fandomhigh | What NOT To Do In A Fight / Wednesday, Period III / Week I

It felt like the last time Ghanima had taught this class was a lifetime ago: one where she'd taught with a different Deadpool than the one currently running around, Ben Skywalker was a student and not a parent, and Shunsui was still teaching.

Who knew that five years was both nothing, and everything in the context of time?

Class was meeting - for today - in a standard classroom, instead of the Danger Shop or gym as one might expect. Ghanima was waiting at the front of the classroom, sitting on the teacher's desk and clad in a light tunic and slacks with her hair tied back in a ponytail. A very different look, from what students who had taken her classes before had come to expect.

"Welcome to 'What NOT to do in a Fight,'" she said, once everyone had shown up. "I am Lady Ghanima Atreides. You may refer to me as Lady Ghanima, Miss Ghanima, Miss Atreides, or whatever makes you feel most comfortable."

"This class is both academic and practical; deconstructing commonly-held perceptions and tropes perpetuated by the media, as well as learning basic self-defense and fighting techniques, how to take down an opponent as quickly as possible, and what your own limits are. Therefore, today we start with the basics: how to hit something 101, when it's ineffective, and knowing your own strength."

"Which is why I brought clowns for you to start with." Yes, yes she had, and Ghanima hopped off the desk to start taking them out of the supply closet where she'd hidden them. "It's mid-week the fall term of school, and you're probably either confused, pissed off, and/or sick of introductions already. You might as well take it out on something." Ghanima continued, a smile tugging at her lips. "Hence, the clowns. They're going to pop right back up after you slap them, as a demonstration of how ineffective such a technique is."

"So let's move the desks out of the way and get started."

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As if you've seen a clown!

Jalian d'Arsennette

Ahsoka Tano

Merrill

Gratuity Tucci

Rhys

Mara Jade

Ringo Noyamano

Shiemi Moriyama

Take notes, pass notes, wonder what the heck you've gotten yourself in to!

Oh yes, she's serious. You're skipping introductions and going right to work. Slap a clown, and watch it bounce right back up and SMILE at you. Pair up, if you like, or see how many clowns you can slap before the first one bounces back up to smack you in the face.

Jalian poked the...clown thing.

Then punched it and stepped on the head, so it couldn't get back up.

Ghanima raised an eyebrow. "That's one way of dealing with it," she said, tilting her head as she observed the situation. "--But are you planning to stand on its head forever?"

Jalian grinned. "I could put a hole in it."

With Mara in the class, Ahsoka couldn't openly use the Force to keep the clown from coming back up (she was a pragmatic sort, she liked the things she knocked down to stay own), but she could at least send it skidding across the room after she'd punched it so came up away from her.

"You now have enough time to get away, should you desire, or to plan another attack," Ghanima observed. "What would be your next move?"

"That depends on what its motive was in attacking," Ahsoka said, shrugging. "Though ideally, I would've put it down hard enough that I wouldn't need to make a next move to begin with."

Merrill honestly didn't expect the clown to even topple over, not with as bad as she was at physical confrontation. So she was surprised when it did, and then when it bounced back up --

"Oooooh, no. That isn't very -- that should be adorable and it isn't at all."

Would she get in trouble if she summoned vines to ensnare the thing?

"It's rather disconcerting, isn't it?" Ghanima observed, watching Merrill. "If hitting it doesn't work, what would you try next?"

"Well, I'm not very good with hitting in the first place," Merrill said slowly. And edged back away from the clown one or two very, very tiny steps. "Sometimes I miss altogether. Unless I'm using magic to hit things! I'm better at that sort of thing, asking the plants to do it for me. Maybe ones with thorns? Really sharp ones?"

"Well, I mean, it's also inanimate," Tip muttered, flicking the clown in the nose and watching it bob back and forth. "So . . . yeah, punching's not the best plan. . . ."

"Then what is the best plan?" Ghanima asked Tip. "Right now, you have the luxury of thinking through your options. This might be inanimate, but Fandom has had multiple instances of toys come to life, where violence was not a deterrent. What would you do if it was coming after you?"

"It doesn't have any legs," Tip pointed out. "I mean, the obvious weakness is that it's inflated. So . . . sharp things. But how is it actually going to attack, even? It doesn't weigh enough to pin you down and smother you."

Most of the non-finger gun type fights Rhys had been in were won through a combination of sheer luck, Jack interfering, Loader-bot showing up, or Rhy getting a concussion. But he liked to think he couldn't really lose against a clown doll... thing.

He was wrong.

After a few 'punches' that barely sent it rocking back, he really put his weight into it. And was smacked in the face by a vengeful clown. "I have not missed this," he whined up at the ceiling. Because getting up seemed like a poor choice.

Ghanima looked down at him, doing her best to keep a bemused smile off her face. "Does this happen to you often, then?"

"Oh, more recently lately," he said with a sigh, awkwardly shoving himself back up with his arm.

Stupid murder planets.

Mara stepped back, appraising what her classmates were doing and how effective it was.

She stepped up to the clown with a ballpoint pen and, with a smooth motion that was a little disconcerting in a teenager, punctured it right along the seam.

Problem solved!

"So you decided to skip the lesson in futility and go straight for lethal measures," Ghanima said, regarding the deflated clown with amusement. "Interesting choice."

"Well, it didn't have kneecaps," Mara said.

Shiemi stared at the clown. She had to hit it? This class was going to be hard; she didn't know how to hit things. She used Nee-chan in fights.

Besides... she liked clowns.

The blonde closed her eyes and, reaching her palm out, pushed at the clown.

She's around, if you have any questions!

This class was last taught Spring 2011. REALIZE HOW LONG AGO THAT WAS AND DESPAIR.

What NOT To Do In A Fight / Wednesday, Period III / Week I

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During the Lecture

Activity: Slap a Clown

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OOC