Fandom High School

Today, the Danger Shop was bathed in so much black light and neon it was like the unholy lovechild of a Lisa Frank trapperkeeper and a tanning bed. That, or--laser tag!

Guess which one it was, kids.

"Hey," Hardison said, stepping out in front of the class with his super-cool wraparound eye protection and his laser-tag gear on, which included a pair of boots wired into the pack. "It's our last day of class, an' we're gonna have it in style. We're playin' capture the flag today, with a red team an' a blue team. When a laser hits your chest plate, you freeze up an' can't move for thirty seconds an' your laser won't work, either. Which gives the other team a chance to run an' grab your flag. Your job is to defend your own flag an' capture the other team's by the end of the class. See if you got what it takes!"

He went into a quick demonstration of how the gear worked, including the necessary warnings about not getting the lasers into anyone's eyes and then let them suit up. The lasers were built into the palms of their gloves, so that they worked like superhero blasts.

Someone had been looking up clips of Iron Man over the weekend, okay? Shut up, the tech was pretty cool.

Class was back in the Danger Shop today, and would see Hardison lounging on a couch in front of a truly ridiculously-sized TV screen. "'Sup class," he said with a lazy wave. "So, with the advent of the internet, TV got hella cooler. No commercials, for starters, an' you get to watch stuff on your own time. Better than that, we have whole series of TV shows just waitin' at our fingertips to enjoy, from the hottest new shows to stuff you ain't even thought about since you were a kid. You can kill whole days just watchin' TV, avoidin' the heat an' the outdoors. It's great. Hell, it even gave rise to a cultural phenomenon called Netflix an' Chill, which I ain't gonna explain. Y'all have access to the internet, you can look it up if you wanna find out."

Because nope, nope, nope! No way was he going to explain that to a bunch of teens.

"Between Netflix, Hulu, an' Amazon Prime, there's a ton of programmin' for you to enjoy. The only trick is makin' sure you can find somethin' y'all agree on."

Class was not in the Danger Shop this week. In fact, it wasn't even in the school. A message had handwavily gone out to the members of class the night before, telling them to meet up in town, at Fast Eddie's. When they came in, Hardison was lining up a shot. "Six, corner pocket," he called. A second later, the six ball sunk into the specified pocket and Hardison was turning around to greet his class.

"Not every indoor activity has to involve your own home," he said. "Sometimes, you gotta brave the outside world long enough to get somewhere even better. Findin' places to hang out durin' the summer is especially good if your house ain't got air conditionin' or is full of other people. Most public places can't kick you out so long as you ain't disruptive an' make a show of givin' 'em money every so often. In a restaurant, you can do that by orderin' another beverage, which you can also do here--" He jerked his thumb towards the tiny cafe inside Fast Eddie's "--or by playin' a game every coupla hours. Gotta be careful, though. When the place is busy, the staff might come an' kick you out if you're just takin' up a table or a lane in favor of other customers who are gonna pay more. At the same time, a crowd is good while you're in the arcade portion--it's easy to get lost in the crowd. Conversely, it also ain't great when you're the only person there. It's easy to keep tabs on you an' how much you're spendin'. On days when the place is empty, you gotta be real good at makin' sure you're spendin' money at the proper interval to keep folks from botherin' you. Of course, how much money is enough an' how long the 'proper interval' is varies from place to place. A good rule of thumb is to never go longer than an hour before spendin' money on somethin', whether it's a meal or a game or whatever."

Those instructions relayed, Hardison started handing out money; each student got five dollars in quarters. "Now, if you want, you can just settle in for today an' have fun. This place has an arcade, a bowling alley, pool tables. Beat the heat an' have a good time for the next hour. Hit me up if you need more money for stuff." Yes, it would have been easier and cheaper to just program this into the Danger Shop, but this way, Hardison had to walk less. Bonus! "For those of you who want a challenge, I talked to the staff before y'all showed up. They're gonna keep an eye on you an' toss you out if they don't think you're playin' enough. The trick is, you only get to spend your five dollars I gave you. Once it's gone, it's gone--no more. So you got to figure out how to spend a whole hour hangin' out under the nose of the staff with only five bucks to use to keep them from kickin' you out for loiterin'. Good luck!"

Surprising absolutely no one who'd ever taken a class with him before, Hardison had sent messages for his students to meet him in the Danger Shop for class today. What they might not have expected for a class called 'Indoor Activities', was for the Danger Shop door to open up to a replica of Fandom's beach, all set up for a picnic. There were blankets spread over the sand, baskets overflowing with treats and snacks and drinks, and a volleyball net set up not that far away. The sand was soft and white, the ocean was blue and welcoming, and the sky played host to puffy clouds and a golden sun.

"Sup," Hardison said, giving a lazy wave from where he was lounging in a beach chair. "Welcome to Beat The Heat: Indoor Activities 101. C'mon in, settle down, help yourself to some snacks, let's get this class started, right?"

He waited until everyone had taken a seat on a blanket and helped themselves to snacks if they wanted before continuing his lecture. "So, it's gettin' on to summer, which means everyone's gonna be encouragin' you to go outside an' do stuff. Like somehow now that the weather's warmed up, all the fun things you did inside over the winter suddenly ain't good enough anymore. An', sure, you may be a little bit stir-crazy if the winter's been particularly bad, but runnin' around outside in the summer ain't the glorious, problem-free pastime everybody tries to pretend, either." While he was talking, the Danger Shop had been cranking up the heat, taking a scene that had been 'comfortably warm' up to 'sweltering.'

"There are lotsa reasons to hang indoors over the summer. It gets hot really quick," he said, wiping his forehead with his arm as sweat broke out at his hairline. "Summer brings out all sorts of bugs to bother you." Mosquitoes made an appearance now, darting around trying to bite. Swarms of midges circled, making it hard to open one's mouth without inhaling a few. Ants started marching their way across the blankets towards the food. "Sand might be pretty, but it's damn uncomfortable an' gets everywhere." No, he wasn't trying to hit on anybody Anakin, just complaining as the wind picked up and started blowing sand into their food and clothing. "An' then you gotta deal with all the other folks who had the same idea as you an' decided to go outside at the same time you did." Suddenly the beach was filled with other people, all laughing and yelling and running around kicking up yet more sand as they dashed by. Four guys started playing a game of volleyball and every few minutes the ball would go flying towards Hardison's students, not hitting anyone, but knocking into their food and drinks. "An' if it ain't too hot, it's too cold. Summer weather is mad changeable, yo." And the temperature, which had continued to climb far past comfortable levels, plummeted sharply. The sky darkened and the ocean roiled as fat drops of cold rain started falling onto their picnic.

And then the beach was gone, replaced by a comfortable living room. Damp clothes were instantly dry, bug bites had vanished, and once again there was food, no longer despoiled by bugs or sand. "Then you got your house," Hardison said, smiling. "Climate controlled, where all your stuff is. You got electricity, plumbin', refrigeration...any number of modern conveniences just waitin' for you to decide you wanna use 'em. Now, I ain't sayin' that the outdoors is all bad--" He was just implying it heavily "--but I am sayin' you got plenty of options to have fun inside, where you ain't gotta worry about everythin' we just experienced out on the beach."