Sex Ed, Monday [1-12] Third Period

[screwyoumarvel]

"Today," Steve began, "We'll be talking about contraception, or birth control. What works, what doesn't, why you shouldn't believe what you're told. Now, usually, the only one hundred percent foolproof way to avoid pregnancy is abstinence, and the only way to avoid venereal disease--" and yes, he did call it that-- "is total abstinence until you find a permanent partner, and then to continue with that same partner for the rest of your life. However, I am all too aware that to expect people to actually do that is rank optimism. So. What are your other options? Birth control pills and...apparently there are implants can prevent pregnancy. For that you're going to need a barrier, specifically a condom. When used correctly, condoms are very effective in preventing both pregnancy and disease. This is all twenty-first century standard; if your home is not twenty-first century standard, well, at least we'll get you through high school childless except for after prom and disease-free. If you're post-modern, you probably have better methods, anyway, while if you're pre-modern, I would really recommend abstinence. In this century, syphilis means a trip to the clinic for antibiotics; in the past it meant a miserable death after going blind.

"Now let's talk about what doesn't work. Hoping you won't get pregnant doesn't work. Anything involving soda does not work and will probably land you at the, er, gynecologist explaining why you have that weird infection. Believing your partner when they tell you they're sterile really doesn't work." He paused for a moment after that, then went on. "Some behavioral methods do have some utility in preventing pregnancy, but none of them are foolproof--however, again, if you're premodern, they may be all you have. Ladies, if you are modern-based and your contraception fails--the condom breaks, you forget to take your pill--emergency contraception is effective within a day or two, some of it over the counter if you're over eighteen.

"So, to rewind a bit, condoms, when used correctly, are effective at preventing both pregnancy and disease. Plus, they are relatively cheap. So." Steve began to turn bright red, which he'd managed to avoid up until this point. Darn Irish complexion. "We are going to molest some fruit practice." He held up a banana in one hand and a foil packet in the other. "Observe." He proceeded to put the condom on the banana with only a minimum of fumbling. "Your turn."

Comments

Sign In

[screwyoumarvel]

Sexily!

Re: Sign In

[death-and-pies.livejournal.com]

Ned

During the Lecture

[screwyoumarvel]

React as you will.

Re: During the Lecture

[death-and-pies.livejournal.com]

Ned was sort of a lot grateful that he'd heard the majority of this information beforehand. If he hadn't, he was pretty sure he would have blushed hard enough to sunburn other people around him.

Re: During the Lecture

[bad-nose-job.livejournal.com]

She's heard all this before, but baring that, it still managed to make her feel nervously uncomfortable.

Re: During the Lecture

[multi-madrox.livejournal.com]

Captain America putting a condom on a banana.

Jamie was inwardly cursing about not finding a clandestine way to take video in the classroom.

Re: During the Lecture

[blondecanary.livejournal.com]

Wait, what was that about after Prom?

Dinah was starting to feel bad for poor Mr. Rogers. The time-travel plus sex-ed was making her head spin. Never mind the kids from the past.

Re: During the Lecture

[elephantgadget.livejournal.com]

Helen took good notes, comparing it to the things Alec and others had told her.

Re: During the Lecture

[shyest-eyes.livejournal.com]

Hinata was just going to... take notes and pretend really really hard that this wasn't as embarrassing as it was.

Re: During the Lecture

[outofthecage.livejournal.com]

Éowyn had thought that she was beginning to understand this place, but the longer the teacher spoke, the more confused she felt. Deep down, she understood that there might be reasons to prevent pregnancy, but to do so with items like these seemed absurd. She was reassured by his apparent embarrassment, but that did not keep her from blushing as well.

Re: During the Lecture

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

Liir's head tilted.

And tilted a little farther.

And tilted a little farther.



...wherever he ended up, he was going to try and stock up on some of this modern equipment before he left, not that he was incredibly interested in sex.

Re: During the Lecture

[stylin-wizard.livejournal.com]

Alex had heard some of this before from her mom, so it wasn't so bad.

Re: During the Lecture

[lovemykilt]

Priestly was feeling very "been there, done that" up until they got to the bananas. Then he found himself fairly glad that his facial hair would cover most of his blushing.

His health class at his old school hadn't included practicing.

Re: During the Lecture

[chic-harper.livejournal.com]

It wasn't long before Harper's face matched her red sweater.

Re: During the Lecture

[justwantsquiet.livejournal.com]

Thank goodness for health classes. Sookie'd already heard all of this, and though it made her blush, it all seemed pretty practical, at least. And everyone seemed to be pretty mature about everything.

That didn't mean she was risking hearing anyone's thoughts. Not at all.

Re: During the Lecture

[once-a-traitor.livejournal.com]

As the lecture went on, Ed found it harder and harder not to find the floor very, very interesting. Diplomacy he could handle. This? Not so much.

Re: During the Lecture

[notyourpawn.livejournal.com]

This did explain what her little sibling had been talking about, on Friday.

Incidentally, if Alice tried very, very hard, perhaps she could melt into the floor.

Re: During the Lecture

[i_vanquish_evil]

He's not sure whether to look on in utter fear or hide in complete embarrassment.

Molest Some Fruit

[screwyoumarvel]

Condoms and bananas: not exactly one of nature's perfect pairs.

Re: Molest Some Fruit

[death-and-pies.livejournal.com]

Ned, having just the tiniest bit of experience with condoms, fumbled a bit with the foil packaging, got the condom stuck on the banana and then nearly ripped it forcing it onto the fruit.

Apparently, he still had a lot to learn.

Re: Molest Some Fruit

[bad-nose-job.livejournal.com]

Okay, so. She ripped the foil package with her teeth and pulled out the condom with thumb and forefinger. Placing the banana between her knees to hold it upright, Penelope began to roll the condom gently down over it, leaving room at the tip just like she'd learned.

She grinned and was proud of herself for not tearing the rubber.

Re: Molest Some Fruit

[multi-madrox.livejournal.com]

Jamie unfortunately had already eaten his banana.

He was now considering making balloon animals.

Re: Molest Some Fruit

[scary-jeff.livejournal.com]

Jeff took to the task with joy in his heart and a tremble in his fingers, which is to say that he destroyed several condoms and wound up simply staring at the banana.

Once you got the metaphor in your head, it really got sort of disturbing.

Talk to the Teacher

[screwyoumarvel]

Who's still wondering what he's gotten himself into.

OOC

[screwyoumarvel]

I should not be awake. This is obscene.

Re: OOC

[wantstodirect]

Up early or not gone to bed yet?