Fandom High School

Class was meeting in the Danger Shop, which was set up an awful lot like an ordinary classroom.

Aphra stood up. "Welcome to your final, where you tell me all about what you learnt from this class," she said cheerfully, then sat back down, looking attentive.

After about two minutes, Aphra flickered, then stood up again. "Welcome to your final, where you tell me all about what you learnt from this class," she said cheerfully, then sat back down, looking attentive. Again.

After about three loops, they'd probably be able to realise what was happening.

Aphra looked far, far too amused for her own good when the class came in.

"So kids, time to tell each other all about your weekends."

Today's lesson was about saving face. Also Aphra being a terrible person.

Aphra looked totally chill when teh class showed up to the Danger Shop today.

"Look, kids, regardless of how you feel about telling the truth, it's important to know when someone is lying to you. You know, like when they say things like 'this job's legit', or 'cult, what cult?', or 'you don't need to bring your weapons'." Or ' Of course I didn't load the wrong simulation'.

Not that the last of those had anything to do with the tentacles that just burst through the floor. At all.

Surprise?

"Good news, kids, today you're only going to tell the truth." Wait for the catch, because of course there was going to be one. "Because sometimes the most dishonest lies are the ones composed of selective truths. For example, if a government removes, restricts or subverts any method of public protest, then they can claim the public agrees with them, someone tries to point out that that's because they can't disagree, well, they can be ignored because they didn't use the proper channels for their complaint.Statistics are great for this. There are so many ways those can be manipulated, it'd be a class in an of itself."

Aphra gestured around the room. "So today you have to come up with the most outrageous falsehoods you can think of, and try to get your classmates to believe them without actually saying anything that isn't true."

Aphra had the projector back up, because of course she did.

"Okay, kids, time for some real talk about why you need to learn this stuff," she said. "I'm an archaeologist, and by the time I hit double digits the major governing body of my galaxy completed its slow slide into fascist totalitarianism, and between those two things I can tell you this. Truth doesn't exist. No such objective thing. There are facts, sure, and data, but those can be interpreted and spun so many ways, and even if you're trying with the best intention the majority of people don't actually give a hyperspace kriff about them, not if someone's spinning a story they like. And once a story gets traction, then good luck convincing people it's not the truth.

"Thing is, it's not always the big lies that'll catch you. They'll usually get enough people upset enough to argue against those until the heat death of the universe. It's all the little lies that support the big ones that get lost through the cracks, and eventually you'll be so busy patting yourself on the back about spotting the big lie that you don't even notice you're believing a whole lot of small truths that aren't very."

"Anyway, watch the holo, apparently people find them more trustworthy than me."

[Link goes to Folding Ideas video on propganda and Triumph of the Will. Consider that your heads up.]

Aphra wasn't in class today, because Aphra was the worst.

There was however, a projector and a note on the board.

"The important thing to remember about lying, is don't get caught out like this idiot did."

Again. The actual worst.

Aphra showed up to class late. And very visibly hungover. Things were clearly off to a great start.

She chugged back her caf before speaking. "Look, there are three options here. Either you want to learn to lie, which you're gonna, you missed the part where the name of the class is ironic, so it sucks to be you, or there was a paperwork error and it really sucks to be you.

"I don't really want to be here today, and I doubt most of you do either, so I'll be quick. Honesty is great in principle, but it doesn't work because people. People are jerks, people's feelings get hurt, people really don't like it when you point out they've karked something up or they're wrong. Lies help smooth things out, lies protect you, especially when you come from the kind of galaxy I do, lies are useful. You just have to know how to use them right.

"It's the first class, so introduce yourselves to each other. Lie. But not about everything. See if you can figure out which is which. But, you know, quietly."