Fandom High School

Cara had her class meet her out on the school lawn where she stood in a pose that still managed to be imposing (if not dignified) despite the plates of fried potatoes that piled up around her. The mud filled obstacle course behind her was just imposing.

"You're having your final today instead of next week," she told them, then added n a deadpan. "Surprise." Though if they were actually surprised she hadn't been doing her job right.

"It's pretty simple, the class just has to complete that obstacle course. Should be easy enough."

Beat.

"Also watch out for the potatoes. They're not part of it."

Cara was not wearing her leathers to class today, and unlike previous times this had happened, there were no gremlin bites to be seen.

"Yesterday was terrible," she said. "And sometimes it doesn't matter if you do the smart or stupid thing, because they're both terrible choices." To pick a completely random example, talking through your issues versus ruthlessly repressing them until something gave, not that Cara would know anything about that.

"So today we're going to watch a show about how one woman copes with her terrible life."

Cara's class was back in the Danger Shop this week, which was set up to resemble the streets of the town.

"Given none of you are exactly new, you've probably noticed that this island is regularly invaded, and we're probably due for another in a month or so." Those decorations started going up in the shops, then invasions happened, it was like the tinsel attracted them. "Now some of the other teachers have mentioned what you should to if you're inclined to actually listen to the advice about avoiding the fighting, but given the likelihood of that happening, today you're getting a chance to familiarise yourself with what it's like fighting in the town. Or re-familiarise yourself."

They were back in an ordinary classroom this week, with Cara leaning up against the desk.

"It's the start of Parent's Weekend so I'm going easy on you this week." They could all thank her later. "Especially since the weekend itself will be an exercise in avoiding stupidity for those of you with troublesome guests. So we're just going to have two discussion questions today. The first is about what kind of plans you might have made to avoid your guests figuring out this island is completely insane, those of you who either have no guests, or whose guests don't care about it, can figure out ways to help your less fortunate classmates."

She grinned at them. It wasn't reassuring. "Once you're done with that, then you all get to come up with ways it could all go wrong. If you've been here a while, you know some of the things that could happen. Try and figure out how you'd deal with those kind of things happening."

Today, Cara was holding class in the Danger Shop, which looked an awful lot like Caritas, down to the holographic Tino behind the bar.

"We all have different ways of dealing with life's irritations," she began. "Some people try to ignore them, some people think talking will solve all their problems, and some people like to take the direct route." Three guesses which category Cara fell into.

"But sometimes we can't actually use our preferred method, for whatever reason. Maybe you're being physically prevented by a spell, or maybe the irritant in question is a co-worker who refuses to be reasonable. Which is why you're all going to take turns helping Tino with a problem. Of course it's Tino, so you'll probably spend more time trying to figure out what the problem is in the first place."

The weather was still warm enough to hold class outside, so Cara had told her students to meet her out on the lawn.

"This is Don't Be Stupid," she began. "Hopefully the name is self-explanatory, but in case you need it spelled out, this is a class about learning to use your common sense, though the term is relative on this island. I'll come up with problems, you'll have to come up with solutions."

Spoiler, often these solutions were going to need to involve violence.

"But that's later, t's the first class, which means we get to do introductions, even though I recognise most of you already." She pointed at a random student. "You. Name, year, either what you want out of this class, or a situation where you were the only sensible one."