Tuesday, May 29 - Period 3 - Advanced Beginner's Guide to just make something up, honestly

[sizzler-sisters.livejournal.com]

"We have done it!" cried one Jerry.

"We have found it!" shouted the other.

They were inside the Activities Area, running around in cheerful circles and flailing their arms. So, just like always, but with happy instead of panic.

"We have discovered the key to decoding the secrets of the universe!"

"It is here! It is ours! We have brought it to you, Jerry!"

"The Rosetta Stone!"

"The Extended Metaphor!"

"The Four for Old Times' Sake!"

"The Seattle Times!"

"The Times New Roman!"

"The Times Old Roman!"

"Behold!" Both Jerries swept their arms dramatically, revealing ...



... an orange-and-white kitten, lounging on a cushion, cheerfully eating a pen.

"THIS IS NO ORDINARY CAT!" cried one Jerry.

"This is ... THE ORACLE!" cried the other.

The Retarded Kitten Oracle yawned and set his chin on his paws. The wig-people were loud and it was his naptime.

"We have asked it many questions, Jerry."

"It always tells the truth!"

"It only tells the truth!"

"It cannot tell a lie!"

"It cannot lie down!"

The Retarded Kitten Oracle blinked a few times. Was it food time?

"For this month's issue of Investigative Abnormalities Weekly, you will be speaking directly with the Oracle. Ask questions about your future, the lottery, the fate of the world!"

"Ask questions about which microwaveable snack treat is transmitting pop songs into your mind."

"Ask questions about yourself, and be amazed at the results!"

The Retarded Kitten Oracle stuck his tongue out a little bit. He was having a good day. Every day was a good day when you were a Retarded Kitten.

"Now go! And report back! Have the files to us by six-thirty or you will be fired, Jerry!"



[OOC: OCD'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes ... OCD is up. Play on.]

Comments

Speak to the Retarded Kitten Oracle

[sizzler-sisters.livejournal.com]

You would be surprised by what he knows. And chooses to reveal. Seriously surprised.

Re: Speak to the Retarded Kitten Oracle

[dark_slippy_thing]

Valentine wasn't too concerned about learning the profound secrets of life today, so he decided to stick with something random and of less imporance.
"Well, hello there, Puss. What are your thoughts on boxes?"

Re: Speak to the Retarded Kitten Oracle

[sizzler-sisters.livejournal.com]

The Retarded Kitten Oracle looked up at Valentine expectantly. Then he blinked a few times.

He stuck his tongue out and squeezed his eyes shut happily.

Re: Speak to the Retarded Kitten Oracle

[fat-halpert.livejournal.com]

"Hey, cat. How did the Sizzlers get you here, anyway?" Jim asked.

Re: Speak to the Retarded Kitten Oracle

[sizzler-sisters.livejournal.com]

The Retarded Kitten Oracle yawned. And then being meowing in a thoroughly conversational way. With lots of purrs and whistles thrown in.

Then he got back to the important business of chewing on a pen.

Don't mind the icon. The Retarded Kitten Oracle often found himself ferried around in bags, because he liked to sleep in them. He enjoyed his little trips. But the Jerries had totally carried him.

Re: Speak to the Retarded Kitten Oracle

[fat-halpert.livejournal.com]

"One more question, oh wise retarded kitten," Jim requested. "What are my lucky lottery numbers for tonight?"

It was worth a shot.

Re: Speak to the Retarded Kitten Oracle

[stuckeyboy]

. . . Everything else in Fandom was apparently real. Why should Warren question a psychic retarded kitten?

Besides. It was really, really cute. "Hi there."

Re: Speak to the Retarded Kitten Oracle

[sizzler-sisters.livejournal.com]

The Retarded Kitten Oracle squeezed his eyes shut happily and stuck his tongue out. He rolled onto his back in a way that suggested that nobody had rubbed his belly in ages and that was possibly the cruelest thing ever.

Re: Speak to the Retarded Kitten Oracle

[stuckeyboy]

Warren was more than happy to rub the poor Retarded Kitten's belly for it.

Re: Speak to the Retarded Kitten Oracle

[chasingsnitches.livejournal.com]

"You're very cute," Brick said. "Are my grandfathers being nice to you?"

He didn't know if the Jerries would remember the whole familial thing but it was fun.

Re: Speak to the Retarded Kitten Oracle

[sizzler-sisters.livejournal.com]

The Retarded Kitten Oracle beamed. He liked being complimented, even though he didn't have the brain capacity to know when he was, because let's face it, he was dimmer than the Jerries and that's saying something.

He sniffed towards Cedric and mrrrrred.

Re: Speak to the Retarded Kitten Oracle

[chasingsnitches.livejournal.com]

Cedric held his hand out. "Who's cuter than you?"

Re: Speak to the Retarded Kitten Oracle

[bruiser-in-pink.livejournal.com]

Molly didn't really believe that the kitten was an oracle. If the Jerries said it was so, it was pretty much guaranteed not to be.

So, she just used one of the questions that they had given as an example.

"Oh, great Oracle!" she intoned dramatically. "What is the fate of the world?"

Re: Speak to the Retarded Kitten Oracle

[sizzler-sisters.livejournal.com]

The Retarded Kitten Oracle yowled sadly. There was a door somewhere that was shut, and he was on the wrong side of it. Someone should open all the doors so that he could always be right where he needed to be: standing in the doorway, letting all the cold air out, with his tail flicking around excitedly.

Re: Speak to the Retarded Kitten Oracle

[sarcasm-guy.livejournal.com]

"Awwwww....." Sokka squee'd over the kitten. And inadvertently asked the Oracle a deep, meaningful question. "Who's a kitty? Yeah, who's a cute kitty? Are you a kitty?"


[OOC: Do I get bonus points for typing that -- okay, the first part of that, he's a squirmy butt -- with the Retarded Kitten Oracle on my lap?]

Re: Speak to the Retarded Kitten Oracle

[sizzler-sisters.livejournal.com]

The Retarded Kitten Oracle chattered happily. He knew this one! He was, he was, he was!

He liked Sokka. Okay, he liked everybody, because he was The Retarded Kitten Oracle, but he liked Sokka extra-good. Almost like food.



(OOC: YES YOU DO *squee*)

Re: Speak to the Retarded Kitten Oracle

[sarcasm-guy.livejournal.com]

"YOU are! Yes you are! Yes, you are!!!"

Sokka proceeded to scritch the Oracle on the head.


[...Good food? Like ham?]

Re: Speak to the Retarded Kitten Oracle

[turtle-techie.livejournal.com]

Approaching the kitten, Donnie lowered his voice a little as he asked, "Kitten, is Leo okay? Wherever he is?"

Re: Speak to the Retarded Kitten Oracle

[sizzler-sisters.livejournal.com]

The Retarded Kitten Oracle looked at Donnie for a minute and then began chattering along for a few minutes. With whistles and purrs and yowls thrown in. And then The Retarded Kitten Oracle flopped onto his back and wriggled and hoped that tummy-rubs were forthcoming.

An optimist might say that The Retarded Kitten Oracle noticed Donnie was unhappy and was attempting to reassure him in some way, or at least cheer him up.

A pessimist might say that The Retarded Kitten Oracle liked to hear himself yowl and was finished talking now and would like some belly rubs please.

Re: Speak to the Retarded Kitten Oracle

[turtle-techie.livejournal.com]

Donnie smiled and reached out to rub the kitten's belly; it was way too cute to refuse, even if he hadn't really gotten an answer. "Awwww, aren't you adorable?"

Re: Speak to the Retarded Kitten Oracle

[narglette.livejournal.com]

Luna approached the kitten with gentle caution.

You could never be sure when a cute furry face would be hiding an otherwise masked killer. Just sayin'. ;)

Re: Speak to the Retarded Kitten Oracle

[sizzler-sisters.livejournal.com]

The Retarded Kitten Oracle seemed harmless enough. He thumped his tail a few times and mrowred at Luna curiously. She was a new person, and thus might totally rub his belly.

Re: Speak to the Retarded Kitten Oracle

[narglette.livejournal.com]

She held her hand out for the kitten to sniff.

She'd been on enough trips with her father to know this could be a dangerous gesture if the kitten wasn't all it seemed.

However, the rest of her class seemed to be intact, so she was willing to take her chances.

Re: Speak to the Retarded Kitten Oracle

[lovesrenoir.livejournal.com]

Animal wandered into class.

Actually he didn't really belong here at all.

However once he saw the cat it was all over.

"FOOD!"

Re: Speak to the Retarded Kitten Oracle

[sizzler-sisters.livejournal.com]

The Retarded Kitten Oracle didn't belong here either. But he chittered happily towards the big fuzzy red thing.

Maybe they could be friends!