Fandom High School

Reno hadn't actually gotten a hell of a lot of sleep last night, since looking out the window and watching that maze eat its way over the island seemed far more interesting, but he had, at least, had the presence of mind to make his way to the school to see what the hell was going on around here.

And to smell it.

"Huh. Kinda homey."

He quickly fired off an e-mail from his phone to all of his students, telling them that class was good and cancelled on account of island-wide insanity and some nasty-assed smell, before hunkering down next to the kinda freaky bridge to make sure that nobody from his class who might not have checked their e-mails tried to get to the school through that.

Like there was a huge chance of that happening, Reno.

[OCD-freeeeeeee. Class is cancelled for the day, but Reno is still there on the safe side of the stink if anybody is absolutely hell-bent on showing up just to get turned away.]

"Yo, Rookies!" Reno gave his students a lazy grin as he settled back against his desk. This week, we're gonna touch on somethin' that you all probably ain't strangers to, havin' all been on the island as long as you have. We're talkin' alternate realities, timelines, universes, that kinda shit."

( Reno's colorful vocabulary knew no bounds. Truly. )

[Open!]

"Yo, Rookies!" If Reno looked a little less mellow than usual, that was totally the imagination of everyone in the class. If he looked like he'd done up a few more buttons than usual on his shirt, too? Well, that much wasn't. Even Reno could respect when it was really freaking awkward to go around half-dressed in front of students who were practically his own age. "We've covered all kinds of fun fightin' crap already, and healin' and all of that, yo. So today we're gonna expand a little on that barricade thing we did the other week, and go into defenses as a whole."

Insert thoughtful pause while Reno struggles not to make a horribly off-color crack about 'protection,' here.

"In the sim where we we set up that barricade and faced off against them griffins, we were really just stratchin' the surface, yo. There are plenty of ways to keep invaders out, beyond just pilin' things up. It's true, some of the best-fortified places have way more time to set up those defenses than we do, yo. Can we really be expected to-" he choked on the word 'erect,' "set up a wall around the whole island or whatever? But there are things we can do. I know my girl Rikku's got experience with puttin' together patrol droids, which ain't a bad first step. Knowin' there's an enemy on the way and gatherin' info about 'em early on is a big help on the way to fendin' them off."

Deep breath. Press onward, Reno!

"Makin' yourself ha-difficult to find is another important step. Camo, magic or tech-based sight-shields, findin' your way into convenient little hidey-holes, they're all gonna save your ass when the heat is on, yo. And then, of course, comes the barricade stuff. The point ain't always to pile so much junk so high that it'll take 'em forever to get in. That kinda strategy don't work against an aerial enemy, does it? But the same idea applies, whether you're layin' out mines, electric fences, or lightin' your barricade on fire for one major last stand."

Okay! He was in the home stretch now! He could do this!

"Discussion class today, yo. Knowin' as much as you do about the island, how would you go about protectin' what you got? Where do your own strengths sit? Talk about what it is you can contribute to fortifyin' the island if somethin' big hits, whether it's early-warning, finding a place to hunker down that'll give you a tactical advantage, or just keepin' shit out."

[Open!]

Once again, Reno was holding class in the Danger Shop, which had been programmed to look like your regular old Fandom Island street scene. He could have tossed you outside, but he wanted to limit the possibility of there being actual bystanders out there.

Which was probably a bad sign, right?

"Yo, Rookies," he said, leaning back against the front of Turtle and Canary with a crooked grin on his face. "Last week, we covered a little slice of life from the Support Services corner of the island's Reserves groups. This week, we're gonna cover a bit of what the fighters got to offer, yo."

He nodded back over his shoulder through the window of the store.

"Normally, I ain't gonna encourage looting, but this week we're gonna focus on usin' whatever the hell you got at your disposal in order to get the job done. Hate to do this to you powered kids, but this is gonna be a no-powers class again, yo. File inside the T&C here. You got five minutes to grab whatever you think you need before a flock of Griffins comes wheelin' in and tries to bust in the windows to tear you apart, yo. Why Griffins? They have the ability to drain magic, and they're resistant to any spells you might throw at 'em that'll slow 'em down, yo."

Reno liked to keep these things on an even playing field, yes. He'd find a way to even out the fighters next week when they covered magic, too.

"If you ain't a fighter, group together and get to work buildin' a barricade for these windows, because they'll make quick work of 'em. If you are a fighter, feel free to improvise up a weapon outta whatever's in here, yo. But make it good, because the pointiest shit you're gonna find in here is probably a set of kitchen knives."

Reno gave his hands a clap and then gestured toward the door. "Five minutes, Rookies. In you go."

[OCD up, in spite of LJ being laggy like a laggy website that lags! Open!]

"You ain't gonna win 'em all." Nope, there wasn't even a 'Yo, Rookies!' today as Reno made his way into the Danger Shop, only a couple of minutes late. There had been an important stop for coffee this morning, which he was now pausing to take a mouthful of as he settled in. Suck it up, kids. "You ain't. And, much as you all wanna think otherwise, you ain't all gonna be able to survive everything that life throws at you without a few bumps an' nicks along the way, yo."

This was Reno-ese for 'people get their idiot butts killed out there all the time.'

"I know, you all been spoiled by Fandom's practically nonexistent mortality rate. An' maybe you figure you're all invincible or some shit as a result, an' you can handle anything that you go up against. But news flash, kiddos: You ain't. And you can't. I don't care how strong you are. I don't care what superhuman abilities you got. Someday, you won't be able to out-run, out-think, or out-fight whatever it is that's comin' down on top of us. Someday, you will be thrust so friggin' hard on your ass that you will consider yourself lucky if someone shows up like a knight in shinin' armor to haul your sorry self outta there."

He smirked. He shrugged.

"So, we're gonna have a bit of a team-buildin' exercise, yo. Bit of a go against the Danger Shop, here. And I want you to all try an' tackle it without powers, to try an' keep things on an even playing field. You're each gonna break off into pairs. One of you's gonna play injured and pretty much useless, and you gotta get your ass rescued, yo. It's up to your partner to drag you outta harm's way." He nodded, and the Danger Shop flickered. And suddenly, everyone was standing on one end of a very shoddy looking suspension bridge. "Across this, zoto."

Really, he didn't even need to toss in enemy fire for this exercise. You guys would have an interesting enough time of this activity as it is.

[Open!]

Today, when the students gathered for their class, they'd find themselves in... an interesting Danger Shop setting, yes. Today, the indoors were made to look something like the outdoors. A sprawling pasture next to a barn, populated by large, yellow birds that looked something like a cross between a canary and an ostrich.

Meet the mighty Chocobo, kids.

"Yo, Rookies!" Reno was ever-so-comfortably leaning up against a fencepost, arms crossed over his chest. "No, the island don't have none of these guys on it, and no, this ain't an invasion you'll probably ever have to worry about. Unless you go hittin' them first, they'll either just run away, or try an' nuzzle you to death, yo. But today, we're talkin' about transportation, and I thought, shit, why not give you guys a basis for comparison?"

He grinned. It was one of those 'I am going to probably enjoy watching this more than you'll enjoy attempting it' grins.

"So, like you guys probably noticed last Friday with them fish, gettin' from point A to point B durin' an invasion can be... A bit tricky. Unless you don't mind havin' your ass chomped on the way. Bein' here on Fandom Island, with a student body as diverse as this one, fortunately we got a few options, yoto. We got teleporters, who might not mind givin' you a lift. We got flyers, who might be able to take you over an' above whatever's out there. Then there's the speedsters, who usually seem to prefer runnin' solo, but they'll get from here to there, faster'n whatever's on their tail. And, of course, you got people with horses, or motorbikes, or the ability to make shields, or just fighter-type escorts. Some of these methods involve more risk than others, yo. But if you're not bein' an idiot about it, they might get you where you need to go, and in one piece, too."

One of the birds wandered over to Reno and tried to bury its face in his armpit. He gave it a pat on the forehead that was almost affectionate if you squinted before pressing on.

"Today, we're gonna put that into practise, yo. Your mission, should you choose to accept it- An' shit, even if you don't wanna, this is my class an' I'm the boss here- Is to get from the barn to the fenceposts at the same time or before the chocobos do. Do whatever you gotta, yo. Try an' run, teleport, fly, find some way to slow them down, or try to get up on their backs an' hitch a ride. Odds are they don't throw you. Hard."

Yep. You were going to be racing against ten-foot tall yellow birds. Deal with it, class.

[Open! WAIT I MISSED SOME. Okay, NOW it's open! For real!]

"Yo, Rookies!" Why, yes, Reno was in an excellent mood as he sauntered into the classroom today. Why do you ask? "Funny thing, ain't it? I always had a hell of a friggin' time stayin' awake during history lessons, and here I am about to give you one?"

( Well, Reno thought it was amusing, anyhow. )

[Open and rambly, as is the way of Reno's classes.]