Tuesday, May 29 - Period 3 - Advanced Beginner's Guide to just make something up, honestly

[sizzler-sisters.livejournal.com]

"We have done it!" cried one Jerry.

"We have found it!" shouted the other.

They were inside the Activities Area, running around in cheerful circles and flailing their arms. So, just like always, but with happy instead of panic.

"We have discovered the key to decoding the secrets of the universe!"

"It is here! It is ours! We have brought it to you, Jerry!"

"The Rosetta Stone!"

"The Extended Metaphor!"

"The Four for Old Times' Sake!"

"The Seattle Times!"

"The Times New Roman!"

"The Times Old Roman!"

"Behold!" Both Jerries swept their arms dramatically, revealing ...



... an orange-and-white kitten, lounging on a cushion, cheerfully eating a pen.

"THIS IS NO ORDINARY CAT!" cried one Jerry.

"This is ... THE ORACLE!" cried the other.

The Retarded Kitten Oracle yawned and set his chin on his paws. The wig-people were loud and it was his naptime.

"We have asked it many questions, Jerry."

"It always tells the truth!"

"It only tells the truth!"

"It cannot tell a lie!"

"It cannot lie down!"

The Retarded Kitten Oracle blinked a few times. Was it food time?

"For this month's issue of Investigative Abnormalities Weekly, you will be speaking directly with the Oracle. Ask questions about your future, the lottery, the fate of the world!"

"Ask questions about which microwaveable snack treat is transmitting pop songs into your mind."

"Ask questions about yourself, and be amazed at the results!"

The Retarded Kitten Oracle stuck his tongue out a little bit. He was having a good day. Every day was a good day when you were a Retarded Kitten.

"Now go! And report back! Have the files to us by six-thirty or you will be fired, Jerry!"



[OOC: OCD'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes ... OCD is up. Play on.]

Comments

SIGN IN!

[sizzler-sisters.livejournal.com]

In English or cat, either one.

Re: SIGN IN!

[imissmydolphin.livejournal.com]

Lucas Wolenczak. Meow.

Boggle, Chat, Probably the Former

[sizzler-sisters.livejournal.com]

Seriously. I mean, seriously.

Re: Boggle, Chat, Probably the Former

[imissmydolphin.livejournal.com]

"I feel like my IQ drops more and more each week because of this class," he said to no one in particular.

Re: Boggle, Chat, Probably the Former

[fat-halpert.livejournal.com]

"Well, now I know why they weren't in the store," Jim said to himself. "They were out capturing a kitten. I hope they don't try to eat it."

Re: Boggle, Chat, Probably the Former

[chasingsnitches.livejournal.com]

Cedric Brick...has no words. He just has many, many faces.

Re: Boggle, Chat, Probably the Former

[turtle-techie.livejournal.com]

Donatello was okay with kittens. They were at least cute. "This place is so weird."

Re: Boggle, Chat, Probably the Former

[narglette.livejournal.com]

Luna stared at the kitten for a while.

She wondered if it was a student.

Speak to the Retarded Kitten Oracle

[sizzler-sisters.livejournal.com]

You would be surprised by what he knows. And chooses to reveal. Seriously surprised.

Re: Speak to the Retarded Kitten Oracle

[dark_slippy_thing]

Valentine wasn't too concerned about learning the profound secrets of life today, so he decided to stick with something random and of less imporance.
"Well, hello there, Puss. What are your thoughts on boxes?"

Re: Speak to the Retarded Kitten Oracle

[fat-halpert.livejournal.com]

"Hey, cat. How did the Sizzlers get you here, anyway?" Jim asked.

Re: Speak to the Retarded Kitten Oracle

[stuckeyboy]

. . . Everything else in Fandom was apparently real. Why should Warren question a psychic retarded kitten?

Besides. It was really, really cute. "Hi there."

Re: Speak to the Retarded Kitten Oracle

[chasingsnitches.livejournal.com]

"You're very cute," Brick said. "Are my grandfathers being nice to you?"

He didn't know if the Jerries would remember the whole familial thing but it was fun.

Re: Speak to the Retarded Kitten Oracle

[bruiser-in-pink.livejournal.com]

Molly didn't really believe that the kitten was an oracle. If the Jerries said it was so, it was pretty much guaranteed not to be.

So, she just used one of the questions that they had given as an example.

"Oh, great Oracle!" she intoned dramatically. "What is the fate of the world?"

Re: Speak to the Retarded Kitten Oracle

[sarcasm-guy.livejournal.com]

"Awwwww....." Sokka squee'd over the kitten. And inadvertently asked the Oracle a deep, meaningful question. "Who's a kitty? Yeah, who's a cute kitty? Are you a kitty?"


[OOC: Do I get bonus points for typing that -- okay, the first part of that, he's a squirmy butt -- with the Retarded Kitten Oracle on my lap?]

Re: Speak to the Retarded Kitten Oracle

[turtle-techie.livejournal.com]

Approaching the kitten, Donnie lowered his voice a little as he asked, "Kitten, is Leo okay? Wherever he is?"

Re: Speak to the Retarded Kitten Oracle

[narglette.livejournal.com]

Luna approached the kitten with gentle caution.

You could never be sure when a cute furry face would be hiding an otherwise masked killer. Just sayin'. ;)

Re: Speak to the Retarded Kitten Oracle

[lovesrenoir.livejournal.com]

Animal wandered into class.

Actually he didn't really belong here at all.

However once he saw the cat it was all over.

"FOOD!"

Write Up Your Results

[sizzler-sisters.livejournal.com]

Make it into a nice article and pretend the Jerries will read it. Hahahahahaha.

Re: Write Up Your Results

[sarcasm-guy.livejournal.com]

Sokka wrote,

This is my article on the Oracle, which is mine, and it is this, my article, which is as follows:

I have stolen your donkeys.

Re: Write Up Your Results

[narglette.livejournal.com]

Luna left the Jerries a gum wrapper, folded in half.

Our Illustrious TA

[sizzler-sisters.livejournal.com]

Wait for Hamlet, Crown Prince of Mexifinway, to sign in.



*uses this icon for maximum confusion*

Re: Our Illustrious TA

[ihatedenmark.livejournal.com]

Hamlet was here, this time wearing a name that looked like it had been filled out by letting the kitten push a pen on it. Which is what had happened.

You could be goth and emo, and still think that kittens were utterly adorable.


*uses same icon for continued confusion, you icon stealing thief. :p *

Talk to the Jerries

[sizzler-sisters.livejournal.com]

You poor bastard.

Play With the Retarded Oracle Kitten

[sizzler-sisters.livejournal.com]

Seriously. It's a kitten.

Re: Play With the Retarded Oracle Kitten

[chasingsnitches.livejournal.com]

Brick couldn't help it, he scratched the kitty's tummy. So cute!

OOC

[sizzler-sisters.livejournal.com]

The Retarded Oracle Kitten is actually named Chase. No, he's not an Oracle. Yes, he's really a retarded kitten. And the hand in the picture belongs to one of the students in this class. SHHHH DON'T TELL.

Re: OOC

[lovesrenoir.livejournal.com]

Mind if Animal crashes class?