Fandom High School

He finally managed to get this lesson together, after going through several copies of various books of poetry. What the mimoths could possibly need with that much shredded paper, he would never know. "Today we'll begin our unit on Scottish poetry. Pay attention."

He went on to lecture on the two different classes of poets and bards, the traditional bardic clans, and then went on to outline the rann direach - precise/exact verse - in depressingly minute detail. He listed every one of the numerous technical elements to the perfect poem, including the number of syllables, assonance, chiming, internal rhyme schemes, even the classes of the vowels. Even the most diligent of students' eyes would glaze over somewhere before the third example.

The mun knows she did.

[[Sorry for the late. Time ran away from me. No OCD threads today. Feel free to nap through class, although Cammie might take it personally.]]

Seeing as one of his students has been arrested, another wasn't going to be in class because of the same, and a third hadn't come to class for the last week or so, Camulus threw in the towel. He hung a sign around the moose's neck and left.

'CLASS IS CANCELLED'

Camulus was looking a little wild-eyed. As if a horde of miniature mammoth-like creatures had infested his apartment and ate through half of his books, as well as attempting to nest in his sarcophagus. Not that they necessarily had, he just looked that way.

"Madainn mhath, a chlas," he began. "The Fianna. As I said before, while Fionn was their leader, they were not named for him. They were an elite group of warriors and it was extremely difficult to join their ranks. I had planned a few practical demonstrations of the Fianna trials, but I'm sure the administration wouldn't appreciate seriously maiming my students. Even in the pursuit of knowledge." Camulus looks very disgruntled at this fact. He goes on to the describe the maxims and trials of the Fianna, writing notes up on the board.

"Now, the chief warriors of the Fianna were the following men, each great in their deeds and so on. I'd like each of you to read up on a member of the Fianna from this list and give a short oral presentation next class. I'll cover whichever ones are left out, let me know who you are researching before you leave."

He wrote the list of names up on the board.

Caoilte mac Ronan
Goll mac Morna
Conan mac Morna - more commonly known as Conan Maol or Conan the Bald
Oisin mac Fionn
Oscar mac Oisin

"Diarmaid ui Duibhne was also one of the major Fenian warriors, but we've already covered his particular story."

[[Wikipedia is my friend. AFK until around 10 EST. Nevermind!]]

This would be one of Camulus's favourite lessons. Mainly because he was in it.

"And now, my dear class, we continue our look at the Fenian Cycle of Fionn mac Cumhall." He writes 'Cumhall' on the board and then writes his own beneath it. "The name Cumhall is a derivation of my own. I was a god of war in Scotland and Gaul, and in Ireland I was the father of the great hero Finn. Sadly, I never met the boy myself but his deeds added to my own fame." See? He loved talking about himself. So he proceeded to do so for the next fifteen minutes.

Eventually he reluctantly returned to Fionn, going over the stories of the birth and boyhood deeds of Fionn rather quickly.

"Any questions about anything we've covered this class?"

[[Sorry for lack of class the last couple of days. Life is eating my brain. I've found some summaries of the Fenian Cycle so you don't have to wade through the full versions.]]

[[I totally forgot about class today, my apologies, I'm here now!]]

"Now, before we begin class, you had an assignment due on Wednesday that I neglected to collect. Meaning you've had almost a week's extention so I expect it to be that much better. Hand them in on my desk."

He stood and pulled down a large map that bore absolutely no relation to any earthly coast. A dotted line traced some kind of path. "The Voyage of Maleduin. The bastard son of Aillil Edge-of-Battle and a nun goes on a voyage to avenge his father's death, but two of his cousins jumped on the ship at the last moment and put their numbers over that which had been prophesied. Doomed to wander from island to island until the tag-a-longs died.

"What I want from you is an idea as to the whys - why the seemingly unending progression of islands. Why the certain number. Parallels to any other stories we may have read or that you have read. Give me something."

"Ah, my dear class, good morning!" Camulus is always chipper when his students have just rolled out of bed, but today he's extra happy because he had a croissant for breakfast. Don't ask. "I hope that you all remembered that you had some reading to do on the stories of the Kings Cycle over the break, because today we will be discussing the Adventures of the Sons of Eochaid Mugmedon which is also a really fun name to say - say it with me: Yockee. Five brothers, an evil stepmother, two tests to determine which of the five would be king over Ireland.

"I'd like you to notice the professions of two of the supporting characters - Sithchenn and Torna. Torna is the poet or bard of this particular kingdom, which is why he is the only one who can touch the child Niall, despite the orders of Mongfinn. A bard was one of the most powerful figures in ancient Celtic society. He could not be denied anything or - horrors of horrors - he might write a satirical poem about you. Which sounds ridiculous, but was a very real threat. You've already come across the power of the bards when Phoebe introduced you to the story of Deirdre of the Sorrows. Besides her foster parents, Deirdre lives with a bard, because he is he only person Conchobhar cannot order away. In the story of the Cattle Raid of Cooley, which we won't be covering this semester, bards ask the hero Cu Chulainn for his spear, and he has to give it to them." Camulus smirked. "Of course, he gave it to them right through the head, but the general principle stands. We may be looking closer at the roles of bards and bardic poetry later on.

"Next, Sithchenn, the smith whos smithy is set alight. Not only is he a smith, he's also a wizard and prophet. Not the most common of trades to be associated with wizardry. Anyone have any idea why this could be?"

[[OCD threads coming up. And I swear to Bog I will interact today >.<]]

Camulus is looking well-rested and very gloaty that people had to be in class this early on a Monday the first day back from break.

"Ah, my dear class. I hope Phoebe took good care of you during my absence. I will offer you an explanation as soon as I have one." He stood up and paced to the board, writing 'Kings Cycle' on the board. "Wednesday we will begin our look at the next cycle of Irish literature, the Kings Cycle. These stories deal with the historical rulers of Ireland - with a definitely helping of myth piled a top." He began writing a list of names and dates on the board, starting at Art mac Cuinn because omgsomanynames and ending with Muircheartach mac Erca which is the best name to say aloud."

When this was finished, he sat back down. "And that is all the real work you have to do today. For the rest of the class . . ." He smirked. "Tell me a story. It could be something you did over break. It could be something you did as a child. It could be one of the stories we told in class. Just tell me a story in true Celtic fashion."

[[OCD threads coming up.]]

[[Sorry for the wee lessons, but I have a bus to catch in twenty minutes and I stil have to find my copy of the Mabinogian so I can study for my midterm on Monday. *facepalm*]]

Camulus is looking surly and growly and has absolutely no notes with him today. "Today I want you to read The Wooing of Etain and try to follow it. Ominous sounding, I know. However, the story has several different women who change shape and are reborn as different women and married to different kings but still end up with their original husbands. I want some sort of diagram to show that you understand what's going on." He pauses and scowls. "Questions you can ask."

Camulus looks happier than he usually does on Mondays - which is pretty happy - happy and well-rested. Suspiciously happy and well-rested. It's possible that he was even singing under his breath when he came into class. Yes, he was that happy.

"Good morning, class," he says cheerfully - for him, that is. "I'm feeling generous today, and as I forgot to didn't assign you any reading for this class, today will be a reading period, but if you choose you can leave as soon as you sign the roster and go back to bed. I know that's what I want to do. All I ask is that for the next class you read The Children of Lir and The Dream of Oenghus."

"Madainn mhath, class." Camulus looks far too perky for this hour of the morning. Mainly because he hadn't yet seen the posters with which Orlin has been blanketing town.

"Today's lesson is brought to you by the number four. Reading assignments!" He begins handing out books. "For the next class, I would like you all to have read the story of The Destruction of Da Derga's Hostel."

Books handed out, he produces a large map of ancient Ireland. "We'll be focusing on Irish legends because the mun hasn't covered Scottish yet and is afeared of the Mabinogian so it will be necessary for you to have some background information. We'll begin with the physical geography of mythical Ireland.

"The Irish word for province is 'coiceda', which means 'fifths'. It's related to the modern Gaidhlig for five, 'coig', and many other of the cognate words and their derivatives - like the French 'cinq'. So, coiceda. However, there were only four provinces of Ireland. Tradition holds that there was originally a fifth province, located in the centre of the country, which was absorbed by one of the others, probably Mumu." He taps the map. "In the north is Ulaid, modern name Ulster. You'll recognise them as the focus of the Ulster Cycle of stories. In the south is Mumu, modern name Munster. Connacht in the west, which retains its name, and Lagin in the east, which became Leinster. The mythical fifth province was Mide, which lends its name and location to the modern County Meath.

"Ulaid and Connacht were at war with each other, the most well-known story of this clash in the Tain Bo Cuailgne, or the Cattle Raid of Cooley. Ulaid's capitol was at Emain Macha and ruled by Conchobar or Conner. Its great hero was Cu Chulainn. Connacht's capitol was at Cruachu and its king was Ailill, and its queen was Medb, who is said to be the daughter of the king of Mide. She was at least a euphemised goddess and had a large role in the reign of the province. Mide itself is the province of the fey folk, the site of many of the burial mounds, and the home of Temuir, or Tara, seat of the high kings of Ireland.

"This information really only becomes important during one of the four cycles of Irish mythology, the Ulster Cycle. The other four cycles are the Mythological Cycle, the Kings Cycles, and the Finean or Oisianic Cycle. These are, of course, modern appellations and divisions. Characters and motifs cross over from one to the other. We will be covering each cycle, starting with the Mythological, which deals mainly with the exploits and deeds of the Tuatha de Danaan, the fairy folk. The Kings Cycle is the historical tales, myths and legends that have grown up around real kings of Ireland.

"The Ulster Cycle is comprised of the epic Cattle Raid of Cooley and its companion tales, telling the story of the great Ulster hero Cu Chulainn and his battle against the entire army of Connacht.

"The Ossianic Cycle, also known as the Finean Cycle, is the mun's favourite is the collected stories of Fionn mac Cuhmall - more commonly known as Finn McCool. His son, Oisin, was supposedly the bard who collected these stories and then handed them off to Christian monks before he died.

"Alright, that's it for today. Please have that read for next class. Any questions?"

"Madainn mhath, a chlas." Camulus looks rather distracted. "I hope you all enjoyed Friday's film and am pleased to see that you survived the weekend." Only in Fandom would this be said without an ounce of sarcasm or irony. "Today we are moving our focus from Scotland to the European continent - my apologies, Mr. Macbeth. We'll be moving from the continent to Ireland in a few days, which will be the focus of the course from then on.

"The Celts, contrary to popular belief, did not originate in the British isles, or even the nearby region now known as France. The Celts (the Keltoi, as the Classical authors were wont to call them) actually hail from the country around what is now Switzerland, in the late Stone Age. While the Roman Empire was stuggling in its infancy, Celtic culture was spreading across Europe and into Indo-China by the way of trade routes and rivers and came to be one of the dominant races of the Bronze Age. With the reputation for violence that they were quickly gaining, the Celts were often hired as mercenaries by any city-state in need. In fact, a large number of Celts made their way to Greece, where they lost no time in pillaging, sacking, and burning their former employers. The Celts also sacked Rome. It was only towards the end of their domination of Europe, closer to the year 500 BCE, that they began to cross over to the British Isles, displacing the native Picts or whichever races lived there previously."

He then continues to lecture on the Halstatt and La Tene cultures.

"Oh, and finally, to reiterate my attendance policy. Skip three and you're in detention. Mr. Scissorhands, Miss Alexander, Miss Summers, you each stand at two. Okay, so Edward has three but I acknowledge the badness of time zones. Just a warning."

[[Okay, here is the handout for the conversation, and here is the audio to go with it. I've tried to translate everything that isn't on the faclan vocab sheet. Any questions, ask Cammie. And sorry, no tapes for today's lesson. If you're really curious about pronunciations, I do have Skype. Email me and we'll tawk.]]

"Madainn mhath, a chlas. Today is our final class on Gaidhlig, and there are just two handouts today of some supplementary vocab. The first is a page of polite phrases - thank you, you're welcome, and so on. It also has the Gaidhlig version of a Christian prayer 'Our Father' - 'Urnaigh an Tighearna'." He goes over the phrases and how to say them, making the class repeat back at him. "I'd like to take special notice of 'Se do bheatha'. Lingual purists will argue that it should be enunciated - 'is E' rather than 'se'. The 'He' being referred to is, of course, God - in other words, 'don't thank me, thank God'. In colloquial Gaidhlig, however, one would never hear 'is E'. Also, the word 'leisgeul', meaning 'excuse', is actually the words for 'lazy' and 'story' stuck together.

"The second sheet is the colours, fairly straightforward. I will translate the passage at the bottom, as it makes use of vocabulary I haven't yet given you, as well as the furture of the verb 'to be'.

"Fall is here now. The leaves will be turning red, yellow, and russet. The weather will be growing cold. Winter will be coming. When winter has come - literally, 'after coming' - frosty days will be here - and snow! After that, we will be putting on us warm clothes. Gaidhlig makes a point of specificing who the clothes are being put on by use of the prepositional pronoun.

"The final item on that page is a 'rann beag' - a little rhyme. It's very simple, but useful in remembering a couple of the colours, as it describes the part of the egg - an t-ugh. I will translate. The Egg. Yellow. White. Little shirt - meaning the membrane of the egg - and shell. Silly, I know." He has the class repeat the rann beag, as well as the passage.

"And before I let you go, I want to know who is working with whom for your conversation - which is to be presented next class, if you will remember. And you may ask any questions that you have. Phoebe, plesae stay after so we can discuss your own assignment."

"Madainn mhath a chlas," Camulus says. He looks rather haggard, as if he has spent the entire weekend trying to figure out how to teach Gaidhlig as concisely as he could. "Agus failte a Laithean na Gaidhlig. Good morning, class, and welcome to Gaelic Days. This week will be spent trying to give you a rudimentary knowledge of modern Scots Gaelic, as well as some idea of how the language evolved. When we begin reading the Irish tales later in the semester, you will see how similar Scots Gaelic and Irish are, the branching point being fairly recently on a broad historical scale.

"I did attempt to teach a course entirely in Scots Gaidhlig last semester." He looks rather dour. "Only one student attended. If, however, you are interesting in learning, I will be offering tutoring sessions for the small price of your soul. We'll begin with two notes from last semester on the origin of the language, which will cover the dry note-taking portion of the unit. Tomorrow will be the 'laughing while you all struggle with dipthongs' portion of the unit. And Friday will be the 'assigning you an oral presentation' part of the unit. I had only planned to teach Gaidhlig for one week. If you are all enjoying it, I may be convinced to extend it to two. So. Let's begin."

( The dry note-taking portion of the unit. )

He smiles a bit, and his eye have that lost-in-memory kind of look. "I'm sure at the moment you are all cursing me and swearing up and down that you will never learn this godforsaken language. But Gaidhlig is a . . . fun language. You would be amazed at the number of words that have migrated into the English language. The word 'whiskey', for example. It's a well known fact that 'vodka' is the diminuative of the Slavic for 'water', but the Gaidhlig word for 'water' is 'uisge'. Whiskey itself was called 'uisge bheatha', the water of life. Consider 'gu leor' - it became the English 'galore'." He pauses. "'Gu leor' is one of the best examples of Gaelicness. It isn't just a language. It's more a way of life. One is never asked if they speak Gaelic - one is asked, "A bheil na Gaidhlig agad?" Do you have the Gaelic?" He smiles even more. "And even that question shows another point - directly translated it reads, 'Is the Gaelic at you?' There is no word meaning 'to have'. Things can be at you, on you, or in you, but you can't have anything. And, your final Gaidhlig meaning for today brings us back to 'gu leor'. It means both 'plenty' and 'enough'. If you have enough, you have plenty."

[[Okay, phonetically writing Gaidhlig? Very frelling difficult. Camulus would probably be saying 'Gaelic' the Gaelic way - more like Gallic, with a breathy 'a'. I'll be switching between spellings because my brain is weird like that.]]

[[*smacks forehead* With the right journal this time. Wow. That was a really long nap. Sorry. Still sleepy. Hence the shortness. And lack of real info.]]

"Madainn mhath, a chlas," Camulus begins. "Welcome back. We shall begin. Yesterday, I asked you to think about your families - biological, extended, adopted, or otherwise. The reason for this is that the understanding of clan and clan loyalties is behind just about everything. The Celtic code of chivalry doesn't quite exist as many others do. You'll find numerous accounts of infidelity, wifeswapping, cheating at fidchell, and any number of other activities not deemed appropriate by society today. But clan is always the most important." He continues lecturing on the lengthy clan wars that could erupt, the development and eventual outlawing of the clan system in Scotland under the reign of the English monarchs and the establishment of the system of clan tartans under the same.

"A further example is in the profusion of Mac-, Mc-, and O'- surnames found now around the world," he continues. "The word 'clan' itself comes from the Gaelic for 'children', 'clann' (klown). Therefore, the word 'clann' combined with the genitive form of the name of the father, say Donald or Domhnall (Do(n)wool), would become 'clann Dhomhnaill' (Ghow(n)wheel). The same thing applies when one takes the word for 'son' - 'mac'. The son of Donald is MacDhomhnaill. The female counterpart, 'nic', has rather falllen out use. 'Mc' developed from the same, and the 'O' prefix came from the Irish equivalent, 'ui'. The saga of the Ui Neills, or the O'Neills, forms a large part of the Kings Cycle of literature." He smiles. "We'll begin a cursory look at Gaelic next week, and we'll continue talking about families next day. I'll introduce you to the sloinneadh."

[[EDIT: Now with header! *falls asleep again*]]

"Nollaig chridheil dhuibh," Camulus says. "Today's the final class, so I procured a movie to watch," he waves the tape around a bit, "You don't have to stay if you don't wish to. Come and see me for your grades." With that, he sits down and pops in 'A Charlie Brown Christmas'

[[Camulus is sticking around over the holidays, but if you aren't, Merry Christmas, happy holidays, Happy New Year, and everything else I could possibly wish you.]]

"Feasgar math!" Camulus is practically jovial. "It's time for your final exam! Bags to the front, and as there's so few of you, if you cheat, I will catch you."

( Final Exam )

"Oh, one final note. I'll have your final marks for Wednesday and hand back any projects."

[[Geez, exams are hard to write. Feel free to '*writes and hands in exam, probably mostly wrong*' or actually take the gorram thing.]]

There is a note on the door of the Celtic Studies classroom instructing students to go to the Danger Room Shop. Once there, they will see that it has been recreated into a verdant, rolling landscape. A castle perches on a distant hill (but it's only a model), overlooking an open, grassy area, where Camulus has greated a fairly impressive and quite tasteful throne at one edge, a much lesser chair beside it. He is lounging in godly fashion on said throne when the class arrives.

"It is time," he announces with relish. "Amuse your god. Present your play. You may have a few minutes to organise yourselves. I am told that the Danger Room Shop can accomodate any staging needs you have. Angel, I'll take your essay and you can come sit over here while we mock watch your classmates present."

[[I swear to drunk I'll get all my class info sorted out after Friday. Okay, Monday.]]

The classroom is looking suspiciously festive. As in, there is a Santa hat on the moose. From Camulus' glare, it seems that this was not his doing. "Feasgar math, mo chlas," Camulus says when all are assembled, sounding slightly grumpy. "Your final project is due on Thursday, don't forget. Hopefully we will have use of the Danger Room Shop. This better be good. Oh, and your final exam is a week from today, the last day of class because the mun is a dope and has run out of time. I will mark them that evening, you can get your marks from me the next day. Just drop by when you have a chance. So today is your review period. Surprise!" He moves around the class, handing out a small booklet. "Your exam will be in three parts. The first is some multiple choice or fill-in-the-blank, I haven't decided yet. Know names, dates, titles. I'm going right back to the Celtic sources for this - Culhwch and Olwen, Ambrosius Aurelianus, Battle of Badon Hill. Next part is passage identification. I'll give you a paragraph from one of the works we studied, you tell me the author, title, date it was written, and explain its significance and context. That's worth the most. Finally, a short essay on one of the topics we covered in class."

He returns to his desk and uncovers a rather large mixing bowl that was sitting there. "And in the spirit of the holidays, I've made you a little treat. Fureach. Sometimes called crowdie." He displays the bowl, which appears to be a lumpy mixture of heavy cream and oatmeal. "It's heavy cream and uncooked oatmeal with a touch of whiskey," he says by way of explanation. "Old tradition. Have a spoonful or two. There's things buried in it - if you find them, you're lucky for a year."

"Feasgar math, mo chlas," Camulus says when class begins. "We have some things to sort away before we begin the lesson." He consults the calendar on his desk (which doesn't happen to be the 'Men in Kilts' one. Not at all.) and double-checks. "Yes. We have five more classes, after this one, before the end of the term. One of these classes will be devoted to your final exam, which will take place on Monday, December 19th. The following Wednesday, if anyone's still here, you'll have a chance to review your exam and do whatever it is Tau'ri children typically do the last day of school. Which leaves us three classes all of next week. Which means you, my lovelies, have quite a bit of reading ahead of you if we are to finish the Tain. Means that for Monday's class you will have to read up to 'The Combat of Cur with Cuchulainn'. For Wednesday, up to 'The Combat of Ferdiad with Cuchulainn, so that you can have it read completely for Friday. In theory. Friday I will also give you a review for your exam." He pauses, as if unsure whether or not to mention the next item. "I apologise for my absence the last two classes. I've been making arrangements, negotiating my passage off this planet, finding somewhere to go. I'm leaving Fandom after this semester."

With that, he stands up, goes to the board, and begins writing down names and lecturing on the sections of the Tain covered so far.

[[Posted early because I actually have to read the Tain before my Celtic Lit exam tomorrow. No lecture for the same reason. I may be in and out later, depending on how my willpower holds up.]]

Camulus has returned. He is seated at his desk, frowning at the book in his hand as he reads. It seems to be a copy of Cross & Slover, but if someone were to look over his shoulder they would see the hidden copy of 'The Care and Feeding of Hamsters'.

He looks up once the class has arrived, hurriedly shoving both books into his desk drawer.

"Failte a-rithist," he intones. "For today's class, I want you to come up with a list of the traits of chivalry that we have encountered in our readings. The behaviour of the knights, the behaviour of the women, some of the consequences of breaking this code, what constitutes chivalry in the modern day and age. I'm hoping for an in-class discussion, but I'll want a few notes on what we come up with next class."

He grins, rather evilly. "And as threatened, I want a progress report on your final project. If this is something you pull together four hours before it's due - that's December the 8th, one week from now, next Thursday - it'll reflect in your grade."

[[And I'm off to sing to old people in Gaelic. Back in a few.]]