.

( Cecil, meanwhile, was...Cecil. )

[Open!]

voiceoverdue

"Hi, everybody!" Cecil waved at them. He was dressed in an off-brand snuggie and stilts, with a plague-doctor mask perched jauntily on his head so he could still see. "Don't worry, I'm not an actual election official, I just thought it would be neat to let everybody from other places know what they look like here."

Kanan was side-eyeing Cecil from... a good distance across the room, really.

"I remain skeptical," he intoned, eyebrow raised. "But then, what would I know about elections around here? Where I'm from, anybody can be in charge, just so long as they're the Emperor."

Okay, there were smaller forms of government from there, but Kanan was also a bitter twenty-something who tried to keep his nose out of basically everything. So.

"America's different," Cecil said. "Whenever we have a city council election, the sheriff's secret police go around and collect family members, just so everybody knows to vote for the right people if they want them back. When we have a mayoral election, everybody votes, and then we interpret the loud pulses coming from Hidden Gorge to find out who the new mayor is."

Kanan was now staring long and hard at you, Cecil. Long and hard.

"... I think I'm grateful that I'm not a legal citizen," he decided, and then shook his head. "This place worries me more and more the longer I spend here."

As well it should.

"It's a perfectly valid way of choosing leaders," Cecil said. "Democracy at work!" He grinned at the students. "So we're going to have our own vote today!"

"Well, a discussion and a vote," Kanan said, still keeping a conspicuous amount of distance away from the crazy man in the off-brand snuggie. "Let's hear what government is like where you're from. How leaders are chosen, that sort of thing. And then we'll have you cast your vote on a very important topic. Chocolate, or peanut butter?"

These were the issues, people.

"And we've got some examples, just in case you need them!" Cecil said. He held up a bag and dumped it on the desk. There were chocolate bars, little packets of peanut butter, and Reese's cups.

Because sometimes you had to confuse the issue.

"Discuss, and vote!"

uncertain_dume

"So," Cecil said, "we were up a bit late because of Halloween yesterday - it's a very important holiday!" Sort of.

Also, there had been drinks at the party.

"And maybe you all were, too? So," he said, "we thought we'd just do a movie today."

Kanan had been less 'up late,' and more 'was still awake, somehow, but at least he had mostly changed out of his costume.' This was an improvement. Ignore the wide-brimmed gunslinger's hat on his head and the poncho dramatically draped over one shoulder. The sun had been in his eyes when he'd stumbled out of the Boards, and there was a chill in the air, dammit.

"Movie," he agreed. "The flatter cousin to the holo. I... have no idea what this one is about, but there was a purple tooka-looking thing on the cover and a rodent in a waistcoat, so... Weird, right?"

The movie was Alice In Wonderland, the animated Disney classic. So at least their choice was somewhat topical and appropriately weird, this week.

Plus there were flamingos.

voiceoverdue

"So... glitter monster," Kanan said, looking faintly amused as he addressed the class. "I've seen a lot of things in my lifetime, but that's a new one to me. Hell, the animal life in general around here is a new one to me. Those big alot things, the little bitey gremlin guys. Moose. And I'm pretty sure I haven't seen a single reptavian since coming here. Except on Endor, I guess."

But Endor didn't count.

"The cats here are pretty weird, too," Cecil offered. "No tentacles, and such small voices! Even if you were so cute!" he squeed at Kanan.

"Hey, now. I wasn't a cat from here," Kanan replied. "The cats here have really small mouths."

Like, really small. They probably couldn't even fit a whole human hand in there.

"Yeah, right?" Cecil shook his head. "So weird! So," he turned to the class, "what's weird about the animals here to you? What's good and what's bad? I mean, I never would have found a sweet bird like Foucault back home," he scritched the bird's head, "but yeah, the cats? Super weird."

"Though I really can't complain about the size of the insectoid life here," Kanan mused, as an afterthought. "Does Earth have anything with more than four legs that comes even halfway up to your knees?"

Thank you for that aside, Kanan. Now maybe the class could get on with the conversation.

"Oh, sure!" Cecil said. "Though I don't think I've seen any here. But there are some really big spiders and things." Or Cecil could help you derail it.

"Anyway, we probably could have gone on a nature walk or something today to let you all take in the local wildlife, but apparently alots are moody things, so we're going to just talk about the animals on the island, and then... I don't know. Play fetch with Cecil's bird."

Foucault perked up at the word "fetch" and bobbed his head a bit. Cecil grinned at him. "So, what animals have you all met, and how do they compare?"

uncertain_dume

When students came into the class today, they would find Kanan looking vaguely annoyed, side-eyeing Cecil, who he'd stuck into quarantine off in the corner.

Literally. He'd even taped off the area and everything. It wasn't anything personal, except that if Cecil got him or anybody in the class sick, he'd have to deck him. It was how Kanan showed he cared.

( Stay. Stay. )

[OOC: Open!]

voiceoverdue

"Soooo," Cecil started, grinning, "how did it go, everybody?"

Kanan, who looked a little bit as though he'd just been drunk since Sunday night (spoiler: he had), grimaced.

"We're all here? We're all in one piece?"

"Or as many pieces as you started in!" Cecil hastily interrupted. "We don't discriminate."

Kanan looked sidelong at Cecil, and then shrugged and let it be before continuing.

"Nobody got run through by anybody else's-" Mara's, "- visitors?"

There was a reason he looked like he'd been hit by a bus, after all. A bus made of hard liquor. Sure, he was sober now, but that was a temporary lapse in judgment because he had to teach today, that was all.

And because Cecil had no problems pouring you back onto the couch, Kanan, but he couldn't exactly carry you home.

"How did you all enjoy it?" Cecil asked. "How did your guests react, if you had them? Did you use the things we talked about last week to help out?"

"And how are you faring now that it's all over? Glad the island is back to normal?" A pause. "Comparatively normal? Nobody got eaten by those frog things out there, did they?"

Please hold while Kanan starts visibly counting heads. Maybe they should have started the class on that note.

uncertain_dume

"Sooooo…" Cecil started excitedly. "Parents' weekend!" He threw out his hands. "What do you think?"

"I think there are going to be a lot of nosy people coming to the island this weekend," Kanan offered, because somebody had to be the party pooper here, and apparently he had taken it upon himself as his own personal solemn duty. Or something. "Poking around people's business, asking around about whoever they're here to see..."

Somebody was just bitter that he didn't have anybody who could visit him. Don't mind Kanan.

Cecil rolled his eyes. "People visiting and checking out your teachers," he said with the perfect equanimity of someone who didn't have an office, "and your friends, and just the whole place in general. And I mean, I'm sure they mean well, right? But maybe they'll be alarmed at the open library, or the actual computers, or whatever."

"So," Kanan said, not looking terribly thrilled at the prospect of anybody's parents coming to check out the teachers, thank you, "let's talk about that. Let's talk about the things around the island that you're looking forward to showing off, if you have somebody coming. Or the things you'd rather they not see."

"And if you don't have anyone coming," Cecil said, "how do you plan on handling everybody else's someones? Hide all weekend, or be really nice, or scare them off, or what? Let's trade ideas!"

voiceoverdue

"Hello, class!" Cecil beamed at them all. "Now that we've covered a few of the immediate things, we thought we'd go back to some of the basics. Like...classes! You've all got classes, right? Otherwise you're really in the wrong place, because - well, this is a class. So, how are your classes? Like, were you home-schooled before and you have a small family, so you've never been in a group like this? Or are you more used to having normal classes like Geology, Marksmanship, and Modified Sumerian?"

"Oh, hey, I learned marksmanship too," Kanan mused. "I mean, I learned it from a Kalleran scoundrel who tried to sell me on more than one occasion, but... important life skills."

That was much easier to discuss than his education at the temple, which he wasn't going to touch on for the life of him, thanks.

"But there, that's another possibility," he added. "No formal classes at all, but practical lessons, possibly apprenticeships or internships, meant to give you hands-on experience instead of stuffing a book in your hands and telling you to read three chapters before the next lesson."

"Not that reading isn't important," Cecil said gravely. "It's just highly dangerous and best taught in a controlled environment."

Kanan side-eyed Cecil for a moment.

...

You do you, Cecil. You do you.

"Anyway," he said, shaking out of that moment and crossing his arms in front of his chest, "school here. Probably different from what you're used to back home. Let's talk about how, and what you're doing here to adjust to that change."

uncertain_dume

If Kanan seemed a little out of sorts this week... well, he was. He was doing an admirable job of not wearing it on his sleeve, but there was a sort of stiffness to his posture that wasn't normally there. His arms were folded in front of himself, and yes, he'd let the dog tag along to class today. Because having a rainbow-spotted dalmatian napping near his feet was comforting, and also, shut up.

Similarly, Cecil had a large pink osmingo with him. In his case because Foucault seemed to be a bit grumpy about having been a teenaged bird over the weekend, and didn't want to go anywhere that wasn't plastered to Cecil's side.

( So, this past weekend, many of the adults on the island turned into teenagers again )

[OOC: Open!]

voiceoverdue

"Welcome back, everybody!" Cecil said, smiling. "I hope everybody had a chance to settle in, get used to their room and maybe roommate, and just figure things out. It can be really different, getting used to strange things where you actually live, so we thought we'd start there this week!"

"For example, I've never lived with a pet around, before," Kanan said leaning back against the desk and shrugging his shoulders. And maybe eyeing Cecil. A bit. "Now I'm living with at least two. Jury's still out on whether or not Cecil counts."

That was teasing. Honest.

Cecil rolled his eyes. "I am not a pet. You were for a week there, and really, you were so cute! But mostly roommates don't count."

"Mostly," Kanan allowed, smirking. "But there are other things to get used to, too. Me, I'm used to sharing rooms, mostly in flophouses, places like that. But having a place more or less of my own is strange. Maybe that's why I don't mind having Cecil around so much."

"And I'm used to having...well, mostly my own place, so having a roommate's a bit of an adjustment, even if Kanan's super easy to room with," Cecil said. As in, he'd given up his bed.

"But there are all kinds of things you might not be used to!" he continued. "Like, when I was a student here, I was totally shocked at the lack of proper bloodstone circles in the common room, and there's not even a faceless old lady that secretly lives in the dorms! Weird, right?"

Sometimes, the looks that Kanan gave to the back of Cecil's head while he lectured were more than just a little gobsmacked. Maybe someday he'd get used to it.

Just not today.

"I mostly just have to get used to having refreshers that aren't falling apart, and a half decent kitchen. I haven't seen the dorms setup, so I really can't comment on that one, myself. But I'm sure there's plenty for all of you to adjust to, so far as that goes."

"So tell us!" Cecil said. "What sorts of things have you found weird getting used to in just living here? What can we explain that you don't know about them? How is it going so far?"

'Let's hear about dorms life," Kanan agreed, "and if you've found any tricks for adapting to them, go on, share with the class."

uncertain_dume

"Hi there!" Cecil waved at the students as they sat. "Welcome to class today. This is Culture Shock. I'm Cecil."

"And I," Kanan said, a little less enthusiastically, mostly just because it was difficult for anyone to be quite as enthusiastic as Cecil, "am Kanan. I'm also not exactly from around here, but then, I suppose it's safe to bet that neither are any of you."

Call it a hunch.

"Everybody's from someplace a little different," Cecil said. "Fandom's a really nice place, but anywhere can feel a little weird if you're not used to it. So that's what this class is about - getting used to Fandom and not getting really overwhelmed."

"If we do our jobs right, you can probably take what you learn here and apply it to wherever you end up going after Fandom, too," Kanan added. "After all, you'll hopefully be more used to the way the island works with or without our help by the end of the semester, but if you can deal with this place, you can probably learn to live just about anywhere."

"So," Cecil said, "let's start with introductions! Just tell us who you are, where you're from, the weirdest thing about Fandom so far, and...oh! What you hope to learn from us. Like, 'hi, I'm Cecil, I'm from a wonderful little town called Night Vale, the weirdest thing here is the librarians that aren't really very aggressive, and...well, the last one doesn't apply."

"And I'm Kanan. I came here from an ugly little planet called Gorse, and the weirdest thing that I've encountered around here..." Kanan paused for a moment. The honest answer here would almost certainly be something about how there were other Jedi still alive. And there was no way in hell he was giving the honest answer, thank you. "... Is probably Cecil."

He meant that in the nicest way possible. And then he clapped his hands together and kept talking before anybody could protest that one.

"So! Let's hear it from you guys. Name, something about where you came from, what's thrown you off about Fandom the most, and anything you're hoping to learn in our class. Go."

[OOC: Open!]

shiroi_tiger

Ah, finals week. The best week of the term, so far as Algren was concerned. Today was the day that he could throw whatever he felt like at the kids, call it a major assignment, and then send them on their merry way while letting them think that he actually had taken time to come up with this stuff.

He kind of had. It had taken a lot of whiskey. But that totally counted as thinking.

"I'm going to assume that the lot of you are more or less capable of surviving the shock that Fandom may or may not have brought about. After all, you've been here for a full term now without completely losing your minds. Congratulations."

He tilted his chin upward slightly, looking around the Danger Shop. "But in no time at all, there's going to be a group of entirely new students, who are going to be just as put-off by Fandom as the lot of you were. Now that you know both what it feels like and what the stages of culture shock actually are, it's time to put them to use. When you all arrived, you were assigned a big sibling, so I'm going to assume that you know more or less what their role here is."

Beside each student, a stick-man shimmered into place, frozen in a kind of two-dimensional stupor as though it was trying to figure out what to make of his surroundings.

"This is your little sibling assignment for the rest of the period. And you better believe that he's got a fair bit of adjusting to do. Get to it. And then when you're done, write me a list of challenges that this boy is bound to face during his stay here."

Well, obviously it was a boy. It had legs instead of a triangle at the bottom.

[OCD ~~coming~~ up! Have at thee!]

shiroi_tiger

Algren had left a ~~handwavey~~ note for his class to meet him out my the main campfire again. No particular reason, really. He just liked the fresh air. And possibly watching kids suffer in cloudy, sometimes soggy weather.

"In the last few classes," he said, pulling up a stump and having a seat, "we've covered the stages of culture shock, and we've discussed how they pertain to life here on Fandom Island. Today, we're going to focus less on the 'shock,' and more on the 'Fandom,' because you never know when it's going to strike."

He nodded down to a bowl he had placed nearby.

"In this bowl, there are some scraps of paper. On those scraps are written a few different afflictions that this place might hit you with at some point during your stay here. Pull out one, read it, keep it a secret. And then mingle with the rest of your class, acting out your unfortunate symptom. As your classmates guess what the matter is, you'll find yourself transformed back to normal. When that happens, take a cookie and get out of my hair."

Yes, he'd stopped by J,GoB on his way to work today and picked up some ~~moddable~~ cookies. Just so that he could excuse chasing the wee children away early. It was a lazy sort of day.

[~~Please wait for OCD!~~ Class is up! Enjoy!]

shiroi_tiger

Really, the students of Algren's Culture Shock class ought to be getting used to their teacher showing up looking disgruntled by now.

And Algren didn't even have any particular reason to be disgruntled today. He just figured that it was better to be prepared for any potential Fandom-being-Fandom moments by behaving as though he was the island's most cranky man well in advance.

"Today we're covering the last stage of culture shock. We've been amazed, confused, annoyed, frustrated, defeated, depressed, and hopelessly lost. It's about time we get around to actually coming to terms with the fact that we're here." No, he wasn't at this stage yet, himself. He wasn't planning on ever being at this stage himself if he could help it. "Reaching this stage doesn't mean that you've necessarily mastered the new culture. It simply means that you've accepted that you're here, and you're as comfortable as you're ever going to get. It's an acceptance of the fact that, though you might not understand everything, you really don't need to understand it all in order to be able to get by. You might not fall in love with your new surroundings, but you'll survive, and you know it."

He nodded at a random student in the room.

"You. Name one aspect of Fandom that you thought you were never going to overcome when you got here, that you've learned to deal with, since. For me, it would have to be the technology. I won't ever understand why everything from an oven to a toothbrush has to be electrical nowadays, but at least I've come to terms with the fact that it all seems to be."

Electrical toothbrushes. Honestly.

[OCD is ~~on the way~~ up! Have at thee!]

shiroi_tiger

When the students entered the classroom today, they might, if they weren't too distracted by their own issues, notice that their teacher looked a little more disgruntled than usual today. He also looked cold. And wet.

Somebody had realized that it would be a very good idea to take a long, cold shower before work today, yes.

"Depression," Algren began, leaping directly into the lecture and apparently thankful that today's item on the syllabus was the most mood-killing one this term, "is probably the most common and definitely the most noticeable stage of culture shock. It tends to settle in around the edges, even while you're experiencing the other symptoms, and often manifests itself as a feeling of hopelessness and longing. It seems by that point that the only way to deal with it is to leave where you're at, go back home, and forget that you ever had the insane notion to leave in the first place."

Speaking from experience? Oh, yes.

"It doesn't have to be severe. It isn't always rational or even immediately explicable. But it can do a great deal of emotional and mental damage until it's overcome. A person might opt out of leaving home in order to socialize, or even to buy food. They might start doubting everything that they do, including tasks that are still familiar to them from home, while they're in their new surroundings. Know that none of you are inferior, simply different, and that if the insanity of Fandom Island is making you doubt yourself? We're all in the same boat on this one."

Pacing? Algren? How could he not?

"I've organized a couple of handouts on coping with depression. Look at them. Keep them, in-case you're feeling it yourself in this new environment. And discuss." Pause. "Keep it clean. And if anyone mentions crocodiles to me today? Detention. For life."

Probably not for life.

[~~OCD on the way.~~ Class is up. Have at thee!]

shiroi_tiger

When the students filed into the danger shop today, they'd find themselves stepping into a wooded area that vaguely resembled the preserve. Algren was standing between two trees with his arms crossed over his chest, and a frown very apparent on his lips. He enjoyed teaching classes outside, damn it. Being in the danger shop, conveniently away from whatever the hell those creatures outside were supposed to be, hardly counted at all.

"It's good to see that you've made it here in one piece," he greeted the students with. "And if you aren't in one piece, you shouldn't be here. If your injuries are severe, grab a well-armed posse and get yourselves to the clinic. If you figure it can wait, I'll escort you there myself after class."

That out of the way, he finally began to launch into the lecture.

"And on the off-chance that you haven't noticed, Fandom Island has segued us very nicely into the 'frustration' portion of the syllabus. Just when you start to work on settling in, something inevitably crawls out of the woodwork... or out of the sewers to throw you for a loop. What do you do when you're faced with the completely unexpected while you're trying to adjust to a new environment?"

At that very moment, unnoticed by Algren, a tiny green creature made its way up to him, put a tiny green finger to his slimy green lips as he grinned at the class, and then proceeded to take a large bite out of Algren's ankle. It then gave a little, gremlinny laugh, turned, and ran away to fiddle with the Danger Shop settings.

There was a long stream of language that was in no way suitable for a teaching environment before Algren finally settled down. At about the same time, from out of the shadows behind him, a swarm of crocodiles began to emerge. They were smaller than the alligators who were lurking outside, yes, but they were still big, hungry reptiles.

Immediately, Algren dropped to his hands and knees and began to sneak up to the nearest one.

"Crikey! Would you look at the size of this croc?" Between Algren's horrid approximation of an Australian accent and the bad dangershopped khakis, this could not possibly end well.

[ETA: The alligators are tomorrow! And I am facepalming. If Y'all would be so kind as to pretend that Algren's crazy is a result of the gremlin bite and the danger shop combined, I would kinda love you all forever. Thanks! (Maybe he was bitten a first time before he came in, and he's building up an immunity?)]

shiroi_tiger

Algren wasn't even going to wait particularly long after the students gathered around the main campfire today before launching into his lecture. He was just patient that way.

"As I said in the last lesson, there are four basic stages to culture shock. Today, we'll be focusing on the 'Wonder' stage, which typically includes 'jet-lag' as well." He made a bit of a face at the phrase. It was still relatively foreign on his tongue. "I'm certain we've all gotten over the trip here. And if you haven't, I'd seriously consider looking into writing a nasty letter to whoever manages whatever method of transportation you used."

Algren allowed himself a moment to be amused at that notion. Of course, he'd gotten to Fandom via leaky rowboat. He'd also written himself many angry journal entries since.

"The Wonder stage of culture shock is really just what it sounds like. You're in a new place, be it a new town, state, country, or world, and everything seems fresh and exciting and different. You might be moving in, or you might just be passing through, but you're discovering this new place for the first time. For all intents and purposes, you're a tourist until the shiny newness wears off some."

He smirked faintly and gestured toward a box of island maps and binoculars sitting on the ground beside him.

"It's possible that you haven't managed to get this stage out of your systems yet, considering how many of you are new to the island. I'm giving you the chance to do so now. The maps are marked with points of interest that you might want to investigate on the island. The binoculars, for those of you not in the know, will make things that are far away appear closer than they actually are if you hold them to your eyes. I'm giving you the remainder of class to visit as many of the locations on that map that you care to visit."

A beat.

"And just so you don't think that this is a throwaway class and I'm giving you free reign over the rest of the period, I have a box of cameras here. You point this end at what you want to take a picture of, and you hit the button. It's apparently what modern tourists do. And it means that I get photographic evidence that you guys did your assignment today. Feel free to make the photos as touristy as you wish. Take it in. Welcome to Fandom."

[~~Please wait for OCD!~~ OCD is up! Have at thee!]

shiroi_tiger

When the students settled around the main campfire today, they might notice that their teacher was already sitting there and waiting for them, his arms crossed over his chest, dressed in an outfit that might even be considered fancy dress clothes... If you were looking for fancy dress clothes from America, 1876.

If Algren was going to teach a class about culture shock, he was going to demonstrate that he was just as susceptible to it as any of his students were, around here.

"I see a few new faces," he noted, remaining where he was seated as he surveyed the class. "Which, considering the subject material of this workshop, doesn't surprise me. Either the majority of you have found yourself in a place that's a far cry from the home you're used to, or you're looking to end up in such a place in the future, I'd wager." There was a pause, and Algren allowed himself a moment to look amused. "Or else there was a mix-up in the office. If that was the case, I won't judge. You might learn something here, regardless.

"This class, ladies and gents, is going to cover the several stages of culture shock, one week at a time. I'll do my best to base the course material around scenarios that will serve you well here in Fandom, but the goal when the workshop is through is to give you hands-on experience dealing with culture shock in a less... absurd environment, as well." He was allowed to call Fandom absurd, damn it. "Culture shock, for those of you who might not be familiar with the term, is what occurs when a person spends an extended period of time in a culture that is different from one's own. It isn't necessarily instantaneous, as the name suggests, but it can wreak havoc on a person's mental state and emotions, once that person begins to come to the realization that the behaviors that they're comfortable with won't necessarily get them the results that they expect in their new environment.

"I'm going to make today's class an easy one. Introductions. I want names, where you're from, one thing about Fandom that strikes you as oddly different from the place you call home, and one thing about where you come from that you think might come as a shock to people from the outside, starting with..." He pointed at a random student. "You."

A beat. "Oh, and I'm looking to fill in a second TA spot. If anyone happens to be interested in taking a little responsibility alongside Miss Sawyer in helping the class survive the term, please come and speak to me after we're finished our introductions."

[The TA slots are already chosen, but feel free to ping to Algren to attempt to win him over, if you'd like. Syllabus, rules, and class list are here!]

Fandom High RPG

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