Fandom High School

Hardison could barely wait for the class to come in before he started his explanation of what they were doing today. He'd been waiting for this class for awhile. "So, I dunno about y'all, but I'm a big fan of fantasy," he said. "An' one of the coolest elements of fantasy? Dragons. So today, we're makin' two kinds of dragon egg crafts: a dragon egg candle an' a dragon egg candle holder."

As per usual, the craft table was full of weird and discordant elements, from balloons to concrete to large plastic Easter egg molds to plastic dragon toys. And lots and lots of non-flammable paint.

"Now, both these projects require a little bit of waitin'," Hardison said. "The concrete is for the dragon egg candle holders, an' those take twenty-four hours to dry. I actually started one for each of you, but we're goin' over the process now, so you know how to do it in the future. The dragon egg candles incolve waitin' for the wax to dry, so my suggestion is to pour the candle base, paint the inside of your candle holder, pour the rest of the candle, finish the outside of the holder, an' then decorate the rest of the candle. That should give each element plenty of time to dry before you start the next step."

He pointed to each station, the bunson burners from the last class were still there. Next to the burners were now buckets, each one with a small sphere of concrete resting on the mouth of it. "Makin' dragon candles is easy," he explained. "You melt your crayons an' paraffin together like we did last week an' grab an Easter egg base. Put in a wick, pour your wax into the base, an' then let it harden. Once it's set, you can add a plastic dragon toy - it's an egg, right? gotta hatch somethin' - then put on the top of the Easter egg mold an' fill up the remainin' part of the mold." He poured the wax through a hole put into the tip of the plastic egg. "Feel free to use whatever colors you want on this egg - different crayons, try to swirl 'em, do whatever you like. Once the wax is set, you can carve it, paint it, or do whatever you want to make it look like the dragon egg of your dreams."

He set the candle aside and picked up a balloon, blowing it up until it was a little smaller than a volleyball. He set it into an empty bucket, leaving more than half of it protruding. "Now, for the dragon egg candle holder, I went with some cheap, quick-dry cement," he said, "with no aggregate, cause you want it to be as smooth as possible. You mix it up, put on some latex gloves, an' then just start to pour it over the balloon. You're gonna make a mess, so put somethin' down on the work surface, like butcher paper or somethin'." He smeared the concrete over the visible part of the balloon, trying to get it as even and smooth as possible, until it was entirely covered. "Make sure it's a nice, thick layer or it'll crack an' fall apart. Then you let it set for at least twenty-four hours," he explained, setting that aside and pulling out a dry one.

Yes, he'd spent a ridiculous amount of time yesterday, covering balloons in cement for you all. "Once it's dry, you can pick it up, turn it over, and give a tiny cut to the balloon so it deflates. Once you can pull the balloon free, go around the edges an' just make sure that any chunks that seem thin or fragile are worked free so they don't break off later. Once you do that..." He held up a semi-circle of gray concrete, you got yourself an egg. All you gotta do is paint it to see. You can paint it however you like, but I suggest a shiny an' metallic inside color, to reflect the candle light back to y'all. Once you've painted it and it's dried, you can place a small tealight candle inside. Or, if you use a really small plastic egg for a mold, you can put your dragon egg candle inside your dragon egg holder for egg-ception."

Okay, so this definitely blew the concept of 'dollar store' out of the water, but every class needed at least one field trip, right?

"A'ight, so most of y'all are familiar with the end results of pad printin', even if you don't know what that is," Hardison explained, leading the class into a large building. "While the concept of usin' printin' plates has been around for centuries, pad printin' has only really been around since the 60's and 70s, after we started bein' able to really understand and work with silicon. Pad printin' lets folks print on surfaces that regular plates couldn't print on: stuff with curves, textures, compound angles, all that stuff. All of that required far more complicated an' time-consuming options, like hand-paintin' or screen printin'."

They were met inside by the woman that owned the printing business and introduced them all to her before they set off on a tour. They didn't produce any materials of their own, instead, they filled orders for other people who needed objects printing, which meant the students would be able to see a wide variety of different objects getting printed.

Once again, the class came in to discover a large table covered in various weird things that didn't seem like they fit together at all. A bowl of poppy seeds sat next to a bowl of coffee grounds. Various shades of food coloring were interspersed with bottles of essential oils - though, they were from the local dollar store, so who knew how 'essential' these oils were. They were fragrant, and that's all Hardison cared about. Several boxes of kosher salt were placed next to boxes of gelatin and all of those were surrounded by plastic molds, small toys, x-acto knives for cutting, and still more empty bowls and stirrers. New to the day were several microwaves, measuring cups, and even a decent-sized chest freezer.

"Hey y'all," Hardison said, with a wave. "Welcome back, hope you enjoyed Iceland. We're right in the peak of flu season which of course, brings us back to hygiene. An' one of the most important aspects of hygiene is washin' up with soap. Which is exactly what we're gonna make today. Now, at it's core, soap is generally just lye mixed with oils and water until it's emulsified. But that's a little outside the scope of this class, as lye generally ain't sold in your average Family Dollar. But they do sell soap base, which you can cut an' melt an' then turn into other, fancier soaps."

A microwave dinged and Hardison pulled out a measuring cup full of a clear, syrupy liquid. "Soap base comes in both clear an' a milky white color; they're functionally the same, except the clear one will take your colors and keep them bright an' true, while the white will give you more pastel colors. Or you can leave 'em uncolored an' they'll dry clear or white. Once you have the melted base, you can do pretty much anything you want: add color-" he held up the food coloring, "-fragrance-" the essential oils, "-additives to make it exfoliating-" the coffee grounds and poppy seeds, "-an' then add it to molds to become a different shape. Or, you can gelatin an' a bit of salt while heating it up to make floppy, squishy soaps that are fun for kids."

He demonstrated how to use the soap base, which was fairly obvious and intuitive, and then stepped back so the students could see what moddable options there were on the table. "Go ahead an' make plenty," he said. "Share 'em with your friends. Leave 'em in the bathrooms an' common rooms. There's plenty, so be as creative as you want."

You walking germ factories.

"Sup class," Hardison said, grinning a lot as they walked in. He couldn't help it, he was pretty pleased with the days crafts. "So, today, we're gonna be real fancy. We're makin' ourselves some wax seals an' stamps to go along with it. So, you know, you can seal your envelopes an' stuff all nice. Valentine's day is comin' up, maybe you got your eye on that special someone or someones, maybe you wanna personalize your cards...or maybe you just wanna send each other Barry Plodder letters. Whatever floats your boat."

For today's class, there were multiple corks - yes, the type that usually went into wine glasses - a collection of various fake coins and other small, die-stamped items, decorative rubber stamps and ink, glitter, essential oils, crayons, glue sticks, spoons, candles, and x-acto craft knives. But oh, from these odd items could such wonders be wrought!

"So, old timey seals require two things," he explained. "Sealing wax, which is pretty much any wax that melts at a low heat and then dries firm, an' some kind of debossed item that could could raise a recognizable pattern. Debossed just means that the design goes in, not out. It's the opposite of a rubber stamp like these," he continued, holding one up. "An embossed stamp means you get the ink goes on the design, leaving you a colored image on a blank background. A debossed stamp means the ink goes around the design an' when you press it to the background, you get an image formed of negative space. A debossed seal, works by pushin' down the wax, so when you pull it away, the wax itself is embossed in your design."

He demonstrated a few times - more than was really necessary for the class, but hey. He was having fun.

"So, today, let's have some fun makin' stamps an' sealin' wax. Please don't cut or burn yourselves, a'ight?"

There were no signs of arts and crafts when the class came in, but instead a large screen and a computer broadcasting the Let's All Go To The Lobby old video. There was a box of candies, one of those old-fashioned popcorn machines, and a cooler full of sodas.

"Hey class," Hardison said cheerfully. "Didn't get a chance to go to the store, so today is a movie day."

Once everyone had gotten their snacks, he hit the play button and a movie started.

Class met at the Causeway that morning, as per a handwavy message sent the afternoon before. Hardison was standing next to a van with a Lyft sign in the window "Hey all," he said, giving them a nod. "Why don't we hop into the van and I'llexplain what we're doin'."


Once everyone was in and buckled up, the van started heading into Baltimore proper. "This is Dollar Store Arts 'n Crafts," Hardison said, "a class devoted to provin' you can still have fun an' make cool stuff without breakin' the bank on fancy supplies. I teach art sometimes an' while messin' around with oil paints an' stained glass is cool, that ain't somethin' that everyone is able to afford on their downtime. So this class is kickin' it old school. No portals, no high-end art shoppes, no supplies with multiple zeroes on 'em. We're only usin' supplies you could find at your local dollar store. Creativity don't have a price tag, y'all."

Ten minutes later, the van pulled up in front of a Dollar General and Hardison led the class out of the vehicle and into the store. "A'ight," he said. "Y'all got ten minutes to look around, grab some art supplies, an' get cashed out. Call me over when your cashier is done ringin' you up an' then get back to the van, a'ight? There's plenty of moddable stuff in here, so use your imaginations. Grab paint, pool rocks, shaving cream, discount Christmas ornaments, whatever you think you'll need to make somethin' cool today. Your time starts..." He made a show of checking his phone. "Now."