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Sex Ed, Monday [1-12] Third Period
Monday, January 12th, 2009 05:19 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
screwyoumarvel"Today," Steve began, "We'll be talking about contraception, or birth control.( Cut for your convenience, spots of NSFW )
Monday, January 12th, 2009
screwyoumarvelBusiness 101, Monday [1-12] First Period
Monday, January 12th, 2009 06:09 amnotanactualfairy"Good morning!" Jean-Paul said to his students. "I thought of bringing you coffee, but if I have to suffer, why should you not?" That said a lot about Jean-Paul, really. "Today, we are going to talk about economics.
( Cut for Jean-Paul being a nerd )
( Cut for Jean-Paul being a nerd )
Library; Monday [ 01/12 ].
Monday, January 12th, 2009 08:54 am![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
not-a-mused.livejournal.comCal was greatly relieved to open the library and notice a distinct lack of bananas waiting for him. Not that he minded them, of course, it would just be a really long semester if it turned out he'd have to deal with them every day. Still, though he was sure it was just Fandom being weird for a week, Cal had brought precautions, placing one apple on a corner of the desk, and an orange on the other. The only place this made sense was probably in his head, but, if they didn't turn out to be very good fruit sentinels, then maybe any bananas that should show up would have company.
He sat down, got ready for the day, and then realized that he had thought about fruit sentinels. This place was finally starting to drive him a little crazy, he realized, with a thoughtful, philosophical, "Huh."
He sat down, got ready for the day, and then realized that he had thought about fruit sentinels. This place was finally starting to drive him a little crazy, he realized, with a thoughtful, philosophical, "Huh."
Child Development- 1st Period- Class #2
Monday, January 12th, 2009 10:27 pmslapbetcommish.livejournal.comHaving sent out a handwavy E-mail telling everyone to meet in the danger shop, the students would walk in to what looked like a day care. There weren't any desks, but the students were more than welcome to take seats on the floor.
"Welcome back, everyone," Lily greeted the class. She didn't look as good as she usually did, due to the fact that the washing machine had decided to act up riiiiiiight about the time she needed to actually, you know, do laundry, and she ws therefor having to go a little more casual. That's okay, she could work it. "We had a couple people try out the empathy belly, and happy extra credit to you.
"Okay, so you've had the kid- hypothetically. No one currently in high school needs to be having those anytime soon. That is my standard disclaimer," she said. "Congratulations, you now have an eensy weensy adorable tiny little bundle of joy. Except for the part where they can't do anything for themselves and need you to do it for them, all the time. And guess what, desperate teens, they can't love you back right away."
( class got long )
"Welcome back, everyone," Lily greeted the class. She didn't look as good as she usually did, due to the fact that the washing machine had decided to act up riiiiiiight about the time she needed to actually, you know, do laundry, and she ws therefor having to go a little more casual. That's okay, she could work it. "We had a couple people try out the empathy belly, and happy extra credit to you.
"Okay, so you've had the kid- hypothetically. No one currently in high school needs to be having those anytime soon. That is my standard disclaimer," she said. "Congratulations, you now have an eensy weensy adorable tiny little bundle of joy. Except for the part where they can't do anything for themselves and need you to do it for them, all the time. And guess what, desperate teens, they can't love you back right away."
( class got long )
Management Theory [Tuesday, January 13, 4th period]
Monday, January 12th, 2009 11:09 pmsaveonpostage.livejournal.comWhen the students arrived (past the levers, down the roller coaster, into the lab coats, et cetera), they would find Yzma resplendent on a giant throne. Toby was next to her, shirtless and shining and way too excited about their uniforms still.
"First impressions are very important in management," she told them as she gazed way, way, way down upon them. "Today, you will work on the way you walk into a room." She clapped her hands and a doorway appeared out of thin air next to the students. She clapped again and a rack of swooshy capes in various colors appeared next to it.
"Take the cape and walk through the door!" she announced grandly. "If you do it correctly, you will be rewarded with a crack of thunder! If you do it with less than absolute authority, you will hear a different noise. And then I will turn you into a cow."
She probably wouldn't do that second bit.
She pointed at a student at random. "You there!" Like she was going to learn their names. That's why they were in uniforms. "Begin!"
"First impressions are very important in management," she told them as she gazed way, way, way down upon them. "Today, you will work on the way you walk into a room." She clapped her hands and a doorway appeared out of thin air next to the students. She clapped again and a rack of swooshy capes in various colors appeared next to it.
"Take the cape and walk through the door!" she announced grandly. "If you do it correctly, you will be rewarded with a crack of thunder! If you do it with less than absolute authority, you will hear a different noise. And then I will turn you into a cow."
She probably wouldn't do that second bit.
She pointed at a student at random. "You there!" Like she was going to learn their names. That's why they were in uniforms. "Begin!"
Food Appreciation [Class Two, Period #3]
Monday, January 12th, 2009 11:25 pmbaskiceball.livejournal.com"Hey guys!" Marshall said, his mouth full of...something. He chewed and swallowed before talking again. "Today we're going to be talking about bar food."
He pointed at the long table in the front where there was various kinds of finger foods. "Bar food is used to soak up the alcohol in your system so you don't get so drunk that you're unable to hit on somebody. Or, if you're happily married, it's there to munch on while you watch your single friends hit on people. Either way, it's good. If you hit up a bar during happy hour then you can find this stuff for real cheap. You know when it's even cheaper? Right before closing because the bar is trying to get rid of the food."
Marshall knew a lot about bars.
"Okay, so bar food is mostly stuff you eat with your hands. Nachos, french fries, pretzels, beer nuts, onion rings, mozzarella sticks. If you're real lucky there will be some sliders on the menu," Marshall said, pointing to the burgers on the table. "And, last but certainly not least, buffalo wings. For those of you who aren't familiar with them, they aren't made of buffalo. They're chicken. And they come in different levels of heat. I prefer the more mild stuff but if I'm feeling particularly daring and there's enough blue cheese dressing around then I can crank it up to hot."
"So you've got a little bit of everything up here to dig into. There's the usual array of drinks in the back of the room," Marshall said. "There's also non-alcoholic beer and margaritas back there too. I tend to stay away from those but you guys go right ahead."
He pointed at the long table in the front where there was various kinds of finger foods. "Bar food is used to soak up the alcohol in your system so you don't get so drunk that you're unable to hit on somebody. Or, if you're happily married, it's there to munch on while you watch your single friends hit on people. Either way, it's good. If you hit up a bar during happy hour then you can find this stuff for real cheap. You know when it's even cheaper? Right before closing because the bar is trying to get rid of the food."
Marshall knew a lot about bars.
"Okay, so bar food is mostly stuff you eat with your hands. Nachos, french fries, pretzels, beer nuts, onion rings, mozzarella sticks. If you're real lucky there will be some sliders on the menu," Marshall said, pointing to the burgers on the table. "And, last but certainly not least, buffalo wings. For those of you who aren't familiar with them, they aren't made of buffalo. They're chicken. And they come in different levels of heat. I prefer the more mild stuff but if I'm feeling particularly daring and there's enough blue cheese dressing around then I can crank it up to hot."
"So you've got a little bit of everything up here to dig into. There's the usual array of drinks in the back of the room," Marshall said. "There's also non-alcoholic beer and margaritas back there too. I tend to stay away from those but you guys go right ahead."
Ethics [Tuesday, January 13, 2nd period]
Monday, January 12th, 2009 11:26 pmsith_happened"Today we discuss lying," Anakin said as he closed the classroom door precisely on time. "Everyone lies. 'Of course that doesn't make your butt look big.' 'You like her, I like her.' 'I'm totally okay with you moving on.' 'Everything's fine, why do you ask?' It's how the world goes around because no one wants to be trapped in a conversation where someone whines at you for hours on end about how awful their life is."
He looked around the room. "Trust me. Everyone's life is terrible. They're just not telling you about it. Be grateful."
He reached onto his desk for a piece of paper. "Today we're conducting an exercise to see how well you pass this particular social ritual, then we'll discuss whether you think it is necessary. We're playing two truths and a lie. I'll tell you three things about myself and you have to decide which one is the falsehood. Then you'll all tell three things and we'll see how well you can either read each other or keep things hidden."
He gave them a small smile. "I'm very good at this." He schooled his face to absolute neutrality, put his mental blocks up to bar any psychics in the room from gaining an advantage, then recited: "During a war at home I was known as 'The Hero Without Fear.' I've been married twice. I was the youngest Jedi ever to join the Jedi Council, which governed my Order." His eyes challenged them to call him out. "Who's next?"
He looked around the room. "Trust me. Everyone's life is terrible. They're just not telling you about it. Be grateful."
He reached onto his desk for a piece of paper. "Today we're conducting an exercise to see how well you pass this particular social ritual, then we'll discuss whether you think it is necessary. We're playing two truths and a lie. I'll tell you three things about myself and you have to decide which one is the falsehood. Then you'll all tell three things and we'll see how well you can either read each other or keep things hidden."
He gave them a small smile. "I'm very good at this." He schooled his face to absolute neutrality, put his mental blocks up to bar any psychics in the room from gaining an advantage, then recited: "During a war at home I was known as 'The Hero Without Fear.' I've been married twice. I was the youngest Jedi ever to join the Jedi Council, which governed my Order." His eyes challenged them to call him out. "Who's next?"