Ungulate Yoga, Tuesday, period 1

[betterthanaplan]

Duke was feeling much better after getting a good night's sleep. And doing some meditation that morning with the incense he'd gotten on the mainland helped, too. It'd helped so much, in fact, that when he got to his yoga class that morning and discovered the large above water pool that had been set up, he could only laugh.

"Porpoises," he said, when one of the pair of animals in the water swam up to greet him. "You don't even have feet," he told it, patting its little rounded face. "How the hell are you an ungulate?"

The porpoise spat a stream of water at him, and he laughed again.

When the students arrived, they were offered a set of pool noodles. "Hope no one minds getting wet," Duke called from where he was perched on the far edge of the pool. "Or is afraid of small whales. Today we're doing some aqua yoga. And, uh, careful around our new friends, here. They're not really meant to be kept in captivity. Hopefully they'll be released right after class, and have an exciting story to tell all their porpoise friends."

How to Tame a Willful Wife; Tuesday, Second Period [05/19].

[somethingwithturquoise]

Back in the home ec classroom, Summer was leaning against the front counter again as she waited for everyone to get in and get settled, with that look on her face that told everyone she was so ready to get into this again.

"Welcome baaaack," she said, drawling it out a little bit, as if amused that they'd even bothered but secretly quite a bit pleased that they had. "Hope you guys are ready for another thrilling and exciting class of dismantling the outdated and outmoded concepts of matrimony that have infested and poisoned this planet's culture since pretty much the get-go! But we might be jumping into this a little quickly; you'll have to forgive me, I tend to do that to a fault, so before we really dig our teeth deep into marriage, let's start first with a little bit of dating, shall we?

( Just as the vampire sucks the blood of its victims in their sleep while they are alive, so does the woman vampire suck the life and exhaust the vitality of her male partner – or 'victim'. )

"So as you can see," Summer then concluded, "this is a whole lot of garbage. Straight hot dumpster fire trash, in my humble opinion. But, since this is a class, let's actually discuss it. Do you feel differently? And if so, why do you feel some of these dating rules should still be upheld? Or do you agree completely? Also, definitely share any dating horror stories you may have about misguided rules, and compare some of these rules with the expectations that you have in your own worlds or cultures or whatever. Is there anything you're expected to follow in your culture that's not on the board that you think is garbage? How can you subvert it? Or any of these things, really. I mean, this class is basically me ranting, so now I guess it's your turn to rant or whatever. Because here? Your topics of conversation are just as important as anyone else's, dammit."

The Great Fandom Scavenger Hunt, Monday, Period Three

[jedigrammarians]

Today Aphra had told the class to meet her in the movie theatre today, where she already had a film cued up.

"You guys did great for your first try!" Nice and condescending there, Aphra. "But it's also important to see how a pro gets things done."

Storytelling and Song, Tuesday

[ohvalleyofpenis]

Jaskier was working his way through converting a Carly Rae Jepsen song to work on a lute thanks to Kathy introducing him to the wonder that was the internet. It was a work in progress.

"Hello, hello! Welcome back!" he said brightly. "Today we will discuss how one might turn the messy idea of truth to the glamorous world of song. Now, it may come as a surprise or disappointment to you to learn that one must make a few minor adjustments to story here and there in order to make it more palatable for the masses to consume. As no one likes to learn that they are the villains."

Bards: ye olde PR agents.

"So! Let us begin with choosing the correct subject matter for you!"

Yes, share with him the history of your people.

Black Magic Cookery!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! | Tuesday | Period 3

[bookbeltof_love]

"Good mooooooooooooooooooorning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Nina beamed at her class, pleased as punch that, presumably, they'd come back after last week! Each of the kitchen stations were set up just like last week, right down to the cups of five spices of her world (sugar, salt, soy sauce, mayo, and red pepper) and a carton of a dozen eggs.

"Don't worry," she said blithely, "we do cook with more than just eggs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But today we'll be covering what happens when you cook with two eggs instead of just one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

You would think you'd get double your ice cream or your pudding or whatever but you'd be deeply wrong.

"If you, like, happened to try this at home after class," Nina said, "then, like, I really hope you didn't try just doubling the recipe!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know that works for recipes from this world but it, like, really doesn't in my world because, like, making something with two eggs is meant to get you something totally different than making something with one egg……………

"So, like, a one egg recipe, like ice cream, can't be doubled just by adding another egg and you'll just, like, wind up with a total eggy mess!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Probably the sort of mess that people expected to make when they cooked her way, honestly.

"So, like, remember this: one egg equals ice cream while two eggs equals cake!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

And not just, like, a slice of cake. She was talking about an entire cake.

"Now, like, you have to be a little more particular before you move with the eggs for this recipe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Each seasoning is meant to lead to a different subcategory of cakes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If you just want cake, you're just going to want two eggs!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But, like, if you want shortcake of any sort, then you're going to want to use two eggs and a cupful of sugar!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Whereas, like, adding a cupful of mayo is going to get you cheesecake!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You'll get different kinds of cake if you add salt, soy sauce, or red pepper but, like, the three I've listed are the most popular subsets of cake!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Questions, anyone??????????????????? If not, then, like I'll demonstrate and then you can get started!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"