fandomhigh | Sex Ed, Monday [2-9] Third Period

Steve looked horribly embarrassed as he started class today. "I would just like to begin by apologizing to anyone I insulted, in any form, over the weekend. I was, like many of you, not myself, but that doesn't make some of the things I said to people any less reprehensible." He didn't think he was ever going to come to terms with the memory of that person's anger and prejudice. And that had been him. God. "Now. Moving along to our class topic. Last week we talked about pregnancy, this week you're going to participate in a practical exercise. I have here nine five pound bags of flour, one for every two of you, because yes, you have been randomly divided into couples. For the next week, these are your babies. You will carry them everywhere. You can name and decorate them if you like, but do not damage them. I expect the bags returned intact next week. As to how I will know..." Steve picked up one bag and turned the bottom to face the class, revealing his signature. "I'm told these would sell for a pretty penny on eBay in certain realities. Don't even think about it, Mr. Madrox. When I call your names, you can come up and get your 'baby,' and then spend the rest of the period getting acquainted with your new partner in parenting."

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Now she was quite curious indeed. Alice tilted her head at Liir.

"Have you ever, in your life, misbehaved?" she asked. "Deliberately, that is. Disobeyed? Told a fib? Promised to solemnly do your schoolwork before running out to a tea-party with your sisters?"

He practically had to drag it out.

"Not... precisely."

Does calling your mother a hag count if you still did what she asked?

"Well, I've lied before," which was easier to say. "But, er, the rest, not really, no."

Well. How did one get through childhood without at least one tantrum?

"I cannot let you keep him," Alice decided, in a fit of contrariness. "You'd teach our son the most ghastly things. Like following the rules and eating his vegetables before dessert."

"What's wrong with vegetables!?"

He liked vegetables!

"And there's nothing wrong with following the rules. Sometimes, they're the only reason you survive something."

"Vegetables are boring," Alice said. Everyone knew that. "They don't taste half so good as candy. Following the rules might let you survive, but I certainly wouldn't consider that living."

"You can do both!" he answered with a snort, "and you've probably never had candied vegetables. It's all in the preparation, like anything else."

The only food Liir held issue with was fish, and he felt he had good reason for that. Magical mind-warping witch goldfish aren't exactly a usual occurrence.

Candied vegetables. How utterly absurd. Alice set her chin rather defiantly.

"I did not," she insisted, "give birth to our beloved son so that you might teach him to never have any fun at all. I insist on having my three days."

"You didn't give birth to him at all!" and he wondered how it had become 'he' "and there is plenty of fun to be had! I can have fun!"

There went that 'lying' again.

"I'll take him flying! And I'll play games and buy him toys and... and all manner of things!"

Alice sighed, heavily, and reached to pat Liir's hand in a rather patronizing manner.

"Reginald," she said solemnly. "Let's not fight. I realize this divorce has been difficult for both of us, but we mustn't let that ever hurt poor dear Reggie Junior."

Dot. Dot. Dot.

"Are you reading off the wrong cards?" he asked, looking around for Reginald.

"I won't sit here and listen to your spurious accusations," Alice said, placing a hand on her head as though she was terribly, terribly wounded. (And overacting, as well.) "I knew this custody arrangement would be difficult, but I had hoped we could both be mature about it, for Reggie Junior's sake. A boy needs his father, even if his father is the sort to ruin candy by placing it on vegetables."

He opened his mouth to comment that that was certainly not how one candied vegetables before it struck him, what this sounded like.

Nanny. When she thought she was back Rush Margins.

"I think we can both be mature about it," he said then, "and I'll even be so good as to let you have the first three days. I expect you'll treat him as well as I would, be a mother to him properly."

He quirked his lips.

"And you can allow me my portion of the, er, custody by bringing him round to, well, any place you'd like on Wednesday or Thursday."

"I shall bring him to your flat on Thursday," she decided, magnanimously. "Though I ask that you not have that harlot over. There is only so much that I can take, Reginald. And I will care for our child as best I can."

Which meant, of course, that she was going to throw him into the freezer until Wednesday night.

It was the principle of the matter, now.

"Don't you call her a harlot," he said firmly.

"And I expect to see him well and happy."

As a bag of flour might be.

"I shall call her whatever I like," Alice said in a dark undertone. After all, that harpy had destroyed their happy home. "Early morning, before my class?"

"As you wish," he answered imperiously.

"Thank you, Reginald," Alice said, standing with a flourish and sweeping their bag of flour into her arms. "Until Thursday."

That was, of course, the perfect line on which to exit, and so Alice did.

And Liir waited until she was gone to start grinning and shaking his head.

Sex Ed, Monday [2-9] Third Period

Re: Pair Off - Alice Liddell and Liir Thropp

Re: Pair Off - Alice Liddell and Liir Thropp

Re: Pair Off - Alice Liddell and Liir Thropp

Re: Pair Off - Alice Liddell and Liir Thropp

Re: Pair Off - Alice Liddell and Liir Thropp

Re: Pair Off - Alice Liddell and Liir Thropp

Re: Pair Off - Alice Liddell and Liir Thropp

Re: Pair Off - Alice Liddell and Liir Thropp

Re: Pair Off - Alice Liddell and Liir Thropp

Re: Pair Off - Alice Liddell and Liir Thropp

Re: Pair Off - Alice Liddell and Liir Thropp

Re: Pair Off - Alice Liddell and Liir Thropp

Re: Pair Off - Alice Liddell and Liir Thropp

Re: Pair Off - Alice Liddell and Liir Thropp

Re: Pair Off - Alice Liddell and Liir Thropp

Re: Pair Off - Alice Liddell and Liir Thropp

Re: Pair Off - Alice Liddell and Liir Thropp

Re: Pair Off - Alice Liddell and Liir Thropp