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fandomhigh2017-07-31 10:37 am
imafuturist) wrote in fandomhigh2017-07-31 10:37 am
Understanding American Holidays, Monday
The classroom today was decorated with poinsettias, creepy elves on shelves, and a Christmas tree. And, possibly most importantly, the teachers were once again in costume.
Because they were dedicated professionals.
"Today we will be talking about Christmas," Tony said. In no way would he be drawing attention to the elf costume he was currently rocking. "The holiday where people complain about cups at Starbucks."
Steve scratched at his fake Santa beard. "I still can't believe the stuff people find to complain about in this century. We complained about not having enough food. We didn't care about what it was served in." Old man complaining made more sense when he looked like an old man.
"It's the war on Christmas," Tony assured him solemnly. "Which you will all learn about if you stick around for the holiday. The holiday that we stole from other religions that celebrates the winter solstice in order to make it about the birth of Christ... is in danger. Because of cups."
"And ignoring the idea that there are, what, three other major holidays in December?" Steve said, frowning. "But because it's not all about them--"
Someone stop Steve from getting righteously indignant and ranting for the rest of the hour.
"America," Tony said before the rant could really take off. Jazz hands were involved. "The non-religious part is a holiday about gift giving and enforced family time."
"Because there wasn't enough at Thanksgiving, apparently," Steve added. "These costumes, by the way, were Stark's idea."
Kind of.
"That's not very jolly of you to say, Santa." Also, he was keeping the Christmas cookies from Steve for that. "Santa is one of the most common figures you'll see. He's a sort of bastardization of a Christian saint who might be the bastardization of an old sun god? Thor was kinda drunk when he mentioned it, though..."
Steve blinked slowly at Tony. "Right. Small children stand in line at department stores to sit on Santa's lap and tell him what they'd like for Christmas--we will not be doing that today because I'm pretty sure if I have teenagers sitting on my lap, Mrs. Winchester will drag me by my ear to her office and then it will get really ugly. Instead we'll be decorating gingerbread."
"Which is just as much fun as sitting on a strangers lap," Tony said dryly.
Because they were dedicated professionals.
"Today we will be talking about Christmas," Tony said. In no way would he be drawing attention to the elf costume he was currently rocking. "The holiday where people complain about cups at Starbucks."
Steve scratched at his fake Santa beard. "I still can't believe the stuff people find to complain about in this century. We complained about not having enough food. We didn't care about what it was served in." Old man complaining made more sense when he looked like an old man.
"It's the war on Christmas," Tony assured him solemnly. "Which you will all learn about if you stick around for the holiday. The holiday that we stole from other religions that celebrates the winter solstice in order to make it about the birth of Christ... is in danger. Because of cups."
"And ignoring the idea that there are, what, three other major holidays in December?" Steve said, frowning. "But because it's not all about them--"
Someone stop Steve from getting righteously indignant and ranting for the rest of the hour.
"America," Tony said before the rant could really take off. Jazz hands were involved. "The non-religious part is a holiday about gift giving and enforced family time."
"Because there wasn't enough at Thanksgiving, apparently," Steve added. "These costumes, by the way, were Stark's idea."
Kind of.
"That's not very jolly of you to say, Santa." Also, he was keeping the Christmas cookies from Steve for that. "Santa is one of the most common figures you'll see. He's a sort of bastardization of a Christian saint who might be the bastardization of an old sun god? Thor was kinda drunk when he mentioned it, though..."
Steve blinked slowly at Tony. "Right. Small children stand in line at department stores to sit on Santa's lap and tell him what they'd like for Christmas--we will not be doing that today because I'm pretty sure if I have teenagers sitting on my lap, Mrs. Winchester will drag me by my ear to her office and then it will get really ugly. Instead we'll be decorating gingerbread."
"Which is just as much fun as sitting on a strangers lap," Tony said dryly.