fandomhigh | Sex Ed, Monday [2-9] Third Period

Steve looked horribly embarrassed as he started class today. "I would just like to begin by apologizing to anyone I insulted, in any form, over the weekend. I was, like many of you, not myself, but that doesn't make some of the things I said to people any less reprehensible." He didn't think he was ever going to come to terms with the memory of that person's anger and prejudice. And that had been him. God. "Now. Moving along to our class topic. Last week we talked about pregnancy, this week you're going to participate in a practical exercise. I have here nine five pound bags of flour, one for every two of you, because yes, you have been randomly divided into couples. For the next week, these are your babies. You will carry them everywhere. You can name and decorate them if you like, but do not damage them. I expect the bags returned intact next week. As to how I will know..." Steve picked up one bag and turned the bottom to face the class, revealing his signature. "I'm told these would sell for a pretty penny on eBay in certain realities. Don't even think about it, Mr. Madrox. When I call your names, you can come up and get your 'baby,' and then spend the rest of the period getting acquainted with your new partner in parenting."

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Steve looked both shocked and scandalized. "But--but you were a priest!"

"There was a a vampire who seemed to enjoy that," Tony replied. Oh, the grin he had was just evil.

Steve continued looking horrified. "That's so wrong."

"Well, we can't all have 'roid rage."

Steve shook his head. "I don't like thinking that I could have become that man. He was such a--a--" Steve didn't use the words for what he was.

Luckily for him, Tony did. "Asshole? I noticed. Was this supposed to be everyone at the most opposite they are normally?"

"I don't know, I'd think if you were the opposite of yourself you would have at least been a decent priest. And, yes. I think that's the word."

"I won't hold it against you," Tony promised. "Though I should probably have Pepper look into whoever I married..."

"You got married?! You were a Catholic priest!"

"I did the priest part of it, not the groom."

"Oh," Steve said. That was better. "That can't possibly have been legally binding. Did you sign anything?"

"No, but I did get threatened with an ax." Somehow... that seemed important.

"By the bride or the groom?" Steve had to ask.

"The bride's older sister." He was going to have to talk to Miss Bennet about that later...

"Shotgun wedding?" Steve asked. "Shot...axe wedding, I guess."

"She was objecting, actually." There was a pause before he added. "Though I'm almost certain the groom was dating one of my employees."

Sex Ed, Monday [2-9] Third Period

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