Sex Ed, Monday [2-9] Third Period

[screwyoumarvel]

Steve looked horribly embarrassed as he started class today. "I would just like to begin by apologizing to anyone I insulted, in any form, over the weekend. I was, like many of you, not myself, but that doesn't make some of the things I said to people any less reprehensible." He didn't think he was ever going to come to terms with the memory of that person's anger and prejudice. And that had been him. God. "Now. Moving along to our class topic. Last week we talked about pregnancy, this week you're going to participate in a practical exercise. I have here nine five pound bags of flour, one for every two of you, because yes, you have been randomly divided into couples. For the next week, these are your babies. You will carry them everywhere. You can name and decorate them if you like, but do not damage them. I expect the bags returned intact next week. As to how I will know..." Steve picked up one bag and turned the bottom to face the class, revealing his signature. "I'm told these would sell for a pretty penny on eBay in certain realities. Don't even think about it, Mr. Madrox. When I call your names, you can come up and get your 'baby,' and then spend the rest of the period getting acquainted with your new partner in parenting."

Comments

Sign In

[screwyoumarvel]

Like you can't believe what you did this weekend.

Re: Sign In

[death-and-pies.livejournal.com]

Ned

During the Lecture

[screwyoumarvel]

Whisper, wonder why bags of flour, nap, etc.

Re: During the Lecture

[death-and-pies.livejournal.com]

Ned was just going to listen to the lecture while his head was buried in his arms on the desk.

Re: During the Lecture

[bad-nose-job.livejournal.com]

Penelope was herself this weekend, and somewhat amused at her fellow classmates who weren't.

Re: During the Lecture

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

...flour?

Well, it was better than those creepy tik tok things he'd seen one class use.

Re: During the Lecture

[shyest-eyes.livejournal.com]

Hinata, having had nothing happen to her, was rather more focused on the assignment than on the weekened.

Re: During the Lecture

[blondecanary.livejournal.com]

For once, Sex Ed was not the most horrifying part of her day. Yay!

Re: During the Lecture

[lovemykilt]

Priestly was slunk as low as humanly possible in his chair, and somehow, despite the bright green t-shirt and matching hair, was trying to remain inconspicuous.

He was wondering if he should have just stayed in the damned closet he woke up in.

Re: During the Lecture

[chic-harper.livejournal.com]

Harper, who hadn't really left her room all weekend, was looking a little confused as she leaned over and whispered to the person next to her, "Did something happen this weekend?"

Re: During the Lecture

[notyourpawn.livejournal.com]

Alice was still curious as to why she had been so ... aggressive, perhaps, this weekend. Eying her classmates in turn, she discovered she had gotten off light.

Pair Off - Gwen Cooper and Ned

[screwyoumarvel]

Ned and Gwen, come get your flour baby!

Re: Pair Off - Gwen Cooper and Ned

[death-and-pies.livejournal.com]

While not the most pleasant of assignments, Ned could deal with this. It was flour. It wasn't alive. He could deal.

At least there'd be no marriage involved.

Pair Off - Boaz Priestly and Eowyn

[screwyoumarvel]

Priestly and Eowyn, come get your bundle of wheat!

Re: Pair Off - Boaz Priestly and Eowyn

[outofthecage.livejournal.com]

After spending the weekend dreaming of marriage and children, and nearly ending up as a little girl's mother, this assignment seemed predestined, to further her embarrassment. Still, the task itself did not sound difficult, especially since she had a partner, and she hoped that he would agree.

Pair Off - Edmund Pevensie and Harper Finkle

[screwyoumarvel]

Edmund and Harper, come on down!

Re: Pair Off - Edmund Pevensie and Harper Finkle

[once-a-traitor.livejournal.com]

Edmund stared. Then he stared some more. He wasn't quite sure when he was going to get over the staring.

Pair Off - Eric van der Woodsen and Helen Haras-Uquara

[screwyoumarvel]

Steve might privately hope they choose to hyphenate.

Re: Pair Off - Eric van der Woodsen and Helen Haras-Uquara

[elephantgadget.livejournal.com]

Helen looked at the bag of flour. This seemed... most ridiculous.

Pair Off - Hinata Hyuuga and Jeff Murdock

[screwyoumarvel]

Jeff and Hinata, you too get a bundle of wheat!

Re: Pair Off - Hinata Hyuuga and Jeff Murdock

[scary-jeff.livejournal.com]

Jeff had done fake babies before. Of course, that one had been an egg.

He stared at the bundle of wheat in a fashion usually seen employed by ostriches.

Pair Off - Alex Russo and Dinah Ross

[screwyoumarvel]

Steve has none of the previous teacher's qualms about same-sex pairings.

Re: Pair Off - Alex Russo and Dinah Ross

[blondecanary.livejournal.com]

Dinah blinked at the bag of flour. Then her partner. "Um. I don't want kids. You can have it?"

Nice try, Dinah.

Pair Off - Alice Liddell and Liir Thropp

[screwyoumarvel]

Alice and Liir, come collect your bouncing baby bag of flour.

Re: Pair Off - Alice Liddell and Liir Thropp

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

Liir looked at the bag of flour and wondered if this wasn't going to be the most annoying assignment ever.

...also, if Makejoy would try and eat it.

Pair Off - Jamie Madrox and Sookie Stackhouse

[screwyoumarvel]

Congratulations, it's a White Lily self-rising.

Re: Pair Off - Jamie Madrox and Sookie Stackhouse

[multi-madrox.livejournal.com]

Jamie frowned at the bag of flour.

And resisted the urge to bake a cake.

Pair off - Gabriel Van Helsing and Penelope Wilhern

[screwyoumarvel]

Last pair! Come and get it!

Re: Pair off - Gabriel Van Helsing and Penelope Wilhern

[bad-nose-job.livejournal.com]

A bag of flour. Penelope stared and then shrugged. Carrying it around all week might be a bit of a pain, but sharing this effort with her partner would be tolerable.

Talk to the Teacher

[screwyoumarvel]

Both before and after class, Steve was present to be spoken to, if you could get him to actually look you in the eye. So. Embarrassed.

Re: Talk to the Teacher

[blondecanary.livejournal.com]

It's probably a good thing Dinah doesn't know about the Captain America thing right now. Or recognize him without his mask. Because otherwise she'd just crawl under her desk and die.

Luckily, she's happily oblivious, and still thinks Mr. Rogers is very nice. Except kind of staring at her bag of flour.

OOC

[screwyoumarvel]

Never has this icon been more appropriate.

Re: OOC

[once-a-traitor.livejournal.com]

Now I'm wondering what Captain America's shield would taste like. Thank you for the weird thought of the day.