fandomhigh | Entries tagged with bards

Instead of the Danger Shop, today class was out the front of the school, where there was totally snow, don't @ us.

"We were going to have a movie day, but change of plans," Cara said cheerfully. Perhaps too cheerfully.

"Why would anyone want to watch a log burning?" Jaskier asked for possibly the tenth time just this hour.

Cara shrugged. "You'd think if they cared that much, they'd just start an actual fire."

That seemed legit.

Jaskier rallied, clapping his hands together. "As such, our lovely other teacher suggested a snow ball fight."

"In case you've never been in one before, it's simple enough," Cara said. Then she threw a snowball at Jaskier. Hard.

Which immediately caused him to fall the ground with a yelp. He was a delicate flower, people!

So very fragile. "Usually, it's more of a two way affair," she added dryly.

wrongkindofsith

The tavern wasn't the relaxing atmosphere that it was last week, no. Instead it was back to normal. Or normal adjacent.

With a crowd.

"This week we shall discuss the very important topic of knowing the audience that you're playing for so you don't get run out of town."

"Since murderous mobs tend to be bad for your health," Cara added dryly.

Jaskier nodded a bit too frantically for that to have just been a hypothetical scenario for him. "So! First is to know the class of people you are singing for. Then the current political climate."

"For example, sex and violence are usually crowd pleasers, but sometimes the people in charge a real killjoys. Literally."

"The current level of inebriation also factors in," Jaskier added with a more thoughtful nod.

Cara smirked. "Better hope they're not mean drunks."

ohvalleyofpenis

The inn was back and decidedly, incongruously, festive, with brightly coloured floral wreaths draped about the place and little paper umbrellas in the tankards.

"The life of an aspiring bard can be stressful and a lot of hard work," Jaskier began. "Which is why relaxation and learning to unwind can be very important to keep creative juices flowing."

"Though you're probably going to want something harder than juice if you want to really relax," Cara added. "Pleasant company doesn't hurt either."

"Some people enjoy the beauty of nature, some people prefer to get lost in the bustle of a city, " Jaskier said. "So, today is to discover what you enjoy most for relaxing."

"Within the bounds of what's 'appropriate' for class." Which ruled out most of Cara's favourite options.

wrongkindofsith

This class the bar was missing! Oh noes.

And it looked like dark clouds were rolling in! Oh noooooooes!*

But thankfully for everyone involved, the outdoors space was still the Danger Shop. Mostly Jaskier who was a delicate flower after not traveling for so long.

"The world can be unpredictable while you travel," he said. "And a bard does not always have the funds for a plush bed at an inn."

"Or any bed at all if he's an especially bad one," Cara added with a meaningful pause. "Which means sleeping rough."

"Camping," Jaskier corrected to soften the sound of it. "Just you..." Lightning cracked the sky. "...and the elements..." A wolf howled in the distance. "...and nature."

The nature was the best part! If you were a weirdo like Cara who liked the idea of fighting wolves in the rain.

"Hope you remembered to pack a blanket." Because Cara was picky about who she shared with.

"So, let's see what we can get together," Jaskier said, using the power of positive thinking to carry on.

-
* does not pay Anakin.

ohvalleyofpenis

Jaskier was not a delicate flower today. Well, not literally. Cara seemed almost disappointed.

"Well, things have returned to normal for me!" Jaskier said even if he was still a little twitchy about it. "Which means no movie day here."

Oh god, he had the lute again.

He was much more pleasant to be around when he didn't have opposable thumbs. "Instead we're going to talk money," Cara said before he could burst into song or something. "And how much you won't make as a bard.'"

"Cruelly put, but honest," Jaskier admitted. "The life of a musician is a hard one without a patron or savings to fall back upon. So, let us take this as a chance to give you forewarning on the subject matter."

"Otherwise you may be forced to eat your lute." Odd how Cara could make that sound like a threat.

"...that is a possibility," Jaskier said slowly. "But instead, let's discuss ways to keep your musical dream alive... on a budget."

Spoiler, many of these ways involved work in the service industry.

wrongkindofsith

A far too cheerful Cara stood at the front of class with a potted buttercup that looked sad and wilted as if it had been shoved out on Cara's balcony to get some sun then forgotten about for several days. Because it had.

"The island happened to Jaskier," she announced, gesturing at the pot plant, which probably explained the good mood. "To celebrate we're going to have a movie day. it's even about music."

ohvalleyofpenis

Today, the classroom was filled with dogs. Just filled with adorable little puppers.

"So, the programming provided this when we inputted an audience," Jaskier said, patting one on the head.

Cara was not patting a dog. Shut up, you were. "Luckily for you, they're easy to please."

"Which is good practice with an audience!" Jaskier added, turning this right around. "So, we'll be doing our best to keep them all entertained lest they turn on you in a horrific fashion."

"Extra credit if you can train them to turn on Jaskier only." Cara, no.

Oh, the indignant squawk she got out of that!

wrongkindofsith

"Welcome back, welcome back!" Jaskier was ready for class, lute in hand. Because he was always excited for sharing the wonder of his craft.

Cara, on the other hand...

Hey! Cara was also very proud of her craft. Her violent, violent craft. "Today we're going to be talking about making people pay you." Since she was a good example who didn't bring her banned weapons to class you'd just have to imagine her significantly thumping an agiel against her palm.

"Tips!" Jaskier said, producing a ridiculous looking hat. "Because one can play to their hearts content, but that won't feed you at the end of the day."

"Unless you're persuasive." Another significant pause.

"Direct, friendly eye contact is a good method of guiltily people into tipping. Alcohol helps loosen the purse strings as well," Jaskier continued, worried this would turn into someone getting injured. Mostly him.

Cara abandoned subtlety and chose violence. "There's also violence."

"Or that," Jaskier granted. "How about we practice a bit?"

Yes, woo NPCakin into giving you cash.

Or just threaten to break his kneecaps, you know which Cara would approve of.

wrongkindofsith

Class was back in that tavern that seemed to just be stuck in the programming for either Cara or Jaskier. Hard to tell which. But at least it was familiar.

"So, we've dealt with conflict with song last week, but there are a myriad of other ways to avoid conflict," Jaskier said.

"Most of them are even effective," Cara said dryly. "Shocking, I know."

"She kids!" Did she?

She didn't. "And that's important because unknowingly using ineffective protection is worse than none at all."

"Protection is very important," Jaskier agreed immediately. "In general. Lest you lose body parts."

"Or worse," Cara said, letting them use their imagination for what could be worse than losing body parts. "You could be left with regrets for the rest of your life."

Jaskier nodded solemnly at that. "So, let's try to write a song on the matter!"

Cara did not sigh, but she radiated big sigh energy.

wrongkindofsith

Well, Jaskier was still... whatever was going on with him. Which involved him looking at Cara thoughtfully and asking, "Do you want to kiss me?"

He was going to be turned into a toad by Yennifer and squished by Cara.

"No." Cara was attempting to set an example for the children. Possibly a violent one. "No one here wants to kiss you."

Jaskier took that as his queue to go sit down for his talking head interview for the show. "Maybe I'm just not kissable. Is it the accent?"

The suddenly aggressive Boston accent. As he'd always grown up there and not anywhere else.

"It's not. It's you." All of you, Jaskier. "As you should know by now, I'm Cara and he's crazy, and since he's the one who changed our class subject, we're all in trouble."

He'd be mostly normal next week at least!

"Excuse me, I'm trying to do an interview here!"

Maybe... maybe just go with introductions.

"You know the drill," Cara said. "Name, class, and why you thought learning to be like him was a good idea."

ohvalleyofpenis

Class was back in the trusty, reliable tavern, complete with numerous heavy wooden instruments. No reason. Ignore how anxious Jaskier looked about them all.

"Welcome to the last class of the session," Jaskier said, putting on a brave face. "It has been a pleasure to have you all even if our time was cut short at first."

"Probably because our time was cut short." Be nice, Cara. "But you've all performed adequately." Pun possibly intended.

"So, today, for our last day, our lovely Cara decided to pick what we were going to do." Could you tell how nervous that made Jaskier? Could you?

And she hadn't even prepared a bonfire this time. Cara was feeling so attacked right now. No actually, that would be the NPC she'd just smacked across the face with a handy lute.

"Bar brawl!"

Jaskier shamelessly yelped and dived under a table to hide his pretty, pretty face from harm.

ohvalleyofpenis

"The classroom wasn't set up for a nap for a change! But, in the teachers' defense, things tended to conspire against them in being able to get anything done this session.

Which might have been planned by Cara.

"Welcome back, welcome back," Jaskier said, heedless of this terrible potential crime.

Cara wasn't admitting to anything, and today the island couldn't make her. "It has been brought to my attention that there is one bardic skill it's imperative that we cover."

"Seduction," Jaskier filled in with aplomb. "My very first experience on this island was being kidnapped by this horrid goat man who kept us all in a volcano. But did I let that stop me? No. I had a plan and I seduced that goat man to escape."

Did it actually work that way? Ehhhh.

"I thought that was the pirate with the bad moustache?" Oh, look, was that a strangled noise coming from Adora in the back? Maybe.

"He was there too," Jaskier assured her. "It was a group effort."

"Right." Cara sounded extremely dubious. "You don't have to incorporate singing in your seduction efforts."

"But it helps," Jaskier said brightly, fiddling with the controls to get various NPC seduction targets to appear in the danger shop. Oddly, they all ended up just being NPCakin in different outfits.

Sexy outfits.

Cara still wasn't admitting to anything, but she did look very pleased with herself.

wrongkindofsith

The Danger Shop looked like someone had recently murdered Alot of pillows...which, let's face it, was a real possibility.

And one of the teachers was definitely buried under that pile by the other. Hence the muffled, "Uh, Cara?"

"Being well rested is important." Cara placed another pillow on the pile. "Lack of sleep does strange things to people."

"I don't think this is a fort anymore," came that muffled voice again.

A blanket went over the pillows. "Hush, nap time."

ohvalleyofpenis

Class today was, well, class was lower energy than usual for Jaskier at the very least. Because someone had their beauty sleep interrupted.

"We had a whole class planned," he complained around a large yawn.

Cara looked surprisingly chipper. Because Jaskier's suffering gave her life. "But we had to change it...sadly."

Well that was just rude.

"So, it's a movie day," Jaskier said, trying to get the DVD out if the case a couple times before making a pitiful face and holding it out for Cara. He was tiiiiiiired.

By now, Cara was an old hand at opening DVD cases and she pushed the disc into the player.

Which let Jaskier go settle in with a pillow. "Enjoy the songs of ABBA," he mumbled mostly into that pillow.

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Entries tagged with bards

Bardic Inspiration 2: the Bardening, Thursday, Period 2

Bardic Inspiration 2: the Bardening, Thursday, Period 2

Bardic Inspiration 2: the Bardening, Thursday, Period 2

Bardic Inspiration 2: the Bardening, Thursday, Period 2

Bardic Inspiration 2: the Bardening, Thursday, Period 2

Bardic Inspiration 2: the Bardening, Thursday, Period 2

Bardic Inspiration 2: the Bardening, Thursday, Period 2

Bardic Inspiration 2: the Bardening, Thursday, Period 2

Bardic Inspiration 2: the Bardening, Thursday, Period 2

Bardic Inspiration 2: the Bardening, Thursday, Period 2

Bardic Inspiration - 5th Period - Thursday

Bardic Inspiration - 5th Period - Thursday

Bardic Inspiration - 5th Period - Thursday

Bardic Inspiration - 5th Period - Thursday

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