Fandom High School

After getting into their traditionally awful uniforms and entering the Danger Shop, students would find that their normal gym had been transformed into a dank and foggy cliff face and that they stood on a deck over very dark and deep water. The professor stood at the bottom of the cliff next to a series of ropes that dangled from so high up the tops could not be seen through the fog. Way up at the top of the cliff was a whole mess of comfortable furniture, pillows, and blankets along with a big screen ready to show the movie.

"Romantic comedies aren't all that great," Ronon started, looming in front of his students one last time. "Least not from this planet. But I got a friend who quotes this one all the time and he's cool so we'll go with it." And weren't they all lucky for that. "So for the final, you're watching The Princess Bride and climbing up the face of the Cliffs of Insanity. Not in that order. Be aware, the ropes have a tendency to break in the movie, so I bet you run into that, too. Otherwise you've been a good class and with luck I won't see any repeaters next go round."

On this Very Special Monday, the Danger Shop had been transformed into a massive Ikea store, complete with two levels and a cafe. Students would enter through the locker rooms first, ensuring they were properly attired for the day's event before getting started.

Ronon greeted them with a nod, tossing an allen wrench in the air while he waited for the last students to assemble. "So, you all know Ikea - that island Fandom's sleeping with or whatever. And you prolly know it's holiday shopping season. Somethin' I didn't know till I showed up at the store on Friday. As much as I really don't care about your weird holidays, shopping seems to be an important and dangerous part of them. Today your workout's gonna be getting through the crowds and buying everything on your list." Ronon paused to hand out a sort of scavenger hunt-style shopping list to all the students. On it, they would find a variety of moddable basic household items, fake plants, lighting fixtures, and some boxed shelving units that weighed in excess of 80lbs each and all the acoutrements they required. Like those things that held up the books.

"Don't get cocky, the people are here to make it hard for you to pass them, and are likely to want anything you have. You have twenty minutes to gather your items and make it to the checkout." He was feeling giving by not making them check out, bag their items, or strap anything to the roof of a compact car in the parking deck. "Don't matter if you finish or not, we're all watching Jingle All the Way in the auditorium in twenty-two minutes. Let's go!"

As students filtered into the Danger Room, they'd find themselves faced with a dark space, save for some flickering candle light. The air in the room was lifted with the scent of soothing incense and the floor was littered with soft pillows and mats. The typical locker room doors were off to one side, masked from obvious view by a decorative screen to keep the serene atmosphere of the room intact.

And then there was the large man sitting cross-legged in the back, hands resting on his knees, palms up. At the proper hour, Ronon began speaking. "Today we're meditating. It's like relaxing while sitting up and breathing properly. Keep your backs straight and maintain position or I'll break out The Guru and no one wants that." No, seriously, no one wanted that.

"Now, get your uniform and take a seat. Sit cross-legged with your hands resting on your knees, palms open toward the sky just like this. Falling asleep means you're doing it too well. I'll leave the music on for background." Ronon always meditated too well. Lucky for everyone there was no Teyla here to hit them with sticks.

Meeting as usual in the Danger Shop, the class would possibly be surprised by the old and sketchy bowling alley that appeared behind the doors. All were in luck that the concessions were open, if still just as sketchy as the bowling alley itself.

"Last week we touched on love. This week you watch King Pin, a movie about some Athosian kid with bad hair and a killer arm. Then you'll do like him and bowl. Beyond the movie, I've been told this is a time-honored Earth tradition involving beer, one-on-one combat, and broken fingers. For non-Earthlings, it's easy enough. Pick up the ball and toss it down the lane to hit all the pins." As Ronon spoke, he demonstrated, failing to use the finger holes in the ball, but still managing a strike for his trouble. No one in previous classes had bothered to correct him and so far he seemed okay with this. "You break a finger, I got some tape for it. No hitting people with the bowling ball unless it's necessary." He was kidding, sort of, but really he was wishing he'd picked a TA so someone else could be in charge of first aid.

"Dress out and meet on the lanes."

After a nice long week away, the Danger Shop was outfitted with a giant screen again, but this time there were dozens of StairMasters set up in front of it. A large Satedan leaned against one of the machines waiting for them all to filter into the room.

"Hope your vacation was good," Ronon said from his spot at the front of the room, back resting against the screen. "Today we're back to our study of fitness and films with the movie Cliffhanger. It's no award winner, but the guys a badass and while you watch, you'll be doing some climbing of your own on these machines." Ronon took the time to go through proper use of the equipment, as always before pointing them all to the waiting locker room doors. "Get your uniforms on and we'll get started. Welcome back."

The Danger Shop was again not set up as a gymnasium, and was for this week, an olympic sized swimming pool, complete with high dives at one end. The opposite end of the pool had a large film screen set up, ready to show a movie while the group worked out in the water.

The professor was wearing typical long swim trunks and a smile as he greeted the group. "Today we're watching Swimfan while we learn how to swim laps or float, depending on where you are in your swimming." It was appropriate, or something. He then spent a few minutes going through the different types of strokes to make sure everyone had some instruction in how this all worked.

"I know some of you've got water issues, but I...was a lifeguard for a weekend and can't seem to forget how that works, so I'll help you out. Over here there are rafts, vests, and arm floats for you to use if you need 'em. Once you're in the water, find a partner to talk through why you shouldn't go to the pool at night and why making friends with stalkers is a problem."

With that, Ronon ushered them towards the locker room door to the side where they would find the most amazing bathing suits uniforms known to human kind.

Over the weekend, Ronon had caught a viewing of Dirty Dancing and decided that his students would enjoy a chance to show off their skills or their lack of skills. This led to the Danger Shop taking on the form of a terribly dusky room with a large screen blaring scenes from the movie.

When they'd assembled, Ronon paused the scene. "Today your movie clips are the dance scenes from some movie that declares no one can put Baby in the corner. After you get your uniforms on, I'll assign you to a partner, with one of you dancing as Baby and the other as Johnny. We've got an even number, so no one's lucky enough to be carrying the watermelon." Ronon smiled widely at that image even if it wasn't to be.

"But first, you've gotta learn how to dance. Luckily this movie's a how-to. Pick a scene and recreate it. Enjoy."

( Cut for partner list )

When students arrived, they would find the Danger Shop was set up like a traditional gymnasium, complete with changing rooms and really high ceilings. Along the walls were several large screens and most of the gym floor was covered in thick blue mats.

Once it seemed everyone had arrived, the man at the front of the room wearing far too much leather crossed his arms and started talking. "This is Physical Films and I'm Ronon Dex. They say I should share somethin' about myself so, uh, I'm a Satedan, from another galaxy that's really far from here. I'm stuck on Earth by choice an' teachin' you guys for fun," Ronon informed them, grinning because it was his entertainment most days. "Now, this class is both film study and P.E., so most weeks you'll watch a movie or show while you get fit. Sometimes the movie'll make sense, sometimes it won't." At least, not to Ronon.

"Only thing you gotta do each class is put on a uniform and try the activity. If you can't do it, see me. If you won't do it, we'll find you somethin' else. Today, you're all gonna fill out this paper thing," he held up an example, "and attach them to the front of your shirts before making some introductions. Now, go get your uniforms and we'll get started." He thumbed over his shoulder to the locker room doors.