How to Survive the Zombie Apocalypse: Wednesday Period 1 - Class 1

[shotbillmurray.livejournal.com]

When the students entered the dangershop today, they would see that it had been turned into a deserted sports arena, complete with a track encircling a football field.

Well it wasn’t completely deserted. First there was the teacher who was standing in front of his students looking somewhat awkward and nervous holding a shotgun. Honestly if a bunny had been transformed into a human being and given a weapon, he’d look a lot like Columbus Ohio.

Also? There was a zombified football team standing behind him. They were all frozen much as if someone had hit a pause button in the middle of a horror movie while they went out o get a bucket of popcorn.

( But we'll get to them later... )

[Please note that this is a class about zombies. If you are squeamish or don't like violence this might not be the post to be reading. OCD is up!]

Library, Wednesday (5/11)

[ancientbschamp.livejournal.com]

Gabrielle understood by now that summer was typically supposed to be a lower-key time of year, academically speaking, in this part of the world, in this time period. For some reason, though, she felt like she had a busier class schedule now than she ever had in what was about to be two years at Fandom. That wasn't a bad thing; it kept her busy enough to not be too restless about wanting to go home (although she was due for a visit soon), or to worry too much about people who'd left.

The library seemed intent on keeping her busy, too; after the fourth time the ornately bound translation of the Nibelungenlied showed up on the collections desk after she'd reshelved it, she gave up and started reading it instead. She supposed it was at least a useful bit of cultural insight, if not information she'd ever need to use someday.

What? It wasn't as if she would. Would she?

Surf's Up, Wednesday, Period 3

[takesaftermom.livejournal.com]

When the students entered the Danger Shop, they'd find themselves surrounded by a white sandy beach and a calm surf. There were surfboards of varying sizes propped up in the front of the room, where Summer happened to be standing.

"Welcome to Surf's Up," she began, once everyone had arrived. "I'm your teacher, Summer Pitt. You can call me Summer or Miss Pitt, if you prefer. I'm good with either one," she added, smiling.

"Since today's the first class, I thought we could start with introductions and what experience, if any, you've had with surfing. Then we'll pair you up with the right size board in preparation for next week's class and hit the water. If there's anything you'd like to know about the sport, feel free to ask me. We're here to learn how to surf, a little bit about the history of the sport and most of all, to have fun. It is summer, after all."

[Go for it!]

Sex And Candy, Wednesday, Second Period

[steel-not-glass.livejournal.com]

Cindy had left a note on the classroom door telling the students to head up to the Danger Shop. As the students arrived, they would see that it had been programmed to look like a beautiful garden. A closer examination would show that everything in the garden was edible--more than simply edible, even. Much of it was candy. Spun-sugar flowers decorated the path. The bark of the trees might be made of candied peppermint, or peanut brittle, or simple chocolate. Even the 'dirt' was made of crumbled cookie pieces, with gummy worms burrowing through. Colorful rocks were little pieces of hard candy and the weeping willow dangled branches of thin caramel over the path. The apple tree was growing candy apples, of every different variety, and the tiny lemon tree gushed lemonade when the bark was cut.

Today, class was held in a garden full of moddable candy and treats.

A really sharp observer might notice that there was no sign of Cindy.

[Please wait for OCD up]

Childcare For Idiots, Thursday, Period 1 - 5/12

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

Class on this fine, Icelandic day was greeted by a small pile of delicious, delicious candy waiting for them to help themselves to. Oh, and a guy in a red outfit that most certainly was not pajamas at all. Because that would be silly.

And a small, three year old child sitting at the desk, coloring what appeared to be dinosaurs. Oh yeah, this was learning through experience, people. Get used to it.

"Goooood mornin' class!" Deadpool said, bouncing on his heels as everyone filed on in. "Welcome to Childcare for Idiots. Because, trust me, on this island you're gonna need it. Whether it's due to random children from alternate universes that are just so goddamn precocious that you want to claw your own eyes out or because your roommate/bestie/significant other has magically turned into a small version of themselves... it's just gonna happen."

Deal with it.

"My name is Deadpool, only with better font. And this right here is Janice Summers. She is the mayor's kid and there will hell to pay if anyone harms a hair on her lil' ginger head. Got it?" he asked. "Good! Today we're gonna introduce ourselves and talk about how it's tempting to give kids candy and ice cream to stop them from making sad eyes or crying... the sugar high and crash after will probably change your mind preeeeetty quickly."

A beat.

"And they'll probably puke on you. Innit that right, Jan?"

Jan didn't even look up from her coloring book to call out, "Yeeeees, daaaad."

YOU HEARD NOTHING OF THE PATERNAL SORT HERE.

Deadpool cleared his throat, waving toward the candy. "Now grab some and introduce yourself and why you're here. Quickly, before I sic the kid on you. She has stickers and likes to braid hair. Just puttin' it out there."