fandomhigh | Sex Ed, Monday [2-9] Third Period

Steve looked horribly embarrassed as he started class today. "I would just like to begin by apologizing to anyone I insulted, in any form, over the weekend. I was, like many of you, not myself, but that doesn't make some of the things I said to people any less reprehensible." He didn't think he was ever going to come to terms with the memory of that person's anger and prejudice. And that had been him. God. "Now. Moving along to our class topic. Last week we talked about pregnancy, this week you're going to participate in a practical exercise. I have here nine five pound bags of flour, one for every two of you, because yes, you have been randomly divided into couples. For the next week, these are your babies. You will carry them everywhere. You can name and decorate them if you like, but do not damage them. I expect the bags returned intact next week. As to how I will know..." Steve picked up one bag and turned the bottom to face the class, revealing his signature. "I'm told these would sell for a pretty penny on eBay in certain realities. Don't even think about it, Mr. Madrox. When I call your names, you can come up and get your 'baby,' and then spend the rest of the period getting acquainted with your new partner in parenting."

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Hinata blinked.

"For the assignment?" It wasn't as if it were a real baby, after all.

"The whole thing. Women have rules, you know."

He may not have fully realised Hinata was one. All the baggy clothes. "About babies."

She was more comfortable in baggy clothes!

"And I a-am sure," she said patiently, "that Turtle-san would n-not want you to fail a c-class because you didn't do the assignment. It's not a real baby. The rules don't apply."

"She did say that about the egg," Jeff considered, picking up the flour thoughtfully. "You know, I think I'm about one baby short of a cake," he observed.

That startled a bit of a laugh out of her. "I think that would make y-you fail as well," she said, amused.

"Probably," Jeff said, with a bit of a shrug. "Are you going to keep it?"

"Not the whole week," she said, glancing at him. "O-Or else it is not much of a partnered project."

"I have a dog as well as a girlfriend," Jeff pointed out, "She might eat our homework."

Of course, Jeff was a pushover on this point.

Hinata considered that.

"P-Pretend it is practice," she said. "If it w-were a real baby you wouldn't be able to say 'my dog ate it without a huge f-fuss going up. So keep the baby away from the dog."

Clearly, Hinata had never met Nana.

"But the dog's already sort of everywhere," Jeff explained. He was slowly but surely getting the impression he was going to lose this one, which was a familiar feeling. "Even if she doesn't have her mouth, it's some other part of her anatomy."

"Yes," she said, with increasing patience. "That w-would be why this is practice. At the very least, the flour wont suffocate if your dog sits on it."

"You don't know that," Jeff said, feebly. "It just might."

"It will not," she said, "as i-it isn't alive."

"...You don't know that."

Even Jeff knew that was weak.

"It could come to life in some sort of freak... milling accident."

"There's n-no mill on the island," she chided.

"But have you looked everywhere? It could be a hidden mill." Jeff... had no idea what he was saying.

It was starting to dawn on him that she was a girl.

"Then if it i-is hidden, I'm sure it won't be found in the week we've got the flour baby," she said, and it was a good thing she had a lot of patience.

"What d-days will you be able to take care of the baby?" A pause. "And w-what should we name it?"

"Er, not Wednesdays." Yep. Jeff had lost this one. His shoulders sagged more in acceptance. "...most other days are good. But let's not name it, it might get the wrong idea."

"It needs a name," she said, amused. "If only for our grade. Tuesdays are busy for me, if you could t-take it then...?"

"Tuesdays," Jeff said, "Okay."

He was going to spend the entire time making warding-off-the-evil signs at the flour.

"I just think it may get clingy if we name it," he said, "I'm not ready for that sort of commitment."

"It's flour," she repeated. "It can't get clingy u-unless the bag bursts open and that's not a-an emotional commitment at all. It's simply a mess then."

"I w-will take it Wednesday. Did you want it for today, or would you like me to hand it over t-this evening?"

"...I'll take today," Jeff said, very, very meekly. "Er. You can pick it up at the hotel. And, well, it's sort of a commitment, isn't it? A commitment of white... powdery baking stuff."

"It's less of a commitment than t-the one you have with your shoes," she pointed out. "And I'm sure you'll d-do fine. How a-about I take it Thursday as well, and you take it Friday and Saturday? Sunday and b-bringing it to class next week I can handle."

It was really weird to be in the position of making the group's decisions.

"Okay," Jeff just said, meekly. He'd take orders from a potted plant, and they'd probably be better than anything he'd think up himself. "Thanks."

Sex Ed, Monday [2-9] Third Period

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