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arts & crafts

Arts & Crafts, Tuesday First Period

A sex worker and a mercenary with a skin condition were definitely just who you wanted to teach arts and crafts, right? Or at least, they were just who the school administration wanted. Lucky for you guys!

"Hi, guys," Vanessa said with a little wave. "I'm Vanessa, and this is Wade, and I think calling us Ms. Carlysle and Mr. Wilson gives us way more gravitas than we deserve." Look, she was just being honest here. "And this is Arts & Crafts! We totally forgot to buy materials, but luckily the school has plenty of glitter, and we found a bunch of spent shell casings in our apartment! So we're going to make...uh, what are we going to make?" Wade? Any ideas here?

"Art. We're making... art," he said, spreading his hands as though to illustrate the artiness if it all. "Also we should know your names. But I promise you all that I won't remember a single one of them. "

"I promise that I...will try," Vanessa said. "Wind chimes? Whatever. Just make art. And tell us your names and whatever. You know how introductions and glue sticks work." At least she hoped they did.

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Artsily

Astrid Magnussen

Sabine Wren

Theron Shan

Yang Xiao Long

Beaker

Khadgar

Such as it is.

You know the drill.

"Sabine.. Did you say shell casings?"

She'd kind of thought she was going to be taking something less... explosive.

"Spent shell casings," Deadpool corrected. "Its important to specify. You know?"

"You're not wrong," Sabine confirmed.

"Baby, baby did you hear that?" he called over to Vanessa. "A teenager didn't disagree with me!"

Why was Theron in this class again? He was pretty sure he hadn't signed up for it.

"Theron," he said, and if they'd forgotten his surname in the last three weeks, that was fine by him.

"Heron, like the majestic bird. Got it."

Sorry, Theron.

"Yes. That."

If nothing else, Theron was learning when not to argue with crazy people, which lbr, was the most valuable lesson one could take away from one of Deadpool's classes.

"Meep meep meep meep meep," Beaker began, pointing to his nametag from the picnic. "Meep meep meep meep meep meep--" slightly alarmed pointing at the shell casing and even more alarmed looks at the glue sticks, "meep meep?"

"You just Bob Ross that shit... Beaker. Beaker, huh?" One name he might remember!

"Meep meep meep," Beaker confirmed.

"Yes, yes. Fascinating." Was he going yo pretend he understood Beaker? Yep. "Do go on."

Well. This was one hell of a first workshop to have. Was it still better than making cut-and-paste collages in the editing room at the magazine for another summer?

She was pretty ambivalent about the whole matter.

"Um. I'm Astrid."

"Already doin' better than Beaker." Literally only person's name he was gonna remember.

She was doing better than the budget clown that could only make balloon snakes, said the man who seemed to think it was fine wearing red fetish gear around children.

Hooray?

Astrid honestly had nothing to say to that, just a strained smile and eyes that looked practically anywhere else.

So what are you making out of spent brass?

While encouraged by the supplies, this was not Sabine's preferred medium, and she didn't want to make something she'd toss at the end of class. So she got her sprayer out (yes, she always had it with her) and decided to see how small she could get her designs to be. Really, this was an exercise in fine skills.

Beaker was making a very trendy (and accidental) set of cartridge mittens! Because he'd glued them to his hands!

These things just happened to Beaker. Something would probably explode soon, too. It was just how he rolled.

"That's ... interesting work," Sabine said.

Art was subjective and all but she worried about this kid.

"Meep meep meep meep," Beaker said, holding his hands up.

"It's a good look." Was that what he was looking for?

It was, but would it ever come off? Beaker flapped his hands slightly frantically and the cartridges were still there.

"Oh," she realized, "are you stuck?"

She'd never realized gluing shell casings to yourself would ever be a problem for anyone.

Beaker had mad skillz.

Or terrible luck.

He nodded, holding his hands out further.

"Got it. Here, I can held," she said, reaching to try and get the shell casings off... his skin??

Also she didn't know why she felt like she should be careful. She just did.

His weirdly fuzzy skin, yeah.

One of the casings inexplicably began smoking. Beaker began meeping in alarm.

Sabine jerked back and said, "Um."

She was pretty sure shell casings wouldnt do that, even if all the tech here was weird?

"Meep meep meep meep!" Beaker said, flapping his arms and running in circles.

As you do.

"Don't run! That only makes it worse!" Did he not know how smoke and oxygen worked?

"Meep meep meep?" Beaker said.

Where was an inexplicably useful water bucket when a Muppet needed one?

"...sure, why not?" Sabine guessed. "Just stop running and waving."

And then she'd probably have to tackle him.

Beaker stopped moving, meeping quietly to himself and staring at Sabine with big, unblinking eyes.

Because that's how they were made.

"Okay," she said, and started towards him to put him out.

And that's when, with a little resigned meep, he kind of...blew up.

When the smoke cleared he was fine excpept for a slight bit of charring around the hair and edges of his lab coat. And his nametag was completely unreadable.

"I did not do that," Sabine said, because her explosions were much prettier.

Beaker patted out any smoking parts left and meeped to explain that this happened to him all the time, just a price to pay for science and terrible luck.

Astrid took a moment to consider the casing, the glue, the glitter...

Well, she certainly wouldn't be making something for her mother today, but she did have an idea.

"Does anyone have a hammer?" she asked, which she felt might not actually be that far-fetched of a question with everyone here.

They're here.

La.

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Arts & Crafts, Tuesday First Period

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During the Lecture

Introductions!

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Make Art!

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Talk to Your Teachers

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