fandomhigh | Entries tagged with adventuring

Were your teachers going to apologize for missing last week? No. Not at all. Don't be silly.

"Welcome back!" Jaskier said, with broad, dramatic arm gestures.

The egg nog on every tap might have been a bit much even for these seasoned functional alcoholics. They didn't want to talk about it. But that was then, and this was now. "Yes, welcome back!" Yennefer said with something that might even have been enthusiasm. "We brought you cookies!" Please, someone. Take some of the cookies.

"There are so many of them," Jaskier added, looking a little stressed about it.

"While you enjoy the cookies...and some of these leftover colas from yesterday..." Please. Nutrition, what was that? "We thought we would discuss what happens at the end of your travels."

"Should they end in a peaceable manner," Jaskier added. "And not, say, the removal of a limb."

Important distinction, that!

"Yes, try...try not to have that happen," Yennefer agreed, looking vaguely disturbed by her co-teacher. "How do you decide it's time to settle down? How do you go about doing so? Or should you simply stay on the road forever?"

Look, he traveled with Geralt. These things happened to people.

"So, let's discuss, shall we?" Jaskier suggested.

"And please," Yennefer added, "eat the cookies."

tellmehowstuffworks

There was a good sized pile of wood and good sized mix of supplies one might be able to use to start a fire. Which might have been a good hint at what the class was going to be about this week.

"So, on the road, you'll need a source of heat and light," Jaskier said. "If you don't have a room somewhere. Which is very possible."

"And apparently some people like to camp for fun," Yennefer put in. She could not relate, but. Some people. "So this will be a useful skill in that case as well. Now, if you have magic, of course you can just light the fire with that, but I know some of you are not so fortunate, and first you do have to build it properly. Jaskier will demonstrate." She certainly hoped he knew how to do this by now, at least.

"I will?" Oh no. "I mean. Of course I will!" Jaskier said quickly, definitely looking at the notes for class to help him with the process. Because other people usually did this part when he travelled, okay?

"Please practice your fire-building skills," Yennefer instructed the students. "First person to achieve a proper fire gets a prize." The prize was not having to fumble about with sticks any more. Okay, that and a bag of M&Ms.

tellmehowstuffworks

Today, only one of the teachers was standing at the front of the class. She had a small songbird of some description (look, she didn't know birds) twittering about her head trying to mess with her hair, which might answer the question of where the other teacher had gone.

No, she hadn't done it. Why would she do this to herself?

"I trust everyone who went to France had a good time in France," Yennefer said, "and those of you who did not go had a pleasant time wherever you were. When you are traveling, things may not always go as planned. Where I am from, being accosted by bandits is a very real possibility, although I am given to understand it is less of a risk in these parts." Boring. "But things can still go quite wrong." She held up a piece of paper and read off it in a mildly puzzled air, as if she didn't quite understand the words, "The hotel might lose your reservation, or your credit card might not work properly." She set the paper down. "So. What sort of difficulties can you think of that you might encounter on the road, and how can you prepare for them? Discuss." While she tried very hard not to commit witch-on-bird violence.

tellmehowstuffworks

"On your travels," Yennefer said to their students, "you are going to need money. There's no getting around it. There's also no getting around the fact that various realms don't have the decency to use the same currency." So annoying.

"At least here there's no worry on needing a new one." He was gonna be so annoyed on the Fall trip.

Should she tell him? She wasn't going to tell him. Instead she would tell the class, "You may be pleased to hear that the 'dollar' is 'up' against the 'euro.'" She didn't fully understand what that meant, but she understood the class might be pleased to hear it. "And really, who names these things? And why do they have to change? It used to be that four crowns were one bizant, and three ducats were one crown. Simple."

"Regime change?" Jaskier ventured. Because that'll do it if you asked him.

"That's bad enough," she agreed, "with all the new coins and whatnot, but apparently here the value of your money fluctuates day to day." Absolutely absurd.

"So, let's come up with a plan for such an event that causes you to need alternative currency!" Jaskier said, clapping his hands together.

"If your currency is in good hard coin, of course, you can simply trade on the value of the metal," Yennefer told the students. "If you use those slips of paper..." No, she had no idea how you did it. "Perhaps the credit cards do it automatically?"

"I'd assume as such?" Look, they had smartphones, but no grasp on modern banking.

"If you figure it out," Yennefer said, "do let us know." Ideally before they went to France.

tellmehowstuffworks

"Packing for a trip can be a daunting task," Jaskier said. "Because some people can't just magic everything places."

Pointed, Bard. Pointed.

Yennefer made a show of casually examining her nails as she agreed, "Yes, some of us are bound to what we can carry with us or sneak into Geralt's saddlebags whilst he's not looking." Then she looked up and said, "Of course, now you have those wheeled trunks..." What was the word? "suitcases, so I'm sure those help."

"So," Jaskier said, powering on through with an eye twitch. "Today will be about what one ought to bring on your adventures."

"Remember when planning your packing lists to take into account where you are going and what sorts of things you are likely to need there, and along the way," Yennefer suggested, "as well as whether or not you can really manage all of your belongings." She turned to Jaskier. "What have I forgotten?" On account of not having to actually carry her luggage from place to place.

"Only pack as much as you're willing to carry while fleeing an angry mob?" Ah, there was the Geralt influence.

Don't say it, Yennefer. Don't say it. "Or an angry husband?" She couldn't help herself, really.

"They stood in the way of love!" Jaskier protested just immediately. "Or could have simply... joined in."

Hopefully none of their students' parents were observing this. "Consider the provided packing list and what items you would add or delete. What is an absolute necessity for you that might not be for someone else? Discuss."

wrongkindofsith

This week the tavern was trashed and slightly ablaze. The culprits were easy to locate as they were terrorizing NPCakin behind the bar.

Also, the culprits were sentient giant olives and various cured sausages.

"So, perhaps this got out of hand," Jaskier ventured.

Maybe, but Cara was never going to admit it. "Sometimes defeating a foe has unforeseen consequences," she said instead. "As you can see, the brie had comrades who want to avenge it."

Delicious looking comrades.

"Oh no, they've killed the cracker monster!" Jaskier said, watching the scene they created with fascinated horror.

This was why they needed to come up with class after lunch. "Clearly someone must stop them the same way we defeated the brie."

"She means with fire," Jaskier said. "Preferably before they do more damage."

"But not too much fire." Burnt olives weren't all that palatable. "Consider it a lesson in moderation."

ohvalleyofpenis

They were back in the tavern again today, but something was off. There was a faint air of menace in the air. Menace, and for some reason, dairy.

Also, one of the teachers was hiding behind and over turned table. "Mistakes were made," Jaskier told the class. "We tried to make a monster to fight with the computer and instead--"

"We succeeded," Cara finished drily as a large form oozed through the door. It was a fat, flat cylinder as wide as the table Jaskier was hiding behind, and was covered in an irregular, bumpy white skin, and when a split opened in its side to let out an almost liquid growl, anyone brave enough to look could see the pale yellow inside of its mouth.

You were fighting a giant wheel of brie.

The brie lunged for NPCakin and started oozing at his arm.

Make that a carnivorous giant wheel of brie.

"So, well, if you all succeed in slaying the beast, we can have bread and preserves with it?" Jaskier suggested, skittering further away from the beast and leaving poor NPCakin to his gooey fate.

Yes, eat your prey. Do it.

"It'll probably be tastiest if you kill it with fire," Cara added.

wrongkindofsith

"Greetings, greetings!" Jaskier said once the class arrived to the danger shop. Which was back on that tavern look again. Possibly due to laziness. "Welcome back!"

"There won't be any singing this time," Cara assured them. "Once was enough."

" Maybe a bit later," he suggested hopefully.

"If they don't pay attention." Was that a threat or a promise? Who knew? "Last week we covered getting paid, but before you can get paid you first need to find adventure."

"A gig, if you will," Jaskier said. "Which can sometimes be as simple as going from town to town. But not always."

"Sometimes adventure will find you," Cara said. "Which isn't always a good thing." So many farm animals trapped up trees.

"So, today, we have a sample adventure in rescuing a local farmer's goats," Jaskier said brightly. "Though why he looks like the Dean I'm not certain."

"Does he?" Cara asked, all innocence as a distressed NPCakin stood under a tree full of goats.

ohvalleyofpenis

So, the class was back in that one tavern that they always seemed to go back to. Might be more of Magnus' lingering influence there. But this time there was a stage. Because Jaskier.

"Hello, hello!" Jaskier said cheerfully. "Welcome back to Adventures in Adventuring. That... that is the class name, right?"

Look, he was still getting there at being a teacher.

"Yes." Cara thought it was a stupid name, but she also didn't care enough to come up with a new one. "Today we're covering an important topic."

"Payment," Jaskier said with a very serious nod. "You can't just go about adventuring without payment. You'd starve and die within a month."

"Some people might argue a good deed is its own reward." Richard. "Those people are wrong."

"Now, you could get the payment up front, or you could threaten people into paying you once the job is done, but I've found that a bit of viral marketing does wonders to guilt people into paying for services rendered." Oh no, he had his lute out.

Oh no, indeed. "I think that falls under threats."

Way harsh, Cara.

Jaskier gasped at that, hand to his chest in hurt. "I'll have you know that it's my most famous of songs," he said, already started in the intro cords.

Let this be a lesson that famous wasn't the same as good, everyone.

ohvalleyofpenis

There wasn't a pirate ship or a tavern this week. Hold your disappointment, because it was a normal classroom with a TV set up. Which was the classic sign of a movie day.

"Rey usually picks these," Jaskier grumbled as he tried to figure out the controls here.

"So long as it's not the movie with the hockey and the ducks and the team spirit," Cara said. She missed Magnus, maybe, but not his taste in fiction.

Well, what popped up on the screen was a TV show about that. Did it help?

No. No it did not.

"I didn't pick it!" Jaskier objected quickly.

Cara looked tired. Very, very tired. "Just watch the thing."

wrongkindofsith

This week didn't find the class back in the tavern as before. Oh no, instead, it was on the high seas! Hopefully no one got sea sick easily.

"Today is about alternate forms of combat!" Jaskier shouted over the sound of the waves. Because wow, the programming was committed to being on the high seas.

"Sometimes violence isn't the answer," Cara added grudgingly. Not because she didn't think they weren't about to learn a valuable skill, but because this meant agreeing with Jaskier. "Sometimes you have to be subtle."

Of course, everyone here was in the wrong class for subtle.

What even was subtle? Don't know her.

"Seduction!" Jaskier said brightly. "Which is perfectly viable even with evil goat men, I've found." Ya'll better be glad it was Cara in this class and not Sea Hawk.

You'd already be singing Krampy Baby, guys.

"Your task today will be to convince the pirate captain to let you leave with your lives and most of your dignity intact," Cara said. "One way or another."

As if on cue, a second ship appeared along the one they were one and a bejewelled, pantless pirate swung over the side to land on the deck in a very rakish, dashing manner. "Time to surrender, sweet things!"

Cara frowned at the Danger Shop remote. She could've sworn she'd chosen a different pirate captain.

ohvalleyofpenis

Class began, as so many of Cara's recent classes had, in a bar. Or at least a simulation of one. However unlike the tavern Sim, her co-teacher was less familiar.

Which probably explained the grumpy expression.

"Welcome to Adventures in Adventuring," Jaskier said, totally rallying all his enthusiasm for her. "A class I hadn't been aware that I was teaching until today. But we're perfectly able to adapt, are we not, lovely co-teacher?"

Jaskier. Jaskier, no.

"I'm sure we will," Cara said through teeth that were just barely not clenched. "Somehow."

That 'somehow' did not bode well for anyone.

"First we ought to learn all your names, and then perhaps what sort of adventuring experience you have," Jaskier said, making the poor, poor choice of putting his hand on Cara's shoulder. Look. Look. He somehow got Geralt to accept his handsy affection. He thought it would work everywhere.

JASKIER, NO.

Cara smiled at Jaskier far, far too sweetly. "Or we could go with the traditional way of meeting people at the start of an adventure." At least traditional as explained by Magnus. "In a bar fight."

One started by, say, a squeaking bard flying across the bar to collide with the roughest looking tough in the room. Who promptly tossed him over the bartop and the entire simulated bar broke out into just complete chaos. So. You know. Have fun with that, everyone!

magnusrushesin

Your teachers might have looked a little tired for the last class of the summer. Even that NPC bartender looked a little tired too. Because it was shaping up to be A Week.

"Knew we should saved the movie for this week," Magnus whined gloomily. Which was not the usual Magnus. This was some 'some lich jackass stole my body' level gloom.

If Cara looked a little concerned it was entirely about Magnus's mood, she certainly had no issues of her own. At all. "So your final is going to involve a lot of punching."

What else were they going to do, talk about their feelings?

They could totally do both, you know. Not that Magnus wanted that or anything. "I made them look like liches. Because, for some reason, the machine got super confused when I tried to program an unending mass of darkness with gaping mouths and eyes. Which seems like a Bethesda thing."

"What he said." Which was a totally normal thing for Cara to reply with. "Apparently you can't attack the darkness."

"Not even with a Magic Missile," he agreed sadly.

"So instead you've got some liches who just need punching."

wrongkindofsith

Today there was a movie all queued up for the class. Because it was one of those days, folks. It was one if those days.

Also every time they'd tried starting up the tavern sim, NPCakin had started crying. Which, you know, awkward.

But the movie began to magically play once everyone was there because, it was possible, your teachers were on their own fun adventure somewhere else. Or they maybe got arrested. Which was also an adventure!

The kind of adventure that ended (or maybe started) with vast amounts of property destruction.

So, enjoy watching a movie that may not have aged well!

magnusrushesin

The tavern seemed perfectly normal this time around, no weird traps or anything like that. Which could be considered suspicious if one was prone to thinking that way.

"Today we're gonna talk about diplomacy in the pursuit of getting your way," Magnus announced.

Were those the cries of an angry rogue archeologist in the distance? Possibly. She should have locked up those class ideas better to keep these bozos out.

"After all, sometimes it's more effective to imply potential violence than to actually commit it." No prizes for guessing where Cara fell on the persuade/intimidate spectrum.

"Intimidation check," Magnus supplied helpfully. "Or you could rely on charisma. Which is way, way more difficult. For me. And her."

Cara could be charismatic when she wanted to...which was pretty much never. "So why waste the effort when it's easier to do what you're good at?" Because most people didn't have a +5 to scary, Cara.

"So, today you're gonna test out your skills on the bartender!" A gruff NPC with a heart of gold, no doubt.

Or electronic Tino, it really depended on who programmed them.

wrongkindofsith

So, the usual tavern was set up like this was a very high stakes game of The Floor Is Lava, but if anyone took a certain class with a certain archeologist---Aphra, it was Aphra---they'd know that this was all shamelessly stolen.

"It's fair use," Magnus assured everyone. "No copyright stuff or takedown notices, please."

"Exactly." Cara had learnt when to just smile and nod along. Well, nod along at least. "Today involves a test of skill and strength." And not laughing when your classmates slipped and fell.

"Prove your agility and strength!" Magnus added. "If you've got some magic gear, now is the time to bust them out."

"Especially if it's fireproof." What? It was fake fire.

"Let's get to it!" They should probably double check those safety protocols.

magnusrushesin

"Today, class were gonna talk about protection," Magnus said. "You know, the kind everyone wants when going out into the world these days."

"But not the sex kind," Cara helpfully added. "Mostly."

"That's important too," he agreed. "Super important. But a different class. It's armor day!"

Did he jam some armor in that 'magic' barrel from the weapons day? Yes. Yes, he did.

"Choosing the right armor is a balancing act between protection and movement," Cara said. "There's no point in wearing full plate if you're just going to stand there and get stabbed."

"And sometimes it affects your other stats," Magnus said like that meant anything to anyone else. "So, let's figure out your AC!"

Again, that meant nothing.

"Just humour him," Cara said in a stage whisper.

magnusrushesin

Well, your teachers were meant to be here, class. Heck, they'd even gone out to try scouting for a place to take you all on an adventure. But that scouting had been done via the new Dodo Airline and they didn't have the Nook Miles to get them home.

Also, someone might have threatened the pilot (Cara) and someone had been stung repeatedly by the tarantulas (Magnus). So. Maybe it was best that you got some free time to go collect more materials for crafting.

Which was why there was a slightly drunk squirrel attempting to write 'Class is cancelled' on the board and failing.

He was doing his best, okay?

magnusrushesin

"So, uh. It's real, real hot out," Magnus said. Magnus was wearing swim shorts and some pauldrons. Because of course he was.

"And none of you are suitably attired for adventuring." Whereas, obviously she could take on the world with the handful of undergarments she still possessed and her agiels.

"Weapons! We mean weapons," Magnus said, showing off his axe. "Which'll help you decide what class you are."

"Nothing ends an adventuring party faster than its members not playing to their strengths." Cara, you were a dual wielding DPS under the mistaken impression you were a tank.

"So reach into this magic barrel that I found and get your weapon!"

This could only end with some tetanus.

Look, kids. It was much too hot for your teachers to come up with a better plan. Also Magnus was there.

wrongkindofsith

There were still puppies in the tavern, because Cara continued to make the fatal mistake of letting Magnus set up the Danger Shop. He rolled too high for puppy checks for it to not be fudging those numbers a little bit.

"Today's the last class of the semester," Magnus and his lil' puppy said. "And we had a final prepared, scantrons, number two pencils, the whole deal!"

"Yet, somehow we ended up with puppies," Cara said dryly.

"Yes," he agreed eagerly. One of the puppies yipped in response.

"So instead your final is going to involve puppies." Somehow, give her a moment to think.

"We can put hats in them," he suggested suddenly. "Oh my god, party composition. That's such a good idea."

So you don't end up being literally the only fighter in a party of all magic users.

"What, have them make the best group of puppies?" Cara, you knew Magnus was just going to fall into the sarchasm there.

Tumbled right on in! "Yesssss."

Cara could just tell she was going to regret this. "Apparently you're creating the best group of dogs."

A truly impossible final because all dogs were best dogs.

wrongkindofsith

The NPC-filled tavern was the same as always for once. Although there was just a very minor tweak in that there were some oddly scumbag prank accoutrement scattered throughout.

"Spring break is comin' up fast and man do we need it," Magnus said.

"As evidenced by today's class," Cara added. She was judging herself deeply for it.

"They're not our best goofs," he admitted. "We can do better than this."

"Or we can make you try to do better," Cara said. "As geese." Because through the magic of the Danger Shop, you were about to be turned into geese. Or forced into life-like holographic geese costumes. Same difference. Surprise.

"Ohhh! Like that video game!" Magnus, no.

"Video game?" Cara had just had real life experiences with geese. They were bastards.

"You know, that one game!" Magnus said like that would jog her memory. "I don't know the name of it, but I'm also not the video games journalism boy in this family."

What?

wrongkindofsith

You were in for a treat today kids, as the class was combining the two best things, booze and boardgames. Of course the booze wasn't real, but details.

"It's time to play a board game that doesn't take five hours or cause you to flip a table," Magnus said. "So, not Monopoly or Catan."

Cara started flipping through her notes. And kept flipping. "Or any of these." It was a long list.

"Uno, Guess Who?--really?" He asked.

"Tino knows what he did," Cara muttered under her breath. "Here's one." A whole one game. Go team them.

"It's Operation. And some of the pieces are actually stuck in there." Magnus shuffled awkwardly. "We're not happy either."

"I mean we could've set it up some kind of sim, but apparently that's not allowed." It would be too 'traumatising' or something.

"And messy!" Magnus, no. "Did I tell you about the time I cleft a man in twain? Longways!"

"From the top or the bottom?" Because the boys in the class really needed that mental image.

"Top. But now I gotta try the other way." Your teachers, kids. Your teachers.

Bet you couldn't wait for that damaged board game now.

wrongkindofsith

Today, the danger shop was done up to look like a classic movie planet for both aesthetic and, you know, shameless IP theft.

"Spoooky," Magnus said, looking around. Like he hadn't helped with it or something.

Was there an ominous skittering in the background? Probably. "Today's adventure involves managing two resources," Cara looked at her notes. "...lasers and feelings. Because those are two things that often go together."

"Like science stuff is for lasers, and feelings stuff is for feelings! You get it, right?" How would they possibly get it with that terrible explanation, Maggie? "I'll pass out the worksheet."

"In any case you'll have to use either your laser science or your feeling... feelings to solve today's problem." There was definitely a lot of skittering going on.

The skittering was also somehow gooey? Which was A Thing.

"Let's get to exploring, party!"

Surely nothing bad would happen!

magnusrushesin

The Danger Shop was the usual tavern, but it looked decidedly different today. Crisp white tablecloths covered the bar and tables, there were flower arrangements everywhere, and calming string music played softly, and your teachers were dressed in terribly formal looking clothing.

"Sometimes adventures mean going outside your comfort zone," an extremely uncomfortable looking Cara said.

Magnus had a tuxedo on. But no sleeves. Because Magnus. "That involves lots of talking and not punching."

"Because apparently the 'diplomatic option' is the better one." Cara sounded deeply dubious.

"So, we've got some cards to help you figure out what you're gonna do here. I'm apparently the dashing war hero, returning to a penniless family, who secretly loves a girl with no proper connections."

"And I'm the meddling social butterfly from old money, attempting to prevent a shocking scandal...or am I?" And she could not be more thrilled if she tried.

"Nice," Magnus said, immediately holding up a hand for a high-five. "Now, remember. Who you rolled last week is still who you are here."

So. Enjoy that.

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Entries tagged with adventuring

The Adventuring Life, Friday Period 3

The Adventuring Life, Friday Period 3

The Adventuring Life, Friday Period 3

The Adventuring Life, Friday Period 3

The Adventuring Life, Friday Period 3

Adventures in Adventuring, Thursday, 5th Period

Adventures in Adventuring, Thursday - 5th Period

Adventures in Adventuring, Thursday, 5th Period

Adventures in Adventuring, Thursday - 5th Period

Adventures in Adventuring, Thursday - 5th Period

Adventures in Adventuring, Thursday, 5th Period

Adventures in Adventuring, Thursday - 5th Period

Happy Funtime Friend Adventures, Thursday Period 2

Happy Funtime Friend Adventures, Thursday Period 2

Happy Funtime Friend Adventures, Thursday

Happy Funtime Friend Adventures, Thursday Period 2

Happy Funtime Friend Adventures, Thursday

Happy Funtime Friend Adventures, Thursday

Happy Funtime Friend Adventures, Thursday

Wisdom is a Dump Stat: Adventuring for Beginners, Thursday, Period 3

Wisdom is a Dump Stat: Adventuring for Beginners, Thursday, Period 3

Wisdom is a Dump Stat: Adventuring for Beginners, Thursday, Period 3

Wisdom is a Dump Stat: Adventuring for Beginners, Thursday, Period 3

Wisdom is a Dump Stat: Adventuring for Beginners, Thursday, Period 3

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