Getting to Know Your Own Backyard | Monday, Period 1

[futurespacemom]

"It's going to be back to the asteroid belt this week," Kanan said, grinning his usual laid-back grin today as he waved the students onto Hera's ship. "Apparently that's where a lot of the interesting stuff lives, go figure. We'll be looking for one asteroid in particular this week. Maybe we can even get out and walk, again."

He figured it had to have enough gravitational pull to keep the students from bouncing off into space. For reasons that would be obvious in a minute.

"We don't exactly have a map," Hera said, "but we do know where its orbit puts it at the moment. And this one's…"

"Lumpy?"

Kanan was helpful.

"I was going to say 'distinctive', but 'lumpy' works," Hera said. "Also, it's got its own moon!"

Now that was cute, Kanan.

"That too," Kanan chuckled. "The asteroid in question is called 243 Ida, or just Ida for short, and while it's not the largest thing in the asteroid belt - that distinction goes to Ceres, which counts as both a dwarf planet and an asteroid because space gets complicated if you let it - it is massive enough to have its very own little moon caught in its gravitational pull. The moon's name is Dactyl, and it's roughly about a kilometer and a half in diameter."

Which, on a cosmic scale, made it downright adorable.

"Ida's not all that much bigger, and it's apparently two big objects smushed together," Hera said helpfully as they took off. So keep an eye out for it! We might be able to walk on it, even, but we'll have to put Chopper on grapple duty just in case."

"You guys would make pretty lousy asteroids," Kanan agreed.

Because he was the most helpful teacher ever.

Understanding American Holidays, Monday

[imafuturist]

The classroom today was decorated with poinsettias, creepy elves on shelves, and a Christmas tree. And, possibly most importantly, the teachers were once again in costume.

Because they were dedicated professionals.

"Today we will be talking about Christmas," Tony said. In no way would he be drawing attention to the elf costume he was currently rocking. "The holiday where people complain about cups at Starbucks."

Steve scratched at his fake Santa beard. "I still can't believe the stuff people find to complain about in this century. We complained about not having enough food. We didn't care about what it was served in." Old man complaining made more sense when he looked like an old man.

"It's the war on Christmas," Tony assured him solemnly. "Which you will all learn about if you stick around for the holiday. The holiday that we stole from other religions that celebrates the winter solstice in order to make it about the birth of Christ... is in danger. Because of cups."

"And ignoring the idea that there are, what, three other major holidays in December?" Steve said, frowning. "But because it's not all about them--"

Someone stop Steve from getting righteously indignant and ranting for the rest of the hour.

"America," Tony said before the rant could really take off. Jazz hands were involved. "The non-religious part is a holiday about gift giving and enforced family time."

"Because there wasn't enough at Thanksgiving, apparently," Steve added. "These costumes, by the way, were Stark's idea."

Kind of.

"That's not very jolly of you to say, Santa." Also, he was keeping the Christmas cookies from Steve for that. "Santa is one of the most common figures you'll see. He's a sort of bastardization of a Christian saint who might be the bastardization of an old sun god? Thor was kinda drunk when he mentioned it, though..."

Steve blinked slowly at Tony. "Right. Small children stand in line at department stores to sit on Santa's lap and tell him what they'd like for Christmas--we will not be doing that today because I'm pretty sure if I have teenagers sitting on my lap, Mrs. Winchester will drag me by my ear to her office and then it will get really ugly. Instead we'll be decorating gingerbread."

"Which is just as much fun as sitting on a strangers lap," Tony said dryly.

Library, Monday

[intotheout]

Tip's mom was taking J.Lo on a vacation to the beach, this week. Which at first Tip was pissed about -- taking her best friend but not her? Rude! -- but then she found out that one of J.Lo's public works projects had managed to result in three fires and a recreation of the Great Molasses Flood. So, okay. Getting J.Lo out of town wasn't the worst idea.

Of course, it also seemed that someone had informed J.Lo that the dominant oceanic life form on earth was a ravenous, horrifying monster, so now Tip was having to talk him through a panic attack about sharks.

"Look," she said. "It's okay. Sharks can totally kill, yes, but they usually leave people alone. Especially in the North Atlantic. They like to eat fish, and like, seals and things."

"BUT J.LO IS SMELLINGS LIKE FISHES!"

". . . Okay, so maybe just don't go in the water? They can't get you if you're not in the water."

That just led to an extended crying jag. Tip had forgotten for a moment that Boov were amphibious. Going in the water was the part he'd been looking forward to the most.

So now Tip was spending her shift looking up whether or not sharks had a sense of smell and how to avoid being attacked by one if you were basically a sapient octopus. The answer to the first question was "yes." The answer to the second, it turned out, was in several books on in the Fandom Library, at least according to the card catalog. J.Lo's first oceanic adventure might be saved, yet!

[Open!]

Sciencing Things Sciencily: Sciencing Harder, Monday

[whatisclocks]

Philomena was sitting at the front of the class, at the desk, the chicken perched on her shoulder and a very intense look on her face.

"D'you hear that?" she said. She turned her head quickly, but saw... nothing. "I swear I heard something," she muttered. "Sound's weird, innit? It's all waves and bits, like the ocean, but sometimes you hear sound when there isn't any. 'Cause of the waves, they go through everything."

It was entirely possible she hadn't slept well last night.

"I've been trying to figure out how earworms happen," she said. "I can't get Despacito out of my head, it's driving me mad. I think it's 'cause of all the oceans around Puerto Rico, there's extra waves, and those waves get in everywhere, like."

Beat.

"Credit goes to whoever can wave this song out of my head."

... and that was it.