fandomhigh | Entries tagged with hostile world

The class met in the Danger Shop this last time. It was set up as a giant chamber full of consoles and controls and screens and a giant window from which you could see the stars all around.

And then there was a desk, behind which Atton was sitting with his feet propped up on it because, duh, of course.

"Hey," he said. "I figure most of you deserve a passing grade just because this island hasn't killed you yet. And most of you were pretty good last week. You wanna shoot for the stars and get higher than passing, you can try and get off this space station. You don't, you can go home right now."

Beat.

"I'll buy free pizza for anyone who kills off the mistletoe while they're at it."

suitably_heroic

"So this is the last week of basic survival training. You're welcome," Atton began.

He held up a backpack. "I had you fill these last week," he said. "Hope you got all the basics: a knife, for weapons, cutting rope, cutting bandages, firestarters, the works. Rope, which is useful in all kinds of situations. Warm clothing. A water bottle or two, and something to filter water with. Signalling equipment, like a signal mirror or a flash light. A first aid kid. Something to make a shelter with, like a tarp. And, of course, a compass."

He set a compass down on the table in front of him.

"There are all kinds of techy ways to determine where you're going, but they might suddenly fitz out on you. So it's best to bring something that doesn't need power. The old-fashioned compass does just that. I know most of you have forgotten what maps are, but between a compass and a map, you can get out of almost any situation."

He walked through the class, passing out handouts. "I'm talking a real compass and a real map, not some crap you picked up in a souvenir store," he added. "Read this. Memorize it."

After everyone had a handout, backpacks full of supplies followed. "There's a point 600 meters northwest of here you need to reach," he said. "Free pizza and/or glitter bows for anybody who gets there. And a pass on half your exam this semester. Go."

suitably_heroic

"Part of getting by is knowing how to come prepared," Atton began. "A war's starting. The end of the world may or may not be coming. You're on a team going on a suicide mission. If you don't come with handy super powers out of the bag, how do you prepare yourself?"

He held up a bag. "And you're only human, so there's only so much you can pack," he said. He waved at the table in front of him: it held water bottles, rations, guns (sans ammo), mines, grenades, and a whole host of other ~~moddable~~ gadgets that were either weaponry or survival gear-related. "I want you to take a bag and fill it up with everything you think you would need if you were off to fight the bad guy, as you are now. Then walk us through what you got and why."

suitably_heroic

"Today, we're going people watching," Atton said.

In the Danger Shop, yes.

And that was all he said, yes.

He sat down on a bench and watched people pass on by.

suitably_heroic

"So hey, congratulations, you've lived so far," Atton said. "Now, we've covered how to get food out in the wild before--"

If you called throwing them into the wilds and saying 'figure it out' counted.

"--but water? Also important. More important, actually. Most humanoids can go three weeks without food, but just three days without water. Now any water you find out in the wild still runs a risk of being contaminated, but dealing with it is pretty straightforward. There's gear you can take with you to help: straws that filter the water, special canteens, or even pumps you can use. The filters will take out most of the contaminants, though if you want to absolutely avoid getting a water-borne illness off of it, you'll also want to boil the water, or add chemicals like iodine, sodium chlorite, or potassium permanganate. The latter is usually sold as a water softener at hardware stores, so not hard to get."

He wrote the names of all of these chemicals up on the board. They were important. Learn them, kids.

"If you don't have any of that, that's where it gets interesting," he said. "If you leave something with water in it out in the sun, and you cover it with plastic, the sun will convert the water to steam, and when it hits the plastic, it'll condense back into water. This is vital to know if you want to get drinking water and you don't have any filters or pumps on you."

He pressed a button, and the Danger Shop rolled out behind them, providing a large plain of earth under a scorching sun.

He squatted down by a small hole in the ground. "This is called a solar still," he said. "Well, it isn't yet, but it will be one. You dig out a v- or box-shaped hole in the ground. You put a container in it, like a bowl or a mug." He produced a small bowl and set it down in the center. "Now most soil contains some moisture. You might have to dig for a while to hit the deeper ground that retains more of it, but still, it's in there. You can also get more condensation going if you toss in some leaves or other plants."

He picked up a roll of plastic he'd taken with him. "This is your plastic," he said. "Now, I think you guys already know where I'm going with this--" He stretched the plastic out over the hole, cut off the necessary part from the roll, and then started scooping up mud and putting it down to pin the plastic down. "You'll want to make sure you get a good seal," he said. "Make sure it isn't in the shade, and then just let it do its thing for a while."

He stood back up. "A still like this won't get you enough water to last you for weeks, or anything," he said, "But it'll help you survive a few days longer. Another, better alternative is if there's trees around. Same effect, easier to do. You just put a plastic bag around a branch full of leaves and let the sun do its work. When you come back, you should have about a cup of water. You'll need a couple of these to last the day."

He cleared the mud off his hands.

"All right, I want you all to grab some plastic and a bowl and get to work. There's some trees around here somewhere, too, but you'll have to look for 'em. The sim is set to speed up, so you should have something to show for your work at the end of the class. Go."

suitably_heroic

"Today, I want you all to take five bucks and use it to buy enough food to last you three days," Atton said.

They were sitting in a normal classroom. He had a stack of five dollar notes sitting in front of him.

"Bring it back here, we'll check it out, that's it."

Beat.

"Go."

suitably_heroic

Atton met them all at the Danger Shop, wasting absolutely no time. "Suit up," he called. "It's gonna be cold as soon as you cross that threshold over there. You've got 45 minutes until the sun sets, and you need something to eat. Your job is going to be to find some. I'd suggest shooting something and cooking it, but hey, you can try other ways if you want to. Once you have your food, you're going to want to get somewhere warm."

Beat.

"That's it. Good luck."

suitably_heroic

"Okay, so today I want to talk to you about fear," Atton said. He helpfully wrote the word on the whiteboard. "Fear's a reaction most sentients feel in the face of threats, whatever those threats might be. It can be a help, and it can be a hinderance, and it can be deadly."

"When you're afraid, your body dumps a ton of hormones into your body," he continued. "Exactly what these do is different for everyone, but generally speaking, they increase your heartrate, up your blood pressure and your blood sugar, start pumping more blood into your major muscles while drawing it from the smaller arteries so you have less of a chance of bleeding to death, and you stop digesting. You also lose depth perception and get tunnel vision, while at the same time, time seems to slow so your reaction time goes up."

He wrote down each point as he spoke it aloud, clearly expecting everyone to write it down.

Then he turned back to the class. "Most of that doesn't sound so bad, does it? Except, y'know, if you get too much of it, your judgement gets impaired, you lose fine motor skills and your body temperature goes all over the place. You might even freeze up and lose the ability to respond entirely. Not a great deal, so it's good to think about how to handle your fear before it's suddenly too late and you can't do anything about it."

He put down the marker. "You don't want it to go away entirely, because it's an important tool to get you moving or fighting or whatever it is you need to do to survive. But you also need to be able to keep a cool head to get out of that situation, or you'll do something stupidly impulsive."

He sat down on his desk. "I'm a member of the Jedi Order. Most of the Jedi put a lot of stock in mantras. In fact, the catchy Jedi Code is all about mastering those kinds of sudden-onset emotions. There is no emotion, there is peace; there is no ignorance, there is knowledge; there is no passion, there is serenity; blahblahblah there is no death, there is the Force. It's nice and useful if you at the very least believe in the Force, but probably a little less useful for the rest of you. The general idea isn't bad, though. Repeating certain phrases to yourself over and over again can help you get control over your mind, and thus the situation. But that can be anything. You could be cursing your grandmother for all I care, just make sure it's something that works."

"Plan ahead. Make sure you have tools on you that don't require fine motor skills that you can yank out at any time to lob someone on the head, or hack your way out. Having a few lies prepared is also useful, if it's all about talking your way out. Another option is breathing exercises - kinda goes with the mantra thing. Keep control over your breathing, you start getting more control over yourself."

Theoretically.

"At the end of the day, though, the most important thing you can do to cope with fear is figuring out how you function," Atton said. "Now I'm pretty sure the school would give me hell if I threw you into a situation where you had a legitimate reason to fear, so I'm not going to do that. But we're going to talk about it. Think about situations where you got scared. How'd that feel? How did you react? That kinda thing. Do you make mountains out of mole hills easily? You'll have to work on that. Don't know how to deal with the fine motor skills thing? Work on it. Figure out mantras, breathing exercises. Go."

suitably_heroic

There was no teacher in class this go-around.

Just a sign that said Gotta go see a guy about a thing.

In a small bowl in front of the sign laid five dollars in small change.

Don't ask why.

[[ bad day. open for reactions ]]

suitably_heroic

"We've had a few classes by now about appearances and what you can do with them," Atton said easily, leaning against a desk in the Danger Shop as soon as everyone had filed in. "But they were pretty one-size-fits-all, right? And that while it's a lot easier for a young girl to get away with stealing something than a shifty-looking guy. So today we're going to talk about first impressions and how to use them."

"Sure, local culture goes on a lot about how appearances shouldn't matter, but they do, and once you know what impression you give off to everyone else, you can start to use it. Control it. It can help you find work, it can help you get out of sticky situations, it can even save your life," Atton continued.

He gestured at himself. He was wearing a white blouse, a brown jacket with a few nearly impossible-seeming triangle shapes in it, long gloves without holes for his fingers, and a belt over his nondescript black pants. His hair was pretty disshelved, and his clothes looked like they hadn't been washed in a while. "So what impression do I give you guys?" he asked. "Tell me that. Then look at one of your classmates. Write down a few words, then give the note to me. I'll pass on the cards after, though any cards that are insulting go right in the trash."

He looked at the students. "After that," he said. "Well, we're in the Danger Shop, so we might as well make use of it. I found a dress-up program somewhere in the systems that you guys get to use. Poke around. Find an outfit that either pushes the impression you give off to the point where people won't want to pay you any attention, or find one that gives off the absolute opposite impression of who you are. Experiment a little. Show off to your classmates. Go."

suitably_heroic

"Sometimes, dealing with forces more powerful than you can be as simple as playing on the weaknesses most beings share," Atton said. "Like how most people are easily distracted. For all that we like to talk and talk about what great multitaskers we are, most species aren't actually very good at paying attention to more than one thing at once."

He sat down on his desk.

"And that's how pickpockets line their pockets," he said. "You'd be surprised how easily you can distract people from one thing by presenting them with something more immediate and familiar. And no, this isn't me encouraging you all to start stealing everything in sight - though if you are hungry and out of money, feel free - but sometimes, it can be really useful to be able to shortcut the high and mighty and grab something you might need."

"Some pickpockets work in teams: you usually have a stall and a pick. The stall makes sure the mark stops, like by bumping into them-- but only somewhere where it makes sense for them to do that. Like a train car, or a crowded hallway, or a large public hall, stuff like that. Then as the mark suddenly comes to a stop, it makes sense for the pick to 'accidentally' bump into them and lift their wallet. The mark's still fixated on the stall; they won't focus on the pick until the deed has already been done. Sometimes the stall will do something else, like drop some coins, or otherwise get the mark to kneel down so the pick can do his work."

He nodded at the simulated train car in front of them. "But you can also easily work alone in an environment like that," he said. "Hide your hands under a newspaper or something, and accidentally brush past someone-- that touch is usually so expected and normal, people don't question it. Some pickpockets like to actually draw attention to people's money, like by shouting that there's a pickpocket around--" He smirked. A little. "--so people will pat the places they have their valuables, making it easier to find them. If you're a woman, or a particularly attractive guy, fish, whatever, you can also try the old 'I'm drunk and affectionate' act.

He shrugged.

"No matter what, the trick is misdirection," he said. "Which is something you have to practice. So-- half of you are going to be pickpockets today, and the other half are going to be marks. You can team up or go it alone, I don't care. Practice this stuff. If you're successful, swap roles."

He pointed at a table full of wallets. "Marks? Get your crap."

suitably_heroic

A sheet of paper sat on every desk today; otherwise, the classroom was normal.

"So hey, we've got a lot of normal people in class this go around," Atton said easily, "That's good. Feels like I can actually offer you something useful. Most of you probably can't punch a hole into a wall or anything like that, which means you've got to be crafty. See, most types of people with powers - or just plain power - they think they're a smidgen more invincible than you are. They're wrong."

He waved a hand. "And when I'm talking about people with powers, I'm also talking about me. I'm what my universe likes to refer to as a 'Jedi Knight'. Beyond blah blah religious stuff and eat all your vegetables, what Jedi are famous for is having a connection to the universe that lets us do all kinds of weird stuff. One of the things we can do is read people's emotions, and sometimes even their thoughts. Most Jedi stack shield upon shield to make sure they don't do that all over the place, because it's really not as much fun as it sounds."

He gestured at his head.

"But some stuff always slips through, even in the most well-trained Jedi." Which wasn't something Atton could call himself, though years of experience had shaved off the edges compared to the last time he'd held this speech in front of a class. "This island hasn't been a stranger to people with similar mental powers, either. Some of them have more control than that, some of them less."

He pulled a face. "I don't know about you, but I don't like people poking around my head, which is why I try to avoid doing it from the other end. I mean, not that I'm philosophically opposed to being a hypocrite, I just think it's tacky. What the point is, is that before I got any of these magic powers, I taught myself techniques to keep people out of my head." He nodded at the paper on the nearest desk. "It's not as hard as it seems. You just have to be smart about it. See, most telepaths don't actually want to hear your thoughts. You're teenagers, it's probably full of filth. Lean into that. Walk into a room with a telepath with nothing in your head other than the fact you think you hear something whistling in the next room, and nothing in your heart but the thought that the telepath is looking pretty good in that skirt."

He waved a paper of his own around. "It's easy, because the basic idea is easy. It's hard, because it's easy to slip into thinking 'I have to think this or she'll know', and then hey, she knows. So I want you to practice today. Write down every inconsequential detail you can find in this class. Every emotion you could be feeling about something in this class, too. Then see where your head's at."

suitably_heroic

"Hey, kids."

That was Atton, leaning casually against the wall at the back of the Danger Shop. "Welcome to Introductions Part 2: Rolling With The Punches."

He waved at two doors at the end of the wall. "Go."

suitably_heroic

"Welcome to Weaseling 101," Atton announced as the class finished filtering into the room. "Better known on your schedule as How To Get By In A Hostile World. Now, I'm going to be honest with you people: I'm a Jedi. I have fancy powers and officially, some disembodied Force has my back all around the galaxy. But before I was a Jedi, I was just another idiot caught in the middle of bigger forces than me, trying to scrape by."

He leaned onto the desk. "My world has a habit of going to war with itself, and the only way I made it through the first decade or so of being on my own was by thinking on my feet," he said. "Exploring the weaknesses of people stronger than me, figuring out how to squeak by unnoticed, that kind of thing."

He considered the class. "I've been a soldier," he said, "I've been a pilot. I've been an assassin. I got to be all of those things and live because I learned a whole bag of tricks: how to cheat at cards, how to talk my way out of a sticky situation, how to work my way around people trying to use their powers on me. These are the skills that are invaluable as long as you don't have special powers of your own to keep you alive, and I'm here to share some of them."

Atton nodded at a random student. "Talk to me," he said. "Who are you? What situation are you facing? What are you hoping to get out of this class? That kind of thing. Introductions are useful here, because a technique is only helpful if it's tailored to your actual situation."

suitably_heroic

The class met in the Danger Shop this last time. It was set up as a giant chamber full of consoles and controls and screens and a giant window from which you could see the stars all around.

And then there was a desk, behind which Atton was sitting with his feet propped up on it because, duh, of course.

"Hey," he said. "I figure most of you deserve a passing grade just because this island hasn't killed you yet. You wanna shoot for the stars and get higher than passing, you can try and get off this space station. You don't, you can go home right now."

Beat.

"I'll buy free pizza for anyone who kills off the mistletoe while they're at it."

suitably_heroic

"All right, so last week, you guys did some shopping."

Whoever guessed what this week's class was gonna be about got a no-prize, because look at the kitchen Atton'd simulated.

"This week, you get to see if you can actually stretch that stuff four days."

He gestured at the kitchen. "What are you waiting for? Get cooking."

suitably_heroic

There was no teacher today.

There was just a screen, several $5 notes on the table, and a Danger Shop simulation of a large store.

"Hey," said the image of Atton that sprung to live on the screen, "Can't make it today, busy getting shot at. Your job right here is to use those five bucks to do enough groceries to feed yourself for four days. Yeah, that's also part of what this course covers, and no, that's not a real five dollar bill, don't bother stealing it."

Beat.

"That's it. Show your purchases to the scanner at the back of the class when you're done, I'll get back to it next week." Beat. "Provided I'm not dead by then."

Click.

suitably_heroic

Atton had gotten to the gym about an hour early: you could tell, because he'd built a small fortress out of his baggage, with all the words strategically pointing in a direction where they weren't visible. "So we all have baggage," he said, "Obviously. Sometimes baggage gets in the way. Ignore your baggage. That's easiest."

And totally healthy!

"We could do some soul-searching here about how to keep our metaphorical baggage from getting in the way of our life's ambitions, and y'know, if you want to grab one of those mattressy things over there and do that, be my guest."

He eyed the class dryly. "Or you can use everything in the gym to beat the shit out of your actual baggage. Or something. I promise I'm not going to read anything, and neither should you."

That was it, apparently.

suitably_heroic

"Okay, so today I want to talk to you about something a little more passive than lying. Fear," Atton said. He helpfully wrote the word on the whiteboard. "More passive in one way, anyway. Fear's a reaction most sentients feel in the face of threats, whatever those threats might be. It can be a help, and it can be a hinderance, and it can be deadly."

"When you're afraid, your body dumps a ton of hormones into your body," he said. "Exactly what these do is different for everyone, but generally speaking, they increase your heartrate, up your blood pressure and your blood sugar, start pumping more blood into your major muscles while drawing it from the smaller arteries so you have less of a chance of bleeding to death, and you stop digesting. You also lose depth perception and get tunnel vision, while at the same time, time seems to slow so your reaction time goes up."

He shrugged. "Most of that doesn't sound so bad, does it? Except, y'know, if you get too much of it, your judgement gets impaired, you lose fine motor skills and your body temperature goes all over the place. You might even freeze up and lose the ability to respond entirely. So figuring out how to channel your fear is a major life skill that might actually keep you from getting, I don't know, mauled by a Rancor or something."

He put down the marker. "There are different ways to handle your fear. You don't want it to go away entirely, because it's an important tool to get you moving or fighting or whatever it is you need to do to survive. But you also need to be able to keep a cool head to get out of that situation, or you'll do something stupidly impulsive."

He sat down on his desk. "I'm a member of the Jedi Order. Most of the Jedi put a lot of stock in mantras. In fact, the catchy Jedi Code is all about mastering those kinds of sudden-onset emotions. There is no emotion, there is peace; there is no ignorance, there is knowledge; there is no passion, there is serenity; there is no chaos, there is harmony; there is no death, there is the Force. It's nice and useful if you at the very least believe in the Force, but probably a little less useful for the rest of you. The general idea isn't bad, though. Repeating certain phrases to yourself over and over again can help you get control over your mind, and thus the situation. But that can be anything. I once knew a guy who'd just repeat curses to himself over and over again, worked like a charm every time."

"What also tends to help is planning in advance. Make sure you have tools on you that don't require fine motor skills that you can yank out at any time to lob someone on the head, or hack your way out. Having a few lies prepared is also useful, if it's all about talking your way out. Another option is breathing exercises - kinda goes with the mantra thing. Keep control over your breathing, you start getting more control over yourself."

Not that that had ever been Atton's thing, but hey, it could work.

"At the end of the day, though, the most important thing you can do to cope with fear is figuring out how you function," Atton said. "Now I'm pretty sure the school would give me hell if I threw you into a situation where you had a legitimate reason to fear, so I'm not going to do that. But we're going to talk about it. Think about situations where you got scared. How'd that feel? How did you react? That kinda thing. Do you make mountains out of mole hills easily? You'll have to work on that. Don't know how to deal with the fine motor skills thing? Work on it. Figure out mantras, breathing exercises. Go."

suitably_heroic

"'Appearances are often deceiving'," Atton said. "That's one of those proverbs that seems to crop up everywhere, no matter what galaxy you're from. It's true, of course, but it's one of those things that despite repetition, most people don't really internalize."

He was sitting on the desk. They were in a regular classroom. Those were probably good signs for you today, kids.

"Which means it's something you can use," he said, hopping up on the desk. "It's kind of like the telepathy exercise we did a few weeks back: you want to distract the person that you're talking to in such a way that they don't get at some vital piece of information about you. Sex appeal helps, sure--" He eyed Isabela, "--but it can also be unwelcome, because it makes you stick out in the crowd. Usually it's best to go for something people will underestimate, or won't want to associate with. Be gross, but not too gross-- a regular amount of gross as expected of someone with your gender presentation. If part of you is able to tap into the vapid teenage girl thing, do that. Drop hints that you're shallow. Maybe act like you have a drinking habit you don't actually have."

Not that Atton knew anything about that one, or anything.

"Why is this important? Because we're in a class about dealing with big hitters when you're smaller," he said. "Like I said in an earlier class, the best way to even the odds is to mess with the other guy's head, because that's usually the part that isn't superpowered. Or super-popular, whatever your issues are. Get them to underestimate them. Keep them from asking too many questions. And then when you put a knife in their back, they won't see it coming at all."

Cough. Seriously. No experience with this whatsoever.

"'Course, this won't work if you're trying to play up something that isn't you at all," he continued. "If you're naturally confident about your sex appeal, stretch that out into lechery. If you're naturally cautious, make it look like cowardice. If you're brash, make it sound like you're reckless. Easily annoyed? Suddenly you're losing your shit over every tiny thing."

NO EXPERIENCE. WHATSOEVER.

"Now, I want you all to pair up and talk about your class schedules. Except the last thing you want to do is let the other person know your actual class schedule. The catch: you can't lie in response to a direct question. Find a way to convince the other person it's something other than it is by misdirection and playing things up. Then at the end of the class, I want everyone to tell the class what they've learned about their partner."

suitably_heroic

"Sometimes, dealing with forces more powerful than you can be as simple as playing on the weaknesses most beings share," Atton said. "Like how most people are easily distracted. For all that we like to talk and talk about what great multitaskers we are, most species aren't actually very good at paying attention to more than one thing at once."

He sat down on his desk.

"And that's how pickpockets line their pockets," he said. "You'd be surprised how easily you can distract people from one thing by presenting them with something more immediate and familiar. And no, this isn't me encouraging you all to start stealing everything in sight - though if you are hungry and out of money, feel free - but sometimes, it can be really useful to be able to shortcut the high and mighty and grab something you might need."

"Some pickpockets work in teams: you usually have a stall and a pick. The stall makes sure the mark stops, like by bumping into them-- but only somewhere where it makes sense for them to do that. Like a train car, or a crowded hallway, or a large public hall, stuff like that. Then as the mark suddenly comes to a stop, it makes sense for the pick to 'accidentally' bump into them and lift their wallet. The mark's still fixated on the stall; they won't focus on the pick until the deed has already been done. Sometimes the stall will do something else, like drop some coins, or otherwise get the mark to kneel down so the pick can do his work."

He nodded at the simulated train car in front of them. "But you can also easily work alone in an environment like that," he said. "Hide your hands under a newspaper or something, and accidentally brush past someone-- that touch is usually so expected and normal, people don't question it. Some pickpockets like to actually draw attention to people's money, like by shouting that there's a pickpocket around--" He smirked. A little. "--so people will pat the places they have their valuables, making it easier to find them. If you're a woman, or a particularly attractive guy, fish, whatever, you can also try the old 'I'm drunk and affectionate' act.

He shrugged.

"No matter what, the trick is misdirection," he said. "Which is something you have to practice. So-- half of you are going to be pickpockets today, and the other half are going to be marks. You can team up or go it alone, I don't care. Practice this stuff. If you're successful, swap roles."

He pointed at a table full of wallets. "Marks? Get your crap."

suitably_heroic

"Hey, class," Atton greeted lightly. "Welcome back to the world of the not-giant-murder-lizards. Now, last week went perfectly smoothly, for which I'm grateful. But what if it hadn't?"

He gestured at the jungle in the Danger Shop behind him.

"Somewhere in these woods are four giant dino-dragons," he said. (He knew perfectly well what the right word was. He just wasn't using it.) "They want to eat you. Some of the areas have fences, but you can only get in those if you find the right computer terminal to open up the doors and sneak in. There's some buildings; you'll find weapons in there, too. Which you're going to need, because all you're getting from me--"

He slapped some tasers down on the table and finished, "Is this."

He nodded at the class. "Your purpose is to either escape the sim to somewhere behind the fences, or kill all the dino-whatsits. Your call."

And with that, he hit a button. Music began to play.

Darkness fell.

suitably_heroic

"Last year, I ran a basic survival class," Atton began. "See, 'hostile world' can mean a lot of things. Not just urban or social crap. So. Today, I'm putting you out there, and you're going to have to survive for an hour in an unforgiving climate."

He pointed at a table full of outfits. "Suit up," he called. "It's gonna be cold as soon as you cross that threshold over there. You've got 45 minutes until the sun sets, and you need something to eat. Your job is going to be to find some. I'd suggest shooting something and cooking it, but hey, you can try other ways if you want to. Once you have your food, you're going to want to get somewhere warm."

He clapped his hands. "Go."

suitably_heroic

A sheet of paper sat on every desk today; otherwise, the classroom was normal.

"So," Atton said, "I'm what my universe likes to refer to as a 'Jedi Knight'. Beyond blah blah religious stuff ugh that's the least fun part, what Jedi are famous for is having a connection to the universe that lets us do all kinds of weird stuff. One of the things we can do is read people's emotions, and sometimes even their thoughts. Most Jedi stack shield upon shield to make sure they don't do that all over the place, because it's really not as much fun as it sounds."

He gestured at his head.

"But some stuff always slips through, even in the most well-trained Jedi." Which wasn't him. A couple of months with an actual Jedi didn't really prepare you for this stuff the way years of training did, though Mical and Anakin had helped. "Now, this island has known people with similar mental powers. Some of them have more control than that, some of them less. Back when I hadn't been trained in my powers yet, I thought of this as kind of a pain in the ass. Like, who wants a stranger poking around their head, right?"

He pulled a face. "Actually, I still think of that as a pain in the ass, which is why I try to avoid doing it from the other end. Harder than it looks, though. What the point is, is that I taught myself techniques to keep people out of my head. It's both easier and harder than you might think." He nodded at the paper on the nearest desk. "What you need to do is fool people. Take advantage of the fact they usually don't really want to be in your head. And the way you do that is with detail. Pointless detail. You want to walk into a room with a telepath with nothing in your head other than the fact you think you hear something whistling in the next room, and nothing in your heart but the thought that the telepath is looking pretty good in that skirt."

Not thinking of any telepath in particular. Really. "It's easy, because the principle is easy. It's hard, because it's easy to slip into thinking 'I have to think this or she'll know', and then hey, she knows. So I want you to practice today. Write down every inconsequential detail you can find in this class. Every emotion you could be feeling about something in this class, too. Then see where your head's at."

suitably_heroic

"Sometimes, hostility isn't so much about people trying to kill you, or set you on fire," Atton said. He was sitting at the back of the class, surrounded by large plastic bags. "But about people being terrible to you. Sometimes on a regular basis. When people do this for nothing other than the fact that you're different than they are, we tend to call that bullying. I'm just going to start off right now by saying that if you've ever been bullied for something in your life, that's on them, not on you. There's nothing wrong with you the way that you are."

He cleared his throat. He had to, to get all the rainbows and puppies out of there. Ugh.

"There's a couple of methods to deal with bullies. First and most importantly is to remain proud of yourself, and to be willing to talk back. Think about the worst things they could say to you, and how to neutralize them. Remind yourself that they don't matter, and you do, and they're petty little brats who'll get what's coming to them." There. No more rainbows and puppies! "It's also usually recommended to take this to an authority figure, so they can step in and help you out. Don't retreat. Just get backup. And if you can't talk to the people around you--"

He patted a sheet next to him.

"There's numbers you can call."

He looked at the class.

"Okay, that's the official version," he said. "Me, personally, I like to fight dirty. Somebody thinks they can pick a fight with you because they think you're smaller or weirder than they are, you start applying some guerilla warfare. Which at your age, we tend to call pranks."

He patted the plastic bags next to him. "Now, pranks can be cathartic and fun and really great if you're the spiteful kind. For instance, earlier this year, I boobytrapped professor Skywalker's office so it rained down glitter on him from all over. Glitterbombing is basically the perfect prank, because it doesn't hurt anyone, but I'll tell you, Skywalker was still picking the stuff out of his cloak a month later."

"These," he added, beaming, "Are bags full of the stuff. They're not hard to get around here. Now, I'm not saying you should use them, but I do think it's very important you all sit down today and think about someone who deserves a good glitter bombing, and how you'd go about it. And if you want to take a sample, hey, that's what they're here for."

He was helping!

suitably_heroic

"All right, so last year, this class tended to focus on the smaller things," Atton began. "But based on your introductions, I'm going to shake it up a little. So welcome to 'how to deal with things - or yourself - being set on fire'."

There was a long beat.

"If you're ever tempted to set anything on fire, no matter how upset, bedraggled, screwed-over or otherwise horrible you feel, do not set anything on fire. I cannot say this enough. Okay? Do not set anything on fire."

Okay? Okay.

( On fire. )

And with that, Atton stopped talking. Studied the class. Pursed his lips.

Then added, "And just to emphasize this one last time, because it's important, never set anything on fire, ever, ever, ever." Beat. "Unless you're planning to eat it. But even then I wouldn't risk it."

suitably_heroic

"Last year, when I ran this class, I stretched out introductions over two classes," Atton said. "At the time, it was a practical decision--" because he was pissed over getting water randomly dumped on his head, "--but I don't see a reason not to continue the tradition. See, there's a difference between what we say, and what we can actually do. One that most of you are probably familiar with, unless one of you has reality warping powers I don't know about."

He gave the class a quick once-over, because actually, that was entirely possible.

"...Okay," he said. "Anyway, we have a flight sim, and we have an on the ground kind of deal. Pick whichever you're more comfortable with, and go."

suitably_heroic

To look at Atton, you'd have trouble telling he'd actually gotten a lot better in the year since he last ran this class: he looked every bit as bedraggled and hungover as he felt. Still, much like last year, he had eventually managed to drag himself out of bed, and now he was standing here, eyeing over the class.

"...Welcome to We-- I mean, How To Get By In A Hostile World," he drawled. "My name is Atton Rand, I used to go to school here, so don't think I don't know what I'm talking about. Okay. If you're in this class, it's probably because you're from somewhere terrifying where you're not exactly on top of the food chain. That may mean being an unpowered person in a world full of near-gods, or somebody who has powers but not exactly the kind that'll shake the world, or maybe you're just some poor schmuck living at the bottom end trying to get by."

Beat.

"Of course, if you're just here to show off how special you are, you can get out. Now."

Another beat. He waited for anyone to get up.

"...Okay, good. Anyway, I have powers now, but I didn't use to - or at least I didn't have the training so I might as well not have had them. Growing up, there was war all around us, and the people who actually had the powers to stop it decided to sit at home and twiddle their thumbs because the situation was quote-unquote 'complicated'. I've seen worlds burn and friends die."

He took a deep breath. He needed it to keep playing casual. "The only way I made it through the first decade or so of being on my own was by thinking on my feet," he said. "Exploring the weaknesses of people stronger than me, figuring out how to squeak by unnoticed, that kind of thing. So that's the stuff we'll be covering."

Atton nodded at a random student. "Talk to me," he said. "Who are you? What situation are you facing? What are you hoping to get out of this class? That kind of thing. Introductions are useful here, because a technique is only helpful if it's tailored to your actual situation." After a pause of contemplation, he added, "...And I'm looking for a TA, so volunteer if you want. Go."

suitably_heroic

The class met in the Danger Shop this last time. It was set up as a giant chamber full of consoles and controls and screens and a giant window from which you could see the stars all around.

And then there was a desk, behind which Atton was sitting with his feet propped up on it because, duh, of course.

"Hey," he said. "I figure most of you deserve a passing grade just because this island hasn't killed you yet. You wanna shoot for the stars and get higher than passing, you can try and get off this space station. You don't, you can go home right now."

Beat.

"Except for you, Sparks." He threw a box onto the desk. "Pizza."

suitably_heroic

"When I was younger, it was made clear to me that I couldn't handle every situation with a blaster or with my wits, fantastic as those might be," Atton said. He looked much better this week. A miracle what actual sleep and relaxation could do, right? "I needed to learn hand-to-hand, so I could defend myself if it was up close and personal. Because if there's one thing you can rely on, it's that some time or another, it's going to get up close and personal. And not in the good way."

He shrugged. "Anyway, I got instruction in the Echani martial arts. Now, the Echani are pretty special: They're a culture based around hand-to-hand combat. The Echani feel that the only way to truly know a person is through combat-- that it's a perfect form of expression, a ritual. But mastering that kind of art takes years - a lifetime. It's not really something I can teach you in a single class, though who knows, I might actually lose my mind some day and try to teach some."

Yeah, probably not. Echani was... it was something.

"But you are probably going to wind up in a situation where hand-to-hand is a useful thing to know, and while I might not be able to teach you anything big to stick right now, I can give you a few pointers. One, try to intimidate your opponent first. Shove 'em around, yell, make it clear you're not an easy target. Only if that doesn't work are you going to want to try and give the guy a beating."

He'd brought a practice dummy into class for just this reason, because now he could point at stuff. Like the face. "Couple of prime targets if you just want to get in enough of a punch so you can get out," he said. "The eyes, the nose and the neck are great if you're in someone's face and your hand's your best bet. Try to poke or scratch at those eyes, or fold your hand like this--"

He brought up the heel of his hand and smashed it into the front of the dummy's face. "...and break the guy's nose. If that's not really possible, flatten your hand, fold in your thumb, and hit him horizontally on the neck as hard as you can. That can stun a person." He stepped away. "Finally, there's the knees. Kick a guy in the front of the knee, and it's going to hurt, but kick a guy in the side of the knee--" as he was now demonstrating, "...and that knee is gonna fold and he'll be kissing the pavement."

He turned back towards the class. "Now, if you want to do the most damage in the shortest space of time, use your elbows, your knees, or in a pinch..." He pointed at his forehead. "The head. That's where most of the bones are, so that's what's going to hit the hardest. 'Course, the best choice would be to grab a pipe or something and use that, but that's not always going to be an option. Keep in mind you're always going to throw your weight into it, though."

He rolled his shoulders. "Okay, now I'm gonna show you a couple of things," he said, "When I'm done, you get to try them out on each other. If you already know how to fight, go easy on your fellow students. I don't want any actual broken bones, here. That'd just look terrible on my record."

suitably_heroic

"Last week, we talked about fear," Atton said. "This week, we'll talk about some other stuff that can mess with your head."

He'd already been sitting on his desk when they came in. His eyes were a little glassy, and his face and posture made it clear he... might have been doing something this past week that involved not getting a lot of sleep.

"Sleep deprivation, cold, these are things you're going to deal with if you wind up stranded somewhere with no way to a roof over your head," he said. "Sleep deprivation dulls your reaction time and slows your thinking. Keep going long enough, and you get yourself dead. The same goes for cold - it makes you clumsy, causes you to make bad decisions, leaves you dizzy and eventually knocks you unconscious."

He shrugged. "There's a couple of ways to deal with both of these problems. Can't get enough sleep? Sometimes getting a dose of sunlight will remind your body it's supposed to be awake. Be selective in what you eat - protein'll do you a lot more good than sugar. If you can't get a nap, there's also some physical exercises that simulate rest. Actually, any activity is good. So is water. Any of these measures can keep you awake until you find somewhere you can sleep safely."

"As for the cold, well, that depends on how bad the situation is. If you just wandered into a cold situation, you're going to want to insulate. Wearing layers is usually more useful than wearing one big warm thing, unless that warm thing is a friendly bear or something. And when you're dressing up for the cold, for the love of the Force, keep your hands and feet and head warm. All your body heat tends to stick close to your chest, so those are the first parts that are going to freeze and fall off."

Just... take a moment to picture that. Please. He'd done his best describing it and everything.

"Oh, and water. Actually, that's generally a good advice. Drink a ton of water."

And wear sunscreen.

He ran his hand through his hair... mostly because the gesture allowed him to cling to consciousness. Not that he'd admit that. "'Course, if you're far enough along that hypothermia strikes - and you'll be able to tell by the memory loss and confusion, except, I guess, if you forget about this class - there's some other stuff you need to know. Like not taking off wet clothes unless you actually have some damned dry clothes to replace them with, because the only thing worse than being cold and wet is being cold and wet and naked."

Not that he had any personal experience with that.

"You're going to want to drink something warm to keep your body temperature up. Don't start heating your hands in front of a fire first or anything, because that just shoves all that cold blood right back into your body." Atton eyed the class. "Which also means that if you're trying to help someone with hypothermia, don't massage them unless you want them dead. Seriously, don't do that."

He took a deep breath. "Okay, I've got some sleep deprivation exercise for you guys if you want it," he said. "Otherwise, take notes or go take a nap, whichever."

Could class be over so he could get a nap? That'd be great.

suitably_heroic

"Okay, so today I want to talk to you about something a little more passive than lying. Fear," Atton said. He helpfully wrote the word on the whiteboard. "More passive in one way, anyway. Fear's a reaction most sentients feel in the face of threats, whatever those threats might be. It can be a help, and it can be a hinderance, and it can be deadly."

"When you're afraid, your body dumps a ton of hormones into your body," he said. "Exactly what these do is different for everyone, but generally speaking, they increase your heartrate, up your blood pressure and your blood sugar, start pumping more blood into your major muscles while drawing it from the smaller arteries so you have less of a chance of bleeding to death, and you stop digesting. You also lose depth perception and get tunnel vision, while at the same time, time seems to slow so your reaction time goes up."

He shrugged. "Most of that doesn't sound so bad, does it? Except, y'know, if you get too much of it, your judgement gets impaired, you lose fine motor skills and your body temperature goes all over the place. You might even freeze up and lose the ability to respond entirely. So figuring out how to channel your fear is a major life skill that might actually keep you from getting, I don't know, mauled by a Rancor or something."

He put down the marker. "There are different ways to handle your fear. You don't want it to go away entirely, because it's an important tool to get you moving or fighting or whatever it is you need to do to survive. But you also need to be able to keep a cool head to get out of that situation, or you'll do something stupidly impulsive."

He sat down on his desk. "The Jedi, which I'm... loosely affiliated with, they put a lot of stock in mantras. In fact, the catchy Jedi Code is all about mastering those kinds of sudden-onset emotions. There is no emotion, there is peace; there is no ignorance, there is knowledge; there is no passion, there is serenity; there is no chaos, there is harmony; there is no death, there is the Force. It's nice and useful if you at the very least believe in the Force, but probably a little less useful for the rest of you. The general idea isn't bad, though. Repeating certain phrases to yourself over and over again can help you get control over your mind, and thus the situation. But that can be anything. I once knew a guy who'd just repeat curses to himself over and over again, worked like a charm every time."

"What also tends to help is planning in advance. Make sure you have tools on you that don't require fine motor skills that you can yank out at any time to lob someone on the head, or hack your way out. Having a few lies prepared is also useful, if it's all about talking your way out. Another option is breathing exercises - kinda goes with the mantra thing. Keep control over your breathing, you start getting more control over yourself."

Not that that had ever been Atton's thing, but hey, it could work.

"At the end of the day, though, the most important thing you can do to cope with fear is figuring out how you function," Atton said. "Now I'm pretty sure the school would give me hell if I threw you into a situation where you had a legitimate reason to fear, so I'm not going to do that. But we're going to talk about it. Think about situations where you got scared. How'd that feel? How did you react? That kinda thing. Do you make mountains out of mole hills easily? You'll have to work on that. Don't know how to deal with the fine motor skills thing? Work on it. Figure out mantras, breathing exercises. Go."

suitably_heroic

"We've been talking about lying a lot," Atton said, "and yet we haven't really been talking about it. Which is a good thing, on one level, because usually the less you think about how you're lying, the more convincing you are." He shrugged. "That being said, there's different brands of the lie. They're all useful in different kinds of situations, but usually there's only a couple of them you can actually pull off. Depending on how you work."

He sat down on the desk again because, well, that was his spot.

"Let's start with one everyone's pulled off at some point. White lies," he said. "That's what you use when, for example, you want to get out of a party. 'No, I'm feeling sick, I'm staying in.' Or maybe you don't want to offend someone who's wearing a taun-taun head for a hat, so you tell 'em it looks good. Most people can pull off white lies. They're little, uh, life hacks, to make your life more comfortable. As long as you don't overindulge in those, well, no harm, no foul."

Not that he had ever particularly cared about harm or foul when he was lying, but hey. "Similar to white lies, but with a whole lot more potential impact, is the lie of omission. That's probably the most useful tool you have when you really don't want to talk about something - just don't mention it as a thing, and no one will think to ask about it. Come from a homeworld involved in a civil war you might have gotten your hands dirty on? Well, no one at Fandom knows about that world, so you either don't mention it, or mention the world's name and then move on. No one thinks to ask about your role in the war, because they don't even know there was a war."

"The good thing about lies of omission is that they keep you from getting yourself stuck in a web of increasingly more outrageous lies that make it easier and easier to figure out you're lying," he said. "Of course, on the other hand, that could be your strategy: make sure you lie so painfully obviously without giving a damn, switching from one to the other, so nobody knows what to make of you."

"There's a middle ground, of course. There's a whole range of middle ground. You can lie by exaggeration, which usually works unless there's someone else around who also witnessed what you're lying about. You can take the omission to the next level by dropping clues about yourself without saying anything outright, so people get the wrong impression. Or you can even just make promises you don't intend on keeping, but don't intend to be around not to keep."

He clapped his hands. "So. What different types of lying do you know of? What are you capable of? What's morally okay and what's not, since I hear some people care about that kind of thing?"

Joking. Sort of. Maybe?

"Talk."

suitably_heroic

"So if there's anything I found out in our first class, it's that a lot of you are really terrible liars," Atton said. "Well, not really terrible; if you were really terrible, I'd have figured out the exact truth without trying. But you're bad enough to make any sentient with half a brain go 'I'm pretty sure you're hiding something', which is about the deadliest sentence in the galaxy."

He sat down on his desk. It was kind of his thing.

"We've already talked about making your first impressions work for you - that's one kind of actually effective lying. Let people believe what they want to believe anyway, maybe feed the fire a little bit, and you'll slip under everyone's radar. Which, when you have a secret, is pretty much all you really need."

He shrugged. "Well, unless your thing is making up really weird lies and then people just stare at you." Not that he knew anyone like that. Sparkle. "But your best bet is to come up with something you can actually make yourself believe in."

"Anyway, this week, you're going to try and lie to your fellow students," he said. "We're taking a page from Ethics class and playing two truths and a lie. You tell the class two things about you that are true, while you lie about the one thing. If you're smart, you use the truths to hide the lie. Don't bring up anything you don't want everyone else to find out about as a lie, by the way, because that's just asking for trouble."

Atton crossed his arms, finally. "My name is Atton Rand, I was orphaned when I was about your age, and I was born on the most peaceful planet in the galaxy. There, that's mine. Now let's hear yours."

suitably_heroic

There were streaks of dirt and just a bit of oil on Atton's face as he arrived to the Danger Shop. See, he'd come straight here from Dantooine, and space, for the first time in years he really craved a shower, but: no time. He'd been tempted to host class at the Enclave instead, maybe get some work done, but 1) portals were expensive and 2) he didn't want to give Mical the satisfaction of seeing him encourage young people into public service or whatever. (Didn't they have a class for that already anyway?)

So instead, class. Danger Shop. Set up as a shop class, for the most part, though one side of the class looked more... traditional... than the other.

"Okay, we're going to start working our way back to the original premise of the class," Atton said, clearing his throat. "So. As a non- or lesser-powered person living in a multiverse full of people with crazy powers, the best tools you can have at your disposal are... well, as many tools as you can learn how to master. That can be figuring out how to feed yourself, but it can also mean knowing how to do all the technical stuff. Have you ever watched a grown super-powered being break his head over replacing a light bulb? I have."

It had been terribly stupid. Sadly, not Mical, or he could've held that over the guy's head, too.

"Today we're getting a little practical in two different ways. On the one hand--" he pointed to the more futuristic-looking part of the class, where consoles had been set up, "--hacking. You have no idea how often that can come in handy. And you don't really need to be an expert or anything - you just need to figure out the basics. Who knows, you, too, could one day wind up on a creepy space station full of homicidal robots with an angry old super-powered lady and her super-powered lady friend who runs around in her underwear, and then you'll need this."

That was kind of specific, Atton.

"Behind door two, we're going to be working with electrical poodoo. This is the Danger Shop, so you can't actually electrocute yourself, but please don't anyway. These lamps over here?" He pointed over there helpfully. "The wiring inside right now will probably set fire to your house, if it doesn't overload the generator and blow that up instead. Find the right wires and use them to replace the old wiring. If you need help..."

He helpfully put a giant stack of handouts at the desk. "These are the wiring handouts."

He put down another stack. "And that's the hacking. Sparkle, I see you've finally managed to cough up your hairball, go hand all of these out." Being an asshole showed that he cared about your absence. In Atton logic, anyway. "Get cracking."

suitably_heroic

"Okay, one, you don't have a TA today, because your TA is a lazy ass who thinks he can get out of doing his job by turning into a hairy, yappy animal at the drop of a hat," Atton said. Shut up, ragging on people was how he showed he cared. Or didn't care. Or... anything. Okay, ragging on people was just kind of how he lived, but the only person in the class who knew that was currently a hairy, yappy animal, so whatever. Not like he missed his TA, or anything. Really. "And two, I don't want to make this class about Fandom too much - you've had classes like that before and you don't need them. But this one might be important, so pay attention."

He spread out his arms as the Danger Shop around them gave way to a realistic simulation of Fandom itself. "Welcome to Fandom," he said. "Home to idiots, never-do-wells, and the occasional horde of angry monsters trying to kill everyone. Now, I assume most of you are in my class because you're not the kind of people who can go around slicing things in two, which is where today's lesson comes in."

He pointed at the dorms behind them. "Rule number one, the monsters usually stay out of the dorms. Don't ask me why, maybe we have special doors or something. Keep in mind that this is usually, so don't go relying on it - check the building, see if it's safe. Ideal circumstances? You hunker down in that building and you wait for the whole thing to blow over, which it usually does."

"Rule number two, if you do have to leave, bring back up." He grabbed a marker and wrote down his number on a nearby sign. "This is my number. Do not call my number unless you think you're going to be in danger, or I'm going to come to your room and smack you on the head. But it's there if you need it." Ugh, being a good person and everything. "Rule number three, don't rely on the causeway being open at a time like this. It has a nasty habit of jamming right when you need it the most. Try boats or spacecraft, maybe that'll work, and either way they won't end with you stuck at the end of a road to nowhere while the big things with the teeth close on in."

Atton eyed each of them in turn. "Finally, rule number four," he said, "Know your island. You want to get to the causeway? There's three major ways in - through Apocalypse Ave, through Griffin Way, and Thunderbird Lane into Griffin Way. Thunderbird Lane is the smallest of these entrances, Apocalypse Ave is the biggest. Griffin Way is one straight line right into the causeway, which is going to make it a really bad choice unless your bad guys are the type of people who prefer lurking in shadows. Apocalypse Ave would be your second worst choice in that case, because it's wide, meaning that it can fill up real fast."

He reached over and snagged a stack of papers. "Because my TA is, again, a lazy asshole, I'm going to be handing out these maps to you guys. Study them. Think about ways to get where you might want to get in multiple kinds of situation - is the enemy flying, is it big, is it dumb, does it like to fight in numbers, does it like to strike from the shadows. All of these options require different strategies. And think about what you can do. Do you know parkour? Are you big or strong enough to rush an enemy blocking the way? That kind of thing."

Beat.

"Or preferably, just think about how nice and cosy the dorms are when everything else is turning into the next big war out there."

Once all the maps were handed out, he rolled his shoulders and spoke one last time. "Okay, you get twenty minutes to fan out, think about this stuff and see what's feasible," he said. "Then we release the, uh..." He squinted at the piece of paper he'd gotten.

Look, shut up, this was why he didn't like to use other people's old simulations. "...Alligators who shoot zombie goldfish? What does that even mean?"

He shook his head. "Uh, you try and tackle that in the way that makes the most sense. Work together if you can. Don't try anything you can't physically pull off, that's the easiest way to get dead."

suitably_heroic

"As some of you might have noticed last week," Atton said, "Fandom weird has a habit of following people around no matter where they are. My TA - also known as the guy with the dumb hair over there - thought maybe it was a good idea to spend some time strategizing how to deal with that. I mean, on a school trip, nobody's going to care because you won't see them again anyway, but if you're going to normal Earth college after this or whatever, it'll be a pain in the ass."

Coincidentally, he was teaching this in one of the normal classrooms this morning. Thinking ahead, and everything.

He walked up to the board and wrote down PROBLEM | SOLUTION.

"Sure, you could come up with stuff on the spot and handle it as it comes," he said, "But hey, sometimes it's easier if you plan these things out in advance. Take genderswap, for example."

He dutifully jotted down genderswap, then pulled a face. "...Okay, Sparks, you handle the writing from here on in." He tossed the marker in Sparkle's general direction. There. That was solved. "Genderswap," he repeated. "Also known as the process of the island turning you into another gender than the one you're accustomed to. Now, sure, you can lock yourself up in your room for the day, but that's a pain in the ass. There are, however, a couple of ways you can set things up so this is easier when the time comes."

"If you're going to college after this, it's probably the easiest," he added. "Just tell everyone you have a sibling people rarely see, if ever. Or a cousin, if you're worried your family is gonna show up and muddle things up. Another option, if you're comfortable with that, is just convincing everyone that every once in a while you like to mess with the way you present yourself. Or say you have a booty call. Or... well, the list goes on. Plant these seeds before the day comes, and you'll save yourself a whole lot of stupid on-the-spot lying you haven't actually had the time to think through."

He sat down. "Now, turning into a pony-- that one's a little harder. Might have to work to make sure that you know all the exits to wherever you wind up. Make sure there's a back door, if you're in a position where you can do that. Or do the thing you do with the genderswap thing and just say sometimes you like to play dress up. Sure, people'll think you're a little weird, but you can just cover it up later by saying there was a convention." Beat. "Or make sure you live alone, or room with people who do drugs regularly. Actually, that last one's probably the easiest on everyone."

Thanks, Atton. Sound life advice right there.

"Bringing this back to last weekend," he said, "the luggage-- that one's actually pretty easy. Take the day off. Make sure that whatever place you're in, it has enough room to house the luggage. Prep a story about getting a bunch of novelty bags by error - maybe push it off on those neighbors you don't like. Or make it an excuse to plan a vacation."

He shrugged. "Anyway, there's about a million of these things that can follow you around," he said, "I think it's time we put our heads together, put as much of them on the board as we can, and brainstorm up some solutions."

suitably_heroic

When the class met up in the Danger Shop this time, they'd find themselves in a forest in the middle of winter. To their left: a table full of winter jackets, scarves, rifles and socks. To their right: Atton.

"I had a friend over last weekend," he said. "She made a good point. See, I keep teaching you all about urban survival and how to deal with super-powered idiots trying to march all over you, but that might not be the only hostile world you're going to run into. Hell, some of this stuff, you can even apply in an urban environment - there's still animals to eat, if you're that down on your luck."

He pointed at the table. "Suit up," he called. "It's gonna be cold as soon as you cross that threshold over there. You've got 45 minutes until the sun sets, and you need something to eat. Your job is going to be to find some. I'd suggest shooting something and cooking it, but hey, you can try other ways if you want to. Once you have your food, you're going to want to get somewhere warm."

Beat.

"That's it. Good luck."

Oh boy.

suitably_heroic

Wonder upon wonders, Atton was here on time today, supporting ten days' worth of stubble and a black Jedi tunic. He'd told everyone to come to the Danger Shop - which was outfitted like a giant grocery store. Through the doors to his left was a kitchen.

He was sitting on the checkout counter. Of course he was.

"On our second week, I already had some of you guys trying to deal with the five credits-- bucks situation," he said. "This week, you get ten. Congratulations. Except your next paycheck doesn't come in for another six days, and you do need to eat. So." He spread his arms. "Go shopping! Then go next door and figure out how to use your ten dollars worth of shopping to cook something edible that leaves enough leftovers to help you survive for another day. Maybe two. Have fun."

That might've been the driest 'have fun' ever uttered between these walls.

suitably_heroic

So Atton was fifteen minutes late. So what? It happened. Sometimes, it just did.

He walked into the Danger Shop like he owned the place anyway, showing no sign of any conversations he may or may not have had in the past couple of hours because frankly it wasn't anyone's business. "Hey," he said, "Sorry I'm late. I had a whole class planned out, but my prep time got all mucked up, so we're just going to sit and talk a little more."

At least being in the Danger Shop meant he could call up some nice chairs instead of whatever butt-breaking nightmare the school shoved into its classrooms.

"So last week we were talking about impressions," he said. "We also talked a bit about what particular impressions can be good for. I let you guys run around coughing up whatever nonsense came to your minds and that was fine, but we're done with that part now."

"Why do we talk about impressions in a class like this? Because they matter," he said. "Sure, local culture goes on a lot about how they shouldn't, but they do, and once you know what impression you give off to everyone else, you can start to use it. Control it. There are a whole bunch of reasons why that's an important thing to do. It can help you find work, it can help you get out of sticky situations, it can even save your life. My personal favorite is the part where it can also keep nosy telepaths out of your head, if your universe happens to have those."

He poked himself in the head to make that point. "See, most telepaths aren't very interested in looking deeply into your head. They probably see a lot of idiots on a daily basis, so they tend to stick to the surface. The surface is where impressions work. You occupy your brain with enough busywork - hell, you occupy your brain with how hot the telepath in question is - and you'll see they look away pretty fast. Same goes for normal people, actually."

He looked at the students. "Okay," he said. "We're in the Danger Shop, so we might as well make use of it. I found a dress-up program somewhere in the systems that you guys get to use. Poke around. Find an outfit that either pushes the impression you give off to the point where people won't want to pay you any attention, or find one that gives off the absolute opposite impression of who you are. Experiment a little. Show off to your classmates. Go."

suitably_heroic

"All right," Atton said. He'd hopped up on his desk again, because who needed chairs anyway? "Today, introductions are over. Congratulations. None of you annoyed me so much that I wanted to boot you out of my class."

Though some of them came close. Evie.

"Now I'd like to think it doesn't come as a surprise to anyone that if you don't have the muscle - financial, physical, powers-wise, whatever - to push your way into a place of safety in life, well, your brain's going to have to do. The easiest way to use it is to look at the way other people see you and use that-- usually impressions are going to be your first line of defense."

He gestured at himself.

"Having taken a class from me twice and maybe heard about me on the radio, what's the impression I give you? What do you think I'm capable of? What do you think I'm not? What do you think my story is?"

He waited until everyone had taken their turn.

"Okay," he said, "So, that's what you think I am. Now pick another student. Tell them what your impression of them is, and vice-versa. Then talk about what that impression could do for you. Are there places you think you can enter more freely because you give off this vibe? Are there places that are harder to get into? People that are easier or harder to convince? Think about it."

suitably_heroic

Atton, in a stunning display of forethought, had left his jacket at home figuring it would just get in the way of any fast movements, in case the island decided to dump water on him again.

As it turned out, it did; it had taken a series of well-timed flips, dashes and jumps to make it to the school unscathed, but space, he'd made it. Score one for Rand, zero for the island.

Then he found out in the hallway that the water wasn't actually limited to outdoors - which would explain why his arrival in the Danger Shop was punctuated by his feet hitting the ground after a particularly acrobatic leap-- only for another blast of water to drop down out of the sky and hit him straight on.

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS--"

Cover your ears, kids.

Once he was done cursing in Twi'lekki (and cursing the fact he'd decided to wear a white tunic this morning nothing good ever comes of white clothing) he turned to the class. "Not one word," he snapped. "Actually, you know what, let's skip the lecture. Today is the second part of introductions - how well do you roll with the punches?"

He jabbed his finger towards two doors. "Left side, regular day. Right side, flight sim. Pick one. Deal."

suitably_heroic

It was a miracle Atton was even here. He'd been sincerely tempted to stay in bed this morning and let Sparkle do all the work, but... some stupid sense of duty he didn't even realize he had anymore had kicked in and now he was standing in front of the class, looking casual because that was about all he could manage right now.

"...Welcome to We-- I mean, How To Get By In A Hostile World," he drawled. "My name is Atton Rand, I used to go to school here, so don't think I don't know what I'm talking about. Okay. If you're in this class, it's probably because you're from somewhere terrifying where you're not exactly on top of the food chain. That may mean being an unpowered person in a world full of near-gods, or somebody who has powers but not exactly the kind that'll shake the world, or maybe you're just some poor schmuck living at the bottom end trying to get by."

Beat.

"Of course, if you're just here to show off how special you are, you can get out. Now."

Another beat. He waited for anyone to get up.

"...Okay, good. Anyway, I have powers now, but I didn't use to - or at least I didn't have the training so I might as well not have had them. Growing up, there was war all around us, and the people who actually had the powers to stop it decided to sit at home and twiddle their thumbs because the situation was quote-unquote 'complicated'. I've seen worlds burn and friends die."

He took a deep breath. He needed it to keep playing casual. "The only way I made it through the first decade or so of being on my own was by thinking on my feet," he said. "Exploring the weaknesses of people stronger than me, figuring out how to squeak by unnoticed, that kind of thing. So that's the stuff we'll be covering."

Atton nodded at a random student. "Talk to me," he said. "Who are you? What situation are you facing? What are you hoping to get out of this class? That kind of thing. Introductions are useful here, because a technique is only helpful if it's tailored to your actual situation."

He planted his ass on his desk. "Oh, and that guy over there with the stupid hair? That's Sparkle. He'll be your TA. If you have any stupid questions, take them to him." You're welcome, Sparkle.

Fandom High RPG

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