Library; Monday [ 02/09 ].

[not-a-mused.livejournal.com]

Well, then.

This weekend had been interesting. Cal's alarm clock had somehow, miraculously, still managed to have gone off this morning so that he could make it into the library on time, clinging to his coffee. It wouldn't matter how much of it he managed to suck down. There was nothing that was likely to shake him out of the daze he was in.

Post-surgery. Whatever it was that happened this weekend, that was him. If he'd decided to go with the surgery instead of running away from Dr. Luce's office that fateful morning.

It was a hell of a lot to swallow, so hopefully, there wasn't a lot to do today because he doubted he was going to be able to do anything but sit and stare in astonishment for a while.

...he had to find out whoever that was making that documentary. Had to.

Sex Ed, Monday [2-9] Third Period

[screwyoumarvel]

Steve looked horribly embarrassed as he started class today. "I would just like to begin by apologizing to anyone I insulted, in any form, over the weekend. I was, like many of you, not myself, but that doesn't make some of the things I said to people any less reprehensible." He didn't think he was ever going to come to terms with the memory of that person's anger and prejudice. And that had been him. God. "Now. Moving along to our class topic. Last week we talked about pregnancy, this week you're going to participate in a practical exercise. I have here nine five pound bags of flour, one for every two of you, because yes, you have been randomly divided into couples. For the next week, these are your babies. You will carry them everywhere. You can name and decorate them if you like, but do not damage them. I expect the bags returned intact next week. As to how I will know..." Steve picked up one bag and turned the bottom to face the class, revealing his signature. "I'm told these would sell for a pretty penny on eBay in certain realities. Don't even think about it, Mr. Madrox. When I call your names, you can come up and get your 'baby,' and then spend the rest of the period getting acquainted with your new partner in parenting."

Blank Page Art Club, After Classes, Monday, 2/9

[swipedthatfoot.livejournal.com]

Claire had an old issue of Seventeen in her lap and was snipping at it almost viciously as she waited for the group to gather. "We're making collages about how much our weekends sucked," she said, once it seemed like everyone was there. "If your weekend didn't suck, make collages about how much Valentine's Day sucks. Or how much something else sucks."

She gestured with one hand to the stack of old magazines, scissors, posterboard and other mixed media, including glitter in several colors. Somehow, the supply table didn't look right without it.

Young Entrepreneurs; Monday, Period 6 [ 02/09 ].

[stocksgrrl.livejournal.com]

Turtle had very seriously considered calling off the meeting. It was bad enough having to wake up next to the guy she'd married over the weekend without having to sit in a small group of people at him in a business-type setting.

However, there was a lesson in all of this, and a successful person would strive to use that lesson to her advantage to help better move along. So she was there at the head of the table as usual, trying her best to look like her face wasn't constantly red as she drew herself up professionally.

"One thing," she started, after clearing her throat to make sure her voice didn't waver, "that is very important in business relationships, especially in small groups, is that there is a clear and distinct line between the business and the personal. One cannot let some personal incident interfere with the fact that he or she has a job to do. Your business does not care if you got drunk at the company party and said stupid thing. It does not care if you thought you were someone else and married one of your business partners. It does not take excuses like that, and so it is very important for a young entrepreneur to always exude an air of pure, unflappable professionalism. If any of you," which she knew at least one other person did, "had a weekend as weird as mine, this is a lesson we could all stand to hear. So today, that's what we're going to do. We're going to network with each other on very professional levels, completely disregarding any personal aspects that may try to interfere."

And, failing that, there was always the usual assortment of things to eat to stuff into your mouth before you said something stupid.

Management Theory [Tuesday, February 10, 4th period]

[saveonpostage.livejournal.com]

When the class was assembled before her, Yzma began her customary stalking back and forth. "There are times when you are in a position of leadership that you will have to deal with stupid, ungrateful people who steal cov--" she coughed. "Who steal things. Like ideas. And office supplies. Which is wrong. But you should not kill them immediately!"

She waved her hand and a slew of giant hammers appeared in a corner. "You should learn the importance of healthy and productive stress relief. And then go kill them, when you have your alibi in order."

What a good teacher she was.

"So! Take a hammer and break some statues!" It's probably better not to look too closely at the faces on those statues. They might look familiar.

Child Development- 1st Period- Class #6

[slapbetcommish.livejournal.com]

"Good morning, class," Lily greeted them after the bell had rung. "Today we're going to be dealing with psychology, specifically developmental psychology. Here's the thing: this is a scary scary topic because it is huge. There are a lot of different guys with theories, some more famous than others, and there's a lot to it. But we're only using one class period to discuss it, because I already talked enough this weekend and you all might fall asleep on your desks. But," she said, handing out a stack of work sheets, "I want you to look these over. Find something you want to discuss and we'll go over it here in class. And if you want some extra credit, next week come in with a summary of one of the theories. Do not copy off Wikipedia, that's the easiest thing to check in the world.

( long class is long )

Ethics [Tuesday, February 10, 2nd period]

[sith_happened]

Anakin was in a very good mood this morning. Something about seeing old friends and a wife's ex-boyfriend transformed into a girl had cheered him right up.

"Today we talk about something called the Golden Rule, a concept which unites many separate religions on this planet," he began, leaning against his desk and stared around the classroom. "It sounds altruistic: 'do unto others as you would have done unto you', but there's a couple of logical flaws in it. What if you don't mind getting poked in the stomach? Does it follow that you could wander around aimlessly poking people? What if you don't see what's wrong with stealing? Or killing? Or hating entire groups of people on principle? If the practical application is supposed to be you randomly help people because they could be good, wouldn't the opposite be that you could randomly harm people because they might be evil?"

He shrugged. "I suppose the Golden Rule could be broken down to 'be nice to people, and they'll be nice to you' but out here in the real world, we all know it doesn't exactly work like that, and the concept could also be reinterpreted as 'it doesn't bother me, so why does it bother you?' Is this a case of aiming for an ideal and hoping that it will cause a ripple effect of positive things, or something overly simplistic that taken to its logical extreme renders itself useless? Has seeing it on everything from coffee mugs to tea towels made the very idea of it trite, or does it still have a place in the mind of someone trying to lead an ethical life?"

Food Appreciation, Class Six, Period Three

[baskiceball.livejournal.com]

One half of the buffet table today was covered in Valentine's Day candy. Heart-shaped lollypops, the gamble chocolate that came in the heart boxes, Hershey's kisses, Red Hots, those fake candy lips, those candy hearts with the words on them and all sorts of other moddable types of candy. The other half of the table was covered in oysters, bananas, almonds, asparagus and other foods that were apparently aphrodisiacs.

Marshall was standing at the front of the class with a box of chocolates in his hands. "Okay guys, in light of the holiday, I've decided we should eat food that has to do with Valentine's Day. Taken or not, the one thing we can all look forward to on Valentine's Day is candy. Lots and lots of candy. So much candy that if you're single you can eat it all night until you throw up. Or, if you're me, eat it all night until your wife tells you to stop otherwise you're going to throw up. I don't really know what Valentine's Day has to do with candy but, then again, I don't know why it has to do with greeting cards either."

"So that's one half of the table. The other half has foods that people consider aphrodisiacs," Marshall said, pointing to the right side of the table. "An aphrodisiac, if you don't know, is something that's supposed to get you in the mood to...you know, bow chicka wow wow."

Dear god, Marshall. Stop scaring the kids.

"I'm not sure if it works or not and I don't really know why they're supposed to make you get in the mood but, whatever, oysters are delicious," he said. Marshall paused. "Please don't use the aphrodisiacs as an excuse to make out in here. PDA is gross."

"Okay, so, that's all I've got," Marshall said. "Dig in!"