Fandom High School

"Good afternoon," Vala greeted the students as they entered the Danger Room Shop, sitting on the console next to what could be considered a basket for tribute. Just because she was no longer a warlord is no reason not to accept gifts if they were willingly offered. "Welcome to our last class session together. Which by no means you shouldn't still stop by my...well, I don't quite have an office, but if you need me for something, leave a note at the radio station or on my voice mail, and I'll get back to you."

Surrounding Vala were a number of assorted vehicles, from bicycles to motorcycles to flashy sports cars to rickshaws and old pickup trucks and non-descript sedans. For the more futuristically inclined, there were also a number of swoop bikes and speeders, as well as other flying devices. No large ships, though.

"Today, we'll be discussing how to make a getaway. Often, when you're planning a heist treasure hunting expedition, you'll need to do some research before the event, as well as traveling in preparation and during the expedition. You'll need to be as inconspicuous as possible, of course, so you'll want to choose a vehicle that blends in with both who you've decided to be and with the area you're researching."

"However, you also want to be sure that your vehicle can get you away from wherever you are, again as inconspicuously as possible, but also quickly. Obviously, these things do not always go smoothly or predictably, and you'll want to be able to get away if at all possible. Things to consider include conspicuousness, available fuel, and maneuverability, and whether or not it's large enough to carry the treasure you're finding. Today, you'll be telling me which vehicle you would choose and why, then drive your chosen vehicle around an obstacle course--if you choose to have someone with you as your driver, make sure it's someone you trust implicitly."

She cleared her throat. "Anyway, I just wanted to thank you for being a wonderful class and I wish you good luck." She paused. "And a cut of any proceeds."

[ooc: OCD coming is up! And this was always in the right place!]

As the students gathered, they'd probably notice Vala studying a large piece of floor plan very intently. That it looked like the Natural Museum of History in Washington, DC was probably just a fluke. As was the glass cutter she kept playing with. She glanced up as the students approached and rolled up the blueprints quickly.

"Good afternoon, class. Now, assuming you've gotten your treasure, and either not gotten caught or talked your way out of your incarceration, you're going to want to sell this merchandise, and you're going to want to do it quickly. So, the first thing you're going to need is a resale artisan. They are the people with the connections to the market you're looking for--you may get a generalist, or you may get someone who specializes. What's important is that they have access to a large number of buyers without a lot of publicity. Trustworthiness is nice, but not essential."

"When establishing a relationship, you're going to need to provide authentication for whatever it is that you're trying to sell--to prove that you are who you say you are and that you acquired your item in a lawful manner, with the papers and receipts to prove it." She cleared her throat, "Unfortunately, however, sometimes these papers get misplaced and have to be produced on very short notice, without time to get a replacement from the proper authorities or selling agents. In which case, it becomes necessary, to, uh, recreate the documentation from memory. Yes. Which is what we'll be doing today."

"Over there," she pointed to some tables with various computers, printers, and art supplies, "are some very crude implements for creating documentation from scratch or for altering already existing documentation. I expect you to produce something to prove to me either that you are who you say you are or that you have rightful ownership of whatever it is you're selling me. Go to it!"

[OCD is up in a sec! Thanks to vkandis_son for the inspiration!]

The class had been handwavily instructed to report to the Danger Room Shop for today's class. Vala was looking especially smug as she played with the dials on the machine and munched on an apple.

"Hello," she greeted them cheerfully, "and welcome to what I'm sure will be an enlightening afternoon for you. Today we will be dealing with how to obtain your treasure or priceless artifact, once you've located it. As I'm sure you probably already know, in many instances, people who collect priceless and historically important artifacts and works of art tend to have elaborate security systems protecting these items and making it more difficult--but, and this is important, not impossible--for an enterprising individual such as one of you to obtain or liberate them."

"So, in today's class, there will be a number of scenarios programmed into the trust computer imaging system here, and your assignment will be to free it from its unfortunate incarceration. Please be aware that there will be a number of alarm systems and surprises along the way. There is also a table with tools," she gestured towards a number of burglary tools that were nicely arrayed on a table at the side of the room in Vanna White-esque fahion, "should you require them. Also, feel free to ask any questions along the way, and either my charming minion-er, assistant-or myself will answer you as soon as we can."

[ooc: Please hold for OCD. *la la la la lalalalala* *shuts off hold music* Play away!]

As the students arrived, they would probably notice a woman clad in form-fitting black leather perched on a picnic table, swinging her feet as she waited for them to arrive. Some students, if they had met her, might be shocked at the woman's resemblance to Aeryn Sun.

Not that Vala knew the girl's last name, but that wasn't the point.

"Good afternoon, class. My name is Vala Mal Doran and I'll be your instructor for this class. As you know, this class will be about how to make your living as an interdimensional space pirate."

"Now, the first question you may have is why you would want to be an interdimensional space pirate, er, treasure hunter, in the first place. Clearly, you have much to learn if this is your question--because first, it's about fun. There's excitement, and danger, and your adrenaline rushes, and it's a wonderful feeling to know that you have done your best at every step of the process, and that the money you hold in your hand at the end of the day has been if not precisely honestly earned...well, you still have it in your hand, so it hasn't been used as bribes or bail money, and that's always a bonus."

"But enough about me," she said, getting up and wandering around, "I want to know about you--your names, where you're from, how long it takes to get there, the most convenient travel route, and any valuable or mythical objects that, if you were from your universe, you would attempt to appropriate and sell. Also, if you know of any pitfalls to obtaining these objects, either mystical or legal, please feel free to elaborate."

"Don't be shy," she coaxed, after a minute, "Who would like to go first?"

[ooc: Please wait for OCD is up!]

[daughter of ooc: Going to run errands for a few hours, will pick up pings when I get back.]