Summer Smith (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
somethingwithturquoise) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomhigh2020-05-19 05:35 am
somethingwithturquoise) wrote in fandomhigh2020-05-19 05:35 am
Entry tags:
How to Tame a Willful Wife; Tuesday, Second Period [05/19].
Back in the home ec classroom, Summer was leaning against the front counter again as she waited for everyone to get in and get settled, with that look on her face that told everyone she was so ready to get into this again.
"Welcome baaaack," she said, drawling it out a little bit, as if amused that they'd even bothered but secretly quite a bit pleased that they had. "Hope you guys are ready for another thrilling and exciting class of dismantling the outdated and outmoded concepts of matrimony that have infested and poisoned this planet's culture since pretty much the get-go! But we might be jumping into this a little quickly; you'll have to forgive me, I tend to do that to a fault, so before we really dig our teeth deep into marriage, let's start first with a little bit of dating, shall we?
"Now, I know I said we'd be delving into both mid-century and Victorian era advice for this class, but as far as dating goes? The Victorians and turn-of-the-century folks had it down pretty good. It's a lot of stuff like, 'hey, don't be an ass' and 'don't try to impress a lady by blowing all your cash on her right on the gate because that's really going to lead to some disappointment down the road' and even 'hey, ladies, don't go running into traffic.' They even had a whole system of fan signals that women could use to try and give the guy hints as to whether or not she was interested in his advances or if she was totally friendzoning him, and there was a trend of these little invite cards that said things like, 'hey, we just got this new lamp, come on over and I'll show you just how low the lighting can go, P.S. our sofa just fits two,' which is basically a smooth-ass way to text 'yo, my parents aren't home' or 'guess who just got a single room this semester' before the advent of telephones. When it came to dating, these guys were legit experts in subverting the social constraints of society, and it makes me wonder why any of them ever decided to ruin it by going and getting married.
"Although, they did have the advice of 'downplaying your talents,' because god forbid your future husband saw how talented and bright and capable you were, and found it to be a turn-off. Fuck that guy.
"Anyway, let's get to the mid-century, then, where things were sort of a different story, and dating was dictated by all sorts of ridiculous rules that young people today are still finding it difficult o break away from, but really, really, should..."
She turned to the board, pointing out the first point, and clearing her throat.
"'Making the first move.' This is a task reserved only for guys, and any woman making a first move was considered a floozy, and that is complete trash, because, ninety percent of the time, if I didn't make the first move, nothing was getting done. This whole idea that a guy has to make the first move? Why? If you like someone, go for it. Who cares? I've missed out on so many opportunities because of this concept, so throw it right out the window."
"'Meeteing the parents.' Like, yeah, eventually, if you're serious, it's a good idea to introduce your significant other to your parents, since they're going to be a big part of your life. But in this era, it was like, 'meet my parents first and then go out on a date with me,' which, one, that's a lot of pressure, and two, if people met my parents first, they'd probably go running for the hills. And third, it's not exactly applicable when you go to a boarding school, either, what are you going to do, hop a portal first before you catch a movie? Pass. This is particularly ridiculous because it's rooted in the idea that a daughter is the property of her parents, or, more specifically, her father, and that when she starts to date, she isn't doing it for pleasure and to enjoy herself and the company of others, but to find a husband, who will then take ownership of her in marriage. So meeting the parents first and foremost is basically like an initial pitch meeting, where you go in and be all 'hey, I wanna purchase this part of your company!', the company being, you know, the family unit, and that's just so messed up. Meeting the parents is important, it's a good step, but not, like, right away. I mean, my parents never even met half my boyfriends; they didn't even meet my ex-husband, so, yeah. Trash. Garbage. Outdated. Date who you want, you don't need parental approval.
"'Let him talk first – remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.' UM. Yeah. No.
"And don't even get me started with the one that compared conversation with a woman to a vampire sucking the life out of the man. Yes, that was an actual thing I read in one of these books. Talk about yikes.
"Let's see....'Don't place your order.' Oh, this one's great. Ladies, don't order your own food at the restaurant. Let the man dictate what you put in your mouth. That's a great foundation for a relationship, having the other person in charge of what you can and cannot eat. Although, I suppose I can see some benefit to it. It's like a test, for the guy, to see what they order for you, and, if it's terrible, that's a good time for your friend to come through with that emergency call to break up the date.
"'Don’t humiliate guys by trying to pay for a date.' Sorry, but if your guys is humiliated by you making mega-bank and paying your own way, then he's not worth it.
"Going back a little further, this nice little tidbit is from the '30s that suggests you have your mom 'send you flowers' in an effort to make it look like you're desireable and a hot catch. Because nothing says 'I'm not desperate at all!' like having your mom send you flowers to get attention. This same section suggested that, even when you're home, hang out with the lights off in your room so that if anyone passes by, they see the lights are off and think you must be out and therefor popular. What?
"'Don’t drink too much, as a man expects you to keep your dignity all evening.' Yeah, sure. He's probably just jealous that he can't keep up. I mean, sure, binge drinking is a problem and hangovers are the worst, but if you're watching how much you drink just because you're worried about what your date thinks about your 'dignity'? You're doing it wrong.
"And, last but not least: 'No kissing on the first date.' Please. The idea of no kissing on the first date...or hell, even more, let's be honest...is outdated and, quite frankly, a huge waste of time. Who wants to put all that effort into it only to find out that he slobbers worst than a dog? Not to mention, if you're feeling it, you're feeling it. There's no shame in being attracted to someone and going for it. It's just more propeganda that aims to use sex as a weapon against people...
"So as you can see," Summer then concluded, "this is a whole lot of garbage. Straight hot dumpster fire trash, in my humble opinion. But, since this is a class, let's actually discuss it. Do you feel differently? And if so, why do you feel some of these dating rules should still be upheld? Or do you agree completely? Also, definitely share any dating horror stories you may have about misguided rules, and compare some of these rules with the expectations that you have in your own worlds or cultures or whatever. Is there anything you're expected to follow in your culture that's not on the board that you think is garbage? How can you subvert it? Or any of these things, really. I mean, this class is basically me ranting, so now I guess it's your turn to rant or whatever. Because here? Your topics of conversation are just as important as anyone else's, dammit."
"Welcome baaaack," she said, drawling it out a little bit, as if amused that they'd even bothered but secretly quite a bit pleased that they had. "Hope you guys are ready for another thrilling and exciting class of dismantling the outdated and outmoded concepts of matrimony that have infested and poisoned this planet's culture since pretty much the get-go! But we might be jumping into this a little quickly; you'll have to forgive me, I tend to do that to a fault, so before we really dig our teeth deep into marriage, let's start first with a little bit of dating, shall we?
"Now, I know I said we'd be delving into both mid-century and Victorian era advice for this class, but as far as dating goes? The Victorians and turn-of-the-century folks had it down pretty good. It's a lot of stuff like, 'hey, don't be an ass' and 'don't try to impress a lady by blowing all your cash on her right on the gate because that's really going to lead to some disappointment down the road' and even 'hey, ladies, don't go running into traffic.' They even had a whole system of fan signals that women could use to try and give the guy hints as to whether or not she was interested in his advances or if she was totally friendzoning him, and there was a trend of these little invite cards that said things like, 'hey, we just got this new lamp, come on over and I'll show you just how low the lighting can go, P.S. our sofa just fits two,' which is basically a smooth-ass way to text 'yo, my parents aren't home' or 'guess who just got a single room this semester' before the advent of telephones. When it came to dating, these guys were legit experts in subverting the social constraints of society, and it makes me wonder why any of them ever decided to ruin it by going and getting married.
"Although, they did have the advice of 'downplaying your talents,' because god forbid your future husband saw how talented and bright and capable you were, and found it to be a turn-off. Fuck that guy.
"Anyway, let's get to the mid-century, then, where things were sort of a different story, and dating was dictated by all sorts of ridiculous rules that young people today are still finding it difficult o break away from, but really, really, should..."
She turned to the board, pointing out the first point, and clearing her throat.
"'Making the first move.' This is a task reserved only for guys, and any woman making a first move was considered a floozy, and that is complete trash, because, ninety percent of the time, if I didn't make the first move, nothing was getting done. This whole idea that a guy has to make the first move? Why? If you like someone, go for it. Who cares? I've missed out on so many opportunities because of this concept, so throw it right out the window."
"'Meeteing the parents.' Like, yeah, eventually, if you're serious, it's a good idea to introduce your significant other to your parents, since they're going to be a big part of your life. But in this era, it was like, 'meet my parents first and then go out on a date with me,' which, one, that's a lot of pressure, and two, if people met my parents first, they'd probably go running for the hills. And third, it's not exactly applicable when you go to a boarding school, either, what are you going to do, hop a portal first before you catch a movie? Pass. This is particularly ridiculous because it's rooted in the idea that a daughter is the property of her parents, or, more specifically, her father, and that when she starts to date, she isn't doing it for pleasure and to enjoy herself and the company of others, but to find a husband, who will then take ownership of her in marriage. So meeting the parents first and foremost is basically like an initial pitch meeting, where you go in and be all 'hey, I wanna purchase this part of your company!', the company being, you know, the family unit, and that's just so messed up. Meeting the parents is important, it's a good step, but not, like, right away. I mean, my parents never even met half my boyfriends; they didn't even meet my ex-husband, so, yeah. Trash. Garbage. Outdated. Date who you want, you don't need parental approval.
"'Let him talk first – remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.' UM. Yeah. No.
"And don't even get me started with the one that compared conversation with a woman to a vampire sucking the life out of the man. Yes, that was an actual thing I read in one of these books. Talk about yikes.
"Let's see....'Don't place your order.' Oh, this one's great. Ladies, don't order your own food at the restaurant. Let the man dictate what you put in your mouth. That's a great foundation for a relationship, having the other person in charge of what you can and cannot eat. Although, I suppose I can see some benefit to it. It's like a test, for the guy, to see what they order for you, and, if it's terrible, that's a good time for your friend to come through with that emergency call to break up the date.
"'Don’t humiliate guys by trying to pay for a date.' Sorry, but if your guys is humiliated by you making mega-bank and paying your own way, then he's not worth it.
"Going back a little further, this nice little tidbit is from the '30s that suggests you have your mom 'send you flowers' in an effort to make it look like you're desireable and a hot catch. Because nothing says 'I'm not desperate at all!' like having your mom send you flowers to get attention. This same section suggested that, even when you're home, hang out with the lights off in your room so that if anyone passes by, they see the lights are off and think you must be out and therefor popular. What?
"'Don’t drink too much, as a man expects you to keep your dignity all evening.' Yeah, sure. He's probably just jealous that he can't keep up. I mean, sure, binge drinking is a problem and hangovers are the worst, but if you're watching how much you drink just because you're worried about what your date thinks about your 'dignity'? You're doing it wrong.
"And, last but not least: 'No kissing on the first date.' Please. The idea of no kissing on the first date...or hell, even more, let's be honest...is outdated and, quite frankly, a huge waste of time. Who wants to put all that effort into it only to find out that he slobbers worst than a dog? Not to mention, if you're feeling it, you're feeling it. There's no shame in being attracted to someone and going for it. It's just more propeganda that aims to use sex as a weapon against people...
"So as you can see," Summer then concluded, "this is a whole lot of garbage. Straight hot dumpster fire trash, in my humble opinion. But, since this is a class, let's actually discuss it. Do you feel differently? And if so, why do you feel some of these dating rules should still be upheld? Or do you agree completely? Also, definitely share any dating horror stories you may have about misguided rules, and compare some of these rules with the expectations that you have in your own worlds or cultures or whatever. Is there anything you're expected to follow in your culture that's not on the board that you think is garbage? How can you subvert it? Or any of these things, really. I mean, this class is basically me ranting, so now I guess it's your turn to rant or whatever. Because here? Your topics of conversation are just as important as anyone else's, dammit."